Now that most of us are on the point of escaping into civil life, the
relentless department to whom the W.O. entrusted the stewardship of
Army blankets is calling us to strict account as to our dealings with
these articles.
Between us and freedom rise the accusing phantoms of blankets we
signed for and failed to return, blankets we misused as carpets,
curtains and table-cloths. The bright dawn of the new era is overcast
by their threatening shadow.
The A.A.L.R.B.G.S.--Acting-Assistant Local Recorder of Blankets
General Service, a very important Hat indeed--some time last winter
paid us a visit and went away without complaint. We had specialised
in cherishing Blankets G.S. For fear of loss or damage none had been
issued for use, and the enthusiasm of all ranks was so warm that the
men were glad to sleep without them, if only they might go and see
for themselves the full tally of blankets folded correctly to a
hair's-breadth and piled irreproachably and unapproachably in the
stores.
Then, three days ago, arrived a chit asking us to explain a curt
quotation from the report of the A.A.L.R.B.G.S., to the effect that
"_There was a blanket on the table
in the store_."
By a civilian this might be interpreted as a word of praise for our
care of the table or for the comfortable _tout ensemble_ of the
Quartermaster-Sergeant's treasure-house; but we know better. We read
it with the sensations of a householder who, after the call of a
Scotland Yard official, should be invited to explain, in an otherwise
satisfactory account of his visit, the sentence--
"_There was a corpse in the boot
cupboard_."
It suggested criticism, suspicion, disapproval. In his dilemma the
O.C. replied as follows:--
"Owing to the fact that, in view of the paper scarcity, the keeping
of Individual History Sheets for the Blankets under my command was
discontinued early in the War, I have found it difficult to collect
evidence. I beg, however, to submit the likeliest explanations that
offer.
"(1) Possibly the blanket was placed on the table, folded and
compressed beneath the weight of the various utensils, literature and
stationery necessary to the functioning of a B.Q.M.S., in order
that the correct regimental wrinkles, as laid down in the various
handbooks, might be made and maintained; the blanket to be used as a
model at lectures to young soldiers on the care of equipment.
"(2) The distance between the Main Blanket Dump and the table under
suspicion is only four feet. It is in the experience of all familiar
with conditions in the Field that blankets with long service
frequently develop extreme activity. I beg to suggest that the blanket
in question may have absented itself without leave from the main dump
and proceeded as far as the table by its own locomotive power.
"(3) About the date of the inspection the name of an N.C.O. was
submitted with a recommendation for the O.B.E., but was withdrawn on
compassionate grounds. I cannot trust my memory, but possibly the
justification of this recommendation was the N.C.O.'s zealous care of
the property of H.M. THE KING, in that he sacrificed his own blanket
for the welfare of the table." (On paper, of course, our blankets are
issued in the normal way.) "The weather at the time was inclement,
either (_a_) wet and dirty or (_b_) extremely cold. The N.C.O. was
determined that this table should be protected from the deleterious
effects of (_a_) moisture likely to result from the vicinity of the
Q.M.S., damp from out-door duties or (_b_) very low temperature, which
is known to injure such articles of furniture.
"(4) The blanket may have been known to be likely to try to escape
from custody, and have been placed conspicuously on the table so as to
be directly under the observation of the Q.M.S.
"(5) The table may have intended illegally to absent itself without
leave, and have concealed itself beneath the accused blanket in the
hope of eluding the vigilance of the sentries, disguised as a civilian
table, i.e. covered with a table-cloth. This theory is unlikely, the
table bearing an excellent character and never having been known to
attempt desertion or be in any way guilty of conduct contrary to good
order and military discipline.
"(6) The Storeman--now demobilised and dispersed--may have committed
the irregularity suggested, with the idea of increasing the amenity
of the stores during the inspection, as a humble compliment to the
A.A.L.R.B.G.S.
"(7) No. 55,442, Procter, Mary, a member of the Q.M.A.A.C., may be
correct in her statement that the article described as a 'blanket' was
not a blanket, but a rug, travelling. She says she is 'in a position
to know this,' as the article is her own property, and supports the
claim by demonstrating the presence of her initials embroidered across
one corner.
"I await your reply." And so we all do.
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