LAME SABINA GIVES GOOD ADVICE.
Veronica's teacher, Sabina, had been a hunchback from her birth, and had
become lame when still young; she had used crutches since she was twenty
years old. Like many persons who suffer under physical disabilities, she
had clever penetrating eyes, and on this day, she often raised them from
the work which she was pursuing with indefatigable industry, to glance at
her pupil, who sat opposite. Veronica was at work on the same piece which
she had had at home on the previous night, that night which she had
passed in such sad forbodings.
After many inquiring glances, Sabina at last said thoughtfully:
"I'm puzzled about you, Veronica. That piece of work you are upon, is
wonderfully well done; every stitch is perfectly even, the cloth and the
silk are as white as snow; yet you must have done most of it at night, for
yesterday afternoon you were not nearly so far along. Whatever you put
your hand to, succeeds. Yet your eyebrows grow more and more scowling
every day, and your eyes blaze out as if there were a thunder-storm about.
What ails you, child? You are the handsomest girl in all the country round
when you have a pleasant expression; and you are as tall and straight as
a young fir-tree. Don't you know that?"
"What good does it do me?" asked Veronica, and scowled worse than ever.
"What good? if you did not have it you would know what it is worth,"
replied Sabina, quickly. "I can tell you that. Now smooth your forehead,
Veronica, and listen to me. I will tell you something that will make you
feel better and happier. An Industrial School has been established in
Fohrensee and it is proposed to connect with it a work-room for women.
They want a teacher and superintendent, and have offered me the place, but
I am not strong enough for it. I have told them that you are fully equal
to me in skill and knowledge of the work, and a hundred times my superior
in freshness and strength and executive ability. There is no doubt that
the place is at your disposal. You can lead the life of a lady, Veronica.
Your fortune is made."
For the first time since Sabina began to speak, Veronica raised her eyes
from her work. She shook her head sadly and said,
"Not my fortune."
"'Not my fortune!'" repeated Sabina angrily, "when I tell you this place
is yours! Your fortune is made."
"I cannot grasp the fortune that is offered me," said the girl, and bent
over her work again.
Sabina's searching glance seemed to try to penetrate her inmost thought.
"What sort of an expression is that you are using, Veronica? Where did you
learn that? I never expected to hear such words from your lips. It is not
like you. What put that into your head, child?"
"I will tell you something of my experience, and then you will understand
why I use this expression," said Veronica quietly. "When I was only a
little girl I learned a motto which ran thus:
'Fortune stands ready, full in sight;
He wins, who knows to grasp it right.'
I saw that 'fortune' was something good to have, and I wanted to find out
how it could be grasped. I asked Cousin Judith, and she told me it must be
grasped like everything else with our hands, that is to say, through work.
From that time forward I was eager for work as other children are for
play, and the older I grow, the more I strive for the good fortune that
can be grasped by work. Even on Sundays I often go to my room to sew, and
I shut my door, for my mother does not like to see me sew then. I work on
and on, just as long as I can sit at it, even into the night; sometimes
till one and two o'clock in the morning; yet I do not find the fortune I
want. When my hands are busy, my thoughts wander where they will, and I
must follow them. But they do not lead to 'fortune,' but only farther away
from it. This offer may bring me a fortune in money and position, but that
is not the fortune I want. 'Fortune' for me, means happiness."
Sabina had not lost a word of this sad story.
"Yes, yes, I understand you, Veronica," she said sympathizingly. "I know
something of this too. Judith told you the truth, but only one half the
truth. Fortune is grasped by the hands, it is true; but the Fortune which
you long for, that is, Happiness, is to be gained in other ways besides. I
will tell you an instructive little story, and if you will take the
trouble to grasp it, not with your hands, but with your thoughts and
understanding, you will be able to work it out for yourself and get some
profit from it. It is part of the story of my own life. I have had so much
the same experience as yours that I cannot help hoping that what I found
good for myself, may prove good for you."
"When I was about your age, Veronica, I was so unhappy that I cried myself
to sleep every night. Can you guess why? No, for one understands only the
sufferings that he has himself experienced, and cannot imagine those of
others. Well, it was because I was a hunchback! I remember as if it were
yesterday, when I first came to a perception of my misfortune; when I
first learned that I was different from other children, and must remain as
one apart, all my life. We were all coming out of school one day, and a
little quarrel arose between us children, and one of them said to me in a
scornful tone, 'Hold your tongue, Sabina, you're only a hunchback.' From
that day I never knew a happy moment, and I grew timid and avoided every
one; if I saw any one looking at me, I thought he was scoffing at me
because I was a hunchback. I kept away from other children, for if one of
them laughed, I fancied she was laughing at my deformed shoulders. If any
stranger was kind to me, I thought that it was because my hunch had not
yet been seen, and that as soon as it was, kindness would be changed for
contempt. I looked at the figure of every one I met; all were straight
except myself. I felt that I was the most miserable creature in the world,
and I saw no hope of ever being otherwise all my life long. Once one of
the school children died, and all her schoolmates walked in the funeral
procession to the church. I would not walk with them, but hid myself among
the grown people; for every one was looking at the children and I wanted
to escape observation. I heard one woman say to another: 'It is lucky the
child's mother has so much to do; she will have no time to think about her
sorrow, and she will get over it the sooner,' Then it came to me like a
ray of hope, that if I had work to do, I might forget my sorrow too. I
must have work. That very day I begged my mother to let me learn to work.
She was pleased, and sent me to take lessons in sewing, and I followed it
up till I could do all sorts of fine work, and had as much employment as I
could wish. I often heard people say, 'How finely Sabina is getting on!'
But how do you think it was with my spirits? Just as it is with yours now,
Veronica. Oh yes, you needn't look at me so with your great eyes. I know
exactly what you are thinking. You think that my trouble never can have
been equal to yours. People always think that their own sorrows are the
worst. I sat and sewed just as you do--early and late; my work was
perfect; I had no rival. I knew that it was good, and I rejoiced over it
in a half-hearted way; but what good did it do me after all? The thought
that I was a hunchback, was always in my mind. It was like a stream of
troubled water flowing through my heart; it spoiled everything. 'Always
deformed, never like other girls,' I never forgot it for a moment. So it
went on till I was about twenty years old, and then came on the trouble in
my foot, and I was confined to my bed for many months. Oh! how bitterly I
suffered! Was every misfortune to fall on me alone?' I thought. How could
I foresee that this very trouble would turn out to be good fortune for
me?"
"The doctor came to see me constantly; he took as much interest in my case
as if I could have paid him handsomely.
He noticed that I was industrious, that I did not lie idle even when I was
in great pain. It pleased him to find me always with work in my hand. When
at last the acute attack was over, and the doctor told me that this would
be his last visit, he told me also that I was lame for life. At first I
could not walk at all; but bye and bye I learned to use my crutches. When
I offered the doctor the money that was due him for his attendance, he
said we would not speak of that; that we both had to work, but with this
difference, that he was sound and whole, while I was not. He took my hand
kindly, saying that it was hard for me not to be able to take any
amusement after working hard all the week; not to go out with the others
on Sunday; and that if I cared for reading, his wife had a great many nice
books which she would be glad to lend me, and they would make the Sundays
less tedious. I did not really care for reading; I preferred sewing as you
do, but I accepted the doctor's offer and went to his house. His wife was
very kind and gave me a book at once, bidding me come as soon as I had
finished it and get another. I began to read the very next Sunday, and I
became so deeply interested that I scarcely laid the book down all day,
and even during the week I took it up as often as I could find a spare
moment. It was an account of foreign countries and nations; how they
lived, and their manners and customs. I was particularly interested to
read about how the women were treated in different places; how in some
countries they are sold and bartered for cattle or wool or cloth, and how
they belong to their husbands just as if they were furniture, and their
husbands can treat them just as they please, as we do cats or dogs. And in
some places, it said, a wife has to be burned when her husband dies,
because she is only a part of him and has no value of her own after his
death. Oh! how many strange things there are in the world, to be sure! I
became hungry and thirsty for knowledge. The doctor's wife lent me one
book after another, and in each there was something new and wonderful. I
learned how terrible the condition of women had been everywhere until our
own Lord Jesus Christ came into the world, and taught that one soul was
as much worth as another, all equal, man and woman, lord and servant; that
every individual must be free, one as well as another; and that two people
should be joined together only by love, and not as a matter of ownership.
But even now-a-days there are still countries and islands where men make
nothing of killing and eating each other, and the women are bought and
sold like goods. It is only where the influence of Christianity has
penetrated, that there is true equality of womanhood. You can imagine the
flood of new ideas that crowded in upon me as I read, and I assure you
that I was able to forget sometimes for many days that I was a hunchback,
and when I did remember it, the thought had lost its sting. I dwelt upon
the many privations and sufferings of others, till they seemed to outweigh
my own trouble so that it dwindled in my estimation; and gradually I began
to see the good side of my lot. How independently I could live supporting
myself; what a wealth of interest was opened to me through my reading, and
in fact how fortunate I was, and blessed beyond many another! Yes,
Veronica, I can assure you that I am now a happy woman, with a heart
filled with gratitude to the good God for the blessings he has sent me.
And so I say to you, my child, from the fulness of my own experience, that
you have no right to go about looking like a thunder-cloud; you with all
the freshness and beauty of your young life!
Tell me do you owe our Lord God something or is He in debt to you? Have
you nothing to thank him for? Others can see how much you have to look
forward to. Get yourself together, girl, and try to give your thoughts
another direction."
"I should be only too glad to do so," said Veronica, who had listened
intently to every word that Sabina had said. "Have you any such book as
you describe, that you can lend me to read?"
Sabina was well pleased at this request. She had a book close at hand,
which she had just finished reading, and from which she expected great
things for the young girl. Veronica was moved by Sabina's glowing words,
to believe that her future might be happier, and that the clouds of
despondency which had overshadowed her, were about to be dispersed.
She lost no time, for she was in earnest. She opened the book that very
evening, and began to read. But her sanguine expectations were not
fulfilled. She read the words, she understood their meaning; but it was as
if she heard them at a distance and through them all, louder than all
else, sounded something in her ears and in her heart that drowned them. It
was the flow of the troubled waters, as Sabina had said. The waves rose
higher; their noise increased, until Veronica lost all hearing and
understanding of what she was reading. Still she persevered; perhaps
bye-and-bye it would come right. Alas! was not that the house door opening
and shutting again so softly late in the night? She flung the book aside;
walked rapidly back and forth in her chamber for awhile, then unfolded her
sewing, and worked steadily on and on, until the morning broke and a new
day called her to its duties.