Is Mr. HITCHCOCK'S "_Flight into Egypt_" a view of Dartmoor? and what
are all those blue flowers? Borage, blue currants, corn-flowers, "new
broom," gorse dyed blue for this occasion only, or what? I have been
offered all these random suggestions by distinguished critics, but
they somehow don't seem convincing.
Why are the competitors in the charming swimming-match between
Mermaids and Tritons so remarkably _dry_ in the upper parts? I always
get decidedly damp when I enter the sea, but these ladies take to
it like ducks--"_Dux f[oe]mina facti_" (as said an ancient poet in
anticipation)--and so I suppose the water rolls off their backs.
Will "_Her First Offering_" of grass and daisies go far towards
softening the heart of a statuette? Her sister, last year, had a much
more tempting "_Gift for the Gods_," but there is no accounting for
divinities' tastes.
What does Mr. KPOFFNH--dear me, I can _not_ get his name right?--mean
by "_Sous les Arbres?_" Is it a man or a statue, a spook or a symbol?
Why does he wear a marble wig? Why does his brown hair show underneath
it? Why has he got a wall eye? Why is he "under the trees?" Why is
he at large at all? Why---- But there, I give it up! I don't believe
there are any answers to these conundrums!
How is it I've been looking at "_Kit_" for two whole minutes before
realising that there's a Persian cat in the composition? But she's a
real beauty, when you _do_ coax her out of this "puzzle picture."
Why (this is no new query!) have Sir EDWARD BURNE-JONES' Luciferians
and Sleeping Beauties and peeresses and children and brides one and
all the same world-weary expression? Why do they, without exception,
look as if they were off to a funeral, or had just seen themselves
in the glass? Are there no other colours in the land but dull green,
steel-blue, ink-purple, and brick-red? Why do I immediately want to
commit suicide after studying these masterpieces? Why doesn't Psyche
cheer up a bit, even though she _is_ going to be married? _She_ wasn't
a _[Greek: nea gunê]_, I'm sure!
Why does the dog in Mr. HOLMAN HUNT'S picture look as if it had
softening of the brain? and why do I pass on hurriedly to the next
picture?
Will Miss REHAN'S left shoulder hold up her dress much longer, I
wonder, in Mr. SARGENT'S portrait? I don't know, but I _have_ fears!
Is the lady in Mrs. SWYNNERTON'S "_Sense of Sight_" preparing to
catch a cricket ball, or cutting an acquaintance, or going to recite
something? I _should_ like to know.
Why couldn't some enterprising dentist supply the ladies in "_Echoes_"
with false teeth, and why weren't they taken away quietly home,
and not allowed to exhibit their other anatomical innovations? Echo
answers to these and all my queries, "Why, indeed?"
* * * * *
[Illustration: A PROGNOSIS.
"BY THE WAY, DOCTOR, THE 'NEW WOMAN,' DON'TCHERKNOW--WHAT'LL _SHE_ BE
LIKE, WHEN SHE'S GROWN OLD?"
"MY DEAR COLONEL, _SHE_'LL NEVER GROW OLD!"
"GREAT SCOTT! YOU DON'T MEAN TO SAY SHE'S GOING TO LAST FOR EVER!"
"SHE WON'T EVEN LAST OUT THE CENTURY! SHE'S GOT EVERY MALADY UNDER THE
SUN!"]
* * * * *
The Chester Cup.
The _Rock Dove_ don't pooh-pooh,
A dove can make a _coup;_
The odds? You yet may nobble 'em.
'Tis four to one
'Gainst _Son of a Gun_,
But _Euclid_ is a problem.
* * * * *