IN some of our towns we don't allow smokin' in the streets, though most
of them we do, and where it is agin law, it is two dollars fine in a
gineral way. Well, Sassy went down to Boston, to do a little chore of
business there, where this law was, only he didn't know it. So, soon as
he gets off the coach, he outs with his case, takes a cigar, lights it,
and walks on, smoking like a furnace flue. No sooner said than done. Up
steps a constable and says, "I'll trouble you for two dollars for
smokin' agin law, in the streets." Sassy was as quick as wink on him.
"Smokin'!" says he; "I warn't a smokin'." "O, my!" says constable, "how
you talk, man! I won't say you lie, 'cause it aint polite, but it's very
like the way I talk when I fib. Didn't I see you with my own eyes?"
"No," says Sassy, "you didn't. It don't do always to believe your own
eyes, they can't be depended on more than other people's. I never trust
mine, I can assure you. I own I had a cigar in my mouth, but it was
because I liked the flavor of tobacco, but not to smoke. I take it don't
convene with the dignity of a free and enlightened citizen of our
almighty nation, to break the law, seein' that he makes the law himself,
and is his own sovereign, and his own subject, too. No, I warn't
smokin', and if you don't believe me, try this cigar yourself, and see
if it aint so. It han't got no fire in it." Well, constable takes the
cigar, puts it into his mug, and draws away at it, and out comes the
smoke like anythin'. "I'll trouble _you_ for two dollars, Mr. High
Sheriff's representative," says Sassy, "for smokin' in the streets; do
you underconstand, my old coon?" Well, constable was taken all aback; he
was finely bit. "Stranger," says he, "where was you raised?" "To Canady
line," says Sassy. "Well," says he, "you're a credit to your broughtens
up. We'll let the fine drop, for we are about even, I guess. Let's
liquor," and he took him into a bar and treated him to a mint julep. It
was generally considered a great bite, that, and I must say, I don't
think it was bad--do you?--_Sam Slick._