JOKE FROM HARPER'S DRAWER.

WHO is not carried back to good old times as he reads this sketch of

Connecticut goin' to meetin' fifty years ago? It is a genuine story

contributed to the Drawer:

"In the early part of the ministry of Rev. Jehu C----k, who preached

many years in one of the pleasant towns in the western part of

Connecticut, it was the custom of many of the good ladies from the

distant parts of his parish to bring with them food, which they ate at

noon; or as they used to say, 'between the intermission.' Some brought a

hard-boiled egg, some a nut-cake, some a sausage; but one good woman,

who had tried them all, and found them all too dry, brought some pudding

and milk. In order to bring it in a dish from which it would not spill

over on the road, and yet be convenient to eat from, she took a pitcher

with a narrow neck at the top, but spreading at the bottom. Arrived at

the meeting-house, she placed it under the seat. The exercises of the

day soon commenced, and the old lady became wholly rapt in her

devotional feelings. Though no philosopher, she knew by practice--as

many church-goers seem to have learned--that she could receive and

'inwardly digest' the sermon by shutting her eyes, and opening her

mouth, and allowing all her senses to go to sleep. While thus prepared,

and lost to all external impressions, she was suddenly startled by a

rustling and splashing under the seat. She had no time to consider the

cause before she discovered her dog, Put, backing out with the neck of

the pitcher over his head, and the pudding and milk drizzling out. Poor

Put had been fixing his thoughts on material objects alone; and taking

advantage of the quietness of the occasion, had crept under the seat of

his mistress, where he was helping himself to a dinner. His head had

glided easily through the narrow portion of the pitcher; but, when quite

in, it was as securely fixed as an eel in a pot. Unable to extricate

himself, he had no alternative but to be smothered or back out. The old

lady bore the catastrophe in no wise quietly. A thousand terrible

thoughts rushed into her mind; the ludicrous appearance of the dog and

pitcher, the place, the occasion, the spattering of her garments, the

rascally insult of the puppy--but, above all, the loss of her

'Sabber-day' dinner. At the top of her voice she cried,

"'Get out, Put! get out! Oh, Jehu! I'm speakin' right out in meetin'!

Oh! I'm talkin' all the time!'

"The scene that followed is not to be described. The frightened old lady

seized her dog and pitcher, and rushed out of meeting; the astonished

preacher paused in the midst of his discourse, while the whole

congregation were startled out of their propriety by the explosion; and

it was some time before order and the sermon were again resumed."

The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun; containing a collection of over one thousand of the most laughable sayings and jokes of celebrated wits and humorists. · 第 596 / 709 题