THE river _Monitor_ tells the following story:
A countryman (farmer) went into a store in Boston, the other day, and
told the keeper that a neighbor of his had entrusted him some money to
expend to the best advantage, and he meant to do it where he would be
the best treated. He had been used very ill by the traders in Boston,
and he would not part with his neighbor's money until he had found a man
who would treat him about right. With the utmost suavity the trader
says:
"I think I can treat you to your liking; how do you want to be treated?"
"Well," said the farmer, with a leer in his eye, "in the first place, I
want a glass of toddy," which was forthcoming. "Now I will have a nice
cigar," says the countryman. It was promptly handed him, leisurely
lighted, and then throwing himself back with his feet as high as his
head, he commenced puffing away like a Spaniard.
"Now what do you want to purchase?" says the store-keeper.
"My neighbor," said the countryman, "handed me two cents when I left
home, to buy a plug of tobacco--have you got that article?"
The store-keeper sloped instanter.