"William," she said, with a glitter of her gold specs.
"Ma'am," said I.
"Those boys aren't getting proper CON-sideration," she said. "If
it was dogs," she said, "they couldn't be treated worse. William,
I'm going to see what one old woman can do."
"You ought to ask Captain Howard first," I said. "You don't belong
to the Army Medical Corps."
"It's them that let Benny die," she said, with her eyes snapping,
"and, as for asking, they'd say 'No,' for they don't allow any
women except at the base hospitals."
I knew this for a fack, but I'd rather she'd find it out from the
captain than from me. I didn't want to seem to make trouble for
her. So, while I was wondering what to do about it, she headed
right in, leaving me with the valise and the umberella, and a kind
of qualmy feeling that the old lady might strike a snag.
I didn't have no chance to come back till along sundown, but, my
stars! even in that time there had been a change. Benny's mother
had been getting in her deadly work, and the orderlies were
bursting mad, not that any of them dared say anything outright or
show it except in their faces, which were that long; for, you see,
the contract surgeon had taken her side, and had backed her up.
But they moved around like mules with their ears down, powerful
unwilling, and yet scared to say a word. The hospital had been
made a new place, with another tent up that had been laid away and
forgotten (you wouldn't think it possible, but it was), and the
sick and wounded had been sorted over and washed and made
comfortable; and, where before there was no room to turn around,
you could walk through wide lanes and wonder what had become of
the crowd. She had peeked into the cooking, too, and had found out
more things going wrong in five hours than the contract surgeon
had in five months. Blest if there wasn't a court-martial laying
for every one of the orderlies if they said "boo!" for the swine
had been making away scandalous with butter and chocolate and
beef--tea and canned table peaches and sparrow-grass and sardines,
and all the like of that, belly-robbing the boys right and left
perfectly awful.
It was a mighty good account of the contract surgeon that he took
it all so well, and was willing to admit how badly he had been
done. But he was a splendid young fellow, named Marcus, and what
the old lady said, went! He was right sorry he couldn't put her on
the strength of the battery, but the regulations kept women nurses
at the base-hospitals, and anyway (for we broke everything them
days, and there wasn't enough red-tape left to play cat-and-my-
cradle with) Captain Howard hated the sight of a petticoat, and
was dead set against women anywheres. I don't know what they had
ever done to him, but I'm just saying it for a fack. But, however
it was, Marcus said the old lady had to be kept out of sight, or
else the captain would surely send her to the rear under arrest.
Now, this made it a pretty hard game for the old lady to play, and
you can reckon how much dodging she had to do to keep out of the
captain's sight. It was hard about her sleeping, too, for she had
to do that where she could, not to speak of the pay she might have
drawn and didn't, and which, sakes alive! she earned twenty times
over. By and by everybody got onto it except the captain, but
there wasn't such a skunk in the battery as to tell him, partly
because of the joke, but, most of all, on account of the
convalescents, who naturally thought a heap of her. Then it got
whispered around that she was our mascot, and carried the luck of
the battery; and it was certainly RE-markable how it began to
change, getting fresh beef quite regular and maple syrup to burn,
and nine kegs of Navy pickles by mistake.
You would have thought she was too old to stand it, for we was
always on the move, and I have seen her sleeping on what was
nothing else but mud, with the rain coming down tremenjous. But
she was a tough old customer, and always came to time, outlasting
men that could have tossed her in the air, or run with her a block
and never taken breath. But, of course, it couldn't be kept up for
ever--I mean about the captain--and, sure enough, one day he
caught her riding on a gun-carriage, while he was passing along
the line on a Filipino pony.
"Good God!" he said, like that, reining in his horse and looking
at her campaign hat and the old gingham dress she wore. I wonder
she didn't correct him for his profanity, but I allow for once she
was scared stiff, and hadn't no answer ready. My! But she kind of
shrunk in and looked a million years old.
"Madam," said he, "do you belong to this column?"
"Unofficially, I do," she said, perking up a little.
"Might I inquire where you came from?" said he, doing the ironical
perlite.
"Oakland, California," said she.
"And is this your usual mode of locomotion?" said he. "Riding on a
gun?" said he. "Like the Goddess of War," said he. "Perching on
the belcherous cannon's back," said he.
The old lady, now as bold as brass, allowed that it was.
"Scandalous!" roared the captain. "Scandalous!"
The old lady always had a kind of nattified air, and even on a
gun-carriage she sported that look of dropping in on the
neighbours for a visit. She ran up her little parasol, settled her
feet, give a tilt to her specs, and looked the captain in the eye.
"Yes," she said, "I do belong to this column, and I guess it would
be a smaller column by a dozen, if it hadn't been for me in your
field-hospital. Or twenty," said she. "Or maybe more," said she.
This kind of staggered the captain. It was plain he didn't know
just what to do. We were hundreds of miles from anywheres, and
there were Aguinaldoes all around us. He was as good as married to
that old lady, for any means he had of getting rid of her. He
began to look quite old himself, as he stared and stared at the
mascot of Battery B, the cannon lumping along, and the old lady
bouncing up and down, as the wheels sank to the axles in the rutty
road.
"When we strike the railroad, home you go," said he.
"We'll see about that," said the old lady.
"It's disgraceful," said he. "Pigging with a whole battery," said
he. "Oh, the shame of it!" said he.
"Shoulder-straps don't always make a gentleman," said she.
"Holy Smoke!" said he, galloping off very fierce and grand on his
little horse, to haul Dr. Marcus over the coals. They say the
contract surgeon got it in the neck, but we were short-handed in
that department already, Dr. Fenelly having been killed in action,
so the captain could do nothing worse nor reprimand him. It was
bad enough as it was--for Marcus--for HE wasn't no old lady, and
the captain could let himself rip. And, I tell you, it was a
caution any time to be up against Captain Howard, for, though he
could be nice as pie and perlite to beat the band, it only needed
the occasion for him to unloose on you like a thirteen-inch gun.
Well, it was perfectly lovely what happened next, for, with all
her sassiness, the old lady felt pretty blue, and talked about
Benny for hours, like she always did when she was down-hearted;
and, by this time, you know, she had got to love Battery B, and
every boy in it; and it naturally went against her to think of
starting out all over again with strangers, and them maybe
Volunteers. So you can guess what her feelings was that night when
the captain went down with fever. It was like getting money from
home!
The captain had never been sick in his life, and he took it hard
to be laid by and keep off the flies, while another feller ran the
battery and jumped his place. I guess it came over him that he
wasn't the main guy after all, and that it wouldn't matter a hill
of beans whether he lived or quit. Them's one of the things you
learn in hospital, and the most are the better for it; but the
captain, you see, was getting his lesson a bit late. So he was
layed off, with amigos to carry him or bolo him (like what amigos
are when they get a chance), and the old lady give a whoop and
took him in charge. My! If she wasn't good to that man. and, as
for coals of fire, she regularly slung them at him! The doctor,
too, got his little axe in, and was everlastingly praising the old
lady, and telling the captain he would have been a goner, if it
hadn't been for her! And, when the captain grew better--which he
did after a few days--he was that meek he'd eat out of your hand.
The old lady was not only a champion nurse, but she was a buster
to cook. Give her a ham-bone and a box of matches and she could
turn out a French dinner of five courses, with oofs-sur-le-plate,
and veal-cutlets in paper pants! It was then, I reckon, she
settled the captain for good; and, when he picked up and was able
to walk about camp, leaning pretty heavy on her arm, she called
him "George" and "My boy"--like that--and you might have taken him
for Benny and she his Ma.
There was nothing too good for the old lady after that, and the
captain wouldn't hear of her living anywheres but at the officers'
mess, where she sat at his right hand, and always spoke first. The
Queen of England couldn't have been treated with more respeck, and
the captain put her on the strength of the battery, and she drew
back-pay from the day she first blew into camp. My, but it was
changed times! and you ought to have seen the way the old lady
cocked her head in the air and made a splendid black silk dress of
loot, which she wore every evening with the officers and rattled
all over with jet. But it didn't turn her head the least bit, like
for a time the boys feared it might, and she was twice as good to
us as she had been before. We had a pull at headquarters now, and
she had a heart that big that it could hold the officers and us,
too--and more in the draw.
The tide had turned her way when she needed it most, for, tough as
she was, she could not have long gone on like she had been. She
had worn down very thin, and was like a shadow of the old lady I
remembered in Oakland, California, and kind of sunk in around the
eyes, and I don't believe Benny would have known her, had he risen
from the grave; and, when anybody joked with her about it, and
said: "Take it easy, Ma'am, you owe it to the battery to be
keerful," she'd answer she had enlisted for the term of the war,
and looked to peg out the day peace was proclaimed.
"Then I'll be off to join Benny," she'd say, "and the rest of the
battery, in heaven!"
There was getting to be a good deal of a crowd up there--that is,
if the other place hadn't yanked them in--and some of the boys
found a lot of comfort in her way of thinking.
"A boy as dies for his country isn't going to be bothered about
passing in," she would say, with a click of her teeth and that
sure way of hers like she KNEW. And I, reckon perhaps she DID.
One afternoon she was suddenly taken very bad; and, instead of
better, she grew worse and worse, being tied to the bed and
raving; and the captain, who wouldn't hear of her being sent to
hospital, give up his own quarters to her and almost went crazy,
he was that frightened she was dying.
"It's just grit that's kep' her alive," I heard the doctor saying
to him.
"You must save her, Marcus," said the captain, holding to him,
like he was pleading with the doctor for her life. "You must save
her, Marcus. You must do everything in the world you can, Marcus."
The contract surgeon looked mighty glum. "She's like a ship that's
been burning up her fittings for lack of coal," said he. "There
ain't nothing left," he said. "Not a damn thing," said he, and then
he piled in a lot of medical words that seemed to settle the
matter.
As for the captain, he sat down and regularly cried. I'm sorry now
I said anything against the captain, for he was a splendid man,
and the pride of the battery. And, I tell you, he wasn't the only
one that cried neither, for the boys idolised the old lady, and
there wasn't no singing that night or cards or anything. I was on
picket, and it was a heavy heart I took with me into the dark;
and, when they left me laying in the grass, and nobody nearer nor
a hundred yards and that behind me, I felt mortal blue and
lonesome and homesick, and like I didn't care whether I was killed
or not. It was midnight when I went out,--mind, I say MIDNIGHT--
and I don't know what ailed me that night, for, after thinking of
the old lady and Benny and my own mother that was dead, and all
the rest of the boys that had marched out so fine and ended so
miserable--I couldn't keep the sleep away; and I'd go off and off,
though I tried my damnedest not to; and my eyes would shut in
spite of me and just glue together; and I would kind of drown,
drown, drown in sleep. If ever a man knew what he was doing, and
the risk, and what I owed to the boys, and me a Regular, and all
that--it was ME; yet--yet--And you must remember it had been a hard
day, and the guns had stuck again and again in the mud, and it was
pull, mule, pull, soldier, till you thought you'd drop in your
tracks. Oh, I am not excusing myself! I've seen men shot for
sleeping on guard, and I know it's right; and, even in my dreams,
I seemed to be reproaching myself and calling myself a stinker.
Then, just as I was no better nor a log, laying there with my head
on my arm, a coward and a traitor, and a black disgrace to the
uniform I wore, I suddenly waked up with somebody shaking me hard,
real rough, like that--and I jumped perfectly terrible to think it
might be the captain on his rounds. Oh, the relief when I saw it
was nothing else than the old lady, she kneeling beside me all
alone, and her specs shining in the starlight.
"William, William!" she said, sorrowful and warning, her voice
kind of strange, like she didn't want to say out loud that I had
been asleep at my post; and, as she drew away her hand, it touched
mine, and it was ice-cold. And, just as I was going to tell her to
lope back and be keerful of herself, the grass rustled in front of
me, and I saw, rising like a wall, rows on rows of Filipino heads!
My, but didn't I shoot and didn't I run, and the bugles rang out
and the whole line was rushed, me pelting in and the column
spitting fire along a length of three miles! We stood them off all
right, and my name was mentioned in orders, and I was promoted
sergeant, the brigadier shaking my hand and telling the boys I was
a pattern to go by and everything a Regular ought to be. But it
wasn't THAT I was going to tell. It was about the old lady, though
I didn't learn it till the next day.
She had died at a quarter of midnight, and had lain all night on
the captain's bed with a towel over her poor old face.
Now, what do you make of that?