More than a million pounds of concealed sugar have been discovered in
New York. It is suspected that this was intended as the nucleus of a
hoard.
***
A contemporary recently stated that LENIN claims to stand for the
leadership of Russia. But surely they do not stand for leadership in
Russia. They rush for it with revolvers.
***
"This is a time for action, not for talk," said Colonel HOUSE on
his arrival in England. A stinging rejoinder is expected from the
FOOD-CONTROLLER'S Department.
***
It is rumoured that the restaurant keepers have agreed among
themselves that to avoid confusion the price of all beefsteaks shall
be stamped clearly on the sole.
***
The Meat Order will probably be amended to make meat-stalls rank as
shops. At present of course they suffer under the stigma of being
merely places where you can purchase meat.
***
We understand that, in order to avoid confusion and undue alarm,
German prisoners in this country will in future be expected to give
twelve hours' notice of their intention to escape.
***
Sugar is to be omitted from a number of medical preparations from
December 1st, and children are complaining that the decision has quite
spoilt their Christmas prospects.
***
Counsel, in a prosecution for selling a tobacco substitute, has stated
that there is nothing in the Act to prevent a man from smoking what he
likes. In the trade this is generally regarded as a nasty underhand
jab at the British cigar industry.
***
Lord RHONDDA, in announcing his new rationing scheme, differentiates
between brain workers and manual workers. It will be interesting to
see to which category certain Government officials will be assigned.
***
"The bamboo," according to a weekly paper, "holds the record among
plants for rapid growth, having been known to grow two feet in
twelve hours." The silence of allotment holders on this subject is
significant.
***
Mr. SYDNEY G. GAMBLE, second in command of the London Fire Brigade, is
about to retire. There is some talk of arranging a farewell fire.
***
We understand, by the way, that retirement from the London Fire
Brigade always carries with it the privilege of wearing the uniform at
one's own fires.
***
A theatrical paper advertises for a "Male impersonator" for pantomime.
No conscientious objector need apply.
***
A news message to the _Politiken_ states that the people of Iceland
are making demands for their own flag or separation. The movement
seems to be an isolated one and not likely to spread. Anyhow, there is
no cause for alarm at Tooting, where the authorities are not expecting
any trouble of this kind.
***
A Cranford dairyman has been selling milk at threepence per quart. In
trade circles it is supposed that he is doing it for a wager.
***
According to _The Evening News_, Councillor WILLIAM SHEARRING, the new
Mayor of Bermondsey, started life as a van boy. This gave him a pull
over most of us, who started life as infants.
***
After December 17th, parcels for neutral countries may not be sent
without a permit. Cement and other articles intended for enemy
consumption can only be forwarded by special arrangement with the
Ministry of Blockade.
***
The average man, says a correspondent of _The Daily Mail_, does not
know how to invest five pounds in War Loan. Yet all he has to do is to
pay his little fiver across the counter just as if he were buying a
pound of tea.
***
The LORD MAYOR'S Coachman has retired after twenty-eight years'
service. He was a splendid fellow, taking him all round.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Sociable Escort (to Bosch prisoner, after several
ineffectual attempts to start a conversation)_. "AHEM!--ER--NO TROUBLE
AT HOME, I HOPE?"]
* * * * *