MRS TARLETON. Oh, go along with you and your word of honor. Do you
think I'm a fool? I wonder you can look the lad in the face after
bullying him and making him sign those wicked lies; and all the time
you carrying on with my daughter before youd been half an hour in my
house. Fie, for shame!
PERCIVAL. Lord Summerhays: I appeal to you. Have I done the correct
thing or not?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Youve done your best, Mr Percival. But the correct
thing depends for its success on everybody playing the game very
strictly. As a single-handed game, it's impossible.
BENTLEY. _[suddenly breaking out lamentably]_ Joey: have you taken
Hypatia away from me?
LORD SUMMERHAYS. _[severely]_ Bentley! Bentley! Control yourself,
sir.
TARLETON. Come, Mr Percival! the shutters are up on the gentlemanly
business. Try the truth.
PERCIVAL. I am in a wretched position. If I tell the truth nobody
will believe me.
TARLETON. Oh yes they will. The truth makes everybody believe it.
PERCIVAL. It also makes everybody pretend not to believe it. Mrs
Tarleton: youre not playing the game.
MRS TARLETON. I dont think youve behaved at all nicely, Mr Percival.
BENTLEY. I wouldnt have played you such a dirty trick, Joey.
_[Struggling with a sob]_ You beast.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. Bentley: you must control yourself. Let me say at
the same time, Mr Percival, that my son seems to have been mistaken in
regarding you either as his friend or as a gentleman.
PERCIVAL. Miss Tarleton: I'm suffering this for your sake. I ask
you just to say that I am not to blame. Just that and nothing more.
HYPATIA. _[gloating mischievously over his distress]_ You chased me
through the heather and kissed me. You shouldnt have done that if you
were not in earnest.
PERCIVAL. Oh, this is really the limit. _[Turning desperately to
Gunner]_ Sir: I appeal to you. As a gentleman! as a man of honor!
as a man bound to stand by another man! You were in that Turkish
bath. You saw how it began. Could any man have behaved more
correctly than I did? Is there a shadow of foundation for the
accusations brought against me?
GUNNER. _[sorely perplexed]_ Well, what do you want me to say?
JOHNNY. He has said what he had to say already, hasnt he? Read that
paper.
GUNNER. When I tell the truth, you make me go back on it. And now
you want me to go back on myself! What is a man to do?
PERCIVAL. _[patiently]_ Please try to get your mind clear, Mr Brown.
I pointed out to you that you could not, as a gentleman, disparage a
lady's character. You agree with me, I hope.
GUNNER. Yes: that sounds all right.
PERCIVAL. But youre also bound to tell the truth. Surely youll not
deny that.
GUNNER. Who's denying it? I say nothing against it.
PERCIVAL. Of course not. Well, I ask you to tell the truth simply
and unaffectedly. Did you witness any improper conduct on my part
when you were in the bath?
GUNNER. No, sir.
JOHNNY. | Then what do you mean by saying that--
|
HYPATIA. | Do you mean to say that I--
|
BENTLEY. | Oh, you are a rotter. Youre afraid--
TARLETON. _[rising]_ Stop. _[Silence]._ Leave it at that. Enough
said. You keep quiet, Johnny. Mr Percival: youre whitewashed. So
are you, Patsy. Honors are easy. Lets drop the subject. The next
thing to do is to open a subscription to start this young man on a
ranch in some far country thats accustomed to be in a disturbed state.
He--
MRS TARLETON. Now stop joking the poor lad, John: I wont have it.
Has been worried to death between you all. _[To Gunner]_ Have you
had your tea?
GUNNER. Tea? No: it's too early. I'm all right; only I had no
dinner: I didnt think I'd want it. I didnt think I'd be alive.
MRS TARLETON. Oh, what a thing to say! You mustnt talk like that.
JOHNNY. Hes out of his mind. He thinks it's past dinner-time.
MRS TARLETON. Oh, youve no sense, Johnny. He calls his lunch his
dinner, and has his tea at half-past six. Havnt you, dear?
GUNNER. _[timidly]_ Hasnt everybody?
JOHNNY. _[laughing]_ Well, by George, thats not bad.
MRS TARLETON. Now dont be rude, Johnny: you know I dont like it.
_[To Gunner]_ A cup of tea will pick you up.
GUNNER. I'd rather not. I'm all right.
TARLETON. _[going to the sideboard]_ Here! try a mouthful of sloe
gin.
GUNNER. No, thanks. I'm a teetotaler. I cant touch alcohol in any
form.
TARLETON. Nonsense! This isnt alcohol. Sloe gin. Vegetarian, you
know.
GUNNER. _[hesitating]_ Is it a fruit beverage?
TARLETON. Of course it is. Fruit beverage. Here you are. _[He
gives him a glass of sloe gin]._
GUNNER. _[going to the sideboard]_ Thanks. _[he begins to drink it
confidently; but the first mouthful startles and almost chokes him]._
It's rather hot.
TARLETON. Do you good. Dont be afraid of it.
MRS TARLETON. _[going to him]_ Sip it, dear. Dont be in a hurry.
_Gunner sips slowly, each sip making his eyes water._
JOHNNY. _[coming forward into the place left vacant by Gunner's visit
to the sideboard]_ Well, now that the gentleman has been attended to,
I should like to know where we are. It may be a vulgar business
habit; but I confess I like to know where I am.
TARLETON. I dont. Wherever you are, youre there anyhow. I tell you
again, leave it at that.
BENTLEY. I want to know too. Hypatia's engaged to me.
HYPATIA. Bentley: if you insult me again--if you say another word,
I'll leave the house and not enter it until you leave it.
JOHNNY. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, my boy.
BENTLEY. _[inarticulate with fury and suppressed tears]_ Oh!
Beasts! Brutes!
MRS TARLETON. Now dont hurt his feelings, poor little lamb!
LORD SUMMERHAYS. _[very sternly]_ Bentley: you are not behaving
well. You had better leave us until you have recovered yourself.
_Bentley goes out in disgrace, but gets no further than half way to
the pavilion door, when, with a wild sob, he throws himself on the
floor and begins to yell._
MRS TARLETON. | _[running to him]_ Oh, poor child,
| poor child! Dont cry, duckie:
| he didnt mean it: dont cry.
|
LORD SUMMERHAYS| Stop that infernal noise, sir: do you
| hear? Stop it instantly.
|
JOHNNY. | Thats the game he tried on me.
| There you are! Now, mother!
| Now, Patsy! You see for yourselves.
|
HYPATIA. | _[covering her ears]_ Oh you little
| wretch! Stop him, Mr Percival. Kick him.
|
TARLETON. | Steady on, steady on. Easy, Bunny, easy.
LINA. Leave him to me, Mrs Tarleton. Stand clear, please.
_She kneels opposite Bentley; quickly lifts the upper half of him from
the ground; dives under him; rises with his body hanging across her
shoulders; and runs out with him._
BENTLEY. _[in scared, sobered, humble tones as he is borne off]_
What are you doing? Let me down. Please, Miss Szczepanowska--
_[they pass out of hearing]._
_An awestruck silence falls on the company as they speculate on
Bentley's fate._
JOHNNY. I wonder what shes going to do with him.
HYPATIA. Spank him, I hope. Spank him hard.
LORD SUMMERHAYS. I hope so. I hope so. Tarleton: I'm beyond
measure humiliated and annoyed by my son's behavior in your house. I
had better take him home.
TARLETON. Not at all: not at all. Now, Chickabiddy: as Miss Lina
has taken away Ben, suppose you take away Mr Brown for a while.
GUNNER. _[with unexpected aggressiveness]_ My name isnt Brown.
_[They stare at him: he meets their stare defiantly, pugnacious with
sloe gin; drains the last drop from his glass; throws it on the
sideboard; and advances to the writing table]._ My name's Baker:
Julius Baker. Mister Baker. If any man doubts it, I'm ready for him.
MRS TARLETON. John: you shouldnt have given him that sloe gin. It's
gone to his head.
GUNNER. Dont you think it. Fruit beverages dont go to the head; and
what matter if they did? I say nothing to you, maam: I regard you
with respect and affection. _[Lachrymosely]_ You were very good to
my mother: my poor mother! _[Relapsing into his daring mood]_ But I
say my name's Baker; and I'm not to be treated as a child or made a
slave of by any man. Baker is my name. Did you think I was going to
give you my real name? Not likely. Not me.
TARLETON. So you thought of John Brown. That was clever of you.
GUNNER. Clever! Yes: we're not all such fools as you think: we
clerks. It was the bookkeeper put me up to that. It's the only name
that nobody gives as a false name, he said. Clever, eh? I should
think so.