The day had come which Rosalind had looked forward to as the decisive
moment. The day on which her life of submission was to be over, her
independent action to begin. But to Rivers it was a day of almost
greater import, the day on which he was to know, so far as she was
concerned, what people call his fate. It was about noon when he set out
from Aix, at a white heat of excitement, to know what was in store for
him. He walked, scarcely conscious what he trod on, along the
commonplace road; everything appeared to him as through a mist. His
whole being was so absorbed in what was about to happen that at last his
mind began to revolt against it. To put this power into the hands of a
girl--a creature without experience or knowledge, though with all the
charms which his heart recognized; to think that she, not much more than
a child in comparison with himself, should thus have his fate in her
hands, and keep his whole soul in suspense, and be able to determine
even the tenor of his life. It was monstrous, it was ridiculous, yet
true. If he left Bonport accepted, his whole career would be altered; if
not-- There was a nervous tremor in him, a quiver of disquietude, which
he was not able conquer. To talk of women as wanting votes or freedom,
when they had in their hands such unreasonable, such ridiculous, and
monstrous power as this! His mind revolted though his heart obeyed. She
would not, it was possible, be herself aware of the full importance of
the decision she was about to make; and yet upon that decision his whole
existence would turn. A great deal has been said about the subduing
power of love, yet it was maddening to think that thus, in spite of
reason and every dictate of good sense, the life of a man of high
intelligence and mature mind should be at the disposal of a girl. Even
while he submitted to that fate he felt in his soul the revolt against
it. To young Roland it was natural and beautiful that it should be so,
but to Rivers it was not beautiful at all; it was an inconceivable
weakness in human nature--a thing scarcely credible when you came to
think of it. And yet, unreasonable as it was, he could not free himself
or assert his own independence. He was almost glad of this indignant
sentiment as he hurried along to know his fate. When he reached the
terrace which surrounded the house, looking back before he entered, he
saw young Everard coming in at the gate below with an enormous bouquet
in his hand. What were the flowers for? Did the fool mean to propitiate
her with flowers? or had he--good heavens! was it possible to conceive
that he had acquired a right to bring presents to Rosalind? This idea
seemed to fill his veins with fire. The next moment he had entered into
the calm of the house, which, so far as external appearances went, was
so orderly, so quiet, thrilled by no excitement. He could have borne
noise and confusion better. The stillness seemed to take away his
breath.
And in another minute Rosalind was standing before him. She came so
quickly that she must have been looking for him. There was an alarmed
look in her eyes, and she, too, seemed breathless, as if her heart were
beating more quickly than usual. Her lips were apart, as if already in
her mind she had begun to speak, not waiting for any question from him.
All this meant, must mean, a participation in his excitement. What was
she going to say to him? It was in the drawing-room, the common
sitting-room, with its windows open to the terrace, whence any one
wandering about looking at the view, as every fool did, might step in at
any moment and interrupt the conference. All this he was conscious of
instantaneously, finding material in it both for the wild hope and the
fierce despite which had been raging in him all the morning--to think
not only that his fate was in this girl’s hands, but that any vulgar
interruption, any impertinent caller, might interfere! And yet what did
that matter if all was to go well?
“Mr. Rivers,” Rosalind said at once, with an eagerness which was full of
agitation, “I have asked you to come--to tell you I am afraid you will
be angry. I almost think you have reason to be angry. I want to tell
you; it has not been my fault.”
He felt himself drop down from vague, sunlit heights of expectation,
down, down, to the end of all things, to cold and outer darkness, and
looked at her blankly in the sternness and paleness of a disappointment
all the greater that he had said to himself he was prepared for the
worst. He had hoped to cheat fate by arming himself with that
conviction; but it did not stand him in much stead. It was all he could
do to speak steadily, to keep down the impulse of rising rage. “This
beginning,” he said, “Miss Trevanion, does not seem very favorable.”
“Oh, Mr. Rivers! If I give you pain I hope you will forgive me. Perhaps
I have been thoughtless-- I have so much to think of, so much that has
made me unhappy--and now it has all come to a crisis.”
Rivers felt that the smile with which he tried to receive this, and
reply to her deprecating, anxious looks, was more like a scowl than a
smile. “If this is so,” he said, “I could not hope that my small affair
should dwell in your mind.”
“Oh, do not say so. If I have been thoughtless it is not--it is not,”
cried Rosalind, contradicting herself in her haste, “for want of
thought. And when I tell you I have made up my mind, that is scarcely
what I mean. It is rather that one thing has taken possession of me,
that I cannot help myself. If you will let me tell you--”
“Tell me that you have resolved to make another man happy and not me?
That is very gracious, condescending,” he cried, scarcely able to keep
control of himself; “but perhaps, Miss Trevanion--”
“It is not that,” she cried, “it is not that. It is something which it
will take a long time to tell.” She came nearer to him as she spoke, and
putting out her hand touched his arm timidly. The agitation in his face
filled her with grief and self-reproach. “Oh,” she said, “forgive me if
I have given you pain! When you spoke to me at the Elms, you would not
let me answer you; and when you came here my mind was full--oh, full--so
that I could not think of anything else.”
He broke into a harsh laugh. “You do me too much honor, Miss Trevanion;
perhaps I am not worthy of it. A story of love when it is not one’s own
is-- Bah! what a savage I am! and you so kindly condescending, so sorry
to give me pain! Perhaps,” he cried, more and more losing the control of
himself, “you may think it pleasant to drag a man like me at your
chariot-wheels for a year; but I scarcely see the jest. You think,
perhaps, that for a man to stake his life on the chance of a girl’s
favor is nothing--that to put all one’s own plans aside, to postpone
everything, to suspend one’s being--for the payment of--a smile--” He
paused for breath. He was almost beside himself with the sense of
wrong--the burning and bitterness that was in his mind. He had a right
to speak; a man could not thus be trifled with and the woman escape
scot-free.
Rosalind stood, looking at him, turning from red to pale, alarmed,
bewildered, overcome. How was she, a girl hemmed in by all the
precautions of gentle life, to know what was in the heart of a man in
the bitterness of his disappointment and humiliation? Sorry to have
given him pain! that was all she had thought of. But it had never
occurred to her that the pain might turn to rage and bitterness, and
that instead of the pathos of a rejected lover, she might find herself
face to face with the fury of a man who felt himself outraged, and to
whom it had been a matter of resentment even that she, a slight girl,
should have the disposal of his fate. She turned away to leave him
without a word. But feeling something in her that must be spoken, paused
a moment, holding her head high.
“I think you have forgotten yourself,” she said, “but that is for you to
judge. You have mistaken me, however, altogether, all through. What I
meant to explain to you was something different--oh, very different. But
there is no longer any room for that. And I think we have said enough to
each other, Mr. Rivers.” He followed her as she turned towards the door.
He could not let her go, neither for love nor for hate. And by this time
he began to see that he had gone too far; he followed her, entreating
her to pause a moment, in a changed and trembling voice. But just then
there occurred an incident which brought all his fury back. Young
Everard, whom he had seen on the way, and whose proceedings were so
often awkward, without perception, instead of entering in the ordinary
way, had somehow strayed on to the terrace with his bouquet, perhaps
because no one had answered his summons at the door, perhaps from a
foolish hope that he might be allowed to enter by the window, as Mrs.
Lennox, in her favor for him, had sometimes permitted him to do. He now
came in sight, hesitating, in front of the open window. Rosalind was too
much excited to think of ordinary rules. She was so annoyed and startled
by his appearance that she made a sudden imperative movement of her
hand, waving him away. It was made in utter intolerance of his
intrusion, but it seemed to Rivers like the private signal of a mutual
understanding too close for words, as the young fellow’s indiscretion
appeared to him the evidence of privileges only to be accorded to a
successful lover. He stopped short with the prayer for pardon on his
lips, and bursting once more into a fierce laugh of fury, cried, “Ah,
here we have the explanation at last!”
Rosalind made no reply. She gave him a look of supreme indignation and
scorn, and left him without a word--left him in possession of the
field--with the other, the accepted one, the favored lover--good
heavens!--standing, hesitating, in his awkward way, a shadow against the
light. Rivers had come to a point at which the power of speech fails. It
was all he could do to keep himself from seizing the bouquet and
flinging it into the lake, and the bearer after it. But what was the
use? If she, indeed, loved this fellow, there could be nothing further
said. He turned round with furious impatience, and flung open the door
into the ante-room--to find himself, breathing fire and flame as he was,
and bearing every sign of his agitation in his face, in the midst of the
family party streaming in from different quarters, for luncheon, all in
their ordinary guise. For luncheon! at such a moment, when the mere
outside appearances of composure seemed impossible to him, and his blood
was boiling in his veins.
“Why, here is Rivers,” said John Trevanion, “at a good moment; we are
just going to lunch, as you see.”
“And I am going away from Aix,” said Rivers, with a sharpness which he
felt to be like a gun of distress.
“Going away! that is sudden; but so much the more reason to sit down
with us once more. Come, we can’t let you go.”
“Oh no, impossible to let you go, Mr. Rivers, without saying good-bye,”
said the mellow voice of Mrs. Lennox. “What a good thing we all arrived
in time. The children and Rosalind would have been so disappointed to
miss you. And though we are away from home, and cannot keep it as we
ought, this is a little kind of feast, you know, for it is Rosalind’s
birthday; so you must stay and drink her health. Oh, and here is Mr.
Everard too. Tell him to put two more places directly, Sophy. And how
did you know it was Rosalind’s birthday, Mr. Everard? What a magnificent
bouquet! Come in, come in; we cannot let you go. You must drink
Rosalind’s health on such an important day.”
Rivers obeyed, as in a dream; he was exhausted with his outbreak,
remorseful, beginning to wonder whether, after all, _that_ was the
explanation? Rosalind came in alone after the rest. She was very pale,
as if she had suffered too, and very grave; not a smile on her face in
response to all the smiles around. For, notwithstanding the excitement
and distress in the house, the family party, on the surface, was
cheerful enough, smiling youthfulness and that regard for appearances
which is second nature carrying it through. The dishes were handed round
as usual, a cheerful din of talk arose; Rex had an appetite beyond all
satisfaction, and even John Trevanion--ill-timed as it all seemed--bore
a smiling face. As for Mrs. Lennox, her voice ran on with scarcely a
pause, skimming over those depths with which she was totally
unacquainted. “And are you really going away, Mr. Rivers?” she said.
“Dear me, I am very sorry. How we shall miss you. Don’t you think we
shall miss Mr. Rivers dreadfully, Rosalind? But to be sure you must want
to see your own people, and you must have a great deal of business to
attend to after being so long away. We are going home ourselves very
soon. Eh! What is that? Who is it? What are you saying, John? Oh, some
message for Rosalind, I suppose.”
There was a commotion at the farther end of the room, the servants
attempting to restrain some one who forced her way in, in spite of them,
calling loudly upon John Trevanion. It was Russell, flushed and wild--in
her out-door clothes, her bonnet half falling off her head, held by the
strings only, her cloak dropping from her shoulders. She pushed her way
forward to John Trevanion at the foot of the table. “Mr. John,” she
cried, panting, “I’ve got on the track of her! I told you it was no
ghost. I’ve got on the tracks of her; and there’s some here could tell
you more than me.”
“What is she talking about? Oh, I think the woman must have gone mad,
John? She thinks since we brought her here that she may say anything.
Send her away, send her away.”
“I’ll not be sent away,” cried Russell. “I’ve come to do my duty to the
children, and I’ll do it. Mr. John, I tell you I am on her tracks, and
there’s two gentlemen here that can tell you all about her. Two, the
young one and another. Didn’t I tell you?” The woman was intoxicated
with her triumph. “That one with the gray hair, that’s a little more
natural, like her own age--and this one,” cried the excited woman,
sharply, striking Everard on the shoulder, “that ran off with her. And
everything I ever said is proved true.”
Rivers rose to his feet instinctively as he was pointed out, and stood,
asking with wonder, “What is it? What does she mean? What have I done?”
Everard, who had turned round sharply when he was touched, kept his
seat, throwing a quick, suspicious glance round him. John Trevanion had
risen too, and so did Rex, who seized his former nurse by the arm and
tried to drag her away. The boy was furious. “Be off with you, you ---- or
I’ll drag you out,” he cried, crimson with passion.
At this moment, when the whole party was in commotion, the wheels of a
carriage sounded in the midst of the tumult outside, and a loud knocking
was heard at the door.