[9201]
F course the news of the Crown Prince’s return was soon known throughout
the kingdom, and all the Kings and Queens being thoroughly tired of
the complications which had arisen through there being so many of them
elected, were quite delighted to hear of it.
“For what is the use,” Boy heard one of them say, “of reigning if you
have no subjects to rule over but a lot of stuck-up Kings and Queens who
think too much of themselves to treat other people with proper respect?
I’m heartily sick of it.”
“Yes,” was the rejoinder, “and so am I. Why, ever since my wife has been
a Queen she has been as disagreeable as she can possibly be, and insists
upon ‘standing on her diginity,’ as she describes it, at home. I mustn’t
call her ‘my dear’ if you please, it’s too familiar--‘Your Majesty’
this, and ‘Your Majesty’ that, is what she likes, till I’m tired of
hearing it. I shall be right glad when she is plain Jane Eliza Scroggs
again, that I shall.”
Quite early on the morning after the Crown Prince’s return Cæsar
Augustus Maximilian Claudius Smith (once more called Thomas for short)
was sent to Drinkon College to bring the Royal Nurse and the little King
home again, and while he was gone the Prince and Princess drove out in
a beautiful carriage and pair and were received with most enthusiastic
cheers and applause by the populace; and in the afternoon the little
King returned accompanied by Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky.
Boy was quite surprised to see that her corkscrcw curls were now a
bright golden colour, whereas they had been quite black before.
One-and-Nine did not come back with them, but the Royal Nurse had a
letter from him addressed to Boy, which he took up to his room and read.
“Expensive Sir,” it began.
“I wonder whatever he means?” thought boy. “Oh! I see, ‘expensive’ is
his way of writing ‘dear.’”
“Expensive Sir,
“_This comes hopping that you are most healthful, as it leaves me at
present. You will be joyed to hear that I am about to be matrimonialized
to a Zuluish lady of the richest colour--with movable joints. That
Majestuous lady the Royal Nurse having declined me with much pleasure,
has offered to be sisterish to me; but the Zuluish lady objects, so
I have had to separationize myself from the Majestuous one with
considerable distance. Before we parted I begged for one of those
most twistful corkscrew curls as a keepsake, and she extravaganteously
presentuated me with the lot--they fasten behind the head with
considerable stringiness, or it may be even black tapeishness; it is
hard to tell which is what in this life.
“The Prince of Whales has given me a new coat--of paint--and as
my Zuluish lady dresses with much simpleness, we shall doubtfully
domesticate with great happiness._
[Illustration: 205]
“_Please give my devotionated affection to that Majestuous lady, and say
I will think of her with much continuation and perpetuation, and also
the curls, which shall never leave my head--as it leaves her at present.
“Yours contentuously,_
“One-and-Nine
“_N.B.--She had another set in her box_”
“I suppose he means another set of curls,” thought Boy, “which would
account for the change in Mrs. Martha Matilda Nimpky’s appearance. Well,
I’m sure I hope that One-and-Nine will be happy with his Zulu bride.
What a funny chap he is, to be sure!”
Later on in the day the Prince and Princess and the little King held a
reception, to which all the principal inhabitants of Zum were invited,
and, of course, all the Court dignitaries were present. The Public
Rhymester was also there, through the influence of his friend the
Advertiser General.
The Prince made a speech from the Terrace, in which he informed the
people that he should, of course, take the reins of office himself now,
and would do his best, when King of the Country, to promote the welfare
of his subjects.
The Princess was most popular too, and by her beauty and condescension
captivated all hearts.
In the evening there was an _al fresco_ concert in the beautiful Palace
gardens, which were brilliantly illuminated for the occasion. Amongst
the items on the programme were some songs by the “Pierrot Troupe,” and
Boy anxiously wondered if _his_ Pierrot would be amongst them. To his
great delight he found that he was, and when he stepped forward with his
banjo, and began the well-known tune to “The Little Tin Soldier,” Boy
applauded vigorously. The words, however, were quite different, and went
somehow like this--
THE MARRIED TIN SOLDIER.
``One night as I paused by the Nursery door,
```And looked at the scattered toys,
``I said to myself, “Was there ever before
```Such troublesome girls and boys?"=
``And then as I hurried to gather them up,
```I heard a wee voice complain,
``"Oh! sorry am I that I ever was wed,
```And would I were single again!”=
``On the ground at my feet lay a soldier red,
```And I think he was made of tin,
`And I noticed the paint on the top of his head
```Was getting remarkably thin.
``And I asked him why, at that hour of the night,
```He was making that horrible noise;
``And I told him to stop and behave like a man,
``Or like other respectable toys.=
``"Oh! how would you like it yourself,” quoth he,
```"To be married to such a wife;
``To be treated as no loving husband should be,
```And be plagued almost out of your life?
``She carries on with the other toys,
```She’s extravagant and vain;
``No wonder,” he said, “that I’m sorry I wed
```And long to be single again."=
``"It’s all very well,” said another voice,
```"But he’s just as bad as me,
``And he needn’t have wed, for I had my choice
```Of many as good as he.”
``And a waxen doll, in a dress of blue
```That was rather the worse for wear,
``Looked up from under our Baby’s shoe
```With a discontented air.=
`"You naughty, naughty toys,” I cried,
```"To quarrel now you’re wed.”
``And as I packed them side by side
```I sadly shook my head.
``To think that this man and his wife
```To such extremes should go--
`How glad I am that in this life
```_We_ never quarrel so!=
“Dear me!” thought Boy, “I suppose that is the same Dolly-girl and Tin
Soldier that he sang about before. Well, One-and-Nine has the best of
the bargain after all, if it is true; I must ask Pierrot about it if I
get a chance of speaking to him.”
While the concert was still going on a Messenger arrived from the King
of Limesia saying that he was very pleased to have his Portmanteau
again, and that he had quite forgiven his daughter for marrying the
Prince now, and wished them every joy and happiness; and sent them as a
peace-offering a number of Flying Machines, which had just been invented
by one of his subjects, and which were most popular at Limesia.
“Flying is now the popular craze of the day in our land,” explained the
Messenger, “and the Park is reserved certain hours in the day for the
convenience of ‘Flyists.’ Ladies now hold their ‘At Homes’ at the top of
the highest trees, and Flying Tours are all the rage.”
The machines, of which forty or fifty were sent, were very simple, and
consisted of two large silk and whalebone wings, fastened on to the back
with straps. Another strap was fastened at the wrist, and by flapping
one’s arms about it was possible to fly quite comfortably.
His Absolute Nothingness the Public Rhymester had to try one first.
“For,” as the Lord High Adjudicator explained, “if he is killed it
doesn’t matter in the least.”
He got on very well, though, and then some of the others ventured to
try them, and amused themselves and the rest of the Company by flying up
into the trees and down again. Boy tried a pair, but thought them very
clumsy. I suppose that really they were too big for him.
[Illustration: 0209]
“Not so comfortable as sailing in the Moon, is it?” said a voice by his
side, and looking around Boy beheld Pierrot with his banjo under his
arm.
“Oh, how do you do?” cried Boy, holding out his hand. “I’m so glad to
meet you again.”
“How have you been enjoying yourself?” asked Pierrot.
“Oh! immensely, thanks,” replied Boy; “but I was beginning to wonder how
I should get home again. Of course you can take me back in ‘the Moon,
can’t you?”
“Oh yes, if you like,” said Pierrot, “but we are starting soon and if
you are coming with us you had better make your adieu to the Prince and
Princess at once.”
Boy arranged to meet Pierrot in a few moments by the Bandstand and then
hurried off to say good-bye to his friends.
“Oh! must you go?” cried the Prince. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to ask you
such a lot of questions about the government of the country that you
come from, with a view to adopting somewhat the same system here; but,
of course, if you must go you must. Can’t you tell me just a little bit
about it before you go, though?”
“Well, Your Highness,” said Boy, “I really don’t know much about
Politics, but you see we have a lot of gentlemen in England who are
called Members of Parliament who are elected from all parts of the
country, and they sit every day and talk about the affairs of the
nation. They have such a lot to talk about that _sometimes_ they have to
sit there all night, and bring sandwiches and things in their pockets to
eat, or they would starve. Ladies are invited to these meetings, and
sit up in the gallery to prevent the Liberals from quarrelling with the
Conservatives, because of course it would be very rude to quarrel before
ladies, wouldn’t it?”
“But what are Liberals and Conservatives, and what do they want to
quarrel for?” asked the Prince.
“Oh! I don’t know exactly,” said Boy; “but they take sides in
Parliament, you know, and one side wants to keep everything the same
as it has been for hundreds of years, and the other side wants to alter
everything--and they are always squabbling about this.”
“But why doesn’t the King stop it?” asked the Prince.
“Oh! our Kings and Queens never meddle with Politics; they only sign
things, and confer titles, and hold Drawing Rooms, and open Hospitals,
and Convalescent Homes, and Orphanages, and that sort of thing. They let
the Members of Parliament settle all the other matters themselves.
I’m afraid I haven’t made it very clear, but I must be off now, Your
Highness,” and after shaking hands with the Prince and Princess, Boy
hurried back to the Bandstand, where he found Pierrot and the rest of
the Troupe waiting for him in the Moon.
The Prince’s guests were all curiously crowding around them, and as they
started they gave a hearty cheer while the Moon rose slowly up into the
air and the Pierrot Troupe struck up a lively tune on their banjoes.
Before they had gone very far, however, Boy could see that the Busybody
Extraordinary and several of the other guests were hastily fastening on
their wings.
“Surely they are not going to try to fly up here!” he cried.
They were, though, and in a very few moments he could see that about
forty or fifty of the guests were flying rapidly towards them.
“Good gracious!” cried Boy, “they can never all get in here; we shall be
upset. Go back!” he shouted, leaning over the Moon, “go back!”
But nearer and nearer they flew, till presently the Lord High
Adjudicator’s head appeared at the side of the Moon, then the Advertiser
General, and immediately afterwards six or seven others were scrambling
over the side.
[Illustration: 0213]
“Pray be careful. You can’t possibly all get in,” cried Boy; “we shall
certainly be overbalanced;” but no one heeded him, and more and more
people came tumbling in till, just as Boy had feared, the Moon lurched
to one side, and then when they all rushed to the other, turned
completely upside down, and out they all tumbled. Boy screamed and shut
his eyes in his fright as he felt himself falling down and down and
down, till crash--bang!--crash! and Boy found himself struggling on
his back; he opened his eyes, and--would you believe it?--he was in
his little strange bed at Scarboro’, the sun was streaming through
the window and the servant was knocking at the door and saying, “Your
shaving water, sir,” for he had mistaken Boy’s room for his Uncle’s.
“Well, I can’t believe it has all been a dream,” he thought as he got up
and dressed himself. “I shall certainly ask Pierrot about it when I see
him on the sands.”
But when later on in the morning he did see Pierrot, that amusing
gentleman declared he had never been to Zum in his life, and asked Boy
_where it was_, which was such a puzzling question that Boy has never
been able to answer it to this day.
THE END.