A GENTLEMAN from Swampville, State of New York, was telling how many
different occupations he had attempted. Among others he had tried school
teaching. "How long did you teach?" asked a by-stander.
"Wal, I didn't teach long; that is, I only _went_ to teach."
"Did you hire out?"
"Wal, I didn't hire out; I only _went_ to hire out."
"Why did you give it up?"
"Wal, I gave it up--for some reason or nuther. You see, I traveled into
a deestrict and inquired for the trustees. Somebody said Mr. Snickles
was the man I wanted to see. So I found Mr. Snickles,--named my
objic--interduced myself--and asked him what he thought about lettin'
me try my luck with the big boys and unruly gals of the deestrict. He
wanted to know if I really thought myself capable; and I told him I
wouldn't mind him asken me a few easy questions in 'rithmetic, jography,
or showin' my handwritin'. But he said, No, never mind, he could tell a
good teacher by his _gait_. 'Let me see you walk off a little ways,'
says he, 'and I can tell jis's well's I'd heared you examined,' says he.
"He sot in the door as he spoke, and I thought, he looked a little
skittish; but I was consider'bly frustrated, and didn't mind much; so I
turned about and walked off as smart as I know'd how. He said he would
tell me when to stop, so I kep' on 'till I tho't I'd gone far 'nough; I
then 'spected suthin' was to pay, and looked round. _The door was shet,
and Snickles was gone!_"