A MILLION DOLLAR BUSINESS WITH A ONE DOLLAR CAPITAL.
Soon after my encounter at S---- with the unspeakable W----, I met
Major St. A----, who gave a cordial invitation to myself and family to
become his guests in his new town of T----, with a view to securing
our cooperation in the development of his multitudinous schemes. This
invitation we accepted, and very early one beautiful morning in March,
my wife, four children and myself, with driver and guide, embarked on
a "prairie schooner," drawn by three horses, for the promised land.
It was an ideal drive through many miles of fragrant, towering pine
trees, fording beautiful lakes, catching fish, shooting game, camping
for refreshment on the banks of crystal clear brooks. The oldest girls
would ride on the horses' backs, chase quails, pluck the wayside
flowers, occasionally watching the flight of paroquettes flashing like
diamonds through the air, listening to the mockingbirds filling the
woods with their exquisite songs, and inhaling as it were the ether of
the immortal Gods, the matchless, perfumed, life-giving Florida air.
All at once, with little warning, as is usual in semi-tropical lands,
the night fell, and our learned guide suddenly found that he had lost
the trail. The owls hooted, the wild-cats screamed, likewise the
"kids," with overpowering fear. We plunged ahead at random, when we
suddenly found the water pouring through the bottom of our "schooner."
The horses reared and plunged, snorting in terror probably at the near
approach of some water snake or alligator.
We might have been all drowned, had we not discovered a lantern hung
in a tree by our expectant friends, towards which we steered our
course to dry land. By the aid of the light we found the trail, and at
length reached the Major's hotel, hungry and tired. Here we found our
embarrassed host haggling and swearing with a bearer of provisions who
refused to leave the goods until he received his payment therefor.
Our landlord appeared to be "dead broke," but finally persuaded the
reluctant provision-dealer to go away with his pockets filled with
"I.O.U.'s" instead of cash, and about midnight on the verge of
starvation we fully appreciated an abundant feast. We soon found that
our, enthusiastic friend was trying to do a million dollar business
on a one dollar capital. He was building two railroads, running a
steamboat line, a hotel, a sawmill, building a town and a fifty
thousand dollar opera house for a one hundred population town, with
not a dollar in his pocket.
[Illustration: Flight of the Governor and Staff.]
The next day we sailed on his steamer to meet the governor of the
state, and his staff who were invited to attend a ball in his honor.
The crew was mutinous on account of receiving no pay, the antiquated
machinery broke down every few minutes, and the Major had a fierce
quarrel with a negro minister who had paid first-class fare and
refused to take second-class quarters, to which all colored folks were
forced at the muzzle of the revolver, and a bloody race battle was
only avoided by the fact that the negroes were entirely unarmed.
At length, loading the deck with wild ducks, and fish that fairly
jumped into the little boat to avoid their enemies, the ferocious
gar-fish, we took the governor and staff on board, and floundered back
at a snail's pace to T----. At the landing, we boarded a dilapidated
street car drawn by mules, for the hotel.
Soon--crash! bang, a rail gave way, sending the dignified
governor,--stove-pipe hat flying in the air, coat-tails covering his
head,--into a ditch, his long legs kicking frantically to extricate
his head from the mud. We rescued him and staff with difficulty from
the filth, looking like a bedraggled pack of half-drowned rats.
Finally we reached the hotel, when the colored orchestra from
Jacksonville rushed upon our host demanding their pay in advance,
with furious oaths and unclassical imprecations. In some way, the
embarrassed diplomat silenced their clamors; then the colored waiters
struck for their pay, and "razors were flying in the air." The furious
landlord at last quieted their clamor with a shotgun, and at about
midnight the grand march was sounded, and a nearly famished crowd made
desperate efforts to look cheerful and "trip the light fantastic toe."
All earthly horrors have an end, and in the wee small hours a starving
multitude was treated to a barbacue by our half-crazed host.
Almost every white man in this town sold chain-lightning whiskey, and
in our short walk from dance hall to hotel we were obliged to jump
over the prostrate forms of drunken darkies.
As in the lowlands, bordering upon large bodies of water, in all
tropical and semi-tropical countries, we found, to our horror and
dismay, the mosquitoes in ferocious, bloodthirsty swarms which
rendered life not worth the living; so, as soon as we could, without
seriously offending our host, we took our flight, at least what little
there was left of us, to the delightful highlands of Marion County.
Here, free from the horrors of mosquitoes, we recruited our attenuated
bodies at the elegant Ocala House, thence by rail to Jacksonville
where we took the steamer for home. Off Hatteras we encountered a wild
storm which sent our great boat well-nigh to the stars, then with an
almost perpendicular plunge, almost to Davy Jones' locker, until, with
the nauseating sea-sickness, we were afraid, first that we should die
and later we only feared lest we should not die.
At last the young cyclone subsided, and we sailed over a tranquil
sea into Boston harbor, thence by rail to our Bay state home. At
Jacksonville, by the way, we had an experience quite characteristic of
those ante-free-delivery days of old. I went to the post-office for
our mail, having but a few minutes to spare before the departure of
the north-bound train. To my disgust, I found a line of negroes nearly
half a mile in length waiting their turns for calling for letters. One
would step to the window and in an exasperatingly in-no-hurry way,
say: "Anything for Andrew Jackson, sah?" After a long delay--"no!"
"Do yer 'spect dere may be soon, sah?"
"Did you expect any?" came the reply.
"No sah, but sumbudy might write, sah."
"Gwan, next!" Then some white man in a hurry would step up to
next--"here's a quarter for your place, git aout!" The darky would
pocket his money with a broad grin, and but for his ears, the top of
his head would be an island.
I could not wait, and would not bribe, so went to the door of the
office, and kicked and banged furiously. "G'way fum de doo'! What de
hell you do on de doo'?" came from the inside.
"I'm a government officer from Washington," I shouted. "Open the door
or I'll knock it down." Out popped the "cullud pusson" profuse in
apologies. I grabbed my mail and rushed for the train in the very nick
of time.