The Police Force are a noble lot,
They clear our streets and squares;
To Demonstrators give it hot,
And banish civic scares.
But there's one thing I wish to know;
Why do the public grin
When one Commissioner will go,
And t'other won't stop in?
_Chorus._
Why _did_ MONRO resign?
Ask a P'liceman!
Was it any fault of mine?
Ask a P'liceman!
Every member of the Force
Backs the popular Boss--of course!
If you want to know the truth,
Ask a P'liceman!
I'm very sure I'm always right,
And yet it's vastly queer,
My Secretary's aid they slight,
My Pension-projects jeer.
My Superannuation plan
Won't wash--at Scotland Yard.
They seem against me to a man.
It's really very hard.
_Chorus._
If you'd know why WARREN went,
Ask a P'liceman!
Or why MONRO'S not content,
Ask a P'liceman!
Isn't it enough to vex
The most genial of Home-Secs.?
If you want an answer--plump,
Ask a P'liceman!
I'm getting quite unpopular;
I can't imagine why.
If in the Force itself there's war,
'Gainst _me_ there'll be a cry.
Fancy our Constables on strike
For Eight Hours, and the rest!
The prospect's one I do not like.
P'licemen, _don't_ be a pest!
_Chorus (in which_ Mr. M-T-TH-WS
_does not join_.)
If you want to know the facts,
Ask a P'liceman!
About M-TTH-WS and his acts,
Ask a P'liceman!
If you wish the truth to know
About popular MONRO,
And who _next_ ought to resign,
Ask a P'liceman!!!
* * * * *
[Illustration: A NASTY ONE.
_Miss Smith (to Brown, who has just been relating an amusing personal
experience)._ "HOW GOOD! AND DID IT REALLY HAPPEN TO YOU?"
_Brown._ "YES, _REALLY_--ONLY YESTERDAY!"
_Jones (his hated rival)._ "AH! BUT I CAN TELL YOU A STILL OLDER STORY
THAN THAT, ABOUT A FELLOW WHO----" [_Tells a regular Joe Miller._
]
* * * * *