The days passed on, March had almost come, and Paul heard nothing. His
father noticed the daily look of strain, and his mother anxiously inquired
if he were dull, and if he would not like her to have some people to stay,
and thus divert him in some fashion. And Paul had answered with what grace
he could.
An intense temptation came over him to read all the Court news. He longed
to pick up the ladies' papers he saw in his mother's sitting-room; such
journals, he knew, delighted to publish the doings of royal lives. But the
stern self-control which now he practised in all the ruling of his life
prevented him. No, he had promised never to investigate--and neither in the
letter, nor the spirit, would he break his word, whatever the
suffering. The news, when it came, must be from his beloved one direct.
But oh! the unrest of these hours. Had their hope come true?--and how was
she? The days passed in a gnawing anxiety. He was so restless he could
hardly fix his attention on anything. It required the whole of his will to
keep him taking in the sense of the Parliamentary books which were now his
study. The constant query would raise its head between each page--"What
news of my Queen?--what news of my Queen?"
Each mail as it came in made his heart beat, and often his hand trembled as
he lifted his pile of letters. But no sight of her writing gladdened his
eyes, until he began to be like the sea and its tides, rising twice a day
in a rushing hope with the posts, and sinking again in disappointment.
He grew to look haggard, and his father's heart ached for him in
silence. At length one morning, when he had almost trained himself not to
glance at his correspondence, which came as he was dawdling over an early
breakfast, his eye caught a foreign-looking letter lying on the top. It
was no hand he knew--but something told him it contained a message--from
his Queen.
He dominated himself; he would not even look at the postmark until he was
away up in his own room. No eye but Pike's must see his joy--or sorrow and
disappointment. And so the letter burnt in his pocket until his sanctum was
reached, and then with agonised impatience he opened the envelope.
Within was another of the familiar paper he knew, and ah! thank God,
addressed in pencil in his lady's own hand. Inside it contained an
enclosure, but the sheet was blank. With wildly beating heart and trembling
fingers Paul undid the smaller packet's folded ends. And there the morning
sunbeams fell on a tiny curl of hair, of that peculiar nondescript shade of
infant fairness which later would turn to gold. It was less than an inch
long, and of the fineness of down, while in tender care it had been tied
with a thread of blue silk.
Written on the paper underneath were the words:
"Beloved, he is so strong and fair, thy son, born the 19th of February."
For a moment Paul closed his eyes, and as once before a choir of seraphims
were singing in his ears.
Then he looked at this minute lock again, and touched it with his
forefinger. The strangest emotion he had ever known quivered through his
being--the concentrated sensation of what he used to feel when his lady had
spoken of their hope--a weird, tremulous, physical thrill. The dear small
curl of hair! The actual, tangible proof of his own living son. He lifted
it with the greatest reverence to his lips, and a mist of joy swam in his
blue eyes. Ah! it was all too wonderful--too divine the thought! The
essence of their great love--this child of his and hers. His and hers!
Yes, their hope had not deceived them. It was true! It was true!
Then his mind rose in passionate worship of his lady. His goddess and
Queen--the mainspring of his watch of life--the supreme and absolute
mistress of his heart and soul. Never had he more madly desired and loved
her than this day. He kissed and kissed her words in deep devotion.
But how and where was she?--was she well?--was she ill? Had she been
suffering? Oh! that he could fly to her. More than ever the terrible gall
of their separation came to him. It was his right, by every law of nature,
to now be by her side.
But she was well--she must be well, or she would have said, and surely he
soon would see her.
It was like a voice from heaven, her little written words, bridging the
impossible--drawing him back to the knowledge and certainty that she was
there, for him to love, and one day to go to. Fate could never be so unjust
as to part him from--the mother of his child.
And then a state of mad ecstasy came over Paul with that vision; he could
not stay in the house; he must go out under God's sky, and let his
soul-thoughts fly into space. Dazzling pictures came to him; surely the
spring was in his heart breaking through the frozen ground like a single
golden crocus he saw at his feet--surely, surely the sun of life would
shine again, and living he should see her.
He strode away, Pike gambolling beside him, and racing ahead and back
again, seeming to understand and participate in his master's inward joy.
Paul hardly noticed where he went, his thoughts exalting him so that he did
not even heed to choose his favourite haunt, the wood against the
sky-line. It was as if great blocks of icy fear and anguish were melting in
the warmth. Hope and glory shone on his path, almost blinding him.
He left the park far behind, and struck away across the moor. As he passed
some gipsy vans a swarthy young woman looked out, an infant in her arms,
and gave him a smiling greeting. But Paul stopped and said good-day,
tossing her a sovereign with laughing, cheery words--for her little
child--and so passed on, his glad face radiant as the morn.
But the woman called after him in gratitude:
"Blessings on your honour. Your own will grace a throne."
And the strange coincidence of her prophecy set fresh thrills of delight
bounding in Paul's veins.
He walked and walked, stopping to lunch at an inn miles away. He could not
bear even to see his parents--or the familiar scenes at home; and as once
before he had felt in his grief--he and his joy must be alone to-day.
When he turned to come back in the late afternoon, the torrent of his wild
happiness had crystallised itself into coherent thought and question.
Surely she would send him some more words and make some plan to see
him. But at least he was in touch with her again and knew she was his
own--his own. The silence had broken, and human ingenuity would find some
way of meeting.
The postmark was Vienna--though that meant nothing at all; she could have
sent Dmitry there to post the letter. But at best, even if it were Russia,
a few days' journey only separated him from his darling and--his son! Then
the realisation of that proud fact of parenthood came over him again. He
said the words aloud, "My son!"
And with a cry of wild exaltation he vaulted a gate like a schoolboy and
ran along the path, Pike bounding in the air in frantic sympathy. Thus Paul
returned to his home again, hope singing in his heart.
* * * * *
But even his father did not guess why that night at dinner he raised his
champagne glass and drank a silent toast--his eyes gazing into distance as
if he there saw heaven.