cold, long before my accustomed visit. I was grieved and disappointed at
not finding James, and sorry to see the anxiety and grief of the mother
and sweetheart. The clouds had now covered the whole sky; the darkness
was intense; the wind blew with a piercing keenness, and snow had begun
to fall fast, and drift along the waste. I gave them all the comfort I
could, and retired, promising to call again in the morning--having in
vain urged them to retire to rest; and, upon my return next day, I
learned that, after my departure, they continued to watch--going
repeatedly out to examine the state of the weather, or beguiled by the
shaking of the door struck by the blast, and thinking some one tried the
latch. Still no one came--hour after hour passed on--their humble supper
stood untouched--the fears of the mother were expressed in wailings and
ejaculatory prayers for his safety; and Jeanie's expressive countenance
betrayed the anxiety under which she laboured. Their evening devotions
were made with pious hope--their usual hour of retiring to rest had long
gone by; yet neither thought of sleep--for all that was most dear on
earth to them was, they feared, exposed to the pitiless storm, and they
still sat by the fire, shrinking at every gust of wind, as if it had
struck themselves, while the candle burned on the window-sill, a beacon
to guide the wanderer. At length the door opened, and a thin,
weather-beaten figure staggered in, and sank upon the floor, exhausted
and senseless. The anticipated joyful meeting was one of anguish and
alarm. Care and assiduity restored the soldier to warmth and animation;
and hope and joy succeeded to fear and grief. James had come from London
to Leith in one of the smacks; and, after leaving Haddington, anxious to
reach his mother's as soon as possible, had left the highway, and struck
into the country, over the Lammermuir Hills, by a route dear and
familiar to him; and, being some miles shorter, chosen as much for the
sake of former recollections, which were crowding upon him at every
step, as for its shortness. The day was clear and bracing when he left
Haddington, and all induced him to follow this route; but he had
miscalculated his strength, and the shades of evening overtook him in
the middle of the mountains. The sky began to lour, and threatened a
storm. Ere he had reached the heights, the snow fell fast, the wind and
drift threatened to overwhelm him, and all around became one
undistinguishable chaos. He could recognise no mark by which to know
whether he was in the right track or not. Confused and bewildered, but
not dismayed, he stood still for a few minutes, to collect his energies;
and having recalled to his recollection that the wind blew from the
direction in which he wished to proceed, he started afresh, and battled
with the storm, till at length he recognised a well-remembered cairn on
the heights, against which he stumbled, and of which he gained his
knowledge only by groping; for it was so dark that he could not see his
own hand a few inches from his face. Having felt it round and round, he
came to the broad, flat stone on the southern side, the shepherd's dial,
which gave a thrill of hope to his breast, like a glimpse of the polar
star to the tempest-tossed mariner. Starting anew, and still keeping his
face to the biting blast, again he stumbled upon a cairn, and felt it
round and round; and, to his surprise and regret, found it to be the
same. Disappointed and confused, he started afresh--twice he struggled
round the same circle upon the heights, each time adding to the
despondency that began to steal upon him, till, exhausted and almost
hopeless, he threw himself on the lee side of the cairn, to recover his
strength. He thought some strange fatality attended him; yet was loth to
yield to despair, and struggled manfully against it; but a languor came
over him, attended by an almost irresistible drowsiness; and all he had
suffered in the retreat to Corunna could not be compared to his present
situation. There, companionship had lightened the most intense
sufferings; severe as they often were, they were not, as now, without
that aid which sustains men in the most trying cases--the countenance of
their fellow-men. Here he was alone, in a sea of snow, within a few
miles of his mother's door!--the thought was bitterness unutterable,
such as he had never felt before. Death he had often braved in all his
forms--in the battlefield he had gazed upon him in the pomp and tumult
of war, when the excited mind unheeded his presence; but here he seemed
to hold his victim in suspense, until his very presence might produce
the parting of soul and body from very fear of him. He struggled to
rise, and combat the feelings that he knew must prove fatal to him; but
his limbs were stiff, and would not obey his will, and he commended his
soul to his Creator, and resigned himself to his fate. His mind became
more calm, his thoughts less confused; and, as he lay musing, it
occurred to him that he had erred in taking the wind for his compass,
for perhaps it blew round the top of the hill (as it did), and was the
cause of his always returning to the same spot. The idea occurred to
him, that, if he had held straight on until he came to a running water,
and followed its course, it would have guided him to some mill or
cottage. This acted upon his mind like an electric spark, his heart
warmed, and his limbs resumed, under the inspiration of hope that once
more came to his aid, their former energy. Onwards he urged his way,
stumbling, at every few paces, over the unequal ground; and, with
severe labour, he cleared the hills, and anxiously listened for the
sound of running water; but the howling of the blast deadened every
sound; and he still urged his way, dragging his weary limbs after him,
till a faint rushing was heard, and a black chasm appeared at his feet,
over which he must have fallen on the next step. He returned thanks to
God for his preservation. The chasm was the well-remembered linn, only a
few hundred yards from his mother's cottage; and he had thought, more
than once, he had distinguished a faint light in the gloom, at times
distinct, then vanishing again, but now easily made out. His heart
leaped for joy, for he knew it proceeded from his mother's
cottage-window. He kept the burn-side, and proceeded straight to the
house; but his energies were entirely spent. He reached it, lifted the
latch, and remembered no more until he found his mother and Jeanie
hanging over him and chafing his benumbed limbs. After a night's repose,
the hardy veteran had risen full of vigour, as if the last night's
escape from death had been only a dream. I could perceive melancholy
reflections mixed with the joy he felt at finding all well at his
return; but he said to me, with much bitterness,
"Eight years I have spent, of the prime of my life, in the service of my
country; a few shillings, the remainder of my marching-money, is all I
possess in the world; and I have returned to my mother's house, a poorer
man, in every respect, than I left it."
A cloud passed over his brow--a sigh escaped--his altered look Jeanie
watched with pain. She spoke not, but the sigh fell on his mother's ear.
She grasped his hand, and, pressing it to her bosom,
"Jamie," said she, "my bairn, why do ye sigh on this blessed day? Are ye
vexed that ye hae come back to yer auld mither and Jeanie?"
"I am not, mother," replied he; "indeed; I am not; but a few painful
recollections steal over my mind; and the consciousness that I am alone
the cause adds to their bitterness. Jennie, I am at home, and find you
all I could wish; but complete happiness is yet at a distance. We cannot
be united until I have recovered, by care and industry, what I have lost
by my unprofitable absence."
Jeanie blushed, and hung down her head; her breast seemed too narrow to
contain the feelings that rose in it; but his mother hastily interfered.
"Jamie," said she, "ye maunna tak that view o' yer situation. This
cottage, and a' that is in it, is yer ain. Ye'll no begrudge me my room
in it for a' my time; and yer cousin has saved some pounds for this
happy meeting, and winna put ye aff as she ance did before--for now
she's satisfied ye're an altered man. What say ye, lassie? Am I richt?"
Jeanie spoke not; but her looks showed her approval; and the happy pair
sat gazing at him as if they feared he was soon about to leave them, and
they could not look enough. I began to speak of the scenes he had
witnessed in Spain, when his mother inquired what he considered his most
unlooked-for escape.
"Indeed, mother," he replied, "it is hard to say; but I think it was at
the storming of Badajos, before my better feelings had returned to me. I
was then reckless of everything; and, being in the grenadier company, I
volunteered for the forlorn hope. I had been before on the same duty,
and knew it was as well to volunteer as to be commanded, for the duty
must be done, and volunteering has a more soldier-like sound; so we who
were to form the party immediately sold everything we possessed, and
drank it with our comrades. This was the practice of many, for we knew
what we had to do as soon as it was dark; and, if we escaped death, we
might look upon it as a miracle; and thus were determined to enjoy life
while we had it. This is a soldiers philosophy: enjoy all you have in
your power; for what you leave after you fall you know not who will
enjoy. I have eaten the last morsel of bread in my haversack going into
action, and my comrades did the same, lest we might fall and another eat
it. As soon as the hour arrived, we were at our post and formed, then
marched on in dead silence towards the breach, headed by a captain and a
lieutenant. I was on the right, and heard the lieutenant sob once or
twice. The captain turned to him and said, in an under voice--
"'Return, if you are afraid.'
"'No,' replied the lieutenant, in a firm voice, though not much louder
than a whisper, 'I am not afraid. I fear not danger, but will face it
with any man in the British army; but, good God! my mother and
sister----'"
A dreadful crash stunned me--a mine had been sprung, and we were all
scattered in different directions, the greater part mangled and dead.
When I recovered my recollection, I was sweltering in the ditch of the
place, almost suffocated, and sinking. I was sorely bruised and
bewildered; and, led more by instinct than reason--for I was incapable
of thinking--I struggled to get at some support; and fortunately got
hold of some willow twigs that were growing in the side of the ditch,
and clung to them, while my faculties gradually came to me, and I felt
in all its force the horrors of my situation. The noise was louder than
thunder; the shot was entering the banks, and plunging into the water
around me like a hail-storm, while splinters of shells were flying past
in every direction. I was at one moment covered with water, and the next
with mud and earth, torn by the shot from the side of the ditch. The
whistling of the balls, the shouts of the men, the volleys of musketry,
and deafening roar of the guns, and constant flashes of light that shot
fearfully across the darkness of the scene, rendered my mind a chaos of
confusion. I felt not what could be called fear; I had, in vain, more
than once tried to extricate myself from my horrible situation. A
callous, regardless feeling was upon me; and I passed the tedious hours
in a kind of stupor, much resembling a fearful nightmare. I felt fully
the desperate situation I was in, and my utter inability to relieve
myself; but there was no use of making it worse than it was by
fretting--and morning at length came. The firing had for a long time
ceased; and I was dragged out more dead than alive, benumbed and
bruised. Most of the volunteers had perished, and along with them the
lieutenant, for whom I felt more regret than for any officer I had ever
known to fall in the field of war. I often thought how much more
commendable his feelings were than my own; for I had never even thought
of you until I returned once more safe to the camp, and coolly turned
over in my mind the whole occurrences of this fearful night. My
conscience, I own, did upbraid me; but I soon shook off the uneasy
feeling.
Jeanie heard the recital with a thrill of horror; and, while tears were
falling fast--
"O Jamie!" said she, "little did we imagine the half of the dangers you
were exposed to, or the misery you must have endured."
"We had sufferings," replied he, "enough and to spare; but we had also
our enjoyments, with a relish no one at home, in the calm of domestic
life, can have the most distant conception of. The soldier's life, in an
enemy's country, is made up of extremes, either of hardship or
enjoyment. When the toilsome march is over, how sound and sweetly he
sleeps, even on the hard, bare ground, under the canopy of heaven! But,
if his billet be good, he is the happiest of mortals--words cannot
express his pleasures. After a rapid pursuit of the enemy, such as we
had after the French to Victoria, when we were far in advance of our
commissariat, and our stomachs were keen, sweet, sweet was our dry hard
beef, so hard and black from overdriving, we were forced to bruise it
between two stones, before our eager teeth could masticate it. Victuals
and drink were all we coveted, and we were not over scrupulous how we
came by them. We were quartered in Alcantara for a winter, after a
summer of privations, and we lived like kings. Four of us were quartered
upon one house; our rations were regularly served; and we had abundance
and to spare. In Spain, almost every family has a barrel of olive oil
for a supply during the winter; for they cook a great many victuals with
it. We had become as fond of it as the natives. I recollect that our
host had two large barrels filled behind the door; and complaints having
being made by the inhabitants, every day, of the depredations committed
upon their oil by the soldiers, our host was as jealous as the rest,
examined his store night and morning, and gave us the greatest character
for honesty. But little did he know whom he praised; for we were no
better than the rest--only more cunning; and it was fortunate for us
when the route came, for I am sure there was not the depth of a finger
of oil in one of the barrels, we having had the precaution to put in as
much water as we drew oil, to save appearances."
"Jamie, Jamie," said Margaret, "ye were sair left. Oh, man, did ye steal
frae the poor folk in that gate?"
"Indeed, mother," replied he, "we did not think we stole when provisions
were in the case. The Spaniards, no doubt, said we were only better than
the French in this respect; for the French took openly whatever they
chose, and abused them to boot; we only stole provisions, when
unobserved, and always gave them fair words for what we took, whether
detected or not. Perhaps they were indebted to Wellington and the
provost-marshal for this; for I assure you there was no mercy for us
when detected. There were two brothers hanged upon the same tree, just
before the battle of Victoria, for being detected in taking a little
flour when we were in great want. I recollect we marched past them."
"Oh, Jamie," said the mother, "ye've seen strange sichts."
"Ay, and heard strange things, too," replied he. "I will tell you what I
heard from a German, one of the legion, who had been severely wounded,
and lay next my berth in the hospital:--He had served in a regiment of
Swiss in the pay of Great Britain, which had been raised to stop the
progress of the French, in the early part of the revolutionary war, and
had been with it in Italy and Corsica. They had been hurried, by forced
marches, from Constance to Rome, in the depth of a severe winter, and
suffered much. The French were in such superior numbers, that they were
forced to fly before them until they were joined by the British under
General Stewart, when they made a successful stand for some time, and
had a great deal of hard fighting. It was during one of these checks,
after a severe action, that they lay for some weeks in an old castle,
which they had fortified in the best manner they could. The French lay
in front, in great force, their foraging parties scouring the country,
and cutting off their supplies; so that they were reduced to the most
extreme want of provisions, and suffered sadly from the severity of the
weather. The cold was most intense; snow or sleet fell almost every day;
while firing was not to be had. Their clothing almost worn out, great
numbers were barefooted. Under such circumstances, it was with
difficulty that human nature could bear up under its sufferings. The men
became desperate, and numbers were falling sick, and dying every day. In
the midst of these horrors, urged by extreme misery, three Germans
conceived an idea the most repugnant to human nature that can be
conceived by man, and put it in execution. One evening they were seen in
deep consultation by their comrades, and, towards the middle of the
night, they stole down to one of the vaults, of which there were many
under the castle, and earnestly and fearlessly invoked the devil to come
to them, and enter into an agreement upon any terms he chose. All they
would stipulate for was to be delivered from their present misery; but
they called in vain--no devil or other appearance could they perceive,
although they remained calling upon him for a long time. At length they
left the vault, much disappointed at their failure. It was remarked by
all the regiment--for they told what they had been about--that none of
the three survived any length of time after this, and all died by
uncommon modes. The first that fell was Gualter Stulzer. That very night
he awoke in his sleep, and, starting to his feet, shouted out, at the
loudest pitch of his voice, in a manner that awoke all in the hall, and
made us tremble--'Ho! ho! you are come at length--I am your man; take me
anywhere, only take me hence;' and fell upon his face. When the day
broke, we found him quite dead. We thought he had been in a dream. Not
one of us could have risen to assist him, had we thought he was not, for
all was dark, and we thought the evil one was present in the room. The
two others, who were not in the same part of the building, we had no
doubt were in the same state, until we saw them alive and well in the
morning. A few days after this melancholy event, another of them was
found dead at his post, with horror most strongly expressed on his
countenance. The third survived only till we reached Corsica, where he
was hanged for a cruel murder, a short time after our landing. And thus
perished these three desperate men--the only instance really authentic
of the kind I ever heard of in all my life."
"His presence," said Margaret, "be aboot us a', to keep us frae evil! Ye
hae made my flesh creep on my banes. Surely, my bairn, they must hae
been Pagans. We read, in the blessed Word, that Esau sold his birthright
for a mess o' potage. But men to gang and offer to sell their sauls to
the evil one? Ohon! Ohon!"
"No one can say," replied James, "what he will or will not do, until the
hour of trial is past. These Germans gave implicit belief to stories of
diablerie and witchcraft, and hoped to be relieved from their sufferings
by becoming warlocks. You yourself are not free from the belief that
such things have been."
"I maun first doubt my Bible, Jamie," said she, "ere I doubt ony sic
thing. Hae we no a commandment against witchcraft, and a pattern o' what
they were in the Witch o' Endor? Hae I no kent folk that werena canny
mysel? I only wonder he camna at their ca', to seal the bargain wi'
them. I may say I ken o' nane at present that has a very ill name; but,
when I was a young lass, Ellen Graeme was feared owre a' the kintry side
for her unholy power, after she witched Bauldy Scott, the minister's
man, for something he had either said or done to her. She had a bauld
and bitter tongue in her head; and, after giein him ill names until she
was tired, she spat at him, and ended wi' saying--'Bauldy Scott, mind my
words!--ye'll rue, ere lang, meddling wi' me.' Bauldy only leuch at her;
but didna feel owre easy, for a' that. Aweel, a day or twa after the
collyshangie wi' Ellen, he had to gang to Hawick, on some business about
a web he had been weavin for the bailie's wife. A' went weel aneugh
until he was comin hame in the evenin, whan, just as he was in the
middle o' the hills--for he took the shortest cut hame--he met wi' a
muckle black tyke o' a dog, that looked hard and sair at him, and
followed, whether he wad or no. He feared to clod it; for it was an
unsonsy like beast, and he had a druther that it wasna a canny creature.
Bauldy took fervently to prayer and psalm-singin, and the dog soon left
him; but he was nae sooner out o' sicht, than there cam on sic a mist
that he fairly tint his gate, and wandered he knew not where, until wi'
perfect fatigue he sat down on a stane. The nicht was closin in fast
upon him, and he kendna whither he had dandered nearer or farther frae
hame. There he sat, whiles prayin, whiles thinkin on his wife and weans,
but oftener o' Ellen Graeme and her threat, and the awesome black dog he
had met. He was like to gang demented. The time hung sae dreich on his
hand, he thocht the world was standin still. He daredna open his een,
for fear he might be scared by some awesome sicht. So still was all
around him, that the very beatin o' his ain heart sounded in his lugs
like a death-watch. This grave-like calm and stillness became to him
waur than any noise could hae been; and, to mak a lang tale short, there
he sat on the stane till the grey o' the mornin. And whar was't, do ye
think, he had been sittin the lee-lang nicht? No a hunder yards frae his
ain door, on the big stane that stans by the kirk-stile, at the self and
same spot where Ellen Graeme had threatened him! That he had been
bewitched, few in the parish doubted; and he himself believed, until the
day o' his death, that he had seen the evil one in the form o' the black
dog, who, being forced to flee by the force o' his prayers, had raised
the mist to bewilder and prevent his gettin hame. He made a lang
complaint to the minister against Ellen; but he wadna tak it up, and
only laughed at Bauldy, and said, 'Are ye sure ye didna pree owre deep
o' the yill in Hawick, Bauldy?' Now, this was warst o' a'; for, puir
man, he had baith the skaith and the scorn; but few thocht waur o' the
minister for no takin up Bauldy's case."
"It may be as you say, mother," said James--"I never thought seriously
on the subject; but this I know--I never felt so comfortable, when
sentinel upon a lonely outpost, as I did in garrison or in camp. I
remember once, while we lay in the valley of Roncesvalles, a short time
before we entered France, I was on duty upon an outpost, with the enemy
in front. I had almost made a fool of myself by giving a false alarm. I
never was so much out of sorts in my life with real terror; I shook
like a dog in a wet sack. My station was an old building, a complete
ruin, without roof, and not more than six feet of wall standing in any
part of it; so that, with a glance of my eye, I could examine recesses
of the interior. My turn came at twelve o'clock. The orders were to
allow no one to advance without the word and countersign; and if any
movement was perceived in the enemy's lines, to fire off my piece, and
fall back upon the mainguard. I had been upon my station for about
half-an-hour, or better, musing upon various things--but Jeanie and you
were ever uppermost in my thoughts. Suddenly a strange sound fell upon
my ear. I could not distinguish whether it was a sigh or a low moan. I
became all attention for a recurrence of the sound, and cocked my
musket. Never did the click fall so loud upon my ear. Thus I stood at
post, gazing, with eyes almost starting from their sockets, around me.
It did not occur again. While I stood thus, I began to recover, and
thought I had been deceived, uncocked my musket, and resumed my measured
pace, peering on every side, and searching with my eyes, as far as the
gloom of a starry night, without moonlight, would admit. I had not made
above a dozen turns upon my allotted bounds, when the same sounds fell
upon my ears, but much more distinct. It was a heavy groan, and appeared
to come from my right--not in the direction of the enemy's lines. Again
I cocked my musket. All was still as death after the groan. I stooped
towards the ground to listen, but could discern no foot-tread upon it,
or the smallest movement. I walked round the ruin, and examined it with
care; but all was still and void. I looked in the direction I thought
the sound had come from, when all at once there appeared to rise out of
the ground, at a short distance from me, a most uncouth figure. It had
the appearance of a monk in his cloak, with the hood up, and a pair of
horns upon his head. From the outline between me and the sky, so
appalling was the vision, that I clapped my musket to my shoulder, and
called, "Who goes there?" A heavy groan was the only reply, and the
whole disappeared into the ground as suddenly as it had risen out of it.
A cold sweat covered my whole body--my knees knocked against each other,
as I stood rooted to the spot. I would have fired, but had not the power
at first; and as I recovered, I was ashamed, as I knew my comrades would
laugh at me, and the officers give no credit to my story. I had not the
power to withdraw my eyes from the spot. Again I saw the same appearance
rise out of the ground, but with more fearful distinctness, and gaze
upon me, utter a groan, and again vanish. This was too much. I was
almost overcome, when I heard the tread of the relief advancing to
change guard. My nerves were in a moment strung to energy again by the
sound of the human voice. Although, in a whisper, I related what I had
witnessed to them, all were inclined to laugh, save he who was to take
my place. However, it was agreed to go to the spot I pointed out, and
examine it. When we reached the place, we found, behind some low bushes,
scarcely, in the dark, to be discerned from the ground, a wounded mule,
so weak that it could not rise from the ground upon its feet. At our
approach, it attempted to rise, but could only elevate its
fore-quarters, as it had been shot through the loins, and fell down
again with a groan. None of us laughed more heartily than I did at this
elucidation of the fearful vision. These outpost duties often occurred,
and we liked them worse than an action. So little did we dread fight,
that I have heard the men say seriously, when they had lost even so
trifling a necessary as a rosette, "I wish we may have an action soon,
that I may pick up one." In action, so cool and steady had we become,
that jests and remarks were made as freely, and even with more spirit
than on a parade or in the barrack-room. In an affair of outposts, the
sharpest I was ever in, and when the balls were whistling around us like
grasshoppers on a sunny bank, James Graham, my left-hand man, said--
"Blair, they have hit me at last, confound them! and broke some of my
ribs. I both heard and felt them crack like pipe-staples; but I will
have a shot or two while I can stand to them." After a few minutes, he
said, "They have hit me, but not cut me. There is no blood on my
trousers, yet my breast is confounded sore." He put his hand into a
pocket he had in the breast of his coat, and pulled out a favourite
knife, stamped on the ground in anger, and cried, "Oh, the French
blackguards! they have broken my knife, and I bought it in the High
Street of Edinburgh." And he resumed his fire, if possible, with
redoubled energy, taking as cool and deliberate an aim as if he had been
firing at a target for a prize in his native village.
In the same skirmish, James Paterson's bonnet fell over the wall which
we were lining, as he was taking out some cartridges to place them in
his breast. The enemy were in triple force not one hundred yards from
the other side.
"I shan't go bareheaded for all that," said he, and leaned his musket
against the wall, climbed over it, gathered up his ammunition as calmly
as if he had been in the barrack-yard, placed his bonnet on his head,
and leaped back unhurt. An aid-de-camp, who rode past at the time, cried
out to us--
"Well done, my brave men! They may march over your bodies, but they
cannot drive you back."
We gave him three cheers, and the enemy soon after fell back. But,
Jeanie, lassie, I fear you think I am boasting far too much of myself
and comrades. I would not speak to you of a soldier's life, were it not
that you, my friend, invite me to it; but I assure you that those parts
of it which are most dreaded by the people at home have in them great
interest, and serve to enliven the otherwise monotonous duties of a
campaign in an enemy's country, where our fatigues in marching and
countermarching are scarce bearable. If we found any fault with the
general, in our private conversation, it was, that we had not fighting
enough. Our opinion was, the hotter war, the sooner peace; and we always
felt a consciousness of being able to beat the enemy, if we were only
led on.
"O Jamie, my bairn!" said Margaret, "evil communications corrupt good
manners. I wadna hae believed, had onybody but yersel tauld me, yer
nature could hae changed sae muckle as to tak delight in sic a life. My
heart is sair to hear ye speak wi sae muckle relish o' sic bloody wark."