A zealous priest in the north of Ireland missed a constant auditor from
his congregation, in which schism had already made depredations. "What
keeps our friend Farmer B----away from us?" was the anxious question
proposed by the vigilant minister to his assistant, "I have not seen him
among us," continued he, "these three weeks; I hope it is not
Protestantism that keeps him away," "No," was the reply, "it is worse
than that." "Worse than Protestantism? God forbid it should,--Deism?"
"No, worse than that." "Worse than Deism! good heavens, I trust it is
not Atheism." "No, worse than Atheism!" "Impossible, nothing can be
worse than Atheism!" "Yes, it is, your honour--_it is Rheumatism_!"
* * * * *