II

In the years from nineteen to forty-two most men have fulfilled

their destiny; those who have had within them the ability to rise

have risen; the weak, the wastrels, the mediocrities have shaken

down into their appointed places. Even the bummer has his own

particular bit of wall in front of the saloon and his own

particular chair within. Those who have something to do are busy

doing it, whatever it may be. In the human comedy everyone in time

finds his role and must play it to the end, happy indeed if he be

cast in a part that at all suits him.

George Raymond at forty-two was still in the auditor's department

of the New York Central. Time had wrinkled his cheek, had turned

his brown hair to a crisp grey, had bowed his shoulders to the

desk he had used for twenty-two years. His eyes alone retained

their boyish brightness, and a sort of appealing look as of one

who his whole life long had been a dependent on other people. As

an automaton, a mere cog in a vast machine, he had won the praise

of his superiors by his complete self-effacement. He was never

ill, never absent, never had trouble with his subordinates, never

talked back, never made complaints, and, in the flattering

language of the superintendent, "he knew what he knew!"

In the office, as in every other aggregation of human beings,

there were coteries, cliques, friendships and hatreds, jealousies,

heart-burnings and vendettas. There was scarcely a man there

without friends or foes. Raymond alone had neither. To the others

he was a strange, silent, unknown creature whose very address was

a matter of conjecture; a man who did not drink, did not smoke,

did not talk; who ate four bananas for his lunch and invariably

carried a book in the pocket of his shabby coat. It was said of

him that once, during a terrible blizzard, he had been the only

clerk to reach the office; that he had worked there stark alone

until one o'clock, when at the stroke of the hour he had taken out

his four bananas and his book! There were other stories about him

of the same kind, not all of them true to fate, but essentially

true of the man's nature and of his rigid adherence to routine. He

had risen, place by place, to a position that gave him a hundred

and fifty dollars a month, and one so responsible that his death

or absence would have dislocated the office for half a day.

"A first-class man and an authority on pro ratas!"

Such might have been the inscription on George Raymond's tomb!

His mother was still alive. She had never entirely regained her

health or her strength, and it took all the little she had of

either to do the necessary housekeeping for herself and her son.

Thin to emaciation, sharp-tongued, a tyrant to her finger-tips,

her indomitable spirit remained as uncowed as ever and she ruled

her son with a rod of iron. To her, Georgie, as she always called

him, was still a child. As far as she was concerned he had never

grown up. She took his month's salary, told him when to buy new

shirts, ordered his clothes herself, doled out warningly the few

dollars for his necessaries, and saved, saved, continually saved.

The old woman dreaded poverty with a horror not to be expressed in

words. It had ruined her own life; it had crushed her son under

its merciless wheels; in the words of the proverb, she was the

coward who died a thousand deaths in the agonies of apprehension.

She was one of those not uncommon misers, who hoard, not for love

of money, but through fear. She had managed, with penurious thrift

and a self-denial almost sublime in its austerity, to set aside

eight thousand dollars. Eight thousand dollars from an income that

began at sixty and rose to a little under three times that amount!

Eight thousand dollars, wrung from their lives at the price of

every joy, every alleviation, everything that could make the world

barely tolerable.

Every summer Raymond had a two-weeks' holiday, which he spent at

Middleborough with some relatives of his father's. He had the

pronounced love of the sea that is usual with those born and bred

in seaport towns. His earliest memories went back to great deep-

water ships, their jib-booms poking into the second-story windows

of the city front, their decks hoarsely melodious with the yo-

heave-yo of straining seamen. The smell of tar, the sight of

enormous anchors impending above the narrow street, the lofty

masts piercing the sky in a tangle of ropes and blocks, the exotic

cargoes mountains high--all moved him like a poem. He knew no

pleasure like that of sailing his cousin's sloop; he loved every

plank of her dainty hull; it was to him a privilege to lay his

hand to any task appertaining to her, however humble or hard. To

calk, to paint, to polish brasswork; to pump out bilge; to set up

the rigging; to sit cross-legged and patch sails; and, best of

all, to put her lee rail under in a spanking breeze and race her

seaward against the mimic fleet--Ah, how swiftly those bright

days passed, how bitter was the parting and the return, all too

soon, to the dingy offices of the railroad.

It never occurred to him to think his own lot hard, or to contrast

himself with other men of his age, who at forty-two were mostly

substantial members of society, with interests, obligations,

responsibilities, to which he himself was an utter stranger. Under

the iron bondage of his mother he had remained a child. To

displease her seemed the worst thing that could befall him; to win

her commendation filled him with content. But there were times,

guiltily remembered and put by with shame, when he longed for

something more from life; when the sight of a beautiful woman on

the street reminded him of his own loneliness and isolation; when

he was overcome with a sudden surging sense that he was an

outsider in the midst of these teeming thousands, unloved and old,

without friends or hope or future to look forward to. He would

reproach himself for such lawless repining, for such disloyalty to

his mother. Was not her case worse than his? Did she not lecture

him on the duty of cheerfulness, she the invalid, racked with

pains, with nerves, who practised so pitifully what she preached?

The tears would come to his eyes. No, he would not ask the

impossible; he would go his way, brave and uncomplaining, and let

the empty years roll over his head without a murmur against fate.

But the years, apparently so void, were screening a strange and

undreamed-of part for him to play. The Spaniards, a vague, almost

legendary people, as remote from Raymond's life as the Assamese or

the cliff-dwellers of New Mexico, began to take on a concrete

character, and were suddenly discovered to be the enemies of the

human race. Raymond grew accustomed to the sight of Cuban flags,

at first so unfamiliar, and then, later, so touching in their

significance. Newspaper pictures of Gomez and Garcia were tacked

on the homely walls of barber-shops, in railroad shops, in grubby

offices and cargo elevators, and with them savage caricatures of a

person called Weyler, and referring bitterly to other persons (who

seemed in a bad way) called the reconcentrados. Raymond wondered

what it was all about; bought books to elucidate the matter; took

fire with indignation and resentment. Then came the Maine affair;

the suspense of seventy million people eager to avenge their dead;

the decision of the court of inquiry; the emergency vote; the

preparation for war. Raymond watched it all with a curious

detachment. He never realised that it could have anything

personally to do with him. The long days in the auditor's

department went on undisturbed for all that the country was arming

and the State governors were calling out their quotas of men. Two

of his associates quitted their desks and changed their black

coats for army blue. Raymond admired them; envied them; but it

never occurred to him to ask why they should go and he should

stay. It was natural for him to stay; it was inevitable; he was as

much a part of the office as the office floor.

One afternoon, going home on the Elevated, he overheard two men

talking.

"I don't know what we'll do," said one.

"Oh, there are lots of men," said the other.

"Men, yes--but no sailors," said the first.

"That's right," said the other.

"We are at our wits' end to man the new ships," said the first.

"What did you total up to-day?" said the other.

His companion shrugged his shoulders.

"Eighty applicants, and seven taken," he said.

"And those foreigners?"

"All but two!"

"There's danger in that kind of thing!"

"Yes, indeed, but what can you do?"

The words rang in Raymond's head. That night he hardly slept. He

was in the throes of making a tremendous resolution, he who, for

forty years, had been tied to his mother's apron string. Making it

of his own volition, unprompted, at the behest of no one save,

perhaps, the man in the car, asserting at last his manhood in

defiance of the subjection that had never come home to him until

that moment. He rose in the morning, pale and determined. He felt

a hypocrite through and through as his mother commented on his

looks and grew anxious as he pushed away his untasted breakfast.

It came over him afresh how good she was, how tender. He did not

love her less because his great purpose had been taken. He knew

how she would suffer, and the thought of it racked his heart; he

was tempted to take her into his confidence, but dared not,

distrusting his own powers of resistance were she to say no. So he

kissed her instead, with greater warmth than usual, and left the

house with misty eyes.

He got an extension of the noon hour and hurried down to the naval

recruiting office. It was doing a brisk business in turning away

applicants, and from the bottom of the line Raymond was not kept

waiting long before he attained the top; and from thence in his

turn was led into an inner office. He was briefly examined as to

his sea experience. Could he box the compass? He could. Could he

make a long splice? He could. What was meant by the monkey-gaff of

a full-rigged ship? He told them. What was his reason in wanting

to join the Navy? Because he thought he'd like to do something for

his country. Very good; turn him over to the doctor; next! Then

the doctor weighed him, looked at his teeth, hit him in the chest,

listened to his heart, thumped and questioned him, and then passed

him on to a third person to be enrolled.

When George Raymond emerged into the open air it was as a full A B

in the service of the United States

This announcement at the office made an extraordinary sensation.

Men he hardly knew shook hands with him and clapped him on the

back. He was taken upstairs to be impressively informed that his

position would be held open for him. On every side he saw kindling

faces, smiling glances of approbation, the quick passing of the

news in whispers. He had suddenly risen from obscurity to become

part of the War; the heir of a wonderful and possibly tragic

future; a patriot; a hero! It was a bewildering experience and not

without its charm. He was surprised to find himself still the same

man.

The scene at home was less enthusiastic. It was even mortifying,

and Georgie, as his mother invariably called him, had to endure a

storm of sarcasm and reproaches. The old woman's ardent patriotism

stopped short at giving up her son. It was the duty of others to

fight, Georgie's to stay at home with his mother. He let her talk

herself out, saying little, but regarding her with a grave, kind

obstinacy. Then she broke down, weeping and clinging to him.

Somehow, though he could hardly explain it to himself, the

relation between the two underwent a change. He left that house

the unquestioned master of himself, the acknowledged head of that

tiny household; he had won, and his victory instead of abating by

a hair's-breadth his mother's love for him had drawn the pair

closer to each other than ever before. Though she had no

articulate conception of it Georgie had risen enormously in his

mother's respect. The woman had given way to the man, and the

eternal fitness of things had been vindicated.

Her tenderness and devotion were redoubled. Never had there been

such a son in the history of the world. She relaxed her economies

in order to buy him little delicacies, such as sardines and

pickles; and when soon after his enlistment his uniform came home

she spread it on her bed and cried, and then sank on her knees,

passionately kissing the coarse serge. In the limitation of her

horizon she could see but a single figure. It was Georgie's

country, Georgie's President, Georgie's fleet, Georgie's righteous

quarrel in the cause of stifled freedom. To her, it was Georgie's

war with Spain.

He was drafted aboard the Dixie, where, within a week of his

joining, he was promoted to be one of the four quartermasters. So

much older than the majority of his comrades, quick, alert,

obedient, and responsible, he was naturally amongst the first

chosen for what are called leading seamen. Never was a man more in

his element than George Raymond. He shook down into naval life

like one born to it. The sea was in his blood, and his translation

from the auditor's department to the deck of a fighting ship

seemed to him like one of those happy dreams when one pinches

himself to try and confirm the impossible. Metaphorically

speaking, he was always pinching himself and contrasting the

monotonous past with the glorious and animated present. The change

told in his manner, in the tilt of his head, in his fearless eyes

and straighter back. It comes natural to heroes to protrude their

chests and walk upon air; and it is pardonable, indeed, in war

time, when each feels himself responsible for a fraction of his

country's honour.

"Georgie, you are positively becoming handsome," said his mother.

Amongst Raymond's comrades on the Dixie was a youngster of twenty-

one, named Howard Quintan. Something attracted him in the boy, and

he went out of his way to make things smooth for him aboard. The

liking was no less cordially returned, and the two became fast

friends. One day, when they were both given liberty together,

Howard insisted on taking him to his own home.

"The folks want to know you," he said. "They naturally think a

heap of you because I do, and I've told them how good you've been

and all that."

"Oh, rubbish!" said Raymond, though he was inwardly pleased. At

the time they were walking up Fifth Avenue, both in uniform, with

their caps on one side, sailor fashion, and their wide trousers

flapping about their ankles. People looked at them kindly as they

passed, for the shadow of the war lay on everyone and all hearts

went out to the men who were to uphold the flag. Raymond was

flattered and yet somewhat overcome by the attention his companion

and he excited.

"Let's get out of this, Quint," he said. "I can't walk straight

when people look at me like that. Don't you feel kind of givey-

givey at the knees with all those pretty girls loving us in

advance?"

"Oh, that's what I like!" said Quintan. "I never got a glance when

I used to sport a silk hat. Besides, here we are at the old

stand!"

Raymond regarded him with blank surprise as they turned aside and

up the steps of one of the houses.

"Land's sake!" he exclaimed; "you don't mean to say you live in a

place like this? Here?" he added, with an intonation that caused

Howard to burst out laughing.

The young fellow pushed by the footman that admitted them and ran

up the stairs three steps at a time. Raymond followed more slowly,

dazed by the splendour he saw about him, and feeling horribly

embarrassed and deserted. He halted on the stairs as he saw

Quintan throw his arms about a tall, stately, magnificently

dressed woman and kiss her boisterously; and he was in two minds

whether or not to slink down again and disappear, when his

companion called out to him to hurry up.

"Mother, this is Mr. Raymond," he said. "He's the best friend I

have on the Dixie, and you're to be awfully good to him!"

Mrs. Quintan graciously gave him her hand and said something about

his kindness to her boy. Raymond was too stricken to speak and was

thankful for the semi-darkness that hid his face. Mrs. Quintan

continued softly, in the same sweet and overpowering manner, to

purr her gratitude and try to put him at his ease. Raymond would

have been a happy man could he have sunk though the parquetry

floor. He trembled as he was led into the drawing-room, where

another gracious and overpowering creature rose to receive them.

"My aunt, Miss Christine Latimer," said Howard.

She was younger than Mrs. Quintan; a tall, fair woman of middle

age, with a fine figure, hair streaked with grey, and the remains

of what had once been extreme beauty. Her voice was the sweetest

Raymond had ever listened to, and his shyness and agitation wore

off as she began to speak to him. He was left a long while alone

with her, for Howard and his mother withdrew, excusing themselves

on the score of private matters. Christine Latimer was touched by

the forlorn quartermaster, who, in his nervousness, gripped his

chair with clenched hands and started when he was asked a

question. She soon got him past this stage of their acquaintance,

and, leading him on by gentle gradations to talk about himself,

even learned his whole story, and that in so unobtrusive a fashion

that he was hardly aware of his having told it to her.

"I am speaking to you as though I had known you all my life," he

said in an artless compliment. "I hope it is not very forward of

me. It is your fault for being so kind and good."

He was ecstatic when he left the house with Quintan.

"I didn't know there were such women in the world," he said. "So

noble, so winning and high-bred. It makes you understand history

to meet people like that. Mary Queen of Scots, Marie Antoinette

and all those, you know--they must have been like that. I--I could

understand a man dying for Miss Latimer!"

"Oh, she's all right, my aunt!" said Quintan. "She was a

tremendous beauty once, and even now she's what I'd call a

devilish handsome woman. And the grand manner, it isn't everybody

that likes it, but I do. It's a little old-fashioned nowadays,

but, by Jove, it still tells."

"I wonder that such a splendid woman should have remained

unmarried," said Raymond. He stuck an instant on the word

unmarried. It seemed almost common to apply to such a princess.

"She had an early love affair that turned out badly," said

Quintan. "I don't know what went wrong, but anyway it didn't work.

Then, when my father died, she came to live with us and help bring

us up--you see there are two more of us in the family--and I am

told she refused some good matches just on account of us kids. It

makes me feel guilty sometimes to think of it."

"Why guilty?" asked Raymond.

"Because none of us were worth it, old chap," said Quintan.

"I'm sure she never thought so," observed Raymond.

"My aunt's rather an unusual woman," said Quintan. "She has

voluntarily played second fiddle all her life; and, between you

and me, you know, my mother's a bit of a tyrant, and not always

easy to get along with--so it wasn't so simple a game as it looks."

Raymond was shocked at this way of putting the matter.

"You mean she sacrificed the best years of her life for you," he

said stiffly.

"Women are like that--good women," said Quintan. "Catch a man being

such a fool--looking at it generally, you know--me apart. She had

a tidy little fortune from her father, and might have had a yard

of her own to play in, but our little baby hands held her tight."

Raymond regarded his companion's hands. They were large and red,

and rough with the hard work on board the Dixie; regarded them

respectfully, almost with awe, for had they not restrained that

glorious being in the full tide of her youth and beauty!

"Now it's too late," said Quintan.

"What do you mean by too late?" asked the quartermaster.

"Well, she's passed forty," said Quintan. "The babies have grown

up, and the selfish beasts are striking out for themselves. Her

occupation's gone, and she's left plante la. Worse than that, my

mother, who never bothered two cents about us then, now loves us

to distraction. And, when all's said, you know, it's natural to

like your mother best!"

"Too bad!" ejaculated Raymond.

"I call it deuced hard luck," said Quintan. "My mother really

neglected us shamefully, and it was Aunt Christine who brought us

up and blew our noses and rubbed us with goose-grease when we had

croup, and all that kind of thing. Then, when we grew up, my

mother suddenly discovered her long-lost children and began to

think a heap of us--after having scamped the whole business for

fifteen years--and my aunt, who was the real nigger in the hedge,

got kind of let out, you see."

Raymond did not see, and he was indignant, besides, at the

coarseness of his companion's expressions. So he walked along and

said nothing.

"And, as I said before, it's now too late," said Quintan.

"Too late for what?" demanded Raymond, who was deeply interested.

"For her to take up with anybody else," said Quintan. "To marry,

you know. She sacrificed all her opportunities for us; and now, in

the inevitable course of things, we are kind of abandoning her

when she is old and faded and lonely."

"I consider your aunt one of the most beautiful women in the

world," protested Raymond.

"But you can't put back the clock, old fellow," said Quintan.

"What has the world to offer to an old maid of forty-two? There

she is in the empty nest, and not her own nest at that, with all

her little nestlings flying over the hills and far away, and the

genuine mother-bird varying the monotony by occasionally pecking

her eyes out."

Raymond did not know what to answer. He could not be so rude as to

make any reflection on Mrs. Quintan, though he was stirred with

resentment against her. This noble, angelic, saintly woman, who in

every gesture reminded him of dead queens and historic personages!

It went to his heart to think of her, bereft and lonely, in that

splendid house he had so lately quitted. He recognised, in the

unmistakable accord between him and her, the fellowship of a pair

who, in different ways and in different stations, had yet fought

and suffered and endured for what they judged their duty. Forty-

two years old! Singular coincidence, in itself almost a bond

between them, that he, too, was of an identical age. Forty-two!

Why, it was called the prime of life. He inhaled a deep breath of

air; it was the prime of life; until then no one had really begun

to live!

"Why don't you say something?" said Quintan.

"I was just thinking how mistaken you were," returned Raymond.

"There must be hundreds of men who would be proud to win her

slightest regard; who, instead of considering her faded or old,

would choose her out of a thousand of younger women and would be

happy for ever if she would take--" He was going to say them, but

that sounded improper, and he changed it, at the cost of grammar,

to "him."

Quintan laughed at his companion's vehemence, and the subject

passed and gave way to another about shrapnel. But he did not

fail, later on, to carry a humorous report of the conversation to

his aunt.

"What have you been doing to my old quartermaster?" he said.

"Hasn't the poor fellow enough troubles as it is, without falling

in love with you! He can't talk of anything else, and blushes like

a girl when he mentions your name. He told me yesterday he was

willing to die for a woman like you."

"I think he's a dear, nice fellow," said Miss Latimer, "and if he

wants to love me he can. It will keep him out of mischief!"

Raymond saw a great deal of Miss Latimer in the month before they

sailed south. Quintan took him constantly to the house, where, in

his capacity of humble and devoted comrade, the tall quartermaster

was always welcome and made much of. Mrs. Quintan was alive to the

value of this attached follower, who might be trusted to guard her

son in the perils that lay before him. She treated him as a sort

of combination of valet, nurse, and poor relation, asking him all

sorts of intimate questions about Howard's socks and

underclothing, and holding him altogether responsible for the

boy's welfare. Her tone was one of anxious patronage, touching at

times on a deeper emotion when she often broke down and cried. The

quartermaster was greatly moved by her trust in him. The tears

would come to his own eyes, and he would try in his clumsy way to

comfort her, promising that, so far as it lay with him, Howard

should return safe and sound. In his self-abnegation it never

occurred to him that his own life was as valuable as Howard

Quintan's. He acquiesced in the understanding that it was his

business to get Howard through the war unscratched, at whatever

risk or jeopardy to himself.

Those were wonderful days for him. To be an intimate of that

splendid household, to drive behind spanking bays with Miss

Latimer by his side, to take tea at the Waldorf with her and other

semi-divine beings--what a dazzling experience for the ex-clerk,

whose lines so recently had lain in such different places.

Innately a gentleman, he bore himself with dignity in this new

position, with a fine simplicity and self-effacement that was not

lost on some of his friends. His respect for them all was

unbounded. For the mother, so majestic, so awe-inspiring; for

Howard, that handsome boy whose exuberant Americanism was

untouched by any feeling of caste; for Melton and Hubert Henry,

his brothers, those lordly striplings of a lordly race; for Miss

Latimer, who in his heart of hearts he dared not call Christine,

and who to him was the embodiment of everything adorable in women.

Yes, he loved her; confessed to himself that he loved her; humbly

and without hope, with no anticipation of anything more between

them, overcome indeed that his presumption should go thus far.

He did not attempt to hide his feelings for her, and though too

shy for any expression of it, and withheld besides by the utter

impossibility of such a suit, he betrayed himself to her in a

thousand artless ways. He asked for no higher happiness than to

sit by her side, looking into her face and listening to her mellow

voice. He was thrice happy were he privileged to touch her hand in

passing a teacup. Her gentleness and courtesy, her evident

consideration, the little peeps she gave him into a nature

gracious and refined beyond anything he had ever known, all

transported him with unreasoning delight. She, on her part, so

accustomed to play a minor role herself in her sister's

household, was yet too much a woman not to like an admirer of her

own. She took more pains with her dress, looked at herself more

often in the glass than she had done in years. It was laughable;

it was absurd; and she joined as readily as anyone in the mirth

that Raymond's devotion excited in the family, but, deep down

within her, she was pleased. At the least it showed she had not

grown too old to make men love her; it was the vindication of the

mounting years; the time, then, had not yet come when she had

ceased altogether to count. She had lost her nephews, who were

growing to be men; the love she put by so readily when it was in

her reach seemed now more precious as she beheld her faded and

diminished beauty, the crow's-feet about her eyes, her hair

turning from brown to grey. A smothered voice within her said:

"Why not?"

She analysed Raymond narrowly in the long tete-a-tetes they had

together. She drew him out, encouraging and pressing him to tell

her everything about himself. She was always apprehending a

jarring note, the inevitable sign of the man's coarser clay, of

his commoner upbringing, the clash of his caste on hers. But she

was struck instead by his inherent refinement, by his unformulated

instincts of well-doing and honour. He was hazy about the use of

oyster-forks, had never seen a finger-bowl, committed to her eyes

a dozen little solecisms which he hastened to correct by frankly

asking her assistance; but in the true essentials she never had to

feel any shame for him. Clumsy, grotesquely ignorant of the social

amenities, he was yet a gentleman.

The night before they were to sail, he came to say good-bye. The

war had at last begun in earnest; men were falling, and the

Spaniards were expected to make a desperate and bloody resistance.

It was a sobering moment for everyone, and, in all voices, however

hard they tried to make them brave and gay, there ran an

undercurrent of solemnity. Howard and Raymond were to be actors in

that terrible drama not yet played; stripped and powder-blackened

at their guns, they were perhaps doomed to go down with their ship

and find their graves in the Caribbean. Before them lay untold

possibilities of wounds and mutilation, of disease, suffering, and

horror. What woman that knew them could look on unmoved at the

sight of these men, so grave and earnest, so quietly resolute, so

deprecatory of anything like braggadocio or over-confidence? It

filled Christine Latimer with a fierce pride in herself and them;

in a race that could breed men so gentle and so brave; in a

country that was founded so surely on the devoted hearts of its

citizens.

She was crying as Raymond came to her later on the same evening,

and found her sitting in the far end of the drawing-room with the

lights turned low. They were alone together, for the quartermaster

had left Howard with his mother and his brothers gathered in a

farewell group about the library fire. Miss Latimer took both of

Raymond's hands, and, with no attempt to disguise her sorrow, drew

him close beside her on the divan. She was overflowing with pity

for this poor fellow, whose life had been so hard, in which until

now there had neither been love nor friends, whose only human tie

was to his mother and to her. Had he known it, he might have put

his arms about her and kissed her tear-swollen eyes and drawn her

head against his breast. She was filled with a pent-up tenderness

for him; a word, and she would have discovered what was until then

inarticulate in her bosom. But the tall quartermaster was withheld

from such incredible presumption. Her beautiful gown against his

common serge typified, as it were, the gulf between them. Her

distress, her agitation, were in his mind due to her concern for

Howard Quintan; and he told her again and again, with manly

sincerity, that he would take good care of her boy.

She knew he loved her. It had been plain to her for weeks past.

She knew every thought in his head as he sat there beside her,

thrilled with the touch of her hands, and in the throes of a

respectful rapture. Again and again the avowal was on his lips; he

longed to tell her how dear she was to him; it would be hard to

die with that unsaid, were he to be amongst those who never

returned. It never occurred to him that she might return his love.

A woman like her! A queen!

She could easily have helped him out. More than once she was on

the point of doing so. But the woman in her rebelled at the

thought of taking what was the man's place. She had something of

the exaggerated delicacy of an old maid. It was for him to ask,

for her to answer; and the precious moments slipped away. At last,

greatly daring, he managed to blurt out the fact that he wanted to

ask a favour.

"A favour?" she said.

"Won't you give me something," he said timidly, "some little thing

to take with me to remember you by?"

She replied she would with pleasure. She wanted him to remember

her. What was it that he would like?

"There is nothing I could refuse you," she said, smiling.

Raymond was overcome with embarrassment. She saw him looking at

her hair; her hair which was her greatest beauty, and which when

undone was luxuriant enough to reach below her waist. He had often

expressed his admiration for it.

"What would you like?" she asked again.

"Oh, anything," he faltered. "A--a book!"

She could not restrain her laughter. A book! She laughed and

laughed. She seemed carried away by an extraordinary merriment.

Raymond thought he had never heard a woman laugh like that before.

It made him feel very badly. He wondered what it was that had made

his request so ridiculous. He thanked his stars that he had held

his tongue about the other thing. Ah, what a fool he had been! He

could not have borne it, had the other been received with the same

derision.

"I shall give you my prayer-book," she said at last, wiping her

eyes and looking less amused than he had expected. "I've had it

many years and value it dearly. It is prettily bound in Russia,

and if you carry it on the proper place romance will see that it

stops a bullet--though a Bible, I believe, is the more correct."

Somehow her tone sounded less cordial. She had withdrawn her

hands, and her humour, at such a moment, jarred on him. In spite

of his good resolutions he had managed to put his foot into it

after all. Perhaps she had begun to suspect his secret and was

displeased. He departed feeling utterly wretched and out of heart,

and got very scant comfort from his book, for it only reminded him

of how seriously he had compromised himself. He was in two minds

whether or not to send it back, but decided not to do so in fear

lest he might give fresh offence. The next day at dawn the Dixie

sailed for the scene of war.

Love, the Fiddler · 第 25 / 29 题