A GROOM is a chap, that a gentleman keeps to clean his 'osses, and be
blown up, when things go wrong. They are generally wery conceited
consequential beggars, and as they never knows nothing, why the best way
is to take them so young, that they can't pretend to any knowledge. I
always get mine from the charity schools, and you'll find it wery good
economy, to apply to those that give the boys leather breeches, as it
will save you the trouble of finding him a pair. The first thing to do,
is to teach him to get up early, and to hiss at everything he brushes,
rubs, or touches. As the leather breeches should be kept for Sundays,
you must get him a pair of corderoys, and mind, order them of large
size, and baggy behind, for many 'osses have a trick of biting at chaps
when they are cleaning them; and it is better for them to have a
mouthful of corderoy, than the lad's bacon, to say nothing of the loss
of the boy's services, during the time he is laid up.--_John Jorrock's
Sporting Lectures._