If old Nick were to lose his tail, where should he go to supply the
deficiency?--To a gin-palace, because there they _re-tail_ bad spirits.
Mr. G., who has a very ugly wife, named Euphemia, was asked lately why his
spouse was the image of himself--and, to his great annoyance, discovered
that it was because she was his _Effie-G_[2].
[2] I could make better than the above myself. E.G.--In what way
should Her Majesty stand upon a Bill in Parliament so as to
quash it?--By putting her _V-toe_ (_veto_) on it.--PRINTER'S
DEVIL.
I floored Ben-beau D'Israeli the other day with the following:--"Ben,"
said I, "if I were going to buy a violin, what method should I take to get
it cheap?" Benjie looked rather more foolish than usual, and gave it up.
"Why, you ninny," I replied, "I should buy an ounce of castor-oil, and
then I would get a phial in (_violin_)." I think I had him there.
Why is a female of the canine species suckling her whelps like a
philosophic principle?--Because she is a dogma (_dog-ma_).
What part of a horse's foot is like an irate governor?--The pastern
(_pa-stern_).
Why is the march of a funeral procession like a turnpike?--Because it is a
toll-gait (_toll-gate_).
Who is the greatest literary _star_?--The _poet-aster_.
Why is an Israelite named William Solomons similar to a great public
festival?--Because he is a Jubilee (_Jew-Billy_).
Why are polished manners like a pea-jacket?--Because they are address (_a
dress_).
Why are swallows like a leap head-over-heels?--Because they are a summer
set (_a somerset_).
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