THE BATTLE GROWS FIERCER
At that time the Lord began to prepare Mrs. Lü's heart through dreams
and visions, as is so often His way in heathen countries. Once after
her husband had forbidden her to have idols and burn incense in his
house, she was sitting alone in the evening, feeling dejected and
forlorn, and sadly counting her beads to herself. At last she grew too
weary to continue and sought her pillow. That night she dreamed that
some one she had never seen before came to her, put his foot on her
breast, and said, "And still you will continue to recite your prayers
to Buddha!" She awoke terrified, and for a long time was unable to
shake off the fear that had laid hold of her heart.
Another time one of the Biblewomen had been telling her about the Lord
being the great Physician, and that He was able to heal her from the
infirmities she had had since the time she had been working too hard
for her strength. When she went to rest that evening she dreamed that
she saw a rope, in the shape of a circle, swinging between heaven and
earth, and on it an old man was standing. After a while he came close
up to her, and said, "Trust me, I have come to heal you." When she
awoke, she was wondering if it was God who had appeared to her in a
vision.
Time after time, when we visited Kucheng, she would tell us of her
experiences, her dreams and visions, her fears and conflicts. Night
after night she would dream that somebody was setting meat and fish
before her, tempting her to eat, whilst she turned away determined not
to be tempted, not to defile herself, not to lose the merit she had
stored up for herself all these many years. Day and night her mind was
in confusion. She dreaded the night with its visions, and could not
welcome the day that would only bring her unrest. In her agony she
cried out, "No, I will never go back. I will be steadfast to the very
end, and keep my vow till death. Others may walk their different ways,
but no one shall make me change. I have never doubted, have never been
vacillating, and am not going to be so now."
Oh! how she longed for peace, but none came to end all her struggles,
for they only increased. But God had chosen her for Himself, and could
not give her heart rest until it rested in Him for whom it was made.
But she did not see that all her struggles were "cords of love" with
which the Father was trying to draw her to Himself. One day she said
to me, "If you only knew what I suffer. But it is impossible to put
into words what I have been passing through. It is as if two mighty
powers were fighting about me, and I am just torn between the two."
"Quite true," we answered; "two great Powers, God and the Devil, are
fighting for you; both want you, but God will conquer." It was pitiful
to behold her sufferings. We had never seen any conflict like it in
China, and our heart cried out to the Lord for the deliverance which we
knew must surely come.
The following day she spoke again about her two dreams. She dreamed
that with many others she went to worship a removed idol, the one she
had so often looked upon with awe in her childhood days. One after
another went to kneel down before the idol, worshipping it, and praying
for health and happiness. But when, after some time of patient
waiting, her turn came, something strange happened. She was just about
to kneel down, when the idol took off his hat, and showed her his head,
which was bald from a loathsome skin disease. He told her he was false
all through, and she was not to worship him. Why should he reveal to
her what he had hidden from the other worshippers? When she awoke she
kept pondering over the meaning of it all.
Another dream was that she was trying to settle a quarrel, and in doing
so received a wound in her leg. She looked down to where the cut was,
and to her horror she saw no flesh revealed, but only straw. She
examined it closely, but it seemed to be the same all through; she had
nothing but straw inside, and she turned from the sight that had met
her eyes in horror and despair. She was not able to get away from that
dream, feeling quite sure that it had some special teaching in it for
her, and she turned to the writer to help her understand what it might
mean. Recognizing that the dream was from God, that He was teaching
her through these visions, we lifted our heart to God in prayer. We
were standing beside a stack of straw in Mrs. Lü's yard. Pulling out
one straw, and showing it to her, we said, "Do you see that straw?
Now, how much is it worth? You just touch it and it is broken. There
is no real value in it. Suppose you take a match and set fire to this
whole stack of straw, in a few minutes all would be burned up, nothing
but ashes would remain. As with this straw, so will it be with all the
merit you think you have stored up for the life to come. The Word of
God says that everything which is not built on Christ as the foundation
is wood, hay, and stubble, and shall be burned up. So all your
supposed merit will vanish when the day of reckoning comes. There is
no real, lasting value in it; it will all be burned up, only the ashes
will remain, and you will have nothing with which to appear before God.
But all that is built on Christ Jesus will abide."
This interpretation may not appeal to Western minds, but it made a deep
impression on Mrs. Lü, and we believe it was the message God meant for
her. That night she came again to the meeting. She could stay away no
longer, the time of her deliverance was drawing nigh.