COUNTESS CUT COUNTESS.
On the road to Paris from Luciennes the poor Countess Dubarry was
racing along like a disembodied spirit. An advice from her brother
Jean had dashed her down when she had brought the king to the point of
arranging for her presentation day.
"So the old donkey has fooled us?" she cried, when she was alone with
him.
"I am afraid so. But listen: I stayed in town because I am not trustful
like you--and I am not wrong. An hour before the time when I ought
to call for the old countess at her inn, I met my man Patrick at the
door, where I had sent him to stand sentry since daybreak. He had
seen nothing wrong, and I left the carriage and went up stairs quite
assured. At her door a woman stopped me to say that her mistress had
upset the chocolate, which she boiled herself, on her foot, and was
crippled."
"Oh, heavens! you drive me to despair, Jean."
"I am not in despair. You can do what I could not; if there be any
imposture you can discover it, and somehow we will punish her. I was
consulting a lawyer; he says we must not thrash a person in a house; it
is fine and prison, while without----"
"Beat a woman, a countess of the old stock? You mad rogue, let me
rather see her and try another method."
Jean conducted her to the Chanticleer Inn, where the old lady dwelt. At
the foot of the stairs she was stopped by the landlady.
"Countess Bearn is ill," she said.
"Just so; I am coming to see how she is," and Jeanne darted by her as
nimble as a fawn.
"Your ladyship here!" ejaculated the old lady, on seeing the court
beauty's face screwed up into the conventional expression of condolence.
"I have only just learnt of the accident. You seem to be in much pain."
"My right foot is scalded. But misfortunes will happen."
"But you know the king expected you this morning?"
"You double my despair, lady."
"His majesty was vexed at your not coming."
"My excuse is in my sufferings, and I must present my most humble
excuses to his majesty."
"I am not saying this to cause you pain," said Lady Dubarry, seeing
that the old noblewoman was angry, "but just to show you how set his
majesty was on seeing you for the step which made him grateful. I
regret the accident the more as I think it was due to your excitement
from meeting a certain person abruptly at my house."
"The lady who came as I went away?"
"The same; my sister, Mademoiselle Dubarry; only she bore another name
when you met her--that of Mademoiselle Flageot."
"Oh, indeed!" said the old dame, with unhidden sourness. "Did you send
her to deceive me?"
"No, to do you a service at the same time as you did me one. Let us
speak seriously. In spite of your wound, painful but not dangerous,
could you make the effort to ride to Luciennes and stand up a short
while before the king?"
"Impossible; if you could bear the sight----"
"I wish to assure myself of its extent."
To her great surprise, while writhing in agony, the lady let Jeanne
undo the bandage and expose a burn, horridly raw. It spoke eloquently,
for, as Lady Bearn had seen and recognized Chon, this self-inflicted
hurt raised her to the height of Mutius Scaevola.
The visitor mutely admired. Come to consciousness, the old countess
fully enjoyed her triumph; her wild eye gloated on the young woman
kneeling at her foot. The latter replaced the bands with the tenderness
of her sex to the ailing, placed the limb on the cushions as before,
and said as she took a seat beside her:
"You are a grander character than I suspected. I ask your pardon
for not having gone straight to business at the start. Name your
conditions."
"I want the two hundred thousand livres at stake in my lawsuit to be
guaranteed me," replied the old dame, with a firmness clearly proving
that one queen was speaking with another.
"But that would make double if you won your case."
"No, for I look upon the sum I am contesting with the Saluces for as
mine own. The like sum is something to thank you for in addition to the
honor of your acquaintance. I ask a captaincy and a company for my son,
who has martial instincts inborn but would make a bad soldier because
he is fit for officership alone. A captaincy now, with a promotion to a
colonelcy next year."
"Who is to raise the regiment?"
"The king, for if I spent my money in so doing I should be no better
off. I ask the restitution of my vineyard in Touraine; the royal
engineers took six acres for the Grand Canal, and condemning it at the
expert's valuation I was cheated out of half price. I went to some law
expenses in the matter and my whole bill at Lawyer Flageot's is nearly
ten thousand livres."
"I will pay this last bill out of my own purse," said Jeanne. "Is this
all?"
"Stay, I cannot appear before our great monarch thus. Versailles and
its splendors have been so long strange to me that I have no dresses."
"I foresaw that, and ordered a costume at the same maker's as mine own.
It will be ready by noon to-morrow."
"I have no jewels."
"The court jewelers will loan you my set called the 'Louise,' as I
bought them when the Princess Louise sold her jewels to go into the
nunnery. They will charge you two hundred thousand and ten livres, but
will take it back in a day or two for two hundred thousand, so that
thus you will receive that sum in cash."
"Very well, countess; I have nothing to desire."
"I will write you my pledges, but first, the little letter to the king,
which I beg to dictate. We will exchange the documents."
"That is fair," said the old fox, drawing the table toward her, and
getting the pen and paper ready, as Lady Dubarry spoke.
"SIRE: The happiness I feel at seeing your majesty's acceptance of
my offer to present the Countess Dubarry at court----"
The pen stuck and spluttered.
"A bad pen; you should change it!"
"Never mind; it must be broken in."
"--emboldens me (the letter proceeded) to solicit your majesty's
favorable eye when I appear at Versailles to-morrow under
permission. I venture to hope for a kind welcome from my kinship
to a house of which every head has shed his blood in the service
of your august ancestors.
"ANASTASIE EUPHRAMIE RODOLPHE, Countess of Bearn."
In return, the plotter handed over the notes and the order on her
jewelry.
"Will you let me send my brother for you at three o'clock with the
coach?"
"Just so."
"Mind you take care of yourself."
"Fear nothing. I am a noblewoman, and as you have my word, I will keep
it to-morrow though I die for it."
So they parted, the old countess, lying down, going over her documents,
and the young one lighter than she arrived, but with her heart aching
at not having baffled the old litigant who easily defeated the king of
France. In the main room, she perceived her brother, draining a second
bottle of wine in order not to rouse suspicions on his reasons for
staying in the inn. He jumped up and ran to her.
"How goes it?" he asked.
"As Marshal Saxe said to the king on showing him the field of Fontenoy:
'Sire, learn by this sight how dear and agonizing a victory is.'"
"But you have a patroness?"
"Yes, but she costs us a million! It is cruel; but I could not help
myself. Mind how you handle her, or she may back out, or charge double
her present price."
"What a woman! A Roman!"
"A Spartan. But bring her to Luciennes at three, for I shall not be
easy till I have her under lock and key."
As the countess sprang into the coach, Jean watched her and muttered:
"By Croesus, we cost France a nice round sum! It is highly flattering
to the Dubarrys."