THE COMPLETION OF MISCHANCE
Upon Emily had fallen silence. The tongue which for three months had
incessantly sounded in her ears, with its notes of wailing, of
upbraiding, of physical pain, of meaningless misery, was at rest for
ever. As she stood beside the grave--the grave whose earth had not had
time to harden since it received her father--she seemed still to hear
that feeble, querulous voice, with its perpetual iteration of her own
name; the casting of clay upon the coffin made a sound not half so real.
Returning home, she went up to the bedroom with the same hurried step
with which she had been wont to enter after her brief absences. The bed
was vacant; the blind made the air dim; she saw her breath rise before
her.
There remained but a little servant-girl, who, coming to the
sitting-room to ask about meals, stood crying with her apron held to her
eyes. Emily spoke to her almost with tender kindness. Her own eyes had
shed but few tears; she only wept on hearing those passages read which,
by their promise of immortal life, were to her as mockery of her grief.
She did not venture to look into the grave's mouth she dreaded lest
there might be visible some portion of her father's coffin.
Mrs. Baxendale, the Cartwrights, and one or two other friends had
attended the funeral. At Emily's request no one accompanied her home.
Mrs. Baxendale drove her to the door, and went on to Dunfield.
The last link with the past was severed--almost, it seemed, the last
link with the world. A sense of loneliness grew about her heart; she
lived in a vast solitude, whither came faintest echoes of lamentation,
the dying resonance of things that had been. It could hardly be called
grief, this drawing off of the affections, this desiccation of the
familiar kindnesses which for the time seemed all her being. She forced
herself to remember that the sap of life would flow again, that love
would come back to her when the hand of death released her from its
cruel grip; as yet she could only be sensible of her isolation, her
forlorn oneness. It needs a long time before the heart can companion
only with memories. About its own centre it wraps such warm folds of
kindred life. Tear these away, how the poor heart shivers in its
nakedness.
She was alone. It no longer mattered where she lived, for her alliances
henceforth were only of the spirit. She must find some sphere in which
she could create for herself a new activity, for to sit in idleness was
to invite dread assaults. The task of her life was an inward one, but
her nature was not adapted to quiescence, and something must replace the
task which had come to an end by her mother's death. Already she had
shaped plans, and she dared not allow needless time to intervene before
practically pursuing them.
In the evening of that day Mrs. Baxendale again came to Banbrigg. She
found Emily with writing materials before her. Her object in coming was
to urge Emily to quit this lonely house.
'Come and stay with me,' she entreated. 'You shall be as unmolested as
here; no one but myself shall ever come near you. Emily, I cannot go
home and sleep with the thought of you here alone.'
'You forget,' Emily replied, 'that I have in reality lived alone for a
long time; I do not feel it as you imagine. No, I must stay here, but
not for long. I shall at once find a teacher's place again.'
'That is your intention?'
'Yes. I shall sell the furniture, and ask the landlord to find another
tenant as soon as possible. But till I go away I wish to live in this
house.'
Mrs. Baxendale knew that Emily's projects were not to be combated like a
girl's idle fancies. She did not persevere, but let sad silence be her
answer.
'Would you in no case stay in Dunfield?'
'No; I must leave Dunfield. I don't think I shall find it difficult to
get employment.'
Mrs. Baxendale had never ventured to ask for the girl's confidence, nor
even to show that she desired it. Emily was more perplexing to her now
than even at the time of Wilfrid Athel's rejection. She consoled herself
with the thought that a period of active occupation was no doubt the
best means of restoring this complex nature to healthy views of life;
that at all events it was likely to bring about an unravelling of the
mysteries in which her existence seemed to have become involved. You
could not deal with her as with other girls; the sources of her strength
and her weakness lay too deep; counsel to her would be a useless, an
impertinent, interference with her grave self-guiding. Mrs. Baxendale
could but speak words of extreme tenderness, and return whence she had
come. On going away, she felt that the darkest spot of night was over
that house.
Emily lived at Banbrigg for more than three weeks. After the first few
days she appeared to grow lighter in mind; she talked more freely with
those who came to see her, and gladly accepted friendly aid in little
practical matters which had to be seen to. Half-way between Banbrigg and
Dunfield lay the cemetery; there she passed a part of every morning,
sometimes in grief which opened all the old wounds, more often in
concentration of thought such as made her unaware of the passage of
time. The winter weather was not severe; not seldom a thin gleam of
sunshine would pass from grave to grave, and give promise of spring in
the said reign of the year's first month. Emily was almost the only
visitor at the hour she chose. She had given directions for the raising
of a stone at the grave-head; as yet there was only the newly-sodded
hillock. Close at hand was a grave on which friends placed hot-house
flowers, sheltering them beneath glass. Emily had no desire to express
her mourning in that way; the flower of her love was planted where it
would not die.
But she longed to bring her time of waiting to an end. The steps she had
as yet taken had led to nothing. She had not requested Mrs. Baxendale to
make inquiries for her, and her friend, thinking she understood the
reason, did not volunteer assistance, nor did she hear any particulars
of the correspondence that went on. Ultimately, Emily communicated with
her acquaintances in Liverpool, who were at once anxious to serve her.
She told them that she would by preference find a place in a school. And
at length they drew her attention to an advertisement which seemed
promising; it was for a teacher in a girls' school near Liverpool. A
brief correspondence led to her being engaged.
She was in perfect readiness to depart. For a day or two she had not
seen Mrs. Baxendale, and, on the afternoon before the day of her leaving
Banbrigg, she went to take leave of her friends. It was her intention to
visit Mrs. Baxendale first, then to go on to the Cartwrights'. As it
rained, she walked to Pendal and took train for Dunfield.
At Dunfield station she was delayed for some moments in leaving the
carriage by travellers who got out before her with complexities of
baggage. To reach the exit of the station she had to cross the line by a
bridge, and at the foot of this bridge stood the porter who collected
tickets. As she drew near to him her eyes fell upon a figure moving
before her, that of a young man, wearing thick travelling apparel and
carrying a bag. She did not need to see his face, yet, as he stopped to
give up his ticket, she caught a glimpse of it. The train by which she
had travelled had also brought Wilfrid to Dunfield.
She turned and walked to a little distance away from the foot of the
stairs. There was no room that she could enter on this platform. She
dropped her black veil, and seated herself on a bench. In truth she had
a difficulty in standing, her body trembled so.
For five minutes she remained seated, calming herself and determining
what course to take. She held it for certain that Wilfrid had come at
Mrs. Baxendale's bidding. But would he go to that house first, or
straight to her own? With the latter purpose he would probably have left
the train at Pendal. She would have time to get home before he could
come. At this moment a train was entering the station on the other side.
She hurried over the bridge, and, without stopping to obtain a ticket,
entered a carriage.
It was not without dread lest Wilfrid might have already arrived, and be
waiting within for her return that she approached the house door. Her
fears were groundless. The servant told her that no one had called.
'If anyone should call this evening,' she said, 'I cannot see them. You
will say that I shall not be able to see anyone--anyone, whoever it
is--till to-morrow morning.'...
At this same hour, Mrs. Baxendale, entering a shop in Dunfield, found
Dagworthy making purchases.
'I shall not see you again for a long time,' he said, as he was leaving.
'I start to-morrow on a long journey.'
'Out of England?'
He did not specify his route, merely said that he was going far from
England. They shook hands, and Mrs. Baxendale was left with a musing
expression on her face. She turned her eyes to the counter; the purchase
for which Dagworthy had just paid was a box of ladies' gloves. The
shopman put them aside, to be made into a parcel and sent away.
When, half an hour later, she reached home, she was at once informed
that Mr. Athel was in the drawing-room. The intelligence caused her to
bite her lower lip, a way she had of expressing the milder form of
vexation. She went first to remove her walking apparel, and did not
hasten the process. When she at length entered the drawing-room Wilfrid
was pacing about in his accustomed fashion.
'You here?' she exclaimed, with a dubious shake of the head. 'Why so
soon?'
'So soon! The time has gone more quickly with you than with me, Mrs.
Baxendale.'
Clearly he had not spent the last three months in ease of mind. His
appearance was too like that with which he had come from Oxford on the
occasion of his break-down.
'I could bear it no longer,' he continued. 'I cannot let her go away
without seeing her.'
'You will go this evening?'
'Yes, I must. You have nothing hopeful to say to me?'
Mrs. Baxendale dropped her eyes, and answered, 'Nothing.' Then she
regarded him as if in preface to some utterance of moment, but after all
kept silence.
'Has she heard of anything yet?'
'I believe not. I have not seen her since Tuesday, and then she told me
of nothing. But I don't ask her.'
'I know--you explained. I think you have done wisely. How is she?'
'Well, seemingly.'
He let his feeling get the upper hand.
'I can't leave her again without an explanation. She _must_ tell me
everything. Have I not a right to ask it of her? I can't live on like
this; I do nothing. The days pass in misery of idleness. If only in pity
she will tell me all.'
'Don't you think it possible,' Mrs. Baxendale asked, 'that she has
already done so?'
He gazed at her blankly, despairingly.
'You have come to believe that? Her words--her manner--seem to prove
that?'
'I cannot say certainly. I only mean that you should be prepared to
believe if she repeated it.'
'Yes, if she repeats it. I shall have no choice. Well, I wished to see
you first; I will go to Banbrigg at once.'
Mrs. Baxendale seemed reluctant to let him go, yet at length she did. He
was absent an hour and a half. At his return Mrs. Baxendale had friends
with her in the drawing room. Wilfrid ascertained it from the servant,
and said that he would go to the sitting-room he had formerly occupied,
and wait there till the lady was alone.
She came to him before very long, and learnt that he had not been able
to see Emily; the servant had told him that she could see no one till
the next morning.
Mrs. Baxendale sighed.
'Then you must wait.'
'Yes, I must wait.'
He passed the night at the house. Mr. Baxendale was in London,
parliamentarily occupied. At eleven next morning he went again to
Banbrigg. Again he was but a short time absent, and in his face, as he
entered the drawing-room, Mrs. Baxendale read catastrophe.
'She has gone!' he said. 'She left very early this morning. The girl has
no idea where she has gone to, but says she won't return--that she has
left for good. What does this mean?'
'What does it mean?' the lady repeated musingly. 'I wonder, I wonder.'
'She knew I called yesterday; I left my name. She has gone to avoid me.'
'That may be. But all her preparations were evidently made.'
'But it may not be true. The girl of course would say whatever she was
bidden to. I don't believe that she has really gone.'
'I do,' said Mrs. Baxendale, with quiet significance.
'On what grounds? You know more than you will tell me. Is there no one
with common humanity? Why do you plot against me? Why won't you tell me
what you know?'
'I will, if you sit down there and endeavour to command yourself. That
is, I will tell you certain things that I have heard, and something that
I have seen. Then we will reason about them.'
Wilfrid's brow darkened. He prepared to listen.
'About six weeks ago,' the lady began, 'I went to see a friend of mine,
a lady who was recovering from an illness, someone who knows Emily,
though not intimately. In her illness she was nursed by the same woman
who helped poor Mrs. Hood when Emily was in her fever. This woman, it
appears, was induced to talk about Emily, and gave it as a secret that
Emily's illness had something to do with an attachment between her and
Mr. Dagworthy, her father's employer. Her grounds for believing this
were, first of all, the fact of Emily frequently uttering his name in
her delirium, with words which seemed to refer to some mystery between
them; then the circumstance of Mr. Dagworthy's having, shortly after,
left a note at the house, with special injunctions to the servant that
it should be given into Emily's own hands. This story, you may imagine,
surprised me not a little. A few days later Mr. Dagworthy dined with us,
and I took an opportunity of talking with him; it seemed to me certain
that Emily had some special place in his thoughts. I know, too, that he
was particularly anxious throughout the time of her illness, and that of
her mother.'
The listener was paralysed.
'Why have you kept this from me?' he asked, indignation blending with
his misery.
'Because it was no better than gossip and speculation. I had no right to
report such things--at all events, so it seemed to me. Now I am going to
add something which may be the wildest error, but which cannot trouble
you much if you imagine that the story is true. Yesterday, just before I
came home to find you here, I met Mr. Dagworthy by chance in a draper's
shop, and he told me that he was going away to-day, leaving England.'
'To-day?'
'Yes. And I saw that he had been buying a box of ladies' gloves.'
'What do you mean?' Wilfrid stammered out.
'I know that he has no female relatives--except his wife's, who live in
another part of England, and are on bad terms with him.'
'His _wife_--you said?'
'His late wife; he is a widower. Now we may be imagining in the silliest
way, but--'
'But why--' Wilfrid checked himself. 'Do I understand you? You think
Emily has gone with him--has gone to be married to him?'
'It is almost impossible seriously to think it.'
'And you think she would shrink from being married here?'
'For one or two reasons--at all events, so soon.'
'But is it possible to believe that she deliberately deceived you--made
a pretence of seeking employment?'
'I can't say. She never gave me any details of what she was doing.
Another thing--she would not come to stay with me after her mother's
funeral. Mr. Dagworthy lives on the Heath, only just beyond Banbrigg.
You see to what things we can be led, if we begin interpreting shadows;
but Emily is a mystery to me, and, as I have begun, I must gossip to you
all I know.'
Mrs. Baxendale was certainly doing more in the way of gossiping
conjecture than perhaps she had ever done before; the occasion excited
her, and that coincidence of Dagworthy's purchase, together with his
departure this very day, struck her with a force which unsettled her
usual balance of thought. Wilfrid was as ready to believe; to him there
was a certain strange relief in feeling that he had at length reached
the climax of his sufferings. He had only to give credence to Emily's
own words. She had said that a change had come in her heart, in her
life, and that she no longer loved him. Understand it he of course could
not, nor ever would, unless he lost all faith in woman's honour.
'But this can be either confirmed or refuted speedily,' he exclaimed.
'Can you not make inquiries of this Mr. Dagworthy's friends? If they
know nothing yet, they will soon hear from him.'
'Yes, I can make such inquiries. But he has a peculiar reputation in
Dunfield; I think he scarcely has an intimate friend.'
'Well, there is, at all events, Emily herself. If this story is
baseless, she will be writing to you.'
'I think so. Again we must wait. Poor Wilfrid! from my heart I feel for
you!'
It was decided that Wilfrid should remain in Dunfield for a day or two,
till news might be obtained. News came, however, sooner than was
anticipated. In the afternoon a letter was delivered, posted by Emily at
Pendal in the morning. She wrote to Mrs. Baxendale to say that she had
left to take a place in a school; then continued:
'I have a reason for leaving suddenly. A reason you will understand. I
should have come to say good-bye to you yesterday, but something
happened to prevent me. The same reason has decided me to keep secret
even from you, my dear and honoured friend, the place to which I am
going; in time you shall hear from me, for I know I cannot have
forfeited your love, though I fear I have given you pain. Think of me
with forbearance. I do what I _must_ do.'
That was all. No word for Wilfrid.
'This proves it,' Wilfrid said, with bitter coldness. 'All she says is
false. She does what she is ashamed of, and lies to conceal it for a few
days or weeks.'
'Do not let us even yet be sure,' said Mrs. Baxendale, who was
recovering her calmer judgment.
'I _am_ sure! Why should she keep the place secret? She fears that I
should follow her? Could she not anywhere keep me off by her mere
bidding? Have I been brutally importunate? What secret can exist that
she might not disclose to me--that she was not bound to disclose? I
thought her incapable of a breath of falsehood, and she must have
deceived me from the first, from the very first!'
'Wilfrid, that is impossible. I cannot abandon my faith in Emily. New you
speak in this way, it convinces me that we are wrong, utterly and
foolishly mistaken. I believe what she says here; she has _not_ gone
with him.'
Wilfrid laughed scornfully.
'It is too late; I can't twist my belief so quickly. I do not need that
kind of comfort; far easier to make up my mind that I have always been
fooled--as I have!'
He was beyond the stage at which reasoning is possible; reaction, in
full flood, beat down the nobler features of his mind and swamped him
with the raging waters of resentment.
So here was a myth well on its way to establishment. For no one could
afford Mrs. Baxendale satisfactory news of Dagworthy. She would not take
the only step which remained, that of openly avowing to his partner the
information she desired to obtain, and getting him to make inquiries his
partner appeared to be the only person in direct communication with
Dagworthy. It had to be remembered that Emily's own statement might be
true; she must not be spoken of lightly. It was said that Mr. Legge, the
partner, pooh-poohed the idea that Dagworthy was secretly married. But
Mr. Legge might know as little as other people.
There were circles in Dunfield in which another and quite a different
myth grew up around the name of Emily Hood. The Cartwrights originated
it. They too had received a mysterious note of farewell, and their
interpretation was this Emily, they held, had gone to London, there to
be happily married to a certain Mr. Athel, a gentleman of aristocratic
appearance and enormously wealthy. Mrs. Baxendale heard this story now
and again; she neither affirmed nor contradicted. Jessie Cartwright
reflected much on Emily's slyness in keeping her affairs so secret. She
was not as envious as she would have been but for a certain compact
which she was determined should not--if it lay in her power to prevent
it--be some day laughed away as a mere joke. And had she not received,
on the very eve of Dagworthy's departure, a box of gloves, which could
only come from one person?
The second myth holds its ground, I believe, to the present day. The
more mischievous fable was refuted before very long, but only when it
had borne results for Wilfrid practically the same as if it had been a
truth.