If some modern BURTON would supply the world with an Anatomy of
Patriotism, _mon ami_, I am inclined to believe that his first
discovery in the process of dissection would be, that the modern
quality of that name is essentially lacking in the anatomical composite
of back-bone. Ordinary patriotism in practice, as far as I have been
able to observe it, is equivalent, in general aspect and result, to an
irresistible force in contact with an immovable body, those who are
chiefly carried away with it metaphorically being the last to yield to
its impulsion personally. In short, the quality appears to be a
sentiment rather than a motive in its character, and moves us to
inspire others rather oftener than it inspires us to move ourselves.
Mr. VICTOR E. ORDETH was a patriot in the conventional sense of the
term, and when the Southern heart was first fired he took a very large
ember to his own bosom. None could be more ready to repudiate all their
Northern debts than was Mr. ORDETH to repudiate his, and his deadly
hatred of the Abolitionist was only equaled by that of a New England
man owning a colored drayman, and living next door to him. "We will
raise a million of soldiers if need be," said the chivalrous Virginian
at a public meeting in Richmond, "and sacrifice our last crust." After
which he went comfortably home and growled very much at the dampness of
his slippers and the barely perceptible chill in his buttered toast.
Great admiration was evoked on all sides by this spirited conduct, and
when he finally donated one hundred dollars of his creditors' money to
the Volunteer fund, there was some talk of making him a brigadier; but
it happened to leak out that he knew something of military business
from early study, and, of course, that project had to be given up. A
brigadier with military capability would be an anomaly indeed!
And so, this self-sacrificed gentleman meekly wore his honors in
private life, his patriotism deepening and intensifying until it
attained the pitch of verbal perfection demonstrated in the first
chapter of this veracious narrative. Suddenly, however, this patriotism
suffered what its possessor's pocket did not--a "sea change": the
Confiscation Act passed by the Congress of the United States induced
Mr. ORDETH to consider seriously what might possibly happen to a
certain little property of his near Danville, in the event of certain
Union achievements; and the news of MCCLELLAN'S advance to within five
miles of Richmond, did not tend to increase the patriotic fervor of
this chivalrous Virginian.
It was on the second morning after the summary incarceration of Mr. BOB
PETERS, that Mr. ORDETH peremptorily called for his newspaper, and,
having elevated his feet upon the window sill, proceeded to read the
more humorous articles of the journal in question, which were chiefly
devoted to the discussion of divers excellent plans for invading the
North in one column, and burning Richmond in the next. The only other
person in the apartment at the time was Mrs. ORDETH, who turned very
pale when her lord took up his paper, and watched him as he read, with
considerable agitation. She was evidently expecting an explosion, and
it came.
Having perused with mitigated satisfaction a leader on the sublime
nobility of soul evidenced by the people who destroyed their city at
the approach of the enemy, Mr. ORDETH turned to the Local Department of
the reduced sheet before him, and was electrified at the discovery
therein of a full and accurate account of the arrest of "one ROBERT
PETERS, supposed to be a Yankee spy, who is said to have found refuge
for some time past in the house of a well-known citizen, and who was
seized at the instigation of a devoted Daughter of the South, who, by a
pardonable device, lured him from his hiding place for that purpose.
But for the disordered state of things just now, the citizen said to
have harbored this fellow would be called to account for his equivocal
concern in the matter."
The paper dropped from the hands of Mr. ORDETH, and he stared at his
wife in utter bewilderment.
"Don't be angry with us, VICTOR!" exclaimed that lady, tremblingly; for
she had seen the paper and anticipated what was coming. "LIBBY hid poor
BOB away because she didn't want to see one of our own relations taken
and hung, and when she told me of it I didn't dare to tell you."
"And do you mean to tell me that it was in _my_ house he was secreted?"
asked the Virginian, tragically.
"Yes, my dear, up-stairs, you know."
This unexampled revelation might have produced a scene, had not the
door been opened at the moment by JOCKO, who unceremoniously entered
with a folded paper in his hand.
"Dis wus brung for you, Mars'r, by de angel ob de--I mean by de gemman
wid gold on he shoulder."
The master hastily snatched the paper from the dutiful black, waved him
magisterially from the presence, and found himself ordered to report on
the following morning for military duty at the headquarters of the
military commandant, Richmond. A new draft was ordered!
Passing the paper to his wife, without a word of comment, Mr. ORDETH
commenced to pace the room with long and rapid strides. Finally, he
stopped short before his lady's chair:--
"I am beginning to think," said he, coolly, "that the Union is best for
the South, after all."
"Yes, my dear."
"And we must be off for Danville this very afternoon."
"Oh!"
A pause, and then--
"I was hasty about BOB. My friend, GENERAL EVANS, has just come in from
Leesburg. I must explain this matter to him and get BOB discharged; for
BOB may be of great service to us, my dear, when the Yankees take
possession."
Mrs. ORDETH understood her husband well enough to appreciate this
remarkable change in his sentiments, and refrained from exhibiting any
astonishment at this speech. She only answered:
"You know best, VICTOR."
The head of the house received this judicious reply in full payment of
all demands on his wife's attention, and immediately went forth to put
his designs into execution--as fine a specimen of the Southern Union
man as ever welcomed the advent of the loyal army with enthusiasm, and
immediately presented a bill for damages sustained in the cause of
Freedom!