[Illustration: S]Sir Robert Peel and her Majesty's Ministers have, we
learn, taken a hint in criminal jurisprudence from his Worship the Mayor
of Reading, and are now preparing a bill for Parliament, which they trust
will be the means of checking the alarming desire for food which has begun
to spread amongst the poorer classes of society. The crime of eating has
latterly been indulged in to such an immoderate extent by the operatives
of Yorkshire and the other manufacturing districts, that we do not wonder
at our sagacious Premier adopting strong measures to suppress the
unnatural and increasing appetites of the people.
Taking up the sound judicial views of the great functionary above alluded
to, who committed Bernard Cavanagh, the fasting man, to prison for
smelling at a saveloy and a slice of ham, Sir Robert has laid down a
graduated--we mean a _sliding--scale_ of penalties for the crime of
eating, proportioning, with the most delicate skill, the exact amount of
the punishment to the enormity of the offence. By his profound wisdom he
has discovered that the great increase of crime in these countries is
entirely attributable to over-feeding the multitude. Like the worthy Mr.
Bumble, in "Oliver Twist," he protests "it is meat and not madness" that
ails the people. He can even trace the origin of every felony to the
particular kind of food in which the felon has indulged. He detects
incipient incendiarism in eggs and fried bacon--homicide in an Irish
stew--robbery and house-breaking in a basin of mutton-broth--and an
aggravated assault in a pork sausage. Upon this noble and statesmanlike
theory Sir Robert has based a bill which, when it becomes the law of the
land, will, we feel assured, tend effectually to keep the rebellious
stomachs of the people in a state of wholesome depletion. And as we now
punish those offenders who break the Queen's peace, we shall, in like
manner, then inflict the law upon the hungry scoundrels who dare to break
the Queen's Fast.
We have been enabled, through a private source, to obtain the following
authentic copy of Sir Robert's scale of the offences under the intended
Act, with the penalty attached to each, viz.:
For penny rolls or busters Imprisonment not exceeding a
week.
For bread of any kind, with Imprisonment for a month.
cheese or butter
For saveloys, German sausages, One month's imprisonment, with
and Black puddings hard labour.
For a slice of ham, bacon, or Imprisonment for three months,
meat of any kind and exercise on the treadmill.
For a hearty dinner on beef and Transportation for seven years.
pudding
For do. with a pot of home-brewed Transportation for life.
ale.
As these offences apply only to those who have no right to eat, the
wealthy and respectable portion of society need be under no apprehension
that they will be exposed to any inconvenience by the operation of the new
law.
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