QUEER CHARACTERS

The nights following the revolution on the island were passed by the

town in great anxiety. Dogs barked, house doors creaked, and the

citizens kept emerging into the streets, knocking on the fences with

sticks, and letting every one know how valiant they were. The town

knew that a band of shivering and hungry folk was roaming through the

streets, cold and wet, in the raw darkness of the rainy night, and

realising full well that only harsh feelings could exist in the hearts

of these people toward it, the town put itself on guard and answered

these sentiments with threats. And, as if on purpose, the nights now

fell upon the earth in the midst of torrents of cold rain, and passed

away leaving low-flying clouds hanging close above the ground. And the

wind bellowed in the heart of the evil weather, shaking the tree-tops,

thundering against the walls, and chanting to me in my bed of the

dozens of human creatures deprived of warmth, with no roof over their

heads.

But at last spring triumphed over winter’s rage; the sun dried the wet

earth, and in the meantime the homeless wanderers had slipped away,

whither, heaven knows. The nightly barking of the dogs diminished,

the townsfolk stopped knocking on the fences, and life assumed once

more its monotonous and sleepy aspect. The hot sun rose in the sky,

scorched the dusty streets, and drove the lively sons of Israel into

the shelter of their little booths; the “commissionaires” lounged

lazily in the sun, sharply eyeing the passers-by and the Jewish

“geschäft”; the scratching of official pens was heard through the open

windows of the Government buildings; the town ladies wandered up and

down the bazaars in the mornings with baskets on their arms, and in the

evenings came out walking majestically, leaning upon the arms of their

spouses, stirring up the street dust with the full trains of their

dresses. The old men and women from the castle decorously made the

round of their patrons without disturbing the universal harmony. The

townsfolk gladly recognised their right to existence, and considered it

absolutely proper that some people should receive alms every Saturday,

while the denizens of the castle accepted this charity with the utmost

respectability.

Only the unfortunate exiles now found no protection in the town.

It is true they no longer roamed the streets at night, and people

said they had taken refuge somewhere on the hill near the dissenting

chapel, but how they had managed to find a dwelling place there no

one could exactly say. All saw, however, the most impossible and

suspicious-looking figures in the world climb down every morning from

the cliffs on which the chapel stood and disappear again at twilight

in the same direction. These people disturbed the quiet, sleepy life

of the town by their appearance, standing out like sombre stains

against the grey background of village life. The citizens looked at

them askance with feelings of hostility and alarm, while they, on the

other hand, watched the village with furtively attentive eyes that sent

cold chills running down the back of many a townsman. These persons did

not resemble in any way the aristocratic mendicants from the castle;

the town did not recognise them and they did not ask for recognition.

Their relations with the community were purely war-like in character;

they preferred cursing a townsman to flattering him; they preferred

taking things themselves to asking for them. Nevertheless, as often

happens among a sombre mass of unfortunates, there were those among

them who, for brains and talent, would have been an honour to the more

select society of the castle, but who had been discontented there,

and preferred the more democratic life of the dissenting chapel. A

few of these poor creatures were distinguished by characteristics of

profoundest tragedy.

I remember vividly to this day how merrily the street would hum as

the melancholy, stooping figure of the old “Professor” walked along

it. He was a gentle being, oppressed by a clouded intelligence, and

he wore an old frieze overcoat and a wide-brimmed hat trimmed with

a faded cockade. His learned title he had appropriated, it seemed,

because of a vague tradition that he had once, somehow, somewhere,

been a tutor. It would be hard to imagine a creature more mild and

harmless. He could generally be seen wandering about the streets with

dim eyes and head sunk forward on his breast. The ingenious townsfolk

knew two peculiarities of his which they made use of to procure a

cruel enjoyment for themselves. The Professor was always muttering

something to himself and no one could ever make out what he was

saying. His words would trickle after one another with the troubled

murmur of a little brooklet, while he fixed his vague eyes upon his

listener’s face as if he were trying to convey to that man’s mind the

elusive meaning of his long discourses. He could be wound up like

a clock, and to do this it was only necessary for one of the lanky

commissionaires dozing on the sidewalk to call the old man to him and

ask him some question. The Professor would shake his head, pensively

fix his faded eyes upon the face of his interlocutor, and begin to

murmur something sorrowful without an end. Thereupon his questioner

could calmly walk away or go to sleep, and when he woke he would still

be certain to see over him that dark, melancholy figure, murmuring his

unintelligible phrases. But, naturally, this situation was not, in

itself, particularly interesting. It was the second of the Professor’s

characteristics that enabled the louts of the street-corners to procure

their most striking effects. The unhappy man could never hear sharp

or pointed instruments mentioned without emotion. And so, at the very

height of his unintelligible eloquence, his listener would suddenly

jump up and scream in a harsh voice: “Knives, scissors, needles, pins!”

Then the poor old man, interrupted in the midst of his reverie, would

throw up his arms with the gesture of a wounded bird, and stare about

him in terror with his hands clutching at his breast. Ah, how many

sufferings are incomprehensible to lanky commissionaires because the

sufferers cannot express their pain by means of a lusty blow! But the

poor Professor would only look about him in deep distress, and his

inexpressible suffering could be divined from his voice as he turned

his clouded eyes upon his tormentor and cried, convulsively tearing at

his breast:

“A hook--a hook in my heart!”

He was probably trying to say that his heart had been rent by the

townsman’s exclamation, but naturally it was his very circumstance

that had served to dispel somewhat the tedium of the street loafer. So

the poor Professor would hurry away, his head bowed even lower than

before, as if he feared a blow, and loud peals of laughter would pursue

him as the pert townsfolk ran out into the street, filling the air with

screams like the blows of a lash and shouting:

“Knives, scissors, needles, pins!”

In justice to the exiles from the castle, it must be said that

they always stood loyally by one another, and if two or three of

Turkevich’s tatterdemalions, or, more especially, if the retired

grenadier Zausailov descended upon the Professor’s pursuers at such a

time a cruel punishment always overtook a large number of that crowd.

Zausailov, who was the possessor of a huge frame, a purplish blue nose,

and fiercely protruding eyes, had long since declared war on every

living being, and recognised neither treaties nor neutrality. Each

time that he met the Professor with the rabble in pursuit his angry

shouts would fill the air then and long after, as he swept through the

streets like Tamerlane, destroying everything that stood in the way of

his redoubtable progress. Thus he practised “pogroms” on the Jews on a

large scale long before they had begun to break out elsewhere. He would

torture every Jew that fell a prisoner into his hands and wreak insults

on the Hebrew ladies until at last the expedition of the bold grenadier

would come to an end in the gaol, where he was invariably domiciled

after his bloody bouts with the populace in which both sides always

manifested no small amount of valour.

The other individual the sight of whose misfortunes and downfall was

a source of great amusement to the people, was Lavrovski, a retired

and absolutely drink-sodden Civil Servant. The inhabitants of the town

could easily remember the time when Lavrovski was never spoken of as

anything but “My Lord the Secretary”; when he went about in a uniform

with brass buttons, his neck swathed in handkerchiefs of the most

marvellous hues. It is likely that this circumstance lent an additional

piquancy to the contemplation of his present state. The change in

Lavrovski’s life had come swiftly; it had sufficed for a certain

brilliant officer of dragoons to come to Kniazh Gorodok and live there

for two weeks. In that time he succeeded in winning and carrying off

a golden-haired lady, the rich inn-keeper’s daughter. The inhabitants

of the town never heard of the beautiful Anna again, for she had sunk

forever beneath their horizon. And so Lavrovski was left with all

his bright-hued handkerchiefs, but without the hope that had once

embellished the life of the little official. It was long since he had

ceased to be a Civil Servant. Somewhere, in some remote village, there

lived a family whose hope and mainstay he had once been, but he had

lost all care for anything now. In his rare sober moments he would walk

swiftly through the streets with downcast eyes, looking at no one,

as if he were overcome with shame at the fact of his own existence.

Ragged, dirty, with long, unkempt hair, he was always a prominent

figure in a crowd, and attracted universal attention to himself, but he

seemed never to notice any one, or to hear anything. Only occasionally

would he cast a wild look of bewilderment about him, as much as to say:

“What do these strangers want of me? What have I done to them, and why

do they follow me so persistently with their mockery?” If, during one

of these flashes of consciousness, his ear caught the name of the lady

with the golden hair a tempestuous fury would rise in his heart, his

eyes would shine in his pale face with dark fire, and he would throw

himself upon the crowd of his tormentors, which would then quickly

disperse. These flashes of anger, rare as they were, strangely provoked

the interest of the loafers who found that time hung heavily on their

hands, and it is no wonder, then, that when Lavrovski walked down the

street with downcast eyes, the rabble that followed him should try to

rouse him from his apathy, and at last begin to throw mud and stones at

him.

When Lavrovski was drunk he would obstinately seek out dark

fence-corners and swampy meadows and other such extraordinary places,

and there he would sit, his long legs stretched out in front of him,

his poor grey head sunk on his breast. Solitude and vodka awoke in him

a flow of expansiveness and a desire to pour forth the sorrow of his

heavy heart, so he would embark upon endless stories of his ruined

youth, addressing himself now to the grey posts of the ancient fence,

now to the birch trees indulgently whispering something over his head,

now to the magpies that came hopping up to his gloomy figure with

feminine curiosity.

If any of us little boys succeeded in tracking him to such a place

we would silently surround him and listen with beating hearts to his

long and terrible stories. Our hair would stand on end as we gazed

with horror at that pale creature accusing himself of every crime

under the sun. According to Lavrovski’s own account he had killed his

father, driven his mother into the grave, and brought disgrace on his

brothers and sisters. We had no reason for not believing these fearful

confessions, and were only surprised that Lavrovski seemed to have had

several fathers; he had thrust a sword into the heart of one, another

he had killed with slow poison, a third he had dragged down with him

into some abyss or other. So we would listen, overwhelmed with sympathy

and horror, until Lavrovski’s tongue became more and more entangled

and at last ceased to be able to pronounce articulate sounds; merciful

sleep would then put an end to the outpouring of his confessions.

The grown people laughed at us and told us that these stories were all

moonshine, and that Lavrovski’s parents had died a natural death from

sickness or starvation. But our tender, childish hearts heard the cries

of genuine affliction in his groans, and, taking the allegories of the

unhappy man literally, we came nearer than our elders to understanding

the tragic wrecking of his life.

When Lavrovski’s head had sunk lower than ever and snores, broken by

nervous sobs, came from his throat, we would lean our little heads

over the poor man. We would peer into his face and watch the shadows

of his misdeeds flitting across it even in his sleep; we would see his

brows contract convulsively and his lips tighten in a piteous, almost

childishly plaintive grimace.

“I’ll kill you!” he once shrieked suddenly, conscious of a vague

uneasiness caused by our presence, and at this we scattered like a

flock of startled birds.

It sometimes happened that rain fell on him sleeping thus, dust covered

him, and several times in the autumn he was literally buried in snow.

If he did not die an untimely death, he without doubt owed this to the

care which other unfortunates like himself took of his pitiful person.

Especially did he owe his life to the jolly Turkevich, who would search

him out, pull him up, set him on his feet, and take him away with him.

Turkevich belonged to the class of people, who, as he himself expressed

it, do not spit in their own porridge, and while the Professor and

Lavrovski were passive sufferers, he presented the appearance of

a person who was happy and fortunate in many ways. To begin with,

he had suddenly announced that he was a general without asking the

assent of any one, and demanded that the townsfolk should call him by

that honourable title. As no one dared to question his right to it,

Turkevich very soon became imbued with a belief in his own greatness.

He always stalked along very majestically, knitting his brows severely,

and displaying a perfect readiness to break any one’s jaw, which last

act he evidently considered the special prerogative of a general. If

his care free brain was ever visited for a moment by doubts on the

score of his title, he would catch the first man he saw on the street

and sternly ask him:

“Who am I, eh?”

“General Turkevich!” the man would answer meekly, feeling himself in

an awkward position, whereupon Turkevich would slowly release him and

proudly twirl his whiskers.

“Ex-actly!”

And as he had, beside all this, a very special way of twirling his

beetling moustache and an inexhaustible fund of quaint sayings and

witticisms, it was not surprising that he was constantly surrounded by

a crowd of lively listeners. Even the doors of the best restaurants,

where the landholders of the country assembled to play billiards,

were open to him. To tell the truth, however, it not infrequently

happened that General Turkevich would come flying out of them with

the alacrity of a man who is being shoved rather unceremoniously

from behind. But these incidents, which he explained by the lack of

respect the landholders had for wit, had no effect upon Turkevich’s

general frame of mind. A state of happy self-confidence and continual

intoxication--that was his normal condition.

In this last circumstance lay the second key to his felicity; one

glass of vodka was enough to keep him fuddled for a day. This fact

people explained by the immense quantity which Turkevich had already

drunk, and which was said to have converted his blood into a solution

of vodka. All that was necessary now was for the General to bring this

solution to a proper strength, for it to ripple and rush through his

veins, painting the world for him with rainbow tints.

If, on the other hand, for one reason or another, the General could not

procure a glass of vodka for a day or two, he would suffer the most

excruciating torture. First he would fall into a fit of melancholy and

low spirits. All knew that at these times the terrible General was more

helpless than a child, and many hastened to wreak vengeance upon him

then for insults received. They would beat him and spit upon him and

cover him with mud, while he would not even try to run away from the

disgrace, but would bellow at the top of his lungs while the tears

streamed in torrents down his long, drooping moustache. The poor wretch

would turn to every one, imploring them to kill him; saying that,

anyhow, he was doomed to die a dog’s death in a fence corner. At that

every one would stand aside, for there was something in the voice and

face of the General at those times which sent even his most determined

enemies away as fast as their legs could carry them. They could not

bear to see the face, to hear the voice of a man who, for an instant,

was conscious of the appalling tragedy of his lot.

Then another change would come over the General and he would grow

terrible to look at. His eyes would flash feverishly, his cheeks would

cave in, his short hair would bristle on his head, he would go off into

a kind of frenzy, and, rising to his feet, would stalk triumphantly

through the streets, beating his breast and announcing to every one in

a loud voice:

“I am going! Like Jeremiah, I am going to denounce the ungodly!”

This was always the signal for an interesting scene.

It may safely be said that Turkevich played the part of a famous

person in our little town, so it was small wonder that the sedatest

and busiest of our townsmen should drop their work and mingle with the

rabble at the heels of the new prophet, or that at least they should

watch his progress from afar. He usually went first to the Secretary of

the County Court, and before his house he would hold something like a

session of court, choosing suitable members of the crowd to take the

parts of the plaintiff and the defendant. He himself would make the

pleas and reply to them, mimicking very skilfully the voice and manner

of a prisoner.

As he was always able to give a contemporary flavour to his

performances by alluding to some fact well known to all, and as he

was extremely well versed in the procedures of a court room, it was

not surprising that the Secretary’s cook should come flying out of

the house in a twinkling, touch Turkevich on the arm, and hastily

disappear, repulsing as she went the attentions of Turkevich’s

followers. Turkevich would laugh sardonically on receiving this gift,

and, waving the money triumphantly, would retire to the nearest tavern.

Having slightly slaked his thirst there, he would continue to lead his

audience from house to house of those whom he “denounced,” varying his

programme to suit each particular case. As he always received money for

each performance, his fierce tone would gradually become more mild, his

moustache would begin to curl once more, and the denunciatory drama

gradually became a merry vaudeville that generally ended in front of

the house where Kotz, the Captain of Police, lived. Kotz was the most

kindly of all the city officials and had only two little weaknesses:

he dyed his grey hair black and had a partiality for fat cooks. In

everything else he showed an implicit confidence in the will of God and

the “gratitude” of the townsfolk. Having arrived in front of the Police

Captain’s house, Turkevich would wink gaily at his companions, throw up

his cap, and announce in stentorian tones that not the Police Captain

lived here, but Turkevich’s own father and benefactor.

Then he would fix his eyes on the windows and await results. The

consequence was always one of two things: either the fat, red-cheeked

Matriona would come running out of the front door with a present from

Turkevich’s “father and benefactor,” or the door would remain closed,

and Turkevich would catch sight at a window of an angry old face in a

frame of coal-black hair, while Matriona would creep through back ways

to the police station. There the cobbler Mikita, who made a very good

living out of these very affairs with Turkevich, was always sitting. On

seeing Matriona he would immediately throw down his boot-last and rise

from his seat.

Meanwhile Turkevich, seeing that no good results followed his

dithyrambs, would, little by little, cautiously have recourse to

satire. He would usually begin by remarking what a pity it was that his

benefactor thought it necessary to dye his honourable grey hair with

shoe blacking. Next, grieved by the absolute lack of attention which

his eloquence received, he would raise his voice and begin to assail

his benefactor as a melancholy example of a man living illegally with

Matriona. By the time he reached this delicate subject, the General had

always lost all hope of reconciliation with his “benefactor,” and would

therefore arm himself with all the genuine eloquence of indignation. It

was a pity that an unexpected interruption almost always came at this

point in his speech. Kotz’s angry yellow face would appear thrust out

of one of the windows of his house, and Mikita, who had crept up with

marvellous dexterity, would seize Turkevich from behind. No member of

his audience ever tried to warn the orator of his approaching danger,

for Mikita’s artistic methods always called forth universal admiration.

Cut off in the midst of a word, the General would suddenly whirl

through the air and find himself upside down on Mikita’s back. A few

seconds more, and the sturdy cobbler would be quietly making his way

to the gaol, bending slightly beneath his burden, and followed by the

deafening shouts of the populace. Another minute, and the black door of

the police station would gape like a pair of forbidding jaws and the

General would disappear into the darkness, helplessly kicking his feet.

The thankless mob would cry, “Hurrah for Mikita!” and gradually melt

away.

Beside these individuals who were conspicuous among the ranks of the

vagabonds, a dark crew of pitiful, ragged creatures had taken refuge

near the chapel, and these never failed to create intense excitement by

their appearance at the bazaars. The merchants would hastily seek to

protect their goods with their hands, as a hen covers her brood when

a hawk appears in the sky above her. There was a rumour afloat that

these poor wretches had formed a fraternal organisation and that now,

since they had been deprived of their last resources by their expulsion

from the castle, they occupied themselves with petty thieving in the

town and its environs. Such rumours were chiefly founded on the fact

that a man cannot live without bread, and as all the suspicious persons

had in some way or other abandoned the normal way of obtaining it, and

had been cut off from the benefits of local charity, it was naturally

concluded that they must either steal or die. As they did not die,

the very fact of their remaining alive was evidence of their guilty

practices.

If this was true, it was no less apparent that the organiser and leader

of the band could be no other than Tiburtsi Drab, the most remarkable

of all the queer characters that had lost their home in the castle.

Drab’s origin was shrouded in the most mystifying uncertainty. Those

who were gifted with a vivid imagination credited him with having an

aristocratic name which he had brought to shame; he was therefore

obliged to conceal himself, at the same time taking part, it was said,

in the exploits of the notorious Karmeliuk. But, in the first place,

he was not old enough for this, and, in the second place, Tiburtsi’s

appearance did not present one single aristocratic feature. He was

tall, and his heavily stooping shoulders seemed to tell of great

burdens borne by the unfortunate man. His large features were coarsely

expressive. His short, reddish hair bristled stiffly all over his head;

his receding forehead, his slightly projecting lower jaw, and the rapid

play of his facial muscles lent something apish to his face, but the

eyes that sparkled under his beetling brows were determined and dark,

and there shone in them, beside cunning, a keen perspicacity, energy,

and an uncommon intelligence. While his features were changing under

the kaleidoscopic play of his expressions, his eyes would retain their

same fixed, unvarying look, and for this reason the buffoonery of the

strange man filled me with unreasoning dread.

Tiburtsi’s hands were callous and rough, and he stamped his great feet

like a peasant. Therefore the consensus of opinion among the townsfolk

was that he was not of aristocratic birth, and the most they would

concede was that he might have been the servant of a great family.

But here another difficulty presented itself: how, then, explain the

phenomenal learning that every one unanimously admitted he possessed?

It was impossible not to acknowledge this obvious fact, for there

was not a tavern in the whole town where Tiburtsi had not stood on a

barrel and spouted whole speeches from Cicero and Xenophon for the

benefit of the Little Russians collected there on market days. These

Little Russians would gape and nudge one another with their elbows,

while Tiburtsi, towering above them in his rags, would thunder forth

Catilinus or paint the exploits of Cæsar and the craft of Mithridates.

Little Russians are, by nature, endowed with a glowing fancy, and

these were able to read their own meaning into Tiburtsi’s fiery if

unintelligible speeches. When the orator beat his breast and turned

to them with flashing eyes, exclaiming: “Patres Conscripti!” they too

would knit their brows and say to one another:

“Aha, the son of a gun, he does bark!”

Later, when Tiburtsi would raise his eyes to the ceiling and begin

declaiming endless verses of Latin poetry, his whiskered audience

would follow every word he uttered with timid and pitying sympathy.

They felt as if the soul of their orator were soaring somewhere in an

unknown region where people did not talk like Christians, and by his

despairing gestures they concluded that it was there meeting with the

most sorrowful adventures. But this sympathetic tension reached its

height whenever Tiburtsi rolled up his eyes so that only the whites

were visible and wrung his audience’s heart with endless recitations

from Virgil and from Homer. Such hollow, sepulchral tones would then

shake his voice that those who sat farthest away and were most under

the influence of the Jewish “gorelka”[G] would hang their heads until

their long top-knots dangled before them, and begin to sob:

“Oh, oh, little mother, how sad it is!” while the tears would flow from

their eyes and trickle piteously down their long whiskers.

This learning of the queer fellow’s made it necessary to invent a new

hypothesis about him which should tally more closely with the obvious

facts. It was at last agreed that Tiburtsi had once been the house-boy

of a count who had sent him to a Jesuit school with his own son,

desiring that he should clean the young gentleman’s boots. It appeared,

however, that the young count had received most of the blows of the

holy fathers’ three-tailed “disciplinarian,” while the servant had

appropriated the learning intended for the head of his master.

As a result of the mystery which surrounded Tiburtsi, he was credited

among other things with having an intimate knowledge of witchcraft. If

a “witch-ball”[H] suddenly appeared in the billowy fields that closed

like a sea about the last hovels of the town, no one could pull it up

with less danger to himself and to the reapers than Tiburtsi. If an

owl settled in the evening on some one’s roof and, with loud cries,

summoned death to the house, Tiburtsi would be sent for and would drive

the ill-omened bird away by reciting quotations from Livy.

No one could even conjecture how Tiburtsi happened to have children,

and yet the fact was obvious; there were even two facts, a boy of

seven, unusually well-grown and intelligent for his age, and a little

girl of three. Tiburtsi had led, or rather carried, the boy with him

during the early days of his appearance over our horizon. As for

the little girl, he had seemed to vanish for several months into an

absolutely unknown place in order to procure her.

The boy, whose name was Valek, was tall and thin and dark. He might

sometimes be seen sauntering gloomily about the town with his hands in

his pockets, casting sidelong glances about him without having anything

in particular to do, and was the cause of many a palpitating heart to

the bakers.

The little girl was only seen once or twice, borne aloft in Tiburtsi’s

arms. She then disappeared and no one knew whither she had gone.

People spoke of certain subterranean passages on the hill near the

dissenting chapel, and such places were not uncommon in that part of

Russia, over which the Tartars had so often swept with fire and sword,

where Polish licence had run high, and where the fierce heroes of the

old Ukraine had held their bloody tribunals. So every one believed

in the existence of these caves, especially as it was clear that

the band of poor unfortunates must be living somewhere. They always

disappeared toward evening in precisely the direction of the chapel.

Thither the Professor hobbled with his drowsy gait; thither strode

Tiburtsi, swiftly and resolutely; thither staggered Turkevich, leading

the fierce and helpless Lavrovski; thither went a crowd of other

suspicious creatures, and vanished into the darkness of night. There

was no man brave enough to follow them up the slippery clay landslides

that clothed the hillside. The hill, which was honeycombed with graves,

enjoyed an evil reputation. Blue flames might be seen burning in the

old cemetery in the dusk of autumn nights, and the screech owls hooted

so shrilly and loudly in the chapel that even the blacksmith’s fearless

heart would quail when the cries of the accursed birds came to his ears.

Makar's Dream, and Other Stories · 第 24 / 59 题