+Politics Discussed.+
"I'd like to know a little something about the politics of the city and
state," I remarked, as the little old woman came to a halt.
"Well, there is lots to tell you about that," she replied. "Take it, for
instance, we are going to have an election for governor next year, in
A. D. 2000, and there are but two tickets in the field, one is the
Progressives and the other the Socialists.
"A man named Dan Kellaher is candidate on the Progressive ticket and I
think he is connected with the famous Dan Kellaher of the early 1900's,
but," and here the old lady smiled, "we don't think that he will be
elected and one reason is because he fails to be able to demonstrate or
tell his constituents how it is possible for a man to ride 67 miles for
5 cents by the transfer system over a metropolitan street car line.
"Ralph Clyde, grandson of the boy who did not get appointed candy
inspector, because his father was not elected City Commissioner in 1913,
is running for Governor on the Socialist ticket and everybody in the
state is aware that he is in the race, judging from the stacks of
printing turned out at his grandfather's office bearing his slogan.
"I notice that the name of Nat Bird appears as a candidate for sheriff,
but that very same thing has been going on for 125 years and I could not
tell if he is the fourth or fifth of that generation, aspiring for the
same office.
"It is not considered good form for anyone to propose himself for office
any more and it is rather the idea of the office seeking the man more
than it is the man running after the office.
"Billiard and pool tables continue to be a favorite pastime with the
young man around town, but ivory balls are no longer available on
account of the scarcity of elephants which makes the use of ivory as
billiard balls prohibitive. A very good substitute, however, has been
found to take the place of the ivory ball.
"I notice that the Oregonian came out a few days ago and asked the
question as to who were the three greatest presidents and who do you
think the preponderance of opinion fell to? I'll tell you. Washington,
of course, was the first, always first in war, etc. Then Lincoln was
second and Grover Cleveland was third. I tell you this will greatly
interest your people.
"I forgot to tell you that we had a heavenly visitor recently. No, it
was not the reincarnation of any of the Apostles, but just another visit
from Halley's comet. It occurred about 1985 and was a very brilliant
affair. Some of the oldest inhabitants remembered hearing their
grandparents telling of the appearance of a comet along about 1910 and
files of the Oregonian of that year were produced showing photographs of
Halley's comet as it appeared in that year and a prophecy that it would
come again in 75 years. There being well-founded proofs of its previous
harmless appearance, the comet did not disturb the people and its visit
was enjoyed and all were sorry that they would in all probability never
see it again as its next scheduled time is A. D. 2060."