Ever since that unfortunate affair in which the mother of mankind was
so prominently concerned, the female sex might say, with Shylock,
'Sufferance is the badge of all our tribe.' They are, in fact, an
incarnation of the Passive Voice--no mistake about it. 'Ah, gentle
dames, it gars me greet,' as Burns pathetically says, to think on all
the hardships and oppressions which you have undergone throughout the
course of history, political and domestic. It is most wonderful that
you can bear up your heads at all in the world. Most assuredly it
could not be done except under favour of some inherent principle of
fortitude, quite beyond all that your associate, Man, has ever
displayed. For this reason, I propose to fix upon you the honourable
style and title of the Martyr Sex.
As insanity is the more affecting when we observe its victim to be
unconscious of the visitation, so does my heart bleed most
particularly for the Martyr Sex, when I observe them undergoing severe
oppressions without knowing it. So natural is suffering to the sex, or
so accustomed are they to it, that they subject themselves
spontaneously to enormous loads of trouble and torture, which no one
would think of imposing upon them, and which they might easily avoid.
It might almost be said, that suffering has a sort of fascination for
them, drawing them placidly into it, whether they will or not. It
seems in some mysterious way wrought up with their entire destiny.
Hence, at no period of the history of the Sex, do we find them free
from some form of amateur affliction. At one time, it is one part of
their persons, at another time, another, which is subjected to
voluntary distress--but always some part. Not that the shifting is, so
far as can be seen, designed as a measure of relief; it would rather
appear the object simply is--to make every part bear its share in
turn, and allow none to escape. Thus, about a hundred years ago, a
lady went about with shoes that raised her heels three inches above
the floor, and threw her whole person out of its proper balance,
occasioning, of course, a severe strain upon certain muscles, attended
by constant pain. A little later, her feet might have been found
restored to their right level; but, as if to make up for this, and
allow no interval of misery, a tower of hair, pomatum, flour, pins,
and pinners, had been reared on the head, such as an inquisitor might
have considered himself very ingenious in devising, as a means of
undoing the convictions of heretics, or bringing round a Jew to
Christianity. Verily, it was a most portentous enginery for the
affliction of female humanity; but how heroically it was endured! A
whole generation bore it without a sigh! It often cost them their
night's rest merely to get it properly put in order--for, dressing
being in those days very elaborate, the attendants had to prepare some
ladies one day for a party that was to take place the next. They would
sit, however, in a chair all night, in order to preserve the structure
in all its integrity, sleeping only by snatches, and often waking in
terror lest something might be going wrong. Talk of the martyrs of
science--Galileo in prison, Bruno at the stake. These men had
something of importance in view to sustain them in their trials. Give
me the Martyr Sex, who sacrifice ease and convenience, without having
any adventitious principle whatever to compensate for and support them
under their sufferings.
In more recent times, we have seen the entire Sex submitting to
torture in a middle ground--namely, the waist--with an equal degree of
magnanimity. The corsets also formed an engine which would have
perfectly fitted the purposes of the Inquisition; indeed, there were
some ingenious devices of the Holy Office which did not greatly differ
from it. It might almost shake the common-sense of admiration for
martyrial sufferings, to find that every little girl in England was
for some years both able and willing to endure a regular torture,
without apparently having the least idea of making any merit by her
patience. Present pains, possible consequences--such as red noses, bad
breath, permanent ill health, death itself--were made light of. There
being no imaginable good end to be served by it, was nothing to the
point. The corsets were, for a time, a proud symbol of the martyr
power of the Sex. You would see an example set forth in each
milliner's window, carefully disposed under a glass-shade, as
indicating the pride they felt in it as a sort of badge of honour. It
is to be hoped that a few special copies will be preserved in our
antiquarian museums, and, if possible, they should be such as can be
certified to have killed their wearers, in order to shew to future
generations what the women of our age could submit to _in that
particular line_--not _generally_ of course, for it is to be expected
that the women of the future will have equal sufferings in some other
walk to boast of.
It is not always, indeed, that the Sex have a master torment, like
tight stays, to endure; but certainly they are never without some
source of either anguish or inconvenience to keep their martyr power
in exercise. For one thing, they are sadly afflicted with over-large
shoes. Strange to say, though there are artists pretending to be
ladies' shoemakers, the sex never get shoes sufficiently small. Every
now and then, they are receiving some monstrous affront, in the form
of a pair of shoes that might hold sufficient meal for a pudding
besides their feet. From this cause flow certain pains and penalties
in the form of corns and bunions, insuring that they shall never take
a step in life without being reminded of the doom of suffering which
has been passed upon them. To speak of the simple incommodations which
they suffer from dress were endless. At one time, they are all blown
out into sleeve, so that a miscellaneous dinner-party looks like a
series of men and women with feather-beds stuck between each pair. At
another time, the sleeve, while moderate in the region of the upper
arm, is fashioned wide at the bottom, as if to allow of the fair
wearers laughing in it--the joke, however, being all against
themselves, seeing that the pendulous part is a source of continual
trouble and worry, from its trailing through every sauce and tart that
may be at table, till it becomes a kind of geological phenomenon, in
the illustration which it affords of the succession of deposits and
incrustations. Or the swelling falls mainly into a lower part of the
dress, taking the form of a monstrous prolongation of skirts, and
insuring that the fair Martyrs shall act as scavengers upon every
street in which they promenade. I hardly know a more interesting sight
than that of a young lady going to school on a wet day, with books to
carry in one hand, and an umbrella to sustain in the other. To see the
struggles she makes in such circumstances to keep her skirts from
dragging in the mud, or the patience with which she submits to their
unavoidably doing so, and to think of the sad condition of her lower
extremities all the time--to reflect, moreover, that all this trouble
and suffering could be avoided by merely having skirts of a
sufficient, but not over-sufficient length--presents such an affecting
picture of evils voluntarily encountered and heroically sustained, as
but rarely occurs in the course of human life. It is justly held as a
strong proof of patience, that you should calmly submit to be spat
upon, or have mud thrown upon you by some infuriated crowd; but here
is a gentle creature who literally goes out every day to endure the
certain contact of these nuisances, and comes home to dinner not in
much better plight than one who has sat (unpopularly) in the pillory
for an hour. I really must give such martyrdom the meed of my
admiration; and the more so, that I feel myself, under the hardening
effects of worldly common-sense, totally unprepared to go through such
hardships without some useful end to be served by it.
The last example of what may be called the Martyrdom of Inconvenience
which the Sex have shewn, is to be found in a form of bonnet adapted
for summer wear, in which the front comes only to about an inch behind
the forehead, so as to leave the face fully exposed to the attacks of
the sun (when there is one) and the unmitigated gaze of the beaux.
There is something very remarkable in this fashion, for a great number
of ladies find it absolutely indispensable to add to this abbreviation
of a bonnet a sort of supplement of silk called an _ugly_, wherewith
to screen the face from becoming an absolute photograph. A couple of
inches added to the bonnet itself would serve the end; but this would
give a regular and not inelegant protection. It would, therefore,
entirely prevent inconvenience, and so thwart the Sex in their
martyrial propensities. Such a thing is not to be thought of. On the
contrary, either to suffer from sunlight without an _ugly_, or to
suffer from clumsiness with one, enables the unfortunate Sex to
indulge in its favourite passion to the fullest extent possible in
such cases. Admirable portion of creation! what merits are yours, what
praise is called for fully to requite you! But, indeed, it must be
quite impossible ever to make sufficient acknowledgment of that
wonderful power of endurance for its own sake which you shew in the
most trivial, as in the most important phases of life!
I therefore quit the subject with a humiliating sense of my utter
incompetency to do it entire justice. I weep and wonder--my very soul
thrills with the pathos of woman's martyr position on the earth and
her volunteer sufferings above all. But I would vainly attempt to
utter all I feel. I must leave it to each bearded fellow-creature, as
he walks through the wilderness of this world, to behold with a
sympathising eye and spirit an endurance so affecting, and endeavour
to compensate it, to the individual sufferers within his reach, by
every consolation and every reward he may have it in his power to
bestow.