BILL NYE.

I have just returned from a little trip up from the North Wisconsin

Railway, where I went to catch a string of codfish and anything else

that might be contagious.

Northern Wisconsin is the place where they yank a big wet log into a

mill and turn it into cash as quick as a railroad man can draw his

salary out of the pay-car. The log is held on a carriage by means of

iron dogs while it is being worked into lumber. These iron dogs are not

like those we see on the front steps of a brown stone front

occasionally. They are another breed of dogs.

The managing editor of the mill lays out the log in his mind and works

it into dimension stuff, shingles, bolts, slabs, edgings, two-by-fours,

two-by-eights, two-by-sixes, etc., so as to use the goods to the best

advantage, just as a woman takes a dress-pattern and cuts it so she

won't have to piece the front breadths and will still have enough left

to make a polonaise for last summer's gown.

I stood there for a long time watching the various saws and listening to

the monstrous growl and wishing that I had been born a successful

timber-thief instead of a poor boy without a rag to my back.

At one of these mills not long ago, a man backed up to get away from the

carriage and thoughtlessly backed against a large saw that was revolving

at the rate of about 200 times a minute. The saw took a large chew of

tobacco from the plug he had in his pistol pocket and then began on

him.

But there's no use going into the details. Such things are not cheerful.

They gathered him up out of the saw-dust and put him in a nail keg and

carried him away, but he did not speak again. Life was quite extinct.

Whether it was the nervous shock that killed him, or the concussion of

the cold saw against his liver that killed him no one ever knew.

The mill shut down a couple of hours so that the head sawyer could file

his saw, and then work was resumed once more.

We should learn from this never to lean on the buzz-saw when it moveth

itself aright.

Bill Nye's Cordwood · 第 47 / 69 题