HAPPINESS NOT JUSTICE.
Hinton left Mr. Harman's house in a very perplexed frame of mind. It
seemed to him that in that one short day as much had happened to him as
in all the course of his previous life, but the very force of the
thoughts, the emotions, the hopes, the fears, which had visited him,
made him, strong, young and vigorous as he was, so utterly weary, that
when he reached his rooms he felt that he must let tired-out nature have
its way--he threw himself on his bed and slept the sleep of the young
and healthy until the morning.
It was February weather, February unusually mild and genial, and the pet
day of yesterday was followed by another as soft and sweet and mild.
When Hinton awoke from his refreshing slumbers, the day was so well and
thoroughly risen that a gleam of sunshine lay across his bed. He started
up to discover a corresponding glow in his heart. What was causing this
glow? In a moment he remembered, and the gleam of heart sunshine grew
brighter with the knowledge. The fact was, happiness was standing by the
young man's side, holding out two radiant hands, and saying, "Take me,
take me to your heart of hearts, for I have come to dwell with you."
Hinton rose, dressed hastily, and went into his sitting-room. All the
gloom which had so oppressed him yesterday had vanished. He could not
resist the outward sunshine, nor the heart-glow which had come to him.
He stepped lightly, and whistled some gay airs. He ate his breakfast
with appetite, then threw himself into an easy-chair which stood near
the window; he need not go to his chambers for at least an hour, he
might give himself this time to think.
Again happiness stepped up close and showed her beautiful face. Should
he take her; should he receive the rare and lovely thing and shut out
that stern sense of justice, of relieving the oppressed, of seeing the
wronged righted, which had been as his sheet-anchor yesterday, which had
been more or less the sheet-anchor of his life. Here was his position.
He was engaged to marry Charlotte Harman; he loved her with his whole
heart; she loved him with her whole heart; she was a beautiful woman, a
noble woman, a wealthy woman. With her as his wife, love, riches, power
might all be his. What more could the warm, warm feelings of youth
desire? what more could the ambitions of youth aspire to? Yesterday, it
is true, he had felt some rising of that noble pride which scorns to
receive so much and give so little. He had formed a wild, almost
passionate determination to obtain his brief before he obtained his
bride, but Mr. Harman had soothed that pride to sleep. There was indeed
a grave and sad reason why this beautiful and innocent woman whom he had
won should receive all the full comfort his love and protection could
give her as quickly as possible. Her father was dying, and she must not
know of his approaching death. Her father wished to see her Hinton's
wife as soon as possible. Hinton felt that this was reasonable, this was
fair; for the sake of no pride, true or false, no hoped-for brief, could
he any longer put off their wedding. Nay, far from this. Last night he
had urged its being completed two months sooner than Charlotte herself
had proposed. He saw by the brightness in Charlotte's eyes that, though
she did not at once agree to this, her love for him was such that she
would marry him in a week if he so willed it. He rejoiced in these
symptoms of her great love, and the rejoicings of last night had risen
in a fuller tide this morning. Yes, it was the rule of life, the one
everlasting law, the old must suffer and die, the young must live and
rejoice. Yes; Hinton felt very deep sympathy for Mr. Harman last night,
but this morning, his happiness making him more self-absorbed than
really selfish, he knew that the old man's dying and suffering state
could not take one iota from his present delight.
What then perplexed him? What made him stand aloof from the radiant
guest, Happiness, for a brief half hour? That story of Charlotte's; it
would come back to him; he wished now he had never heard it. For having
heard he could not forget: he could not exorcise this grim Thing which
stood side by side with Happiness in his sunny room. The fact was, his
acute mind took in the true bearings of the case far more clearly than
Charlotte had done. He felt sure that Mrs. Home had been wronged. He
felt equally sure that, if he looked into the case, it lay in his power
to right her. Over and over he saw her pale, sad face, and he hoped it
was not going to haunt him. The tale in his mind lay all in Mrs. Home's
favor, all against John and Jasper Harman. Was it likely that their
wealthy father would do anything so monstrously unjust as to leave all
his money to his two eldest sons with whom he had previously quarrelled,
and nothing, nothing at all to his young wife and infant daughter? It
would be a meaningless piece of injustice, unlike all that he had
gleaned of the previous character of the old man. As to John and Jasper,
and their conduct in the affair, that too was difficult to fathom.
Jasper had spent the greater portion of his life in Australia. Of his
character Hinton knew little; that little he felt was repugnant to him.
But John Harman--no man in the City bore a higher character for
uprightness, for integrity, for honor. John Harman was respected and
loved by all who knew him.
Yes, yes: Hinton felt that all this was possible, but also he knew that
never in their close intercourse had he been able to fathom John Harman.
A shadow rested over the wealthy and prosperous merchant. Never until
now had Hinton even approached the cause; but now, now it seemed to him
that he was grappling with the impenetrable mystery, that face to face
he was looking at the long and successfully hidden sin. Strong man as he
was, he trembled as this fear came over him. Whatever the cause,
whatever the sudden and swift temptation, he felt an ever-growing
conviction that long ago John and Jasper Harman had robbed the widow and
fatherless. Feeling this, being almost sure of this, how then should he
act? He knew very well what he could do. He could go to Somerset House
and see the will of old Mr. Harman. It was very unlikely that a forged
will had been attempted. It was, he felt sure, far, far more probable
that the real will was left untampered with, that the deed of injustice
had been done in the hope that no one who knew anything about such
matters would ever inquire into it.
Hinton could go that very day and set his mind at rest. Why then did he
hesitate? Ah! he knew but too well. Never and nearer came that shining
form of Happiness. If he did this thing, and found his suspicions
correct, as he feared much he should, if he then acted upon this
knowledge and gave Mrs. Home her own again, happiness would fly from
him, it might be for ever. To give Mrs. Home her rights he must cruelly
expose a dying old man. Such a shock, coming now, would most probably
kill John Harman. After bringing her father to such shame and dishonor,
would Charlotte ever consent to be his wife? would she not indeed in
very horror fly from his presence? What was Mrs. Home to him, that he
should ruin his whole life for her sake, that he should give up wife,
wealth, and fame? Nothing--a complete stranger. Why should he, for her
sake, pain and make miserable those he loved, above all break the heart
of the woman who was more precious to him than all the rest of the
world? He felt he could not do this thing. He must take that bright
winged happiness and let justice have her day when she could. Some other
hand must inflict the blow, it could not be his hand. He was sorry now
that he had taken Mrs. Home's lodgings. But after all what did it
signify? He had taken them for a month, he could go there for that short
period. His quickly approaching marriage would make it necessary for him
to leave very soon after, and he would try amongst his many friends to
find her a more permanent tenant, for though he had now quite made up
his mind to let matters alone, his heart ached for this woman. Yes, he
would, if possible, help her in little ways, though it would be
impossible for his hand to be the one to give her her own again. Having
come to this determination he went out.