'I TOLD MY TALE OF WOE.'
I followed the trio as they went rapidly past the Terminal Station,
and halted, laughing inwardly, while Mr. Smug, as I had mentally named
the man whose game I was watching so intently, stood fidgeting before
the great golden door of the Transportation Building waiting for the
sharp-eyed woman to exhaust her ecstasies, and for her more stolid
husband to close his wide-opened mouth and remember his errand to
Midway Plaisance.
As for myself, I could have gazed at this marvel of doorways and have
forgotten all else; and I was not sorry that the small farmeress had a
will of her own, and that this will elected to stay.
Oh, that superb eastern façade! Never before has its like been seen.
Never in such a setting and in such gigantic proportions will we see
it again.
But we left it at last and made a slow and halting progress past
Horticultural Hall on one side and the sunlit lagoon on the other; and
here, overcome by the grandeur of it all, the woman of the party sat
down, with her face toward the water.
''Tain't no kind of use, pa!' she declared loudly. 'I'm goin' to set
down by the lake for a minit; I guess there'll be some two-dollar
bills left in Midway yet when we get there. I've heard tell of them
lovely laggoonses till I'm achin' to see one; and I'm jest goin' to
set right here till one goes by. Land! just see them stone anymals,
and all them old-fashioned stone figgers of folks! 'Pears to me they's
people enough alive and frisky, 'thout stickin' all them stone men
around so dretful lib'ral; though they look well 'nough, fur's I
know.' She cast her eyes all about her, and then beckoned to Smug,
standing uneasily in the rear: 'Say, can't you show me one single
laggoon?'
Smug came nearer, and waved his hand comprehensively toward the
shining waters below them, and southward where a red-sailed Chinese
junk lay at anchor opposite the Transportation Building.
'That is a lagoon, madam,' he said, affably but low.
'Umph! It's no better-lookin' than our old mud scow! Come on, father.'
And they resumed their line of march, but not until in turning to take
a last look at the belittled 'laggoon' her snapping small eyes
encountered mine frowningly, and I said to myself, 'She saw me in the
rotunda; can she suspect that I am following them?'
Contrary to my expectation, she did not call a halt upon entering
Midway, but went straight on, still clutching her spouse by the arm,
while the smug one walked sedately at her farther side; she passed the
divers' exhibit, the beauty congress, the glass displays, and paced
steadily on, her eyes riveted upon a palanquin borne by two waddling
Turks; and when this ancient conveyance had paused before the Turkish
Bazaar, then, and only then, did she pause or take further heed.
As the bearers gently lowered the chair, and stood beside it at ease,
she snatched her hand from her husband's arm, and hurrying towards
the front, peered within the curtained box.
'Land of gracious!' she ejaculated, 'and I s'posed they was carrying
one of them harums, no less, in the outlandish thing!' Then, stooping
to read with near-sighted eyes the legend, 'One hour 75 cents,
one-half hour 50 cents, ten minutes 15 cents,' she turned again to her
better-half: 'Come, pa, let's get that change right quick; I'm goin'
to ride in that thing if I drop out through the bottom.'
There was a crowd in the Turkish Bazaar, but our smug friend led the
way to an angle of the building where the hawkers were unusually busy,
and I drew near enough to see that he was now looking covertly all
about him, and for a little seemed at a loss.
'Kum-all-ong! Kume-mol-o-ng! Ku-m-m-m!'
The shrill long-drawn-out cry caused him to turn suddenly, and to
elbow his way, with his prey at his heels, toward a small railed-in
space, wherein, seated on a Turkish ottoman, a little higher than the
genuine, was a swarthy man with beetling brows, big rolling black
eyes, and a fierce moustache bristling underneath a hooked nose. He
wore a red fez, much askew, and his American trousers and waistcoat
were enlivened by a tennis-sash of orange and red and a smoking-coat
faced with vivid green. He was smoking a decorated Turkish
pipe--'Toor-kaish,' he called it--and a low table and sundry decorated
boxes and packages were his sole stock-in-trade.
'Kum-all-ong! he reiterated. 'Kum-e see-e me-e-e smoke! Easy--so--no
noise; so! Soo-vy-nee-yra; Toor-kaish soo-vy-nee-yr matches!' At every
pause a 'soo-vy-nee-yr match' was struck, deftly and without noise,
and a big puff of smoke was sent circling above his head.
'Bah!' exclaimed Mrs. Rustic, turning away, 'if you've brought me here
just to see a Turkey man smoke a big pipe, Adam Camp, you may jest
take me home ag'in.'
A shout of laughter followed this sally, and as she turned away I
fancied that I saw a quick look exchanged between the man of the pipe
and our smug guide. Whether this were true or not, I observed that
Smug no longer seemed eager to hasten them onward, and I saw another
thing--the woman, in turning from the man of the souvenir matches, had
once more fixed her eye, through a sudden opening in the crowd, upon
myself; and immediately after she had whispered something in the ear
of her spouse, which something he soon after repeated, or so I
fancied, to his kind friend Smug.
I had followed them, trusting to the crowd and my skill as an 'artful
dodger,' up to this moment quite closely; but I now fell back, and
withdrew myself a little distance from the aisle where all three were
now loitering, the woman examining with wondering eyes marvellous
Turkish slippers with turned-up toes, and olive-wood beads and
bracelets, proffered by fierce Mohammedans in baggy trousers and
tasselled fez, or by swarthy, oily-skinned girls with bushy hair and
garments of Oriental colouring, or in tailor-made gowns, and with the
ubiquitous fez as a badge of their office--or servitude; rugs and
draperies, attar of roses in gilded vials, souvenir spoons, filigree
in gilt and silver, toys of unknown form and name, cloying Turkish
sweets, foreign stamps, coins, relics, all came under her
unsophisticated eyes, while her spouse gazed upon Moorish daggers,
swords of strange workmanship, saddles and stirrups of singular form,
and much strange gear and gay trappings, the use of which he could
never have guessed but for the learned explanations of his now
carelessly amiable guide.
They had gazed so long that I had begun to grow impatient and to
wonder how this tame chase would end, when the trio drew up at a point
where the long arcade turns sharply to right and left, and where at
one of the intersections a vendor of singularly-carved canes and
sticks was mounted upon a stool draped with Oriental rugs, and so
high and slender that one looked to see the occupant topple and fall
from moment to moment. He was a brown-faced fellow of small stature
and as lithe as an Indian, and he was juggling recklessly with a pair
of grotesque carven sticks, crying the while:
'He-ur you-ur ur! He-ur you-ur-ur! Soo-vy-neer! Soo-vy-neer! Gen-oo-ine
Teer-keesh--gen-oo-ine! Come-mon! come-mon! Teerkeesh--gen-oo-ine; only
tree doll-yeer!'
A smart young man, breathing of opulence in air and attire, came
briskly forward and held up his hand to receive both sticks, with a
harlequin bow from the dark-eyed Oriental, who wore a spruce black
broadcloth suit, in honour of America, and a red fez, in loyalty,
doubtless, to the land of the Sultan; and then my interest became
suddenly and widely awake.
The youth chose between the two canes, and handed up in payment a worn
five-dollar bill, and after a feint at searching for the correct
amount the man of the fez bent down and placed in his hand a crisp new
two-dollar banknote; at the same moment, almost, friend Smug touched
the arm of Farmer Camp, and I saw the two turn their heads toward the
southern wing. I had made my way so near them that I could hear the
words of the farmer, who evidently had no subdued tones, and after a
long look toward the south entrance I heard him say:
'That him? Why, he looks like one of these fellers!'
And then I saw his guide's lips moving, and caught the final words,
'an educated Oriental.' In another moment he had moved hurriedly
forward and put out his hand to stop the man who, with head very
erect, and crowned with a black and gold embroidered fez, was coming
toward him, but with eyes levelled upon the active young man upon the
lofty stool. He wore a severe suit of black, relieved upon the breast
of the close-buttoned Prince Albert coat by a blue satin badge,
bearing upon its upper half a silver-gilt souvenir half-dollar, and
upon the lower portion a tiny fac-simile of a Government banknote.
He paused as the smug young man addressed him, and looked into his
face, at first with indifference, almost amounting to annoyance, then
with growing recognition, and finally with a bland and condescending
smile. He wore a long and flowing beard, and the black cloth fez,
unlike the red one, was not rakishly set on; but I recognised him at
once.
It was the man with the 'soo-vy-neer matches,' quickly and deftly
metamorphosed to escape the unobservant or untrained eye, but the
same, notwithstanding. And now my interest grew apace. I knew that at
last we were in the presence of that powerful official who dispensed
virgin two-dollar notes to the unwitting foreigner or native; and Adam
Camp was about to be mulcted.
I had formed no plan of action. I had been interested, first, in the
welfare of Adam Camp, and then the mention of these new Government
two-dollar bills had aroused in me the desire, stronger for the moment
than any other, to see this 'agent' whose duty it was to make easy the
path of the stranger and alien in our midst.
And now our smug friend demonstrated his ability to do quick work when
occasion required.
Throwing caution to the winds, I drew close behind the woman, and
heard the introduction of Camp and the case stated briefly.
Smug had ventured to bring this chance acquaintance, etc., who desired
a like favour to that conferred upon himself not long since. Mr. Camp
desired to exchange a banknote, say ten or twenty dollars, perhaps,
for smaller bills, for convenience at the Fair, etc.
The man of the badge looked closely at Farmer Camp, who was bowing
like a mandarin, and then back at his spouse.
'You can vouch for this person?' he asked with a touch of severity,
and in excellent English.
'Pardon me; we are mere passing acquaintances, but I should think----'
He of the badge drew himself up with a stately gesture.
'We are not permitted to judge for ourselves,' he said; 'our
Government require some sort of voucher, as, for instance, a bank
certificate, cheque-book, even a receipt or letter.'
Before Farmer Camp could pull himself together and reply, his wife
interfered, taking a swift step forward.
'If you want dockyments, mister,' she said tartly, 'I guess I kin
supply 'em. I've brought our weddin' stiffykit, and our letters from
the church to Neeponsit, and our fire insurance papers.' She laid a
suggestive satin-gloved hand upon her bosom and tossed her head. 'I
didn't count on nobody's takin' us to be anybody else when I brung
'em, but I didn't want 'em lost, case of fire or anything.'
The 'agent' put up a remonstrant hand, and Camp hastened to produce a
letter from his brother in Nebraska, which was gracefully accepted;
and so overpowered was Camp at so much condescension that he opened a
plump wallet--carried in a breast pocket high up, and evidently of
home manufacture--and drew from it, after some deliberation and a
whispered word with his wife, a one hundred dollar bill.
'I guess we might jest as well break that.' He was extending the bill,
and the hand of the now eager agent was outstretched to grasp it, when
I stepped quickly to his side.
'Pardon me, sir,' I said, with my best air. 'Could you tell me where
the bank is located? I am told that there is one on the grounds.' The
four pairs of eyes were full upon me, and I knew that by three of
them I was recognised. 'I am anxious to get some money changed,' I
went on glibly, but with a meaning glance at the 'agent,' 'to buy some
souvenir matches down here, and I'm told there's counterfeit money
circulating here.'
I was playing a bluff game, and I knew it, for as yet I had not
secured my credentials; but when I saw the swart face of the sham
agent change to a sickly yellow, and Smug begin to draw back and look
anxiously from left to right, I was inwardly triumphant; but, alack!
it is only in fiction that the clever detective always has the best of
it, and at this moment there came an unexpected diversion.
Camp still stood with the bill in his hand, open-mouthed and evidently
puzzled; and now his wife, who had drawn closer and was peering into
my face, turned upon him quickly.
'Adam Camp, put up that money!' she cried. 'I know this feller; I seen
him talkin' to you back there by the Administration Buildin'; and he's
been watchin' and follerin' us ever sence. I know him! In another
minute he would 'a' grabbed your money and run for it.'
There was a sudden movement, a shifting of positions, a mingling of
exclamations and accusations, with the woman's tongue still wagging
shrilly, and heard through all. People crowded about us and a brace of
Columbian guards came hurrying up.
'What is it?'
'Anyone been robbed?'
Instantly the hands of Smug and his confederate began to slap and dig
into their pockets, while the woman answered eagerly:
'All on us, like enough! He's a pickpocket or a confidence man. I seen
him follerin' us. I've kep' an eye on him.' And then came a cry from
Smug.
'My wallet!'
He turned upon me, calling wildly to the guards, 'Search him!'
Into my nearest pocket went a gloved hand, and when it came out,
there, sure enough, was a brown leather wallet.
'Here it is!' cried one.
'Lord-a-massy!'
'I told you so!'
'Run him in!'
I was the centre of a small bedlam, and I shut my lips tightly and
inwardly cursed my interest in all rustics, and particularly the
Camps. I was fairly trapped. I saw my position, and held my peace,
while the two rascals told their tale, making sure by their volubility
that the Camps did not tell theirs. Only as the two guards, one on
either side, turned to lead me away, I said to Smug, 'We shall meet
again, my fine decoy;' and to the sham agent as I passed him, 'Better
stick to your matches, my friend.'
Inwardly chafing, I marched through the crowd between my two captors,
bringing them to a momentary halt as we came abreast of the place
where the souvenir matches were hawked, and seeing there, as I had
anticipated, a new face beneath the red fez.
Then I spoke to my captors:
'Men, you have made a mistake for which I can't blame you. Take me
before your chief at once, and I will not only prove this, but make it
worth your while to be civil.'
For answer the two merely exchanged glances, and hurried me on, and,
convinced of the uselessness of further remonstrance until I had
reached someone in authority, I strode on silently.
At the entrance to the great animal show there was a dense crowd, and
for a moment we were brought to a halt. Standing upon the edge of the
mass of bobbing bonnets and heaving shoulders, I could see in the
midst of the throng two Turkish-fezzed heads wildly dodging and
struggling toward us, and a moment later a full bass voice called
impatiently:
'Go ahead! Get out of this, can't you?'
I started at the sound of the big, impatient voice, and stood with my
eyes riveted upon the spot from whence it seemed to come. A moment
later the two red heads had emerged from the crowd, and with them a
sedan-chair, which, evidently, they found no easy load. As they
shuffled past me I started again, so violently that my two captors
caught at me with restraining hands.
At the same instant there was a quick exclamation from the swinging
chair and a peremptory order to halt.
'Masters, I say! Stop, you infernal heathens! Stop, I say! Open this
old chicken-coop and let me out!'
As the astonished Turks slowly and with seeming reluctance set down
their chair and liberated their prisoner, my guards made a forward
movement.
'Stop, you fellows!' called the newcomer, in the same peremptory tone.
'Where are you going with that man?'
As he flung himself from the chair he tossed a coin to the bearers,
and promptly placed himself squarely in the way of my two guards.
'Masters,' he began, 'what in the name of wonder----'
'He's our prisoner,' broke in one of my captors; and at the word Dave
Brainerd threw back his head and laughed as only Dave could, seeing
which my indignant escort made another forward movement.
'Stop, you young--donkeys!' Dave threw back his coat, and at sight of
the symbol upon his inner lapel the two young men became suddenly and
respectfully stationary. 'Now,' panted Dave, still shaken with
merriment, 'w-what has he done?'
I stood silent, enjoying somewhat my guards' evident doubt, and
willing to let Dave enjoy to the full this joke at my expense, and
after a moment's hesitation one of the guards replied:
'He picked a pocket, they say.'
'Oh, they do? Well, my young friends, I can't blame you much; he is a
suspicious-looking chap, but really he's quite harmless. You can turn
him over to me with a clear conscience. I'll run him in.' And he
laughed again, and tapped his coat-lapel. 'Really, boys, you've made a
regular blunder. This pal of mine is entitled to wear this same badge
of _aristocracy_, only he seems to have wandered out for once without
his credentials. How did it happen, Carl?'
But now my impatience broke out afresh, and I turned to the guards.
'Look here,' I said hurriedly, 'those two fellows who called you up
and pretended to be robbed are fine workers, and I believe
counterfeiters. I was watching them while they were roping that old
countryman. If you want to repair a blunder, go back, see if you can
trace the men, or the old man and his wife, and report to your chief.'
They were very willing to go; and when we were free from them my
friend indulged in another long and hearty laugh at my expense.
'Jove! Carl, but it's the richest thing out--that you, a crack
detective, coming here with extraordinary rights and privileges,
should be nabbed by a couple of these young college lads at the very
beginning; it's too funny. How did it happen? Who caused your arrest?'
'An old woman,' said I shortly, feeling that the fun was quite too
one-sided. But seeing the absurdity of it all, and knowing that Dave
would have it all out of me sooner or later, I drew him out of the
crowd, and under the shadow of the viaduct just behind us, and
standing as much as possible aloof from the throng, I told my 'tale of
woe.'
Before I had reached the end Dave was his serious self once more--a
detective alert and keen.
'You are sure,' he began eagerly, 'that the old farmer was not one of
them?'
I smiled, thinking of Mrs. Camp and the 'laggoons.'
'Perfectly sure. It was the old woman's quick eyes that did for me,' I
replied; 'she had seen me once too often, and her suspicions were on
the alert. I dare say she saw a "confidence man" in every person who
came suspiciously near them, but a woman pal could not have played one
whit better into their hands.'
Dave made a sudden start. 'Look here,' he said, 'I'm going to try for
a look at those fellows! I've got a sort of feeling that they may
belong to our gang, some of them--that match-vender now; the other,
your smug friend, is too short, as you describe him, to be either of
our men; but the agent, and that fellow with the canes--describe them
a little more in detail, but be quick, too; and the old folks--of
course they're taken in and done for before now; but I'd like to meet
that old woman, just on your account. I'm going straight to that
Turkish village; and you?' He began to laugh again.
'Oh, I'm going back to the Administration Building,' I said with a
grimace, 'as soon as I've described your men for you. I don't feel
inclined to wander about this mysterious and dangerous White City any
more until I am fitted out with a trade-mark. It is not safe--for me.'
Five minutes later Dave was on his way to the scene of my absurd
escapade, and I was hastening back to the place which I never should
have left until I had made my bow before the 'man in authority,' and
had been duly provided with the voucher which would open for me all
doors and command the aid or obedience of guards, guides, etc.; until,
in fact, I had been duly enrolled, and had taken rank as one of the
'specials,' who went and came at will and reported at pleasure or at
need.
On my way I soundly berated myself for my folly in venturing so
recklessly and without authority to interfere in behalf of a sheep,
when besieged by wolves, and in danger of losing no more than his
fleece.
I had lost all interest in Farmer Camp, and felt not a spark of
philanthropy in my whole being.
But the White City was a place of surprises, and Farmer Camp and I
were destined to meet again.
As I approached the viaduct which separated the Midway Plaisance from
the World's Fair proper, with my mind thus out of tune, and was about
to pass under, a sharp guttural cry close beside me caused me to turn
quickly about.
'Ta-ka ca-ar-h! La-dee, la-dee!'
'Ah--h--h!'
The first cry, or warning, came from the throat of a grinning Turk,
one of a number of palanquin-bearers, and the last from the lips of a
tall golden-haired girl who had been walking somewhat slowly, and
quite alone, just before them, in the path she had chosen to take and
to keep without swerving. There were half a dozen of them pattering
along in line between their vacant swinging palanquins, and they had
evidently learned that, being a 'part of the show,' they might claim
and keep the right of way.
The rascally Turk had uttered his cry of warning without in the least
slackening his shuffling trot, and as the lady uttered the single
frightened syllable, I saw that one of the poles in the bearer's hands
had struck her with such force as to send her reeling toward me.
Throwing out one hand for her support, I thrust back the now surly
bearer with the other with such force as to throw him back upon his
poles and bring the whole cavalcade to a momentary halt. At the same
time a guard came up and ordered a turn to the right.
'You fellows are not running in a tramway, Mr. Morocco, and you'll
find yourselves switched on to a side-track if you try the monopoly
business on free American citizens--see!' The last word, emphasized
with a sharp shove to the right, was easily comprehended by the
glowering sons of Allah, and they moved on, silent, but darting black
glances from under their heavy brows.
Meanwhile the fair one had recovered her poise and dignity, and
thanked me, in the sweetest of voices, for my slight assistance, and I
had found time to note that she was more than a merely pretty blonde.
At that moment I was sure that I had never seen a more charming face,
though she gave me only a glimpse of it; and when she turned away, and
the crowd about us, attracted for the moment, separated again into its
various elements, I stood gazing after her for a moment as stupidly as
the veriest schoolboy smitten at sight of his first love, and then,
turning to go my way, and letting my eyes fall to the ground, I saw
just at my feet a small leather bag, or what is called by the ladies a
'reticule.' It lay upon the very spot where the young lady had been so
rudely jostled, and I picked it up and turned to look after her. She
had disappeared in the crowd, and after following the way she had
taken for two or three blocks, and finding the crowd more dense and
the trail hopelessly lost, I turned at last and went back, bestowing
the little reticule in my largest pocket, and gradually bringing my
thoughts back to my own affairs, and those of Greenback Bob and the
rascal Delbras.