KISSES.

WHEN an impudent fellow attempts to kiss a Tennessee girl, she "cuts

your acquaintance;" all their "divine luxuries are preserved for the lad

of their own choice." When you kiss an Arkansas girl, she hops as high

as a cork out of a champagne bottle, and cries, "Whew, how good!" Catch

an Illinois girl and kiss her, and she'll say, "Quit it now, you know

I'll tell mamma!" A kiss from the girls of old Williamson is a tribute

paid to their beauty, taste, and amiability. It is not _accepted_,

however, until the gallant youth who offers it is _accepted_ as the lord

of their hearts' affections, and firmly united with one, his "chosen

love," beneath the same bright star that rules their destiny for ever.

The common confectionery make-believe kisses, wrapped in paper, with a

verse to sweeten them, won't answer with them. We are certain they

won't, for we once saw such a one handed to a beautiful young lady with

the following:--

I'd freely give whole years of bliss,

To gather from thy lips one kiss.

To which the following prompt and neat response was immediately

returned:--

Young men present these to their favourite Miss,

And think by such means to entrap her;

But la! they ne'er catch us with this kind of kiss,

The right kind hain't got any wrapper.

If you kiss a Mississippian gal she'll flare-up like a scorched feather,

and return the compliment by bruising your sky-lights, or may-be giving

the _quid pro quo_ in the shape of a blunder-_buss_. Baltimore girls,

more beautiful than any in the world, all meet you with a half-smiling,

half-saucy, come-kiss-me-if-you-dare kind of a look, but you must be

careful of the first essay. After that no difficulty will arise, unless

you be caught attempting to kiss another--then look out for thundergust.

When a Broome girl gets a _smack_, she exclaims, "If it was anybody else

but you, I'd make a fuss about it."

The Book of Anecdotes and Budget of Fun; containing a collection of over one thousand of the most laughable sayings and jokes of celebrated wits and humorists. · 第 37 / 709 题