It was a brilliant July morning when I first donned my regimentals for
actual service. Dugald M'Tavish, a caddy from the corner of the street,
had been parading Masaniello, fully caparisoned for action, before the
door at least half an hour before I was ready, to the no small
delectation of two servant hizzies who were sweeping out the stairs, and
a diminutive baker's boy.
"Tak' a cup o' coffee afore ye get up on that muckle funking beast,
Maister George," said Nelly; "and mind ye, that if ye are brocht hame
this day wi' yer feet foremost, it's no me that has the wyte o't."
"Confound you, Nelly! what do you keep croaking for in that way?"
"It's a' ane to me; but, O man, ye're unco like Rehoboam! Atweel ye
needna flounce at that gate. Gang yer wa's sodgerin', and see what'll
come o't. It's ae special mercy that there's a hantle o' lint in the
hoose, and the auld imbrocation for broken banes; and, in case o' the
warst, I'll ha'e the lass ready to rin for Doctor Scouther."
This was rather too much; so, with the reverse of a benediction on my
gouvernante, I rushed from the house, and, with the assistance of
Dugald, succeeded in mounting Masaniello, a task of no small difficulty,
as that warlike quadruped persisted in effecting a series of
peripherical evolutions.
"And whan wull ye be back, and what wall ye ha'e for denner?" were the
last words shouted after me as I trotted off to the rendezvous.
It was still early, and there were not many people abroad. A few faces,
decorated with the picturesque mutch, occasionally appeared at the
windows, and one or two young rascals, doubtless descendants of the
disaffected who fell at Bonnymuir, shouted "Dook!" as I rode along.
Presently I fell in with several of my comrades, amongst whom I
recognised with pleasure Randolph and Anthony Whaup.
"By Jove, M'Whirter!" said the former, "that's a capital mount of yours.
I don't think there is a finer horse in the troop; and I say, old chap,
you sit him as jauntily as a janissary!"
"He has had hard work to do it though, as I can testify," remarked
Anthony, whose gelding seemed to be an animal of enviable placidity. "I
wish you had seen us both at Kickshaw's a week ago."
"I dare say, but there's nothing like practice. Hold hard, M'Whirter!
If you keep staring up that way, you may have a shorter ride of it than
you expect. Easy--man--easy! That brute has the mettle of Beelzebub."
The remark was not uncalled for. We were passing at that moment before
the Bogles' house, and I could not resist the temptation of turning
round to gaze at the window of Edith, in the faint hope that she might
be a spectator of our expedition. In doing so, my left spur touched
Masaniello in the flank, a remembrancer which he acknowledged with so
violent a caper, that I was very nearly pitched from the saddle.
"Near shave that, sir!" said Hargate, who now rode up to join us; "we'll
require to put you into the rear rank this time, where, by the way,
you'll be remarkably comfortable."
"I hope," said Anthony, "I may be entitled to the same privilege."
"Of course. Pounset, I think, will be your front-rank man. He's quite up
to the whole manoeuvre, only you must take care of his mare. But here
we are at Abbey-hill gate, and just in time."
I was introduced in due form to the officers of the squadron, with none
of whom I was previously acquainted, and was directed to take my place
as Randolph's rear-rank man, so that in file we marched together. Before
us were two veteran yeomen, and behind were Anthony and Pounset.
Nothing particular occurred during our march to Portobello sands.
Masaniello behaved in a manner which did him infinite credit, and
contributed not a little to my comfort. He neither reared nor plunged,
but contented him at times with a resolute shake of the head, as if he
disapproved of something, and an occasional sniff at Randolph's filly,
whenever she brought her head too near.
On arriving at the sands we formed into column, so that Anthony and I
were once more side by side. The other squadrons of the regiment were
already drawn up, and at any other time I should no doubt have
considered the scene as sufficiently imposing. I had other things,
however, to think of besides military grandeur.
"I say, Anthony," said I, somewhat nervously, "do you know anything
about these twistified manoeuvres?"
"Indeed I do not!" replied Whaup, "I've been puzzling my brains for the
last three days over the Yeomanry Regulations, but I can make nothing
out of their 'Reverse flanks' and 'Reforming by sections of threes?'"
"And I'm as ignorant as a baby! What on earth are we to do? That big
fellow of a sergeant won't let us stand quietly, I suppose."
"I stick to Pounset," said Whaup. "Whatever he does I do, and I advise
you to do the same by Randolph."
"But what if they should ride away? Isn't there some disgusting nonsense
about forming from threes?"
"I suppose the horses know something about it, else what's the
use of them? That brute of yours must have gone through the evolutions
a thousand times, and ought to know the word of command by
heart--Hallo!--I say, Pounset, just take care of that mare of yours,
will ye! She's kicking like the very devil, and my beast is beginning
to plunge!"
"I wouldn't be Pounset's rear-rank for twenty pounds," said a stalwart
trooper to the left. "She has the ugliest trick of using her heels of
any mare in Christendom."
"Much obliged to you, sir, for the information," said Whaup,
controlling, with some difficulty, the incessant curveting of his steed.
"I say, Pounset, if she tries that trick again I'll hamstring her
without the slightest ceremony."
"Pooh--nonsense!" replied Pounset. "Woa, Miss Frolic--woa, lass!--she's
the gentlest creature in the creation--a child might ride her with a
feather. Mere playfulness, my dear fellow, I assure you!"
"Hang her playfulness!" cried Anthony; "I've no idea of having my brains
made a batter pudding for the amusement of a jade like that."
"Are you sure, Whaup, that you did not tickle her tail?" asked Pounset,
with provoking coolness. "She's a rare 'un to scatter a crowd."
"Hang me if I'd come within three yards of her if I possibly could help
it," quoth Anthony. "If any gentleman in the neighbourhood has a fancy
to exchange places, I'm his man."
"Threes right!" cried the commanding-officer, and we executed a movement
of which I am wholly unconscious; for, to the credit of Masaniello be it
said, he took the direction in his own mouth, and performed it so as to
save his rider from reproach.
Then came the sword exercise, consisting of a series of slashes, which
went off tolerably well--then the skirmishing, when one of our flank men
was capsized--and at last, to my great joy, we were permitted to sit at
ease; that is, as easily as our previous exertions would allow. I then
learned to appreciate the considerate attention of the authorities in
abrogating the use of pistols. In each man's holsters were a soda-water
bottle, filled for the nonce with something more pungent than the
original Schweppe, and a cigar-case. These were now called into
requisition, and a dense wreath of smoke arose along the lines of the
squadron. The officer then in command embraced the opportunity of
addressing us in a pithy oration.
"Gentlemen!" said he, "I would not be performing my duty to my Queen and
my country, (cheers), if I did not express to you my extreme surprise
and satisfaction at the manner in which the new recruits have gone
through the preliminary drill. Upon my honour I expected that more than
one half of you would have been spilt--a spectacle which might possibly
have been pleasing to those veteran warriors of Dalmahoy, but which I
should have witnessed with extraordinary pain. As it is, you rode like
bricks. However, it is my duty to inform you, that a more serious trial
of your fortitude is about to come. The squadrons will presently form
together, and you will be called upon to charge. Many of you know very
well how to do that already"--
"Especially the Writers to the Signet," muttered Anthony.
"But there are others who are new to the movement. To those gentlemen,
therefore, I shall address a few words of caution; they are short and
simple. Screw yourselves tight in your saddles--hold hard at first--keep
together as you best can--think that the enemy are before you--and go at
it like blazes!"
A shout of approval followed this doughty address, and the heart of
every trooper burned with military ardour. For my own part, I was
becoming quite reconciled to the thing. I perfectly coincided with my
commanding-officer in his amazement at the adhesive powers of myself and
several others, and with desperate recklessness I resolved to test them
to the utmost. The bugle now sounded the signal to fall in. Soda bottles
and cigar-cases were returned to their original concealment, and we
once more took our respective places in the ranks.
"Now comes the fun," said Randolph, after the leading squadron had
charged in line. "Mind yourselves, boys!"
"March--trot--gallop."
On we went like waves of the sea, regularly enough at first, then
slightly inclining to the line of beauty, as some of the weaker hacks
began to show symptoms of bellows.
"Cha--a--rge!"
"Go ahead!" cried Randolph, sticking his spurs into his Bucephalus.
Masaniello, with a snort, fairly took the bridle into his teeth, and
dashed off with me at a speed which threatened to throw the ranks into
utter confusion. As for Pounset, he appeared to be possessed with the
fury of a demon. His kicking mare sent up at every stride large clods of
sand in the teeth of the unfortunate Anthony Whaup, whose presence of
mind seemed at last to have forsaken him.
"What the mischief are you after, Whaup?" panted the trooper on his
left. "Just take your foot out of my stirrup, will you?"
"Devil a bit!" quoth Anthony, "I'm too glad to get anything to hold on
by."
"If you don't, you're a gone 'coon. There!--I told you." And the steed
of Anthony was rushing riderless among the press.
I don't know exactly how we pulled up. I have an indistinct notion that
I owed my own arrest to Neptune, and that Masaniello was chest deep in
the sea before he paid the slightest attention to my convulsive tugs at
the bridle. Above the rush of waves I heard a yell of affright, and
perceived that I had nearly ridden over the carcass of a fat old
gentleman, who, _in puris naturalibus_, was disporting himself in the
water, and who now, in an agony of terror, and apparently under the
impression that he was a selected victim for the tender mercies of the
yeomanry, struck out vigorously for Inchkeith. I did not tarry to watch
his progress, but returned as rapidly as possible to the squadron.
By this time the shores of Portobello were crowded with habitual
bathers. There is a graceful _abandon_, and total absence of prudery,
which peculiarly characterise the frequenters of that interesting spot,
and reminds one forcibly of the manners of the Golden Age. Hirsute
Triton and dishevelled Nereid there float in unabashed proximity; and,
judging from the usual number of spectators, there is something
remarkably attractive in the style of these aquatic exercises.
The tide was pretty far out, so that of course there was a wide tract of
sand between the shingle and the sea. Our squadron was again formed in
line, when a bathing-machine was observed leisurely bearing down upon
our very centre, conveying its freight towards the salubrious waters.
"Confound that boy!" cried the commanding-officer; "he will be among the
ranks in a minute. Sergeant! ride out, and warn the young scoundrel off
at his peril."
The sergeant galloped towards the machine.
"Where are you going, you young scum of the earth? Do you not see the
troops before you? Get back this instant!"
"I'll do naething o' the kind," replied the urchin, walloping his bare
legs, by way of encouragement, against the sides of the anatomy he
bestrode. "The sands is just as free to huz as to ony o' ye, and I would
like to ken what richt ye have tae prevent the foulks frae bathin'."
"Do you dare to resist, you vagabond?" cried the man of stripes, with a
terrific flourish of his sabre. "Wheel back immediately, or"----and he
went through the first four cuts of the sword exercise.
"Eh man!" said the intrepid shrimp, "what wull ye do? Are ye no ashamed,
a great muckle fellie like you, to come majoring, an' shakin' yer swurd
at a bit laddie? Eh, man, if I was ner yer size, I'd gie ye a licking
mysel'. Stand oot o' the gate, I say, an' I'll sune run through the
haill o' ye. I'm no gaun to lose a saxpence for yeer nonsensical
parauds."
"Cancel my commission!" said the lieutenant, "if the brat hasn't
bothered the sergeant! The bathing-machine is coming down upon us like
the chariot of Queen Boadicea! This will never do. Randolph--you and
M'Whirter ride out and reinforce. That scoundrel is another Kellerman,
and will break us to a dead certainty!"
"Twa mair o' ye!" observed the youth with incredible nonchalance, as we
rode up with ferocious gestures. "O men, but ye're bauld bauld the day!
Little chance the Frenchies wad hae wi' the like o' you 'gin they were
comin'! Gee hup, Bauldy!"
"Come, come, my boy," said Randolph, nearly choking with laughter, "this
is all very well, but you must positively be off. Come, tumble round, my
fine fellow, and you shall have leave to pass presently."
"Aum no gaun to lose the tide that way," persevered the urchin. "The
sands is open to the haill o' huz, and I'll no gang back for nane o' ye.
Gin ye offer tae strike me, I'll hae the haill squad o' ye afore the
Provost o' Portobelly, and, ma certie, there'll be a wheen heels sune
coolin' in the jougs!"
"By heavens! this is absolutely intolerable!" said the
sergeant--"M'Whirter, order the man in the inside to open the door, and
come out in Her Majesty's name."
I obeyed, as a matter of course.
"I say--you, sir, inside--do you know where you are going? Right into
the centre of a troop of the Royal Yeomanry Cavalry! If you are a
gentleman and a loyal subject, you will open the door immediately, and
desire the vehicle to be stopped."
In order to give due effect to this remonstrance, and also to impress
the inmate with a proper sense of the consequences of interference with
martial discipline, I bestowed cut No. Seven with all my might upon the
machine. To my horror, and that of my companions, there arose from
within a prolonged and double-voiced squall.
"Hang me, if it isn't women!" said the sergeant.
"Yer mither wull be proud o' ye the nicht," said the Incubus on the
atomy, "when it's tell't her that ye hae whanged at an auld machine, and
frichtet twa leddies to the skirlin'! Ony hoo, M'Whirter, gin that's
your name, there'll be half-a-croun to pay for the broken brodd!"
The small sliding-panel at the back of the machine was now cautiously
opened.
"Goodness gracious, Mr M'Whirter!" said a voice which I instantly
recognised to be that of Edith Bogle, "is it possible that can be you?
Is it the custom, sir, of the Scottish yeomen to break in upon the
privacy of two young defenceless females, and even to raise their
weapons against the place which contains them? Fie, sir! is this your
boasted chivalry?"
"O George--go away, do! I am really quite ashamed of you!" said the
voice of my cousin, Mary Muggerland.
I thought I should have dropped from my saddle.
"Friends of yours, eh, M'Whirter?" said Randolph. "Rather an awkward
fix, I confess. What's to be done?"
"Would the regulars have behaved thus?" cried Edith, with increased
animation. "Would they have insulted a woman? Never. Begone, sir--I am
afraid I have been mistaken in you"----
"By my honour, Edith!--Miss Bogle, I mean--you do me gross injustice! I
did not know--I could not conceive that you, or Mary, or any other lady,
were in the machine, and then--consider my orders"----
"Orders, sir! There are some orders which never ought to be obeyed. But
enough of this. If you have delicacy enough to feel for our situation,
you will not protract this interview. Drive on, boy! and you, Mr
M'Whirter, if you venture to interrupt us further, never expect my
pardon."
"Nor mine!" added Mary Muggerland.
"Who the mischief cares for yours, you monkey!" muttered I _sotto voce_.
"But Edith--one other word"----
"Don't call me Edith, sir! This continued importunity is insufferable!
If you have any explanation to make, you must select a fitter time," and
the sliding-panel was instantly closed.
"Ye've cotohed it ony hoo!" said the shrimp, with a malignant leer.
"Wauken up, Bauldy, my man, and let's see how cleverly ye'll gae through
them!"
A few words of explanation satisfied our commanding-officer, and the
victorious machine rolled insultingly through the lines. I have not
spirits to narrate the further proceedings of that day. My heart was not
in the squadron; and my eyes, even when ordered to be directed to the
left, were stealthily turned in the other direction towards two distant
figures in bathing-gowns, sedulously attempting to drown one another in
fun. Shortly afterwards we dispersed, and returned to Edinburgh. I
attempted a visit of explanation, but Miss Bogle was not at home.
I messed that evening for the first time with the squadron. Judging from
the laughter which arose on all sides, it was a merry party; but my
heart was heavy, and I could hardly bring myself to enter cordially into
the festivities. I was also rather uneasy in person, as will happen to
young cavalry soldiers. I drank, however, a good deal of wine, and, as I
was afterwards informed, recovered amazingly towards the close of the
sederunt. They also told me, next morning, that I had entered Masaniello
to run for the Squadron Cup.