Make speeches which reduced to tears
The crowds of buyers who bargains sought
But didn’t need the goods they bought.
[Illustration]
They took a turn with a wheeling chair
Of double size, to fit a bear,
With TEDDY-B, the lazy kind,
And TEDDY-G, the man behind.
A palmist read their paws to see
How long they’d live and what would be
Their fortunes in the years to come
When as millionaires they’d be going some.
They saw the fish-haul on the pier
And the loaded net with fishes queer.
[Illustration]
They rode the donkeys on the sand
And held some children by the hand
While rides they took on donkey back
And made the bathers clear the track.
They went below with shivery feel
In a little boat where the water-wheel
Went splashing round with all its might
And pushed their boat into darkest night.
And then to a boardwalk place they went
Two colored bathing suits to rent.
They dressed themselves like thousands more
Who were walking up and down the shore;
And across the sand in running dash
They struck the breakers with a splash.
Of all the fun of every sort,
Since Columbus sailed from Genoa’s port,
That the old Atlantic ever had
With ocean bathers, good or bad,
With buccaneers or pirate crafts,
Or shipwrecked crews on lonesome rafts,
With fishermen in ocean wave,
Or boats sent out their lives to save,
[Illustration]
Or tourists bound for foreign clime
With dinners upset all the time,
With ocean fish of every form
Which swim the same in calm or storm,
With Admiral Drake or Captain Kidd
Who stole some gold and got it hid,
Or with careless boys of whom you’ve read
Who sometimes fall in over head,—
This fun the Atlantic had that day,
Some fifty thousand bathers say,
Beat every record for a thousand years
And made waves laugh themselves to tears.
[Illustration]
For the Roosevelt Bears had nerve and pluck
And as they faced each wave to duck
They plunged right in and got upset
Head over paws and awful wet.
[Illustration]
They took boys out in water deep
And made them from their shoulders leap;
And rescued swimmers, four or five,
And brought them back to shore alive;
And when they tired of the ocean’s whirls
They played on the sand with boys and girls,
And ran and danced and had lots of fun,
And dried themselves in the mid-day sun.
When back they went to get their suits,
To put on trousers, coats and boots,
Said TEDDY-G from his little house,
“This bathing suit wouldn’t fit a mouse;
It’s shrunk all up like a lady’s glove
And won’t come off by pull or shove.”
Said TEDDY-B from the box next door,
“Why didn’t you put on three or four?”
But TEDDY-G didn’t see the joke
And said he’d rip the thing or choke.
And rip he did from end to end
In a way no stitch would ever mend.
“It came off that way both smooth and nice,”
Said TEDDY-G when he asked the price.
They went that night by lucky chance
To an ocean pier where a cake-walk dance
Was on in style with couples six
Who knew full well the cake-walk tricks.
[Illustration:
“_All four danced with toe and paw the smartest cake-walk you ever
saw._”
]
Two pickaninnies won the prize;
They beat all records for their size;
And as they did their last encore
The Roosevelt Bears went on the floor,
And all four danced with toe and paw
The smartest cake-walk you ever saw.
The dancing finished with laugh and cheer
Then all the children on the pier
Shook hands with TEDDIES-B and G
And asked them both to come to see
A children’s dance, a pretty sight,
Which they would give the following night.
But the Bears replied with much regret
That Philadelphia they had not seen yet;
They must go back and crackers buy
To celebrate Fourth of July,
For they were bound to show the world
That when stars and stripes were first unfurled
And liberty rang sweet and loud
For warriors brave and patriots proud,
This flag and bell, right then and there,
Meant freedom for both man and bear.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
The
Roosevelt Bears
celebrate the
FOURTH
[Illustration]
TEDDY-G went out the night before
To Market Street, to a fireworks’ store,
And bought a load of crackers red,
And torpedoes round like balls of lead,
And great big whirlers which you light
And then run off with all your might,
And flags and kites and pistol toys:
The kind to give to little boys;
And rockets which go whizzing high
To shoot bright stars around the sky;
And sticks to hold and turn about
While balls of fire come popping out;
And drums to beat and horns to blow,
And things to shoot and things to throw;
And small balloons in colors gay
And a hundred flags to give away;
In all about twelve dollars’ worth
To celebrate July the Fourth.
[Illustration:
_TEDDY-G—His paw_
]
They didn’t sleep a wink that night
But started out before ’twas light,
To historic Independence Square.
“For that,” said TEDDY-B, “is where
This western world beyond the sea
Unfurled the flag of liberty;
And that’s the place and this the date
Where loyalty must celebrate.”
“Oh you come off,” said TEDDY-G,
“It’s fun that I am here to see;
Who cares to-day who won the game?
We’ll shoot off crackers just the same.”
And this is how the two Bears talked
As down the street to the Square they walked:
[Illustration]
TEDDY-B of heroes brave and bold
And things they did in days of old;
While TEDDY-G just had his say
About things to do that very day.
[Illustration:
_TEDDY-B—His paw_
]
At the Liberty Bell they took a try
And hoisted it up good and high
And rang it out both loud and clear,
And at every ring there went up a cheer;
For the only day in all the year
When the crack doesn’t spoil the tone sent forth
Is Independence Day, July the Fourth.
At least that’s what the children say,
And they know this bell from Z to A.
[Illustration]
But the fun began with the Roosevelt Bears
When boys stole on them unawares
And put a match to TEDDY-G
In his coat-tail pocket, where, you see,
He had stored some crackers, a good-sized bunch,
Along with hard-boiled eggs for lunch.
[Illustration:
Copyright, 1907, by Edward Stern & Co., Inc.
“At the Liberty Bell they took a try,
And hoisted it up both good and high.”
]
Lickety-split-pat-pit-bang-boo!
And the coat tail smoked and split in two,
And hard-boiled eggs shot here and there
And the Bear went up and down in air.
But he told the lads he didn’t care,
That fun might start in anywhere;
At front or back, in hat or boot,
Put punk to powder and let it shoot.
“We are out,” he said, “for fun and noise
And when fun is trump, boys will be boys.”
And from that hour the lads and he
Shared all there was to do or see.
[Illustration]
They strung a wire from tree to tree,
And then the fellows with TEDDY-B
Put crackers all along the wire,
To prepare the field for an army fire.
Said TEDDY-G, as he explained the play,
“We’ll fasten a flag on the wire half-way,
And you boys under yonder tree
Who have taken sides with TEDDY-B,
When I say the word, you put your fire
At the cracker next you on the wire,
[Illustration:
_“They strung a wire from tree to tree and then the fellows with
TEDDY-B
Put crackers all along the wire, to prepare the field for an army
fire.”_
]
While I, if my boys a hand will lend,
Will put a match to the other end.
To reach the flag first, that’s the game,
And the side which wins this piece of fame
Wins all the crackers big or small
Which haven’t gone off when time I call.
If on both sides the armies flunk
Both captains use again their punk.”
When both the sides the rules did know
TEDDY-G called out, “One! two! three! Go!”
[Illustration]
And at the words two armies shot
Their cracker guns both quick and hot
As on they marched along the wire
In powder smoke and blazing fire.
The flag was won by TEDDY-G
And prisoners taken, ninety-three
Of the finest crackers the others had,
All not shot off, both good and bad.
[Illustration]
But this army game was children’s play
Compared with things they did that day:
From noon till night they let things go,
In sky above and on earth below,
[Illustration]
With slap and bang, in smoke and noise,
Like any two July Fourth boys.
[Illustration]
They sent balloons up to the clouds
And a dozen kites to please the crowds,
And then shot rockets just to try
To hit the things up in the sky;
They dug a hole down in the ground
And filled it full of crackers round
And shot them off to hear the sound.
They burned their paws and scorched their hair,
And when darkness came they did their share
Of firing rockets everywhere,
And in burning lights, a fiery red,
Till long past time for going to bed.
[Illustration]
When the day was o’er said TEDDY-B,
“Let’s go to-morrow to the Zoo to see
The animals imprisoned there:
The elephant and polar bear,
The lions, tigers, and kangaroos,
And tell them one and all the news:
That July the Fourth is the day that we
Who own and love this country
Do celebrate in smoke and noise,
That we may teach our girls and boys
That this one day of every year
Is given them free to shout and cheer,
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
As a safety valve for them and you
To keep things running square and true.”
Said TEDDY-G, “I’ll freedom teach
And try to practise what I preach;
To-morrow I’ll let out the Zoo,
The elephants and monkeys too,
And the polar bear and kangaroo;
They’re just as good as me or you.”
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
The
Roosevelt Bears
visit the
ZOO
[Illustration]
Said TEDDY-G, “The thing to do,”
As they reached the high fence round the Zoo,
In the early morning, about half-past two,
“Is to get in there with this load of cake
Before the keepers are wide awake.”
“You climb the fence,” said TEDDY-B,
“And throw this rope back here to me,
And pull up the baskets one by one
And we’ll land in there a good-sized ton
Of the finest cake that was ever made,
And strawberry tarts and lemonade
And cherry pie and sugar sticks
And red ice cream in good-sized bricks
And peanut candy and chocolate eclairs
And other things quite new to bears.”
“Don’t waste your time in telling me;
I bought these things,” said TEDDY-G;
And up he climbed, with business sense,
A tree which grew beside the fence,
[Illustration]
And out a limb and dropped below
And called out, “All right; I’m in; let go.”
And up went baskets two by two
Over the fence into the Zoo;
[Illustration]
And before the day began to break
The Bears had camped with their load of cake
On a grassy knoll where they couldn’t hide
And with dens and pens on every side.
“We’re in here now,” said TEDDY-B;
“What do you say we do?” said he.
“Let’s feed the animals,” said TEDDY-G;
“I move we let out two or three
And bring them here and feed them cake
And see just how our show will take;
And if they are pleased, why we’ll go round
And let loose everything on the ground.”
To the elephant house the two Bears went
And stirred up the biggest elephant,
And marched him over to their cake
Before he had time to get half awake.
“You mind these things,” said TEDDY-G,
“Our breakfast hour is half-past three.
If you are good you can have a snack
To keep you chewing till we come back.”
And they gave old Bolivar (that was his name)
Some things to eat till back they came.
[Illustration:
Copyright, 1907, by Edward Stern & Co., Inc.
“‘You mind these things,’ said TEDDY-G,
‘Our breakfast hour is half-past three.’”
]
Then off they went to the monkey cage
Where monkeys of every size and age
Were using hands and feet and lungs
And saying good-morning in a thousand tongues.
TEDDY-B made them promise they’d be good
(At least that’s what he understood)
If he’d open the cage and let them out
And give them an hour to run about.
“We have,” said he, “some pie and cake
Which TEDDY-G will undertake
To serve out free in an hour or two
To every animal in the Zoo.
[Illustration]
We’ll give you as much as you deserve
If you’ll act as waiters and help us serve.”
The monkeys grinned from ear to ear
And winked at each other a little queer,
And nodded their heads and seemed to say
That the two Bears’ orders they’d obey.
The cage was opened and the crowd went out,
Little and big, with laugh and shout,
Upsetting each other across the green,
The funniest bunch that was ever seen.
[Illustration]
The Bears went then to the beaver pond
And told the beavers if they were fond
Of good ice cream served by baboons
To bring on their tails to use for spoons.
They saw some foxes red and gray
And asked them to dine with them that day.
The wolves looked hungry and said they’d see
That all left over was given them free.
The rhinoceros couldn’t accept their treat;
He had some rheumatics in his feet.
But in a cage near-by a kangaroo
Jumped twenty feet when they let him through.
[Illustration]
An ostrich standing six feet high
Called out to the Bears as they went by
To hurry around with a piece of pie.
[Illustration]
Two mountain goats with curling horn
Said the mountain crest where they were born,
Their father rented just for thanks
To the Roosevelt Bears to play their pranks,
And this they thought was cause indeed
Why they should be asked to the morning feed.
A hedgehog and a porcupine
Were the next pair asked by the Bears to dine,
Then a dromedary chewing his cud
Said he wouldn’t budge from where he stood,
But if they’d bring him a piece of cake
He’d see if he liked their kind of bake.
From there they went to the animals’ cage
Where they found the tigers in a rage
And the lions roaring to beat the band
In language the Bears didn’t understand.
[Illustration]
A chimpanzee came near to see
And he made a face at TEDDY-G.
He was eating pie and said he feared
That their basket lunch had disappeared.
The Bears took warning and started back
To find ten keepers on their track,
And animals both big and small
Running wild on every mall,
And Bolivar with his trumpet loud
Calling for help to stop the crowd.
The monkeys had gone in a solid bunch
And captured the whole of the picnic lunch,
And out on limbs and high up on poles,
And on top of roofs and into holes,
And every monkey with cake or jam,
Or pie or tart or sandwich ham,
Or nuts or lemonade or cheese;
And Bolivar shaking poles and trees,
And hungry wolves and the kangaroo,
And mountain goats and a deer or two
Running wild from place to place,
Helping on the monkey chase.
[Illustration:
“_The monkeys had gone in a solid bunch and captured the whole of the
picnic lunch._”
]
’Twas noon that day when keepers ten
And a police brigade of fifty men,
And a hundred boys and firemen six
Got the monkey troupe to stop their tricks.
The Bears looked on throughout the show
And helped on the fun by laughing so
For TEDDY-G, since he was a cub,
Or at Bunker Hill down in the Hub,
Said that making fun seemed to be his forte
And that he never had such lively sport.
But the keeper made him change his laugh
When he locked them up with a big giraffe
And told them to stay and pay a fine
When the police court met next day at nine.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
The
Roosevelt Bears
go
FISHING
[Illustration]
When the Roosevelt Bears had paid their fine
For the mischief done and the monkey shine,
They said good-bye to the big giraffe
And told him his neck was too long by half;
And asked the time it took his food
To reach his body from where he chewed;
And why he held his head so high,
And the size of collars he had to buy;
[Illustration]
And why he was neither round nor square;
But the old giraffe didn’t seem to care;
He wagged his tail and winked his eye
And nodded his head to say good-bye.
When they quit the Zoo and got outside,
“Let us take a train for a little ride;
I’m tired of town and want to see
A farm or stream,” said TEDDY-B.
So a train they took without the fare,
For where it went they didn’t care.
When “Tickets, please,” the conductor said,
TEDDY-G began to scratch his head
And to think up names of towns he knew,
Like Hoboken and Kalamazoo;
But when “Tickets, please,” he said again,
TEDDY-G got busy with a ten
And said, “Take this for your railway pay
And stop the train some time to-day
Where fishing’s good if you go that way.”
The conductor asked them questions strange
About their plans as he gave them change
[Illustration]
And slips of paper with holes punched through;
He said a fishing stream he knew;
He’d stop the train at any rate
And show them where to buy some bait
And fishing poles and hook and line
And a jolly inn to sleep and dine.
They reached the place that day at two,
And said good-bye to the railroad crew,
[Illustration:
Copyright, 1907, by Edward Stern & Co., Inc.
“They met a lad on his way from school,
Whom they stopped to question about a rule.”
]
And went by a path up a mountain ridge
As the train went on across a bridge.
They found the place and got fitted out
With six poles apiece both long and stout,
And bait enough and lines and hooks
To fish a year in a dozen brooks.
For said TEDDY-G, “If fishing’s play
Then I want enough, for I mean to stay
Right by the game for at least a week
Until every fish that’s in the creek
Is caught and deemed and cooked and ate
Or cut up in pieces to use for bait.”
So down their rods and lines they took
To the stream below to try their luck.
[Illustration]
Of all the fishing that was ever done
By Izaak Walton or his eldest son,
Or by boys who fish with pins for hooks,
That we read about in the picture books,
Or for salmon trout which weigh a ton
That they say are caught in Oregon,
[Illustration]
Or for shad in the River Delaware,
Or for pike or black bass anywhere,
The fish that day caught by the Bears
Would take first prizes at all the fairs;
And the way they caught them left and right,
And the way they coaxed the fish to bite,
And the way they tossed the fish in air,
Landing in trees and everywhere,
And the way they made the chipmunks run,
The fish, themselves, enjoyed the fun.
For one fish spoke, vows TEDDY-G,
A great big pounder, two or three,
And said he wouldn’t miss the game
Even if he never lived again.
“A sport,” he said, “like TEDDY-G,
Is the kind that fishes love to see.”
[Illustration]
TEDDY-G got his line caught in a tree
And climbed up on high to get it free
When a ’possum called down from above,
“If you come up here you’ll get a shove
Which will toss you off and break your head
And put you fifteen weeks in bed.”
But TEDDY-G just shook with glee
And said, “I’ll come right up to see.”
The ’possum scared and trembled so
He fell off the limb and down below
Where TEDDY-B broke an ugly fall
By catching him like a rubber ball.
They fed that ’possum fishes eight
And gave him hook and line and bait
And told him stories about the Zoo
And the things they let the monkeys do.
[Illustration]
They met a man by the stream that day
Who has fished for a hundred years they say,
In ocean, river, creek and pond,
And mountain brook and lake beyond,
With statesmen bold and actors gay,
And farmer lads found by the way.
He told them stories of fish he’d caught,
And when fish were few, of fish he’d bought.
And then had talked of this big land
And of men he knew on every hand:
The true to love and those to hate
Who fish for gain with stolen bait.
He told them how to have most fun
When they struck the town of Washington;
“Because,” he said, “though I’m on the shelf,
I had some fun there once myself.”
TEDDY-B said he would like to know
How near a Roosevelt Bear could go
To the Capitol or Monument
Without being shot by the President.
[Illustration]
But the man replied, “Trout-fishing’s fine,
But shooting bears isn’t in my line.
Take my advice and take your gun
When you turn your steps towards Washington.”
They shook his hand both long and tight
And said they’d leave that very night.
They could get a train, they said, at four
For Washington and Baltimore.
[Illustration]
They tramped along a country pike
And wished for horses, train or bike,
Till they met a lad on his way from school,
Whom they stopped to question about a rule
To multiply and square and add,
And what teachers did with lessons bad,
And who made spelling and what ’twas for,
And the day and hour of the next big war,
And what athletics were all about,
And where figures go when you rub them out,
And why the moon isn’t always round,
And the difference between a noise and sound,
And on a fence, how long ’twould take
To rest an hour or a dinner bake,
And how things inside the earth were done,
But the lad couldn’t answer a single one.
Said TEDDY-G: “If it doesn’t rain,
And you’ll tell us where to get a train
And the fare to pay and how long the run
From the place you name to Washington,
And your age and weight and greatest height,
And two bears you know that never bite,
I’ll give you a dollar, quick as wink,
And let you have it before you think.”
[Illustration]
Though he never learned this dollar trick
The lad was bright and he answered quick,
And they said good-bye and it didn’t rain
Till they stepped on board their Pullman train.
Said TEDDY-G, as he lit his pipe,
And bought some apples red and ripe,
And settled down in an easy seat
With a resting-place for both his feet,
“I’m tired of clothes; I’m tired of fun;
When I see the town of Washington
I’m off again for the woolly West;
I like the mountains much the best;
I want to live as free as air;
I’m satisfied to be a bear.”
“But you forget,” said TEDDY-B,
“That all these things we came East to see
Were made by the brains of every clime
To keep folks working all the time.”
“That’s all right,” said TEDDY-G,
“They can work ahead, but as for me
I don’t believe that bears were made
To be busy always at a trade.”
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
The
Roosevelt Bears
in
PITTSBURG
[Illustration]
They were on the train and at their ease
When the conductor called out “Tickets, please.”
“We have no tickets,” said TEDDY-G,
“But cash we have, as you will see,
And to Washington we want to go
To see the President and to let him know
That we are fully satisfied
That Uncle Sam is tall and wide
And big around, of mighty girth,
The greatest show on all the earth;
His boys and girls are full of fun
From Omaha to Washington.”
But the conductor said, “You ought to know
If to Washington you want to go
You’ve started wrong; this train you’re on
Is a Pittsburg special from Washington;
And to-morrow morning, if we’re not late,
You’ll be in Pittsburg at half-past eight.”
[Illustration]
The Bears looked dazed and then looked mad,
And then they laughed and both looked glad.
Said TEDDY-B, “Pay up the fares;
We’ll pass to-morrow as millionaires
And found a library and put through a deal
Of high finance in oil or steel.”
But TEDDY-G didn’t think so far;
He thought of night and the sleeping car;
He recalled some cranky things he said
When they made him sleep in an upper bed
On a train out West, and the banjo song,
And the things they did a little wrong
Till both were put right off the train
On a Kansas farm in a shower of rain.
The conductor heard this wise remark:
“If on this train, when the night is dark,
You want this Bear to behave himself,
Don’t make him sleep on a Pullman shelf.”
[Illustration]
But the trip was made without mishap
And both the Bears enjoyed a nap
In lower berths till eight o’clock,
When the porter gave their berths a knock
And said, “Get up; it’s broad day light;
The Iron City is now in sight.”
But things outside looked black as night
And said TEDDY-B, “Do you mean to say
That this is Pittsburg and this is day?”
The man replied, “Get up; that’s smoke;
Take my advice and when you joke
About this town, don’t do it loud,
For Pittsburg people live in a cloud,
And their ideas about a bear
May be colored some by Pittsburg air.”
“What’s that you say?” called TEDDY-G,
“You seem to know your geography,
But let me say right here and now,
I’ll teach your Pittsburg people how
To dance and sing, to laugh and joke,
In mountain air or city smoke,
For they must know this very day
That Pittsburg too was made for play.”
[Illustration:
Copyright, 1907, by Edward Stern & Co., Inc.
“Said TEDDY-B, ‘Pay up the fares,
We’ll pass to-morrow as millionaires.’”
]
They took a cab to a big hotel
Where things are done both smart and swell;
And breakfast over, TEDDY-B
[Illustration]
On mischief bent, went out to see
What the telegraph and phone could do
To get a crowd their tricks to view.
He called up schools, every one in town,
And ordered all the children down
To the Old Block House at noon to see
The Teddy Bears teach history.
[Illustration]
Then on the Mayor he played a lark
By ordering the police to Schenley Park,
To be locked up there till after dark;
“For,” said TEDDY-B, “the police you know
Might spoil our little Block House show.”
At costume shops each Teddy Bear
Bought a lot of Indian things to wear.
They planned at the Old Block House to meet
At the corner of a near-by street,
And from that spot like Indians race
And take possession of the place.
They did the trick in Wild West style;
Their whoops and yells were heard a mile;
[Illustration]