ETIQUETTE ABROAD
THE AMERICAN IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES
The American who goes abroad and expects to learn in a few days the
customs, manners and even the language of the countries he visits, is
like the proverbial Irishman who comes to America and expects to find
the streets paved with gold. Both are doomed to disappointment.
One of the most undesirable features of travel abroad is to be forced to
depend upon the half-incorrect interpretations of guides for one's
comfort and pleasure. How much better it is to be able to talk to the
natives of the country themselves, and to understand them and their
ways! A little preliminary preparation before the trip, or while one is
on the way, serves as an excellent foundation upon which to build one's
knowledge of the language and customs of a foreign country.
Good manners are, of course, universal; and the man who is well-bred in
America is sure to be correctly-mannered when he is in France or
England. And yet there are slight differences between the etiquette of
America and the etiquette of foreign countries. They do not affect one's
courtesy or kindliness of manner, but they do affect those daily little
conventionalities, such as greetings, farewells, table etiquette,
addressing clergy and royalty, etc. To be ignorant of these rules is to
be susceptible to embarrassment and uncertainty, and to incur the
displeasure and unfriendliness of foreigners of good social standing.
The following paragraphs will, we hope, help the man or woman who is
traveling abroad, for they contain all the important details of foreign
etiquette. But in addition, we have suggested that those who intend to
visit France or Germany or any other foreign country, spend a little
time reading about that country and learning a bit about the language.
There are many good books available in public libraries and elsewhere,
that teach one a great deal about the people, interesting places, and
language of foreign countries.
ON ENGLISH SOIL
Perhaps it is because America and England have so much in common, that
their etiquette is so very similar. We find that balls and receptions
and entertainments, dinners, calls, funerals and weddings, in fact,
almost all social functions are celebrated in practically the same
manner as is considered best form here in America. The changes are so
slight that they are not important enough to mention.
But there is one radical difference between English and American
conventionalities that usually cause difficulty to the tourist. We refer
to the royal society of England which requires a very special kind of
recognition. The traveling American who visits an English court will
expose himself to a great deal of embarrassment if he does not know the
correct court etiquette--if he does not know the proper titles and their
recognition, how to address the King or Queen, how to conduct himself
while in the presence of royalty.
ADDRESSING ROYALTY
Although every American tourist delights in being presented at court, or
to a royal personage, it is usually regarded as a nervous and
embarrassing business--for the reason that one does not quite know just
what is correct to say and do. When addressing the King, there are two
correct forms and no others that may be used. One may say either, "Your
Majesty" or "Sir." There are also two forms that may be used when
addressing the Queen. They are, "Your Majesty" or "Madame." When
answering a question put by either of these rulers, one may not use the
brief "No" or "Yes." "No, madame," or "Yes, sir," are the correct forms.
When addressing the King, the form "Your Majesty" is used.
All children of the King and Queen are addressed as "Your Royal
Highness." This same title is used when addressing the brother or sister
of the reigning monarchs, or the brother or sister of the late King. In
speaking to royalty, one does not use the simple expression "you," but
expresses oneself in this manner, "Has your Royal Highness been to
America recently?"
One rule that all Americans should observe when in the presence of
foreign royalty is to wait until they are addressed by the persons of
rank. They themselves should not volunteer remarks but should enter into
the conversation only when they are directly addressed. To use a title
of rank, such as "Your Majesty" or "Your Royal Highness" incessantly, is
to make it seem superficial. It should be used only when respect and
convention demand it.
When presented to royalty, a man is expected to bow, a woman to
courtesy. The hand is never offered in greeting, unless the person of
rank makes the first motion. In the presence of the Queen everyone
should show some mark of respect--men stand with heads uncovered and
women bow slightly. Americans should follow these customs if they do not
wish to earn the enmity of their English brothers and make their stay in
the country unpleasant. But most of all, they should do it because it is
the _polite_ and _proper_ thing to do. Americans should also remain
standing at the theater or opera when the national anthem, "God Save the
Queen," is sung, or while the rest of the audience stands in respect for
a member of the royal family who has not yet been seated.
OTHER ENGLISH TITLES
An American in England is very likely to meet some persons of high
hereditary title, if they are not presented at the court itself. When
speaking of a Duke, one says, "The Duke of Lancastershire." When
addressing him, one says, "Your Grace" or "My Lord Duke." Familiarly, by
those who know him well and address him as an equal, the Duke is
addressed merely as "Duke." The same rule applies to the Duchess.
Formally she is addressed as "Your Grace"; familiarly she is addressed
as "Duchess."
The eldest son is entitled to the highest of the lesser titles of his
father. Thus, the eldest son of a Duke who was a Marquis immediately
before receiving his ducal degree, is known as the Marquis, and is
addressed as "Lord Barrie" (if Barrie happened to be the surname of the
family). Earls, Viscounts and Barons are addressed in the same manner,
when their titles are given them as courtesies, as the eldest sons of
Dukes.
The wife of anyone of the titled men mentioned above would be addressed
as "Lady Barrie." A curt "No" or "Yes" is extremely rude on the part of
an American when answering a question put by the wife of a person of
nobility. One should say, "No, Lady Barrie."
The younger sons of a Duke are addressed as "Lord James" or "Lord Sidney
Barrie." Daughters are addressed as "Lady Helen" or "Lady Louise
Barrie."
A Marquis (not the eldest son of a Duke, but a recognized Marquis by
English law) is entitled to the formal title of "My Lord" or "Your
Lordship" when addressed by traveling Americans--or by their own
country-people. By his friends or equals he is addressed as "Lord
Denbigh" or "Marquis." On formal occasions, or by those of lesser rank,
a Marchioness is addressed as "My Lady" or "Your Ladyship." But her
friends and equals call her "Lady Penhope" or "Marchioness."
Just as the eldest son of a Duke bears a "courtesy title," so does the
eldest son of a Marquis. This eldest son is called "Lord Denbigh." The
daughters of the Marquis are "Lady Helen" or "Lady Janet," and they are
addressed in this manner by their friends and equals. Formally, an Earl
is addressed as "My Lord" or "Your Lordship." The wife of an Earl is
formally addressed as is the Marchioness. But by her intimate friends
and her social equals she is addressed as "Countess" or "Lady Hendrick."
The eldest son of an Earl bears his father's second title. There are no
titles for the younger sons of an Earl. His daughters are addressed in
the same manner as are the daughters of a Marquis. A Viscount is
addressed formally as "My Lord" and his friends and equals address him
familiarly as "Lord Roberts." In addressing the wife of a Viscount, one
uses the same forms outlined for the wife of an Earl. The sons and
daughters of a Viscount, when addressed or spoken about, are referred to
as Mr. or Miss Roberts, but when formally introduced, this form is used,
"The Honorable Henry Roberts."
---- AND STILL OTHER TITLES
The American traveler in England will certainly have a great many titles
to remember, especially if he expects to mingle to any extent with the
royal society. There are still others besides those outlined above. The
following are "lesser" titles, but are used perhaps even more frequently
than those given in the preceding paragraphs.
There are the Baron and Baroness, for instance, who are addressed
respectively as "My Lord" and "Your Ladyship." Their children have the
same titular rank and are addressed in the same manner. The Baronet is
addressed formally and familiarly as "Sir Thomas" without the addition
of his surname. His title is really only an hereditary privilege. But
his wife enjoys the title of "Lady Merick" or "Lady Carol," instead of
just "Lady Sylvia." The children of a Baronet have no title.
A Knight is addressed as "Lord Henry" or "Lord James," both formally and
familiarly. His wife is addressed in the same form as that used for the
wife of a Baronet. The children of a Knight are called merely Mr. or
Miss.
ADDRESSING CLERGY ABROAD
Another difficulty that often confronts the stranger in England, is that
of correctly addressing the clergy. England is a land of titles, and to
be at ease one must know how to place each title properly and pay proper
respect where it is due.
In England the Archbishops of Canterbury and York and all the bishops
(with the exception of two) are called "Lords Spiritual." They enjoy the
privilege of sitting in the House of Lords. Thus, when addressing them
formally, the form "Your Grace" should be used. "Archbishop" may be used
only by those who are addressing that dignitary familiarly as a friend
or an equal. Bishops should be formally addressed as "Your Lordship" or
"My Lord," but merely as "Bishop" by their friends. Their wives, and the
wives of archbishops, have no title, nor do the children of either
archbishop or bishop have any title other than Mr. or Miss.
Following the bishop in rank, comes the Dean, addressed simply as "Dean
Harris." His wife is known only as "Mrs. Harris." The same forms apply
to the Archdeacon and his wife. Other clergymen--canons, vicars, rectors
and curates--have no titles and are addressed simply as "Mr. Brown" or
"Mr. Smith" as the case may be.
LAWYERS, STATESMEN AND OFFICIALS--HOW TO ADDRESS THEM
While traveling about in merry England, one may find it necessary to
seek legal advice or the protection of a court. The etiquette is
slightly different from that observed in America.
The members of the judiciary, for instance, are not spoken of as "Judge
Brown" and "Judge Harris," but as "Mr. Justice Brown" and "Mr. Justice
Harris." While presiding in his court, the member of the judiciary is
addressed as "My Lord," "Your honor," "Your worship," according to the
position occupied. In private life, however, he is plain "Mr. Smith."
Whether addressed formally or familiarly, the members of the Cabinet,
and the prime minister are simply Mr. Blank, unless they have titles
conferred upon them by the King or inherited. In this case they use
their titles constantly and are addressed accordingly.
The Lord Mayor of London is entitled to the honorary title of "His
Lordship." He may also be addressed as "My Lord Mayor" at social
gatherings.
AT THE COURT OF ENGLAND
The social activities of the English Court, and the etiquette governing
these activities, should be known and thoroughly understood by every
American who ever intends to visit that country. The war interfered
slightly with the functions of the court, but with the return to normal
these have been resumed with all their pre-war ceremony.
Usually four Courts are held every season, two in the early part of
spring, and two at equal intervals later on. This may be altered,
however, to suit conditions; as, for instance, in Nineteen-Fourteen
there were only three Courts, and in Nineteen-Fifteen there were none at
all.
American women who wish to be presented at Court may either be presented
by the wife of the American Ambassador or by some English woman of title
and position who has herself been received by the Queen. The American
Ambassador has the privilege of sending to the authorities in whose
hands the matter rests, the names of several American women suitable
for presentation at Court. Those who wish this privilege, should
register their names at the offices of the Embassy in London,
sufficiently ahead of time for due consideration.
In addition to the registering of her name at the Embassy, the woman who
wishes to be presented at Court should bring to the Ambassador a letter
of recommendation from some member of the American government who is
well known to the Ambassador. Then, if the application is accepted, her
name and credentials will be sent to Buckingham Palace, from whence
invitations will be issued if the Ambassador's list is approved.
Having gained the coveted invitation to appear at the Court of Her
Majesty, the Queen, the American woman must be careful that she knows
exactly what to wear.
WHAT TO WEAR TO COURT
Before attempting to appear at Court, the American woman should consult
a reliable modiste. She will be able to tell her exactly the correct
thing to wear at her presentation.
Court gowns invariably have trains, and the head dress is always
elaborate. The dress itself must be fashioned according to the style of
the moment, and in this the woman must be guided by her dressmaker. For
a young, unmarried woman a dress of thin, light-colored material is
suggested, unadorned by jewels of any kind. The matron may wear diamonds
or pearls, but must not attempt to emulate the gaudiness of a Queen
Elizabeth.
The well-bred woman will not feel awkward in the vast room where all the
great personages are assembled. She will learn beforehand, just how to
enter the room, how to kiss the Queen's hand and how to conduct herself
with poise and grace during the period of presentation.
THE KING'S LEVEES
The American gentleman who wishes to be presented to His Majesty, may
arrange through his Ambassador to attend one of the levees which the
King holds at St. James' Palace. These levees are not quite as
ceremonious as the Courts which the Queen holds, but they require a
certain definite etiquette which must not be overlooked.
For instance, the American who is not in uniform, must wear the correct
dress prescribed for the occasion. It is known as levee dress, and a
competent London tailor will be able to inform the American gentleman of
just what it consists. He must not attempt to appear at the levee in any
other than these conventional clothes. Slight variations take place in
these levee costumes, from time to time, and the American in England
should make sure by consulting with a fashionable tailor.
It is wise also, before attending a levee, to have a little chat with a
friend or acquaintance who has already attended one, and learn from him
the correct way to conduct oneself throughout the presentation.
IN FRANCE
France is a land of polished manners. Here one is either cultured or
uncultured. Mistakes in etiquette, divergence from the path of good
form, are not tolerated in good society. The American in France must
know exactly what is correct to do and say in that country, if he
wishes to enjoy his visit.
The brief expressions "Yes" or "No" are never used in France when one
wishes to be polite. It must be followed by the correct title, such as
"Yes, Monsieur" or "No, Madame." In the morning, upon greeting an
acquaintance, no matter how slightly you know him, it is correct to say,
"Bonjour, Monsieur." When expressing thanks for a courtesy or for
requested information, one says, "Merci, Madame." And the customary
farewell is "Au revoir, Mademoiselle."
Politeness is universal in France. One greets shop clerks as cordially
as one greets one's best friend. Upon entering the French shop one
should say "Bonjour, Monsieur" to the floorwalker, and "Bonjour, Madame"
to the saleslady. In the restaurant it is proper to say "Merci,
Monsieur," to the head waiter who shows you to your place. The waiters
are addressed as _garcon_, but the waitresses are called _Madame_ or
_Mademoiselle_.
If one happens to brush against someone accidentally, or to get into
someone's way, it is very important that polite apologies be offered. To
hurry on without so much as saying, "Pardon, Monsieur," is extremely
rude, and Frenchmen are quick to notice it. They are very courteous and
they expect visitors to be the same.
ADDRESSING TITLED PEOPLE IN FRANCE
"Monsieur le Comte" is the correct mode of address to employ towards a
Count in France. A Baron is addressed as "Monsieur le Baron." His wife,
however, is called simply "Madame----."
Officers in the Army are addressed in the following manner: "Mon
Capitaine," "Mon General," etc. It is a decided breach of good conduct
to address an officer in the French army as "Monsieur," especially when
he is in uniform. When speaking about a certain officer, one may say,
"Le General Denbigh."
The concierge and his wife are known merely as Monsieur and Madame. The
parish priest, however, is spoken of and to as, "Monsieur le cure." A
nun is addressed always as "Ma Soeur."
Be careful not to forget the correct forms of address in France, for
Frenchmen are quick to take offense and much ill-will may unwittingly be
incurred by the American man or woman who does not pay proper respect
where it is due, who does not use the correct titles at the correct
time. And the American traveler in France should remember that his
manners and conduct in that country reflect not only upon his own
manners and breeding, but upon the manners and customs of the country he
represents.
CERTAIN FRENCH CONVENTIONS
In France the first recognition of acquaintanceship must come from the
gentleman. For instance, if a young American man makes the acquaintance
of a young French woman, she will expect him to raise his hat when they
meet again, before she nods to him. In America it is the reverse--the
young lady has the privilege of acknowledging or ignoring an
acquaintanceship.
Not only must the hat be raised to women, in France, but to men also. A
young American and a young Frenchman who are known to each other raise
their hats simultaneously when they encounter each other on the street.
But when the Frenchman is the elder of the two, or the more
distinguished, the American is expected to wait until he makes the first
motion of recognition.
The American who stops at a small hotel in France for a period of two
days or more, should feel it his duty to nod courteously to every woman
guest of the hotel he chances to meet, whether or not she is a total
stranger. This is considered a conventional courtesy which all well-bred
people in France observe. However, it does not serve the purpose of an
introduction, and the American must not make the mistake of thinking
that this privilege entitles him to address the women guests without the
introduction of a mutual friend or acquaintance.
Frenchmen always stand with heads uncovered when a funeral passes, and
women bow for a moment. The well-bred American man and woman in France
will also observe this custom. Nor will they neglect to remain standing
while the _Marsellaise_ is being sung.
DINNER ETIQUETTE
An invitation to dine should be accepted or declined promptly when one
is visiting in France. And one may not decline unless one has a very
good excuse, such as having a previous engagement, or being called away
on the day set for the dinner.
It is considered polite to arrive twenty minutes or a half-hour before
dinner is served. If it is a formal and elaborate dinner, evening dress
should be worn; but afternoon or semi-evening dress is appropriate for
the informal dinner. It is not at all incorrect, if one is in doubt, to
ask the host or hostess whether one should wear full dress or not. It is
certainly wiser than to make oneself conspicuous by wearing different
dress from all the other guests.
In France, the order in which the guests proceed to dinner is as
follows: the host leads the way with the woman guest of honor, or the
most distinguished woman guest, on his arm. Directly behind him follows
the hostess on the arm of the masculine guest to be honored; and they
are followed by the other guests, who proceed arm in arm.
According to the latest dinner etiquette in France, coffee is served for
both the men and women at the dinner table. But when the dinner is very
large and fashionable, it is still customary for the women to retire to
the drawing-room, where the hostess presides over the coffee-urn. When
men and women leave the dining-room together, they resume the same order
as they observed when they entered it.
The American who is a guest at a formal dinner in France should pay a
call upon the hostess within a week's time. This call is known as the
"_visite de digestion_."
FRENCH WEDDING ETIQUETTE
Weddings are occasions of solemn dignity in every country, but in France
they are perhaps more dignified than anywhere else. Here no rice and old
shoes are cast after the bride and bridegroom--it would be considered a
most shocking thing to do. Good wishes, politely expressed, are the only
good-by offerings of friends and relatives.
There are usually two ceremonies to be celebrated at the French
wedding--first the civil, and later the religious, marriage. At the
civil wedding, which is held two or three days before the religious
ceremony, only a few intimate friends and relatives of the two families
are present. But the ceremony at church is a very important affair and
all friends and acquaintances of both families are invited to attend.
Those who cannot attend should send cards of regret to the bride's
parents.
BALLS
Very elaborate and gay indeed are the balls of France. There is, for
instance, the _bals blancs_, at which all ladies are gowned in pure
white and only maidens and bachelors are expected to be present. Men
guests at the _bal blanc_ wear the conventional evening dress.
At a ball in France, a gentleman may request to dance with a lady
without having first been introduced to her. Even a total stranger may
approach a lady on the ballroom floor and ask for a dance. But it is
considered very bad form for a young man and woman to "sit out" a dance
together or retire to the veranda or lawn.
ABOUT CALLS AND CARDS
If one expects to remain in France any length of time at all, it is
important that one know and understand the etiquette of calls and cards
in that country.
Calls are paid just as frequently in France as they are in America.
Between two and six o'clock in the afternoon is the correct time for
calling in the former country. One observes very much the same
conventions of calling that one does here in America, except that the
gentleman wears both his gloves when entering a drawing-room, and that
the hostess does not rise to welcome a masculine caller. (However, the
French hostess always does rise to greet an elderly gentleman, a
distinguished person, or a member of the clergy.)
French introductions are never haphazard, never careless. The hostess
introduces freely all the guests that assemble in her home, but she is
not, as the American hostess sometimes is, careless and hurried. In
acknowledging an introduction, a brief, polite greeting should be
expressed; French people rarely shake hands.
The significance of the bent visiting card still remains in France,
though here in America it has been almost entirely eliminated. When a
hostess finds the card of a friend or acquaintance, with one of its
corners turned down, she knows that that friend called for the purpose
of a visit but found no one at home. In fact, that is almost the only
time when cards are left in France--when the person called upon is not
at home. However, a dinner call is often paid by the simple process of
card-leaving.
CORRESPONDENCE
The French people are very particular in their correspondence. Certain
set rules of salutation and closing are observed, and the margins
themselves have a particular significance. For instance, when writing a
letter to a French person, a wide margin should be left on the left side
of the sheet; and the greater the social prestige and distinction of the
person addressed, the wider this margin must be.
A man writing to another man who is an intimate friend begins his letter
in this manner: "Mon cher Frederick," or "Mon cher ami." The closing to
this letter would be, "Bien a vous," or "Bien cordialement a vous." When
the two men are not intimate friends, a letter should begin, "Cher
Monsieur," or "Mon cher Monsieur Blank," and should end with "Croyez a
mes sentiments devoues." Strangers address each other merely as
"Monsieur," and close with "Recevez je vous prie l'assurance de ma
consideration distinguee."
When writing to a woman friend, a man begins his letter with "Chere
Madame et ami," or "Chere Mademoiselle." But when he is a stranger or
just a slight acquaintance, he begins his letter with "Madame" and
concludes it with "Veuillez, Madame, recevoir l'expression de tout mon
respect." The French have very pretty expressions of greeting and
conclusion, and they expect every well-bred person to use them.
A woman writing to a gentleman addresses him in the following manner, if
he is an intimate friend: "Monsieur," or "Cher Monsieur Brown," and she
closes the letter with the courtesy phrase, "Agreez, cher monsieur,
l'expression de mes sentiments d'amitie." Greetings and closings are
more formal when the woman addresses a masculine stranger or slight
acquaintance by letter. She begins simply with "Monsieur," and closes
with, "Veuillez, monsieur, recevoir l'expression de mes sentiments
distingues."
Special forms of address and conclusion are used when writing officers
in the French army. A general or commander are addressed in the
following manner: "Monsieur le general," or "Monsieur le commandant."
The letter should be couched in terms of most exact respect.
Tradespeople in France are addressed by letter in the following manner:
"Monsieur C.," or "Madame C.," and the conclusion should be, "Agreez,
Monsieur C., mes civilites." A servant should be addressed with "Je prie
M. Smith (or Mad. Smith) de vouloir bien."
In France abbreviations on the envelope are considered very bad form.
M. may never be used for Monsieur, nor may Mlle, be used for
Mademoiselle. The full title and name must appear on the envelope.
THE AMERICAN IN GERMANY
The American who finds himself in Germany for the first time is likely
to be puzzled and embarrassed by the numerous different manners and
customs in each little town and duchy. What is correct in one place, may
be incorrect elsewhere. Thus it is impossible to give certain rules of
etiquette to be followed by the American in the German Empire. He must
be guided by good judgment and by the advice of his German friends.
However, one may be certain of one thing--throughout the length and
breadth of the German empire the greatest ceremony is observed in
correspondence of all kinds. As great courtesy and respect is paid the
stranger as the friend. When writing to a man or woman of social
distinction, this impressive inscription appears on the envelope and
begins the letter: "To the high and well-born Mrs. Robert Smith." It
sounds, perhaps, a trifle crude in the English, but in the native German
it is a pretty and courteous phrase and a true expression of respect.
When writing to a person of lesser social importance, as a business
letter, for instance, one should begin with "Honored Sir." The
expression, "Lieber Freund," should be used only when writing informally
to a dear friend. In fact, the same method of address as is used in
writing English letters may be used when writing to friends and
acquaintances in Germany.
The hours for paying calls and leaving cards differ in the various
localities. Ordinarily, the correct time would be between half-past
three and half-past four o'clock in the afternoon, although in some
localities calls are not considered correct before five o'clock. In
Germany, card-leaving should be followed in the same manner as
card-leaving in the United States.
When meeting a feminine acquaintance in Germany, the American gentleman
does not wait for recognition to come from her, but immediately bows and
raises his hat. As in France, he may request a lady to dance with him,
at a ball, without having first requested an introduction. And also, as
in France, it is considered polite to bow and raise one's hat to the
ladies who are at the same hotel, although here again, the privilege
does not serve as an introduction.
At all times, men and women in Germany should be given full recognition
of their titles and positions. A German woman always enjoys the title
bestowed upon her husband. The wife of a general expects to be addressed
as "Mrs. General Blank," and the wife of a doctor should be called "Mrs.
Doctor Blank." Men of official or professional rank and titles are
addressed as, "Mr. Professor, Mr. General, Mr. Doctor, etc." "Herr
Doktor Smith" is the correct German form--and to omit the _Herr_ is a
breach of good conduct.
THE PERFECT AMERICAN TOURIST
Unfortunately, there are some Americans who go abroad each year merely
because it is the "fashion" to do so, and because they wish to impress
their friends and acquaintances at home with their social distinction
and importance. These people are wont to let their money talk for
them--instead of their manners. But there are many things that wealth
will not excuse; and among them is lack of courtesy and breeding.
The American abroad, whether he is traveling for pastime, pleasure or
business, should remember primarily that he is a representative of the
United States, and that as such he owes his country the duty of making
his manners a polished reflection of the manners of all Americans. He
must be courteous, polite, kind, _gentlemanly_. He must conform with the
customs of the country he chances to be in, and he must avoid all
suggestion of superiority on his part, or disdain for the customs of the
other country.
There is a certain fellow-feeling, a certain sympathy and kindliness
that can take the place of conventionalities when one is not sure of the
customs of certain countries. Perhaps you do not know the French
language, and you wish to have a window raised while you are traveling
on a French railroad. Is it forgivable to bend across a man or woman and
raise the window without a word of excuse, or a cordial smile of
understanding? And yet how often do we see this thing done! Many a
seemingly well-bred man or woman will raise the window next to another
man or woman without so much as asking permission to do so! The proper
thing to do when one does not know the language, is to smile in a
cordial manner to the person or persons in the vicinity of the window,
indicate that you would like to have it raised, and wait until your
request is understood and granted before you venture to raise it. Then a
polite "Merci," which means "Thank you," and which everyone should know
and remember, should be given.
It is not always easy to do and say what is absolutely correct when one
is in a strange country among people who speak a strange language. But
he who is kind and courteous at all times, who has a ready smile and a
polished manner, will avoid much of the embarrassment that awaits the
tourist who is indifferent and careless. The proverb, "All doors open to
courtesy," is as true in France and England as it is in America.
_APPENDIX_
FOREIGN WORDS IN FREQUENT SOCIAL USAGE
Ad infinitum, L., to infinity.
A la carte, Fr., according to the bill of fare at table.
A la mode, Fr., according to the mode or fashion.
A la Russe, Fr., according to the Russian fashion (individual portions).
A propos, L., to the point.
Au fait, Fr., well-versed in social custom.
Au revoir, Fr., good-by till we meet again.
Ben educato, It., well educated.
Billet d'amour, Fr., love letter.
Blase, Fr., world-weary.
Bona fide, L., in good faith.
Bonbonniere, Fr., bonbon dish.
Bon jour, Fr., good morning; good day.
Bon ton, Fr., fashionable society.
Bon voyage, Fr., good journey to you.
Bouillion, Fr., a clear broth.
Boutonniere, Fr., a flower for the buttonhole.
Buffet, Fr., a sideboard for china, silver or glass.
Carte blanche, Fr., unconditional permission.
Chancel, L., space in church reserved for the officiating clergy.
Chere amie, Fr., dear friend (fem.).
Coiffure, Fr., dressing of the hair.
Collation, Fr., a light repast.
Compotiers, Fr., dish for served stewed fruits or bonbons.
Corsage bouquet, Fr., flowers fastened on bodice.
Cortege, Fr., a formal procession.
Coterie, Fr., a social set; a clique.
Cotillon, Fr., a dance for four couples.
Coup d'etat, Fr., a sudden decisive blow in politics.
Debutante, Fr., a young lady just introduced to society.
Decollete, Fr., fashionably low-cut for evening wear.
De luxe, Fr., of luxury; made with unusual elegance.
Denouement, Fr., the issue.
Dramatis personae, L., characters in the play.
De trop, Fr., too much, too many.
Demoiselle, Fr., young lady.
Eclat, Fr., renown, glory.
Elite, Fr., better society.
En buffet, Fr., served from the buffet; no tables.
En deshabille, Fr., in undress; negligee.
En masse, Fr., in a mass.
En route, Fr., on the way.
En suite, Fr., in company.
En toilette, Fr., in full dress.
Entree, Fr., a side-dish, served as one course of a meal.
Entre nous, Fr., between ourselves.
Ensemble, Fr., all together.
E pluribus unum, L., one out of many.
Et cetera, L., and everything of the sort.
Et tu, Brute, L., and thou also, Brutus.
Eureka, Gr., I have found it.
Fete, Fr., a festive social occasion.
Fete champetre, Fr., an open-air festival or entertainment.
Filets mignon, Fr., small pieces of beef tenderloin, served with sauce.
Finesse, Fr., social art in its highest conception.
Fondant, Fr., soft icing or glace.
Finis, Fr., the end.
Garcon, Fr., boy.
Grace a Dieu, Fr., grace of God.
Hors d'oeuvre, Fr., out of course; special course.
In memorium, L., to the memory of.
Le beau monde, Fr., the fashionable world.
Lettre de cachet, Fr., a sealed letter.
Ma chere, Fr., my dear (fem.).
Mal de mer, Fr., sea-sickness.
Mardi gras, Fr., Shrove Tuesday.
Mayonnaise, Fr., a salad sauce of egg, oil, vinegar and spices beaten
together.
Menu, Fr., bill of table fare.
Mon ami, Fr., my friend (mon amie, fem.).
Musicale, Fr., private concert.
Negligee, Fr., morning dress; easy, loose dress.
Noblesse oblige, Fr., rank imposes obligations; much is expected from
one in good position.
Nom de plume, Fr., an assumed name of a writer.
Notre Dame, Fr., Our Lady.
O Tempora! O Mores! L., Oh the times! Oh the manners!
Passe, Fr., out of date.
Penchant, Fr., a strong or particular liking.
Piece de resistance, Fr., something substantial by way of entertainment;
most substantial course of a dinner; literally, a piece of resistance (a
main event or incident).
Pour prendre conge, Fr., to depart, take leave. (P.p.c. on calling
cards meaning the departure of a caller for a long voyage, hence a
parting call.)
Prima donna, Ital., the chief woman vocalist of a concert.
Pro patria, L., for our country.
Protegee, Fr., under the protection of another.
Rendezvous, Fr., an appointed place for a meeting.
R.s.v.p., Fr., (Repondez s'il vous plait), please reply.
Requiescat in pace, L., may he (she) rest in peace.
Resume, Fr., a summary or abstract.
Salon, Fr., a drawing-room; the room where guests are received.
Sang froid, Fr., coolness, indifference.
Sans souci, Fr., without care.
Savoir faire, Fr., knowledge of social customs; tact.
Table a manger, Fr., dining-table.
Table d'hote, Fr., a public dinner at hotel or restaurant.
Trousseau, Fr., the bridal outfit.
Tout de suite, Fr., immediately.
Tout ensemble, Fr., all together.
Veni, Vidi, Vici, L., I came, I saw, I conquered.
Verbatim, L., word for word.
Vis-a-vis, Fr., face-to-face.
Voila, Fr., behold; there you are!
* * * * *
The following changes have been made: (note of etext transcriber)
because of someone's else magnificent parties=>because of someone else's
magnificent parties
avalance=>avalanche
ones own sense=>one's own sense
Many gentlemen, while speaking to ladies in the street, stand with their
uncovered=>Many gentlemen, while speaking to ladies in the street, stand
with their heads uncovered
adddressed=>addressed
Repondez s'il vous plait=>Repondez s'il vous plait
the the elderly woman=>the elderly woman
be be paid the taxi-driver=>be paid the taxi-driver
be ill at east=>be ill at ease