THE ROYAL HEREDITARY TWINS
"Madam," said the King, "who are you, if I may ask, and why do these
young persons hide behind you? Let us have no delays and no excuses. If
we are to get on in the least pleasantly, I beg you of all things to
remember that I am King. And I need hardly state that the King of
Gee-Whiz is something of a Monarch, if I may so express it."
"If it please your Majesty," said the Widow Pickle, "I am a Widow, and
come from foreign parts."
"That," rejoined the King, "is a claim of no special distinction, for
there are very many widows who come from foreign parts. Pray, whatever
you do, don't bore me, for I am very easily bored, and when I am bored I
am very bored indeed, as you will readily perceive a true King must be."
"That I can easily understand," said the Widow, "but I hope that my
Twins will not bore you. Come, my children, and make your bow to the
King."
In truth, it must be said that the Widow Pickle was more frightened at
the King than she thought she was going to be.
"Yes," said the King, "let us see what your children look like."
At this, very much frightened, Zuzu and Lulu came out from behind their
mother and bowed very low before the King, and they had the presence of
mind to make the sound "Ah-h-h!" between their teeth as the Private
Secretary and others had done. The King was pleased at this. But, at the
next moment, he sprang back with an exclamation of surprise.
"What!" said he, "what is that I see? Is it possible that we have here
two young persons with the Royal Hereditary Hair in true malazite blue
and royal corazine green? Why, bless my soul and body, not since the
reign of Gee-Whiz the Twelfth has a true double instance of this kind of
hair been found in all our kingdom!"
"Do you like their hair, your Majesty?" asked the Widow Pickle.
"What a question!" exclaimed the King. "How can I help liking it? Did
not the Royal Queen Mother of our family three thousand years ago have
blue hair; and her husband, the reigning monarch, green? My dear madam,
I look upon this as the most fortunate thing that has occurred during my
entire reign. If I am not very much mistaken, we shall hear of strange
and wonderful things before long."
"I am glad you like their hair," said the Widow Pickle proudly,
"although I must say that in our country neither was considered a
fashionable color."
"Yours must be a very strange country," said the King of Gee-Whiz, "and
you must have associated with extraordinarily ignorant persons, not to
know that blue and green are the finest colors in the world for hair.
Really, never in my life have I seen such a delicate shade as this. I am
so delighted that I shall at once, in accordance with the law of the
Island, have this Prince and Princess measured for a brand-new throne
each. Moreover, they shall each have one of the Fairy Wishing Wands,
which are a part of the royal property. Whatever they wish they shall
have three times a week--but of course no more, for that would not be
lawful."
"Certainly not," said the Widow Pickle, although she did not in the
least understand what all this was about.
"As to yourself, madam," resumed the Monarch, "although you claim to be
the mother of these children, I do not observe that your own hair shows
any token of the royal colors. In short, it is somewhat the color of my
own. I regret to state that my hair, although once of a royal tint, was
bleached by a sudden exposure to the sun by a careless nurse when I was
young." He smiled sadly, but soon recovered. "This, however, shall not
happen to this young Prince and Princess," he said, "for they shall have
royal umbrellas and attendants to carry them when they walk abroad.
"Let me think," went on the King. "I forget what I was about to say. Was
I going to banish you, my dear madam, or have you beheaded? Jiji, get up
and tell me what I was going to say."
At this, the Private Secretary, who had been prostrate with his face
upon the ground all this time, arose very quickly.
"Your Majesty," said he, "let me suggest that you neither banish nor
behead this good lady. Her husband was a very remarkable man, a dealer
in Chemical Substances. It was in this way, as I am assured, that he
discovered the means of making a very wonderful dish known as the
Waffle, which is considered to be a sovereign cure for what are called
the high crimes and misdemeanors of the Royal Stomach."
[Illustration: They knew that their journey was over _Page 43_]
"It was not my husband," began the Widow Pickle indignantly; but the
Private Secretary, bowing low, stepped in front of her, wriggling his
hands behind him very hard.
"Her husband, your Majesty," said he quickly, "was a wonderful man. I
have myself seen one of these Waffles, and they are extraordinarily fine
to look upon, although I have never eaten one. That is reserved for
royalty alone."
"I have eaten them often," exclaimed Zuzu.
"That," said the King, "is not remarkable, my dear, because you
evidently are of royal blood. But, madam, tell me where can I get one of
these Waffles to eat?"
"That," said the Widow Pickle, "is very easy, if you will but get me a
Waffle-iron and permit me to build a fire here in front of the palace."
The King turned to the Private Secretary. "Jiji," said he, "get her a
Waffle-iron at once. If there is no such thing, have it made by the
royal smiths. Pray, madam, what is a Waffle-iron made of?"
"Of iron, your Majesty."
"That is too bad," said the King. "We have no such precious metal as
that. I suppose we shall have to make it out of gold. Do you mind if we
make it of gold?"
"I never saw one of gold, your Majesty," replied the Widow Pickle, "but
perhaps I could make out with it." In her heart she was thinking that if
she ever told her friends she had baked Waffles on a gold Waffle-iron,
they certainly would not believe her; but we can easily see how much
mistaken her friends would have been in that case.
"Very well," said the King. "Get the lady a gold Waffle-iron and help
her all you can with her work. If she is half as good a cook as you
think, she also may have some sort of throne; although I much regret
that her hair is far from the desirable color for those of the royal
household."
"I ought to have a little flour," said the Widow, "and a little milk."
"Milk?" said the King. "How unfortunate! The royal cows are all lost in
the woods, every one of them, and not even the Court Detective, whom I
employ for that purpose, can find them."
"Don't you know how to find them?" cried Zuzu eagerly.
"No, to be sure I don't. I'm too busy to learn such things."
"You ask a Daddy-long-legs," said Zuzu.
"I beg pardon?" said the King. But just then, as Zuzu and Lulu happened
to grasp the Enchanted Banjo, the latter began to tell the King how to
find the cows--a thing which any child could have told him.
DADDY-LONG-LEGS
Ho, Mister Daddy-long-legs, it is queer
How much you know.
A very savage being you appear--
You are not, though.
With gentle grace and kindly bows
You tell us where to find the cows.
Ho, Daddy-long-legs, tell me, tell me now
Which direction I must go if I find my cow.
'Way over yonder--'way over there--
That's the way he points us with his long leg in the air.
Ho, Mister Daddy-long-legs, when you sprawl
Upon the fence,
One wouldn't think the cows would moo at all
When you commence
To show us where their feet have made
A winding pathway to the shade.
Ho, Daddy-long-legs, tell me, tell me now
Which direction I must go if I find my cow.
'Way through the meadow--'way down the brook--
See his long leg pointing out the place where we must look!
"Well!" said the King, "that is a most extraordinary thing, most
extraordinary indeed, and I shall certainly have to call the matter to
the attention of my Court Detective. But, madam, as we have no cows at
present, how would a little cocoanut milk do? We can get you any amount
of that."
"I have never tried it," said the Widow, "but I am sure it will be very
much better than no milk at all."
"Very well, then," said the King, "I'll have Jiji get you all you want."
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