"And now I live--O wherefore do I live?
And with that pang I prayed to be no more."
WORDSWORTH.
IT was about nine o'clock that evening, and Maltravers was alone in his
room. His carriage was at the door--his servants were arranging the
luggage--he was going that night to Burleigh. London--society-the
world--were grown hateful to him. His galled and indignant spirit
demanded solitude. At this time, Lumley Ferrers entered.
"You will pardon my intrusion," said the latter, with his usual
frankness--"but--"
"But what, sir? I am engaged."
"I shall be very brief. Maltravers, you are my old friend. I retain
regard and affection for you, though our different habits have of late
estranged us. I come to you from my cousin--from Florence--there has
been some misunderstanding between you. I called on her to-day after
you left the house. Her grief affected me. I have only just quitted
her. She has been told by some gossip or other some story or
other--women are credulous, foolish creatures;--undeceive her, and, I
dare say, all may be settled."
"Ferrers, if a man had spoken to me as Lady Florence did, his blood or
mine must have flowed. And do you think that words that might have
plunged me into the guilt of homicide if uttered by a man, I could ever
pardon in one whom I had dreamed of for a wife? Never!"
"Pooh, pooh--women's words are wind. Don't throw away so splendid a
match for such a trifle."
"Do you too, sir, mean to impute mercenary motives to me?"
"Heaven forbid! You know I am no coward, but I really don't want to
fight you. Come, be reasonable."
"I dare say you mean well, but the breach is final--all recurrence to it
is painful and superfluous. I must wish you good evening."
"You have positively decided?"
"I have."
"Even if Lady Florence made the /amende honorable/?"
"Nothing on the part of Lady Florence could alter my resolution. The
woman whom an honourable man--an English gentleman--makes the partner of
his life, ought never to listen to a syllable against his fair name: his
honour is hers, and if her lips, that should breathe comfort in calumny,
only serve to retail the lie--she may be beautiful, gifted, wealthy, and
high-born, but he takes a curse to his arms. That curse I have
escaped."
"And this I am to say to my cousin?"
"As you will. And now stay, Lumley Ferrers, and hear me. I neither
accuse nor suspect you, I desire not to pierce your heart, and in this
case I cannot fathom your motives; but if it should so have happened
that you have, in any way, ministered to Lady Florence Lascelles'
injurious opinions of my faith and honour, you will have much to answer
for, and sooner or later there will come a day of reckoning between you
and me."
"Mr. Maltravers, there can be no quarrel between us, with my cousin's
fair name at stake, or else we should not now part without preparations
for a more hostile meeting. I can bear your language. /I/, too, though
no philosopher, can forgive. Come, man, you are heated--it is very
natural;--let us part friends--your hand."
"If you can take my hand, Lumley, you are innocent, and I have wronged
you."
Lumley smiled, and cordially pressed the hand of his old friend.
As he descended the stairs, Maltravers followed, and just as Lumley
turned into Curzon Street, the carriage whirled rapidly past him, and by
the lamps he saw the pale and stern face of Maltravers.
It was a slow, drizzling rain,--one of those unwholesome nights frequent
in London towards the end of autumn. Ferrers, however, insensible to
the weather, walked slowly and thoughtfully towards his cousin's house.
He was playing for a mighty stake, and hitherto the cast was in his
favour, yet he was uneasy and perturbed. His conscience was tolerably
proof to all compunction, as much from the levity as from the strength
of his nature; and (Maltravers removed) he trusted in his knowledge of
the human heart, and the smooth speciousness of his manner, to win, at
last, in the hand of Lady Florence, the object of his ambition. It was
not on her affection, it was on her pique, her resentment, that he
relied. "When a woman fancies herself slighted by the man she loves,
the first person who proposes must be a clumsy wooer indeed, if he does
not carry her away." So reasoned Ferrers, but yet he was ruffled and
disquieted; the truth must be spoken,--able, bold, sanguine, and
scornful as he was, his spirit quailed before that of Maltravers; he
feared the lion of that nature when fairly aroused: his own character
had in it something of a woman's--an unprincipled, gifted, aspiring, and
subtle woman's,--and in Maltravers--stern, simple, and masculine--he
recognised the superior dignity of the "lords of the creation;" he was
overawed by the anticipation of a wrath and revenge which he felt he
merited, and which he feared might be deadly.
While gradually, however, his spirit recovered its usual elasticity, he
came in the vicinity of Lord Saxingham's house, and suddenly, by a
corner of the street, his arm was seized: to his inexpressible
astonishment he recognised in the muffled figure that accosted him the
form of Florence Lascelles.
"Good heavens!" he cried, "is it possible?--You, alone in the streets,
at this hour, in such a night, too! How very wrong--how very
imprudent!"
"Do not talk to me--I am almost mad as it is: I could not rest--I could
not brave quiet, solitude,--still less, the face of my father--I could
not!--but quick, what says he?--What excuse has he? Tell me
everything--I will cling to a straw."
"And is this the proud Florence Lascelles?"
"No,--it is the humbled Florence Lascelles. I have done with
pride--speak to me!"
"Ah, what a treasure is such a heart! How can he throw it away?"
"Does he deny?"
"He denies nothing--he expresses himself rejoiced to have escaped--such
was his expression--a marriage in which his heart never was engaged. He
is unworthy of you--forget him."
Florence shivered, and as Ferrers drew her arm in his own, her ungloved
hand touched his, and the touch was like that of ice.
"What will the servants think?--what excuse can we make?" said Ferrers,
when they stood beneath the porch. Florence did not reply; but as the
door opened, she said softly,--
"I am ill--ill," and clung to Ferrers with that unnerved and heavy
weight which betokens faintness.
The light glared on her--the faces of the lacqueys betokened their
undisguised astonishment. With a violent effort, Florence recovered
herself, for she had not yet done with pride, swept through the hall
with her usual stately step, slowly ascended the broad staircase, and
gained the solitude of her own room, to fall senseless on the floor.