GINTY RUNS AWAY
What a curious medley life is! How crowded with dramatic situations
and sudden anti-climaxes! Even in Windyridge the programme of
existence is as varied and full of interest as that of any picture
palace. We have all the combinations of tragedy and pathos and humour,
and he who has eyes to see and ears to hear and a heart to feel need
not complain of the monotony of the village, nor pine for the
manufactured excitements of the metropolis.
A letter with a foreign postmark and an Egyptian stamp was handed to me
on Monday morning, and I have been excited and troubled ever since,
though it brought me a great joy. The handwriting was unfamiliar, but
when I turned to the signature I found it was from the squire, and I
began to read it eagerly. I was astonished to find how small and
particularly neat his handwriting is.
The letter ran thus, omitting certain descriptive and unimportant
paragraphs:
"Assouan, Upper Nile,
"_March_ 12_th_, 19--.
"DEAR MISS HOLDEN,
"I wonder if I might claim an old man's privilege and call you 'Grace'?
I should like to do so, for do you know there is not one of your sex in
the wide world whom I have a right to address by the Christian name,
and, what is perhaps more noteworthy, there is no other whose
permission I have the least desire to ask. But somehow or other I am
longing for kinsfolk to-day, and the sensation is almost inexpressibly
acute, so much so that I actually feel the pain of loneliness, and that
'Inner Self' in which, I remember, you trust so completely, cries out
for sympathy and companionship. If I mistake not we have common ideals
and aspirations--you and I--which make us kin, and I am disposed to
'stretch out lame hands of faith' in your direction if haply I may find
you and draw your soul to mine. So if it be your will, let us be
friends, and do you send across the seas and deserts those mysterious
waves of kindly feeling which will vibrate upon the heart of the
solitary old man, to whom earth's messages of love come but seldom--now.
"Have I ever told you that I have not a relative on earth, and that I
have outlived all my own friends? I sometimes feel to be like these
old monuments on the banks of Nile, which stand calm and impassive
whilst the children of this age picnic around their ruins; yet I am no
patriarch, for I have not much overstepped the natural span of man's
existence. I hope you may never experience the sensation, but the fact
that you are yourself amongst earth's lone ones is not the least of the
links that connect you to me.
"I stayed some weeks in Biarritz ... but the weather turned cold and
wet, and the doctors bade me journey to Egypt. It is an unknown land
to my material senses, but not to my spiritual. Every stone preaches
to me of the familiar past. I have always revelled in ancient history
and have kept abreast of modern discovery and research. For a while I
enjoyed the company of my imagination, and we trod together the courts
and temple corridors of the mighty kings of ancient days, and
reconstructed their history. Sometimes, for brief periods, I have
interesting conversations with men who are learned in all this lore;
but imagination and learning are but cold companions, and I am longing
for a hand-grasp and the look of love--longing, like the modern woman
of whom Derwent speaks--for the unattainable.
"I am half ashamed of myself for writing in this strain, and half
afraid of bringing a shadow over the spirit of the gentle soul whose
sympathy I seek; but you must not worry on my account, for I am neither
morbid nor unhappy, though sadness usually walks by my side. Indeed,
life is strangely and even unaccountably dear to me just now, though I
am perfectly sure that the 'call' is not far away, and when it comes I
shall pass behind the curtain and face the unknown without fear and
without regret.
"Of late I have caught myself wondering whether I shall ever return
home and see the brown and purple moors again, and the homely people
whom I love; and when the thought that I may not do so grips me I have
just one overwhelming desire--a curious desire for the 'archaeological
old fossil' I am generally taken to be. Perhaps I am becoming weak and
sentimental, but when the time comes and I have to go, I want someone
who cares for me to 'see me off.' I should like my eyes to close to
the sound of a woman's voice, I should like to feel the touch of a
woman's hand, and maybe the kiss of a woman's lips; and I should like a
few verses of Scripture and a simple hymn.
"I am an old fool, but the thought brings sweetness and peace with it;
and it is as a father to a daughter that I ask this boon of you: When I
hear the summons, will you come to me? Whether I am at home or abroad
will you do me this service for love's sake? I have no claim upon
anyone, and certainly none upon you, but my heart calls for you, and I
believe yours will answer the call.
"For the present, letters addressed to the British Post Office, Cairo,
will be forwarded to me, for I have no fixed address, but I shall look
eagerly for your reply. Let me say in one word that I shall make
provision for the expense of your journey if I should send for you, and
I shall not send unless the call is clear.
"And now tell me of Windyridge.... Write to me when you can: give me
all the news; tell me how the great quest for peace progresses, and
believe that I am ever,
"Your very sincere friend,
"GEORGE EVANS."
Womanlike, I watered this missive with my tears, but they were April
showers, after all, with great patches of blue sky in between, and
plenty of warm sunshine; for it was sweet to know that I was cared for
and that someone wanted me.
I hope none would mistake me. I am an emotional goose at times, I
know, but thank goodness! I am no sentimentalist. I am not possessed
with the idea that the squire wants to marry me and leave me his
fortune, for I am perfectly sure that he does not. I heard his voice
the night before he went away, and it told me the secret of his
fidelity. Besides, I wouldn't marry him if he did want it, for though
my heart tells me that I have loved him instinctively from the first
day of our acquaintance, and I love him now more than ever, it also
tells me that the affection is filial and nothing more. What more
should it be? It is all the more likely to be unselfish and sincere on
both sides that it has nothing of passion in it. You see, unlike Widow
Robertshaw, I am not eager to change my state.
As to my decision, I did not hesitate for one moment. When he needs me
I will go to him and, God helping me, I will act a daughter's part.
Act? Nay, rather, I will do a daughter's loving duty.
I wrote him yesterday, telling him all the news of the little world of
Windyridge, but painting the shadows lightly. In truth, they are heavy
and full of gloom just now.
I had just commenced work in my studio after reading the squire's
letter when Sar'-Ann burst in upon me, and throwing herself into one of
my ornamental chairs commenced to cry and sob hysterically, holding her
apron to her eyes and rocking her body to and fro in a frenzy of
abandonment. I saw there was trouble of some sort, but recognised at
the same time the need of firmness.
"Sar'-Ann," I said, "you will break that chair if you carry on in that
fashion. Restrain yourself, and tell me what is the matter."
Restraint and Sar'-Ann, however, were strangers to each other, and her
only response was to redouble her groans, until I lost patience.
"If you don't stop this noise, Sar'-Ann," I threatened, "I will get you
a strong dose of sal-volatile and make you drink it. Do you hear?"
She did hear. Sal-volatile, as a remedy, had been unknown in
Windyridge before my advent, but the few who had experienced it had not
remained silent witnesses to its power, so that the very dread of the
strange drug had been known to perform miraculously sudden cures in
certain cases; and "that sally-stuff o' Miss Holden's" had become a
word to charm with.
Sar'-Ann's groans subsided, but her breast heaved heavily, and her
apron still concealed her face.
"Cannot you speak, child?" I asked. "What is the matter? If you want
me to help you, you must do more than sob and cry. Now come!"
"It's Ginty!" she stammered; "he's run away an' robbed his mother of
every penny, an' brokken her heart an' mine. Oh, Ginty! Ginty!
Whatever shall I do?" and the rocking and sobbing began again.
I got the sal-volatile this time and forced her to swallow it, taking
no heed of her protests. Mother Hubbard came in, too, and added her
entreaties to my commands; and after a while she became calmer, and
then the whole story came out.
Ginty had been mixing in bad company for some months past. Somewhere
in the hollow of the moors a couple of miles away he had stumbled one
Sunday upon a gambling school, conducted, I imagine, by city rogues who
come out here to avoid the police, and had been threatened with
violence for his unwelcome intrusion. He had purchased immunity by
joining the school, and, unknown to everybody except Sar'-Ann, he had
visited it, Sunday by Sunday, with unfailing regularity, for the greed
of gain soon got hold of him. Sometimes he had won small sums, but
more often he had lost all his wages and even pledged his credit, until
he had not known where to turn for money.
"I gave 'im all I had," said Sar'-Ann, "an' I begged him to drop it,
but he said he couldn't, an' he'd only to go on long enough to be sure
to get it all back an' more to it. An' now, oh dear! oh dear! he's
robbed his poor mother an' made off; an' whatever I'm goin' to do I
don't know. O God! I wish I was dead!"
I left Mother Hubbard to console the stricken girl, fearing in my heart
that she had not revealed the extent of her trouble, and went straight
to Ginty's cottage, where a half-dozen women were doing their best to
comfort the poor mother, bereaved of her only support by what was worse
than death. Children were there, too, their fingers in their mouths
and their eyes wide with wonder, staring vacantly at the object of
universal commiseration, and silent in the presence of a sorrow they
could feel but not understand.
The little garden was gay from end to end with multi-coloured crocuses,
and two or three men stood looking at them, not daring to venture
within the house, but ready to offer help if required. One of them
muttered: "Bad job, this, miss!" as I passed; and the rest moved their
heads in affirmation.
Ginty's mother was seated at the little round table, her head in her
hands, and her eyes fixed upon an old cash box in front of her. The
lid was thrown back and the box was empty. The picture told its own
story; and to complete it a framed photograph of Ginty, which I had
given him only a few weeks previously, hung upon the wall opposite, so
that the author and his work were closely associated.
The women turned as I entered, and began to explain and discuss the
situation before the poor woman who was its victim, in that seemingly
callous manner with which the poor cloak and yet express their sympathy.
"Them's best off as has no bairns," said the blacksmith's wife; "ye
moil an' toil for 'em, an' bring 'em up through their teethin' an' all
make o' ailments, an' lay down yer varry life for 'em, an' this is how
they pay you back in t' end."
"Ay," said Sar'-Ann's mother, "shoo'll hev to be thankful 'at it's no
worse. So far as I know he's ta'en nob'dy's money but 'er's, so I
don't suppose t' police 'll be after 'im. Eh! but it's a sad job an'
all, an' he were bahn to wed our Sar'-Ann in a toathree week. Well,
it's a rare good job for 'er 'at it's happened afore they were wed,
rayther than at after."
"But whativver is shoo goin' to do now 'at Ginty's gone?" inquired the
next door neighbour, Susannah; "Ginty kept 'er, an' _shoo_ can't do
nowt, not wi' them rheumatics in her legs, an' all that pile o' money
gone. Nay, 'Lizabeth, lass, I nivver thowt ye'd scraped so mich
together. It 'ud ha' served ye nicely for yer old age, but ye sud ha'
put it in a bank. Whativver ye're bahn to do now, God only knows."
"We must see what can be done," I interposed. "We must all be her
friends now that this trouble has come upon her, and do not let us add
to her distress by our discussion. You will let us help you, won't
you?" I asked.
She did not speak or move, but just stared stonily into the empty box;
one would have said that she had not even heard.
I withdrew my hand as Susannah came forward. Susannah is a good woman,
with a kind heart, and had known 'Lizabeth all her life. She knelt
down on the stone floor and put an arm around her neighbour's waist.
"'Lizabeth, lass! Ye munnot tak' on like this. 'E'll be comin' back
i' now. It's 'appen nowt but a bit of a marlackin', an' ye shall come
an' live wi' us while 'e turns up. Now what say ye?"
The mother's mouth set hard and her brow contracted.
"I shall go into t' work'us, Susannah; where else should I go?"
There was a murmur of dissent, broken by Susannah's:
"No, no, lass, nowt o' t' sort. Ye'll come an' live wi' us; one mouth
more 'll none mak' that difference, an' Mr. Evans 'll be back i' now
an' put things straight for ye."
"Do ye think, Susannah, 'at your lasses 'll want to live wi' a thief's
mother, an' do ye think 'at I'll let 'em? Ginty's a thief, an' all t'
worse thief because he's robbed his own mother, an' left 'er to starve.
But I won't be beholden to none of ye; I never 'ave been, an' I never
will be. I've worked hard while I could work, an' I've saved what I
could an' lived careful, so as I wouldn't need to be beholden to
nob'dy; an' if Ginty has robbed me of my all 'e shall 'ave a pauper for
his mother, an' 'e shall 'ear tell of 'er in a pauper's grave. I thank
ye kindly, neighbours, but ye must all go an' leave me, for I amn't
wantin' any comp'ny just now."
I saw that I could not be of service just then, so I came away with
some of the other women, intending to go again on the morrow. But
though I went immediately after breakfast I found that she had gone.
"She was off afore I'd well got t' fire lit," said Mrs. Smithies, who
was my informant; "I looked across an' chanced to see 'er open t' door
and pull it to behind 'er. She didn't lock it nor nowt, just like
snecked it. She had a bundle in a red handkercher in 'er 'and, an'
such a 'ard look on her face, an' she never once glanced be'ind nor at
all them grand flowers, but just kept 'er eyes straight afore 'er.
"But I runs out an' I says: 'Nay 'Lizabeth, wherever are ye off, like?'
An' she says, 'I'm off to t' workus, so good-bye, 'Becca; an' if
there's ought in t' 'ouse after t' landlord's paid, you neighbours are
all welcome to 't.' Not 'at I'd touch ought there is, miss, unless it
were that chiney ornament on t' mantelpiece, which I could like if it
were goin' a-beggin'.
"Well, I couldn't 'elp cryin' a bit, an' I axed 'er if she wouldn't
change 'er mind, but she were same as if she were turned to stone. So
I went up t' road wi' her a bit, just a piece beyond t' 'All gates, an'
there she turned me back. 'Good-bye, 'Becca,' she says, 'an' thank God
on yer knees 'at ye've no son to rob his mother! An' if my lad ever
comes back, tell 'im he'll find _his_ mother in a pauper's grave.'"
I walked down the fields into the sanctuary of the wood, where
understanding is sometimes to be found and freedom from painful
thoughts. It was bitterly cold, but the sky was blue, so that in the
clear atmosphere every twig stood out with microscopic sharpness, and
it was impossible to miss the note of hope in the song of new-born
spring.
The trees were for the most part bare of colour--oak and elm and beech
were alike in the grey garb of winter--but the sycamores had burst
their buds and were clad in living green that delighted the eye and
quickened the pulse, whilst great blotches of yellow celandine blazed
in the sunshine of the open spaces like cloth of gold.
But the wood was voiceless at first to the question of my heart, and I
told myself that the "Why?" of life is unanswerable. Then suddenly
there came into my mind the familiar words of Tennyson:
"Behold, we know not anything;
I can but trust that good shall fall
At last--far off--at last, to all,
And every winter change to spring,"
and at a bound my Inner Self found firm ground again.
"Grace," I said, "have you forgotten the closing verse of a preceding
stanza?" and I repeated aloud:
"So fret not, like an idle girl,
That life is dash'd with flecks of sin.
Abide: thy wealth is gathered in
When time hath sundered shell from pearl,"
and I determined to conquer my morbid tendencies and take a broader
outlook on life. "An idle girl!" That stuck. "Ineffective depression
is a kind of idleness," I said to myself, "and I will kill it with
industry."
In obedience to this impulse I rose to my feet, and saw Farmer
Goodenough crossing the brook just below. He smiled a greeting as he
came up, and we walked homewards together.
"Now I durst bet a new bonnet to a new hat, Miss 'Olden," he began,
"that I can guess at twice why you've come down 'ere, an' I'll throw
one guess away. You're on what I should call in a manner o' speakin' a
'mopin' expedition;' now isn't that so?"
"But I don't wear bonnets, my dear sir," I rejoined; "and if you should
win a new hat you wouldn't wear it, being of such conservative
leanings. Nevertheless, I am going to plead guilty to your indictment,
and I hope I shall be let off with nothing worse than a lecture."
"Nay, it's none for me to lecture anybody, for I know as little about
the rights o' things as I know about bonnets, but I've lived long
enough to know 'at' man's born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards,'
as t' Owd Book puts it; an' if you're goin' to fret your heart out
every time it comes your way you'll spend your life in a mournin' coach.
"'Cordin' to my way o' thinkin', Miss 'Olden, so long as human natur's
what it is you'll never get rid o' sufferin' an' trouble, an' what good
does it do to worrit yourself to death over what you can't mend? If
you could mend it ever so little it 'ud be another matter. Now look at
it i' this way. We can all choose our own road when it comes to a
question o' right an' wrong, an' we should be in a poor way if we
couldn't. My plough goes where t' horse pulls it, an' t' horse goes
where I guide it. Now, neither t' plough nor t' horse has any
responsibility, so to speak; but I'd rather be a man an' have t' power
to choose where I go, even if I go wrong, nor be a beast or a machine.
"Now yon lad has gone wrong, an' I'm sorry for 'im, but accordin' to t'
Owd Book it's no use cryin' over spilt milk, an' both 'im an' us 'll
have to make t' best on 't. So will Sar'-Ann; so will Ginty's mother.
Ginty knows he's done wrong, an' he's known t' difference between right
an' wrong all along t' road. He's chosen, an' chosen badly, poor lad,
an' he's sufferin' for it, wherever he is, an' 'e'll have to sup more
sorrow still, there's no doubt about it, an' a bitter cup it'll be.
"But don't you see, this same bitter cup is med'cine for t' lad at same
time. He's gone into t' far country now, but like t' other prodigal
he'll come to himself, as t' Owd Book says, one o' these days, an' we
shall have to leave him there till that time comes.
"But now, take t' lad's mother. She's chosen her own way an' all.
Ginty's sin were greediness an' love o' money, an' his mother's sin is
pride. We haven't all t' same nature, an' I'm not settin' up for a
preacher, for Reuben Goodenough doesn't live up to his name by a long
chalk, so I'm not judgin' t' woman, like a Pharisee.
"But I know this, if she'd just ha' let t' neighbours 'elp her a bit,
her 'eart wouldn't have been so sore, and t' blow 'ud have been
lightened for her. We're a roughish lot i' Windyridge, but there isn't
many 'at wouldn't have made shift to help t' owd woman as well as they
could, but she couldn't stomach bein' helped.
"An' there's a taste o' revenge in it too, unless I'm sadly mista'en.
She thinks she'll pay t' lad out better wi' goin' to t' workus nor
ought else she could do; an' she likes to believe 'at he'll be
'eart-brokken if she's put in a pauper's grave.
"That's how I size things up. All this trouble needn't have been, but
it is there, an' you an' me has no 'casion to mope over it. Mopin'
won't help neither of 'em, but I daresay we can both 'elp 'em a bit if
we try. I'm goin' to see if I can hear ought o' t' lad, an' if I do I
shall follow 'im up; an' I shall do my best to bring a bit o' sense to
his mother. An' if you'll excuse me, miss--well, you're a woman. Try
what a word o' prayer now an' again 'll do for 'em, i'stead o' frettin'
over 'em; an' 'be strong an' of a good courage.' That's in t' Owd
Book, an' it's good advice."