Salt Lake lays in a rich valley at the foot of a range of snow-capped
mountains that tower up 'round it, seemin' to the saints, I spoze, as
if they wuz heavenly ramparts to protect 'em from evil; and lookin' to
them that despise the saints' ways and customs, as if the very earth
itself was liftin' up its high hands in horrow at their deeds. But to
me, hanted as I wuz by a memory, the mountains looked some like old
men with white hair; as his would be when he got older if he wuzn't
bald. I knew that I ort not to think on it, but it would come onbid.
It is a beautiful city with electric lights, electric railways, broad
streets lined with lofty trees, and little rivulets of pure cold
snow-water runnin' along the side of 'em. The houses are clean and
comfortable looking, with well-kep' lawns and gardens about 'em and
flowering shrubs. The temple is a magnificent building; it towers up
to heaven, as if it wuz jest as sure of bein' right as our Methodist
Episcopal steeple at Jonesville. Though we know that the M. E.
steeple, though smaller in size, is pintin' the right way and will be
found out so on that day that tries souls and steeples and everything
else.
The old Bee Hive (where the swarm of Mormons first hived and made gall
or honey--or mebby both)--is also an interestin' sight to meditate on.
It is shaped a good deal like one of them round straw bee hives you
see in old Sabbath School books. The bride and groom went to their own
home to live, on whom we called, or Tommy and I did, and left 'em well
situated and happy; and I told him, sez I: "If you 'tend strict to the
eighth commandment, you'll git along first rate."
And he said that he felt he could rise to any height of goodness with
Baby's help. And she scoffed at the idee of pa ever payin' any
attention to any other woman but her, when he worshipped her so.
Well, so other men have felt and got led off, but I won't forebode.
But I left 'em happy in their own cozy home, which I wuz glad to think
I could describe to Phileman and Ann if I ever see that blessed haven,
Jonesville, agin.
We went out to visit the Mineral Springs. It only took us about ten
minutes on the train, and it only took us about half an hour to go to
Garfield Beach. It is the only sand beach on Salt Lake, and some say
it is the finest beach in the world, and they say that the sunsets
viewed from this spot are so heavenly bright in their glowin' colors
that no pen or tongue can describe 'em. The blue-green waves wuz
dancin' as we stood on the shore, and we wuz told that if we fell in,
the water would hold us up, but didn't try it, bein' in sunthin' of a
hurry.
At Miss Meechim's strong request we went on a pleasant trip to York
City through the valley of the River of Jordan. How good that name
sounded to me! How much like scripter! But, alas! it made me think of
one who had so often sung with me on the way home from evenin'
meetin', as the full moon gilded the top of the democrat, and the
surroundin' landscape:
"By Jordan's stormy banks we stand
And cast a wistful eye
On Canaan's fair and happy land,
Where my possessions lie."
Oh, human love and longing, how strong thou art! I knowed that him
meant the things of the sperit, but my human heart translated it, and
I sithed and felt that the Jordan my soul wuz passin' through wuz
indeed a hard pathway, and I couldn't help castin' a wishful eye on
Jonesville's fair and happy land, where my earthly possession, my
Josiah, lay.
But to resoom. We had hearn that Polygamy wuz still practised there,
and we had hearn that it wuzn't. But every doubt on that subject wuz
laid to rest by an invitation we all had to go and visit a Mormon
family livin' not fur off, and Miss Meechim and I went, she not
wantin' Dorothy to hear a word on the subject. She said with reason,
that after all her anxiety and labors to keep her from marryin' one
man, what would be her feelin's to have her visit a man who had boldly
wedded 'leven wives and might want a even dozen!
I could see it to once, so didn't urge the matter, but left Tommy with
her and Aronette. As nigh as I could make out, the Mormons had felt
that Miss Meechim and I wuz high in authority in Gentile climes, one
on us had that air of nobility and command that is always associated
with high authority, and they felt that one on us could do their cause
much good if they could impress us favorable with the custom, so they
put their best twenty-four feet forward and did their level best to
show off their doctrine in flyin' colors. But they didn't do any good
to "one on us," nor to Miss Meechim, either; she's sound in doctrine,
though kinder weak and disagreeable in spots.
Well, we found that this family lived in splendid style, and the
husband and all his pardners acted happy whether they wuz or not. And
I d'no how or why it wuz, but when we all sot down in their large cool
parlor, Miss Meechim and I in our luxurious easy chairs, and our host
in one opposite with his wife occupyin' 'leven chairs at his sides, a
feelin' of pity swep' over me--pity for that man.
Yes, as I looked at that one lonely man, small boneded at that, and
then looked at them 'leven portly wimmen that called that man "our
husband," I pitied him like a dog. I had never thought of pityin'
Mormon men before, but had poured out all my pity and sympathy onto
the female Mormons. But havin' a mind like a oxes for strength, I
begun to see matters in a new light, and I begun to spozen to myself,
even whilst I sot there with my tongue keepin' up a light dialogue on
the weather, the country, etc., with the man and his wife ('leven on
'em). I spozed what if they should all git mad at him at one time how
wuz he goin' to bear their 'leven rages flashin' from twenty-two eyes,
snortin' from 'leven upturned noses, fallin' from 'leven angry voices,
and the angry jesters from twenty-two scornful hands. Spozein' they
all got to weepin' on his shoulder at one time how could one shoulder
blade stand it under the united weight of 'leven full-sized females,
most two ton of 'em, amidst more'n forty-four nervous sobs, for they
would naterally gin more'n two apiece. In sickness now, if they wanted
to soothe his achin' brow, and of course they would all want to, and
have the right to. But how could twenty-two hands rest on that one
small fore-top? Sixty-six rubs at the least figger, for if they
stroked his forehead at all they would want to stroke it three times
apiece, poor creeter! would not delerium ensue instead of sooth? And
spozein' they all took it into their heads to hang on his arm with
both arms fondly whilst out walkin' by moonlight, how could twenty-two
arms be accommodated by two small scrawny elbows?
It couldn't be done. And as I mused on't I spoke right out onbeknown
to me, and sez I:
"The Lord never meant it to be so; it hain't reasonable; it's aginst
common sense."
And the hull twelve sez, "What didn't the Lord mean? What wuz aginst
common sense?"
And bein' ketched at it, I sez, "The Mormon doctrine;" sez I, "to say
nothin' on moral and spiritual grounds, and state rights, it's against
reason and good sense."
I felt mortified to think I had spoke out loud, but had to stand my
ground after I had said it.
But they all said that the Mormon doctrine wuz the true belief, that
it wuz writ in heaven, then it wuz engraved on plates, and dug up by
Joe Smith, a Latter Day Saint.
Sez I, "If anybody trys to prove sunthin' they want to, they can most
always dig up sunthin' to prove it. You say a man dug this plate up;
what if some woman should go to diggin' and find a plate provin' that
one woman ort to have 'leven husbands?"
"Oh, no!" sez the man in deep scorn, "no such plate could be found!"
The wimmen all looked as if they would kinder like to see such dishes,
but they all sez faintly, "We don't spoze that it could be found."
"But," I sez, "you don't know how many plates there are in the ground,
nor who'll dig 'em up."
"Oh, that idee is preposterous!" sez the man, as visions of dividin'
one woman's heart into eleven parts and reignin' over that little
mossel riz up before him. "Men never would agree to that; there would
be mutiny, internal bloodshed and sizm."
"Well," sez I, "mebby there is more or less internal heart bleedin'
goin' on in the wimmen's hearts that have to divide a man's love and
care a dozen times." Sez I, "A hull man's hull affections are onstiddy
and wobblin' and oncertain enough without dividin' it up so many
times."
Them wimmen wuz touched. I see a answerin' gleam of understandin' come
into about twenty-one eyes as I spoke; one on 'em stood firm and
looked hauty and cast iron, but I mistrusted it wuz a glass eye, but
don't know, it might have been principle.
And even on the man's small-sized countenance my words had seemed to
make a impression. But yet he didn't want to give up in a minute; he
spoke of how the Mormons had flourished since they come to Utah, how
they had turned the desert into a garden, and he felt that the Lord
must look on 'em favorable or they wouldn't be so prosperous.
"Yes," sez I, not wantin' to lie, "your country is beautiful, it is in
a flourishing state, and shows the good results of systematic labor,
industry and ambition; you have made the desert bloom like the rosy,
many of your ways and customs might be follered with profit by older
communities, and more orthodox accordin' to my idees. But I don't know
as your flourishin' in worldly affairs is any sign of God's favor,"
and I mentioned the scripter concernin' who it wuz that flourished
like the green bayberry tree. So bein' driv out of that argument, he
sez, forgittin' his own eleven proofs aginst his story bein' true:
"Polygamy is done away with anyway; the United States have abolished
it in Utah."
And I sez: "Well, I should be glad to think that wuz so, for one
husband and one wife is as much as the Lord in his mercy ort to ask
one human creeter to tend to and put up with. Not but what marriage is
a beautiful institution and full of happiness if Love props it up and
gilds it with its blessed ray. But one is enough," sez I firmly, "and
enough is as good as a feast."
Miss Meechim sot silently by durin' this eloquent discussion--what she
felt, she that abhorred the institution of marriage anyway--what she
felt to look on and see folks so much married as these wuz, will
forever remain a secret, but her looks wuz queer, very, and her nose
fairly sought the heavens, it wuz held so high. A few of the wives
brought in some refreshments to refresh us, and a few more waited on
us and the small husband of their eleven hearts, and almost
immegiately we tore ourselves away, takin' in ourn as we left, the
hand of the husband and the eleven right hands of the wife.
That evenin' I wuz told I wuz wanted in the parlor, and as I entered
quite a good lookin' Mormon man got up and advanced and broke out to
once askin' my help. He said he'd read in the paper that I wuz there
to that tarven, and knowin' I stood so high with the public he had
ventered to ask my help. He had political yearnin's and wanted to set
in the Senate, but as I stood firm as iron again that idee his
linement grew almost frenzied, and sez he:
"Do help me, do use your influence with your President. He's afraid
of race suicide; tell him I'm the father of forty-seven children--will
not that touch his heart?"
"Not a mite!" sez I, "his heart is as true as steel to his one wife
and six children. It is a good manly heart that can't be led off by
any such brazen statements."
His linement looked lurid and half demented as he sez, "Mebby some
high church dignitaries would help me. Or no," sez he, "go to the head
of it all, go to the Liquor Power--that's the place to go to, that
rules Church and State, that makes the laws. Oh, do go to the Liquor
Power, and git it to let me set. I'll pay their usual price for makin'
personal laws in a man's favor."
The cold glare in my gray eye froze the words on his lip. "You ask me
to go to the Liquor Power for help! Do you know who you're speakin'
to?"
"Yes," sez he feebly, "I'm speakin' to Josiah Allen's wife, and I want
to set."
His axent wuz heartbroken and I fancied that there wuz a little tone
of repentance in it. Could I influence him for the right? Could I
frighten him into the right path? I felt I must try, and I sez in a
low, deep voice:
"I'll help you to set if you'll set where I want you to."
"Oh, tell me! tell me," sez he, "where you want me to set."
"Not in the high halls where justice is administered, not up there
with the pictures of your numerous wives on your heart to make laws
condemnin' a man who has only one extra wife to prison for twenty
years, which same law would condemn you to prison for 'most a century.
That wouldn't be reasonable. Presidents and senators are sot up there
in Washington D. C. as examplers for the young to foller and stimulate
'em to go and do likewise. Such a example as yourn would stimulate 'em
too much in matrimonial directions and land 'em in prison."
He muttered sunthin' about lots of public men havin' other wives in
secret.
"In secret?" sez I. "Well, mebby so, but it has to be in secret, hid
away, wropped in disgrace, and if the law discovers it they are
punished. That's a very different thing from makin' such a life
respectable, coverin' 'em under the mantilly of the law, embroidered
too with public honors."
He turned away despairin'ly and murmured mekanically the old
heart-broken wail, "I want to set."
And I sez reasonably, "There is no objection to your settin' down, and
if I had my way you would set right by them who have done only half or
a quarter what you have and in the place the laws have made for them
and you."
He turned quick as a wink, "Then you won't help me?"
"Yes," sez I, "I'll help all I can to put you right in with the others
that have done jest what you have--openly set our laws at defiance.
But if I know myself I won't help a tiger cat to hold a canary bird or
a wolf to guard a sheep pen. I won't help a felon up on the seat of
justice to make laws for innocent men."
"Innocent men!" And agin he sez, "Ha! ha!"
And agin I didn't care what he said. And I got up and sez, "You may as
well leave the presence." And as he turned I sez in conclusion,
thinkin' mebby I'd been too hash, "I dare say you have intellect and
may be a good man so fur as I know only in this one iniquity and open
defiance of our laws, and I advise you to turn right round in your
tracks and git ready to set down on high, for you'll find it a much
worse thing to prance round through all eternity without settin' than
it is to not set here."
He jest marched out of the door and didn't say good bye or good day or
anything. But I didn't care. I knowed the minute his card wuz handed
to me jest how many wives he had and how he wuz doin' all he could to
uphold what he called his religion, but I did hope I'd done him some
good but felt dubersome about it. But knowin' I'd clung to Duty's
apron strings I felt like leavin' the event. And when Miss Meechim
come in I wuz settin' calm and serene in a big chair windin' some
clouded blue and white yarn, Aronette holdin' the skein. I'd brung
along a lot of woollen yarn to knit Josiah some socks on the way, to
make me feel more homelike.
And the next day we proceeded on to California.