_Room at Mrs. Chargely's. Large Gothic window, opening upon lawn._
_MRS. CHARGELY discovered sitting, and BRIDGET busied about._
MRS. C. Bridget!
BRIDG. Yes, ma'am.
MRS. C. Miss Harriet Cotton, according to the letter I read to you,
must soon be here. Heigho! a persecuted being, like I was at
seventeen.
BRIDG. La, ma'am!
MRS. C. Yes, her love is disapproved of, and she is sent here to be
far from the object of her affections. Heigho! just my case.
BRIDG. Why, ma'am, I thought the object of your affections ran away
from you.
MRS. C. Ahem! It might be so; but, however, Bridget, it came to just
the same thing in the end. My fate teaches _me_ mercy. I am determined
to shew every kindness to this Harriet, though my letter tells me that
Mr. Cutaway is dauntless in pursuing her;--just my case.
BRIDG. On the contrary, ma'am, your admirer seems to have been
dauntless in pursuing the opposite direction.
MRS. C. Well, I will just go and adjust my head-dress. You will shew
the young lady every attention if she should arrive meanwhile. Heigho!
I dare say her delicate heart is in a fine state of palpitation. Just
my case.
(_Exit, R._)
BRIDG. I wish she would come; I should so like to see a _young_ lady
involved in a new adventure, instead of hearing an _old_ lady recount
a _stale_ one. (_A violent ring heard at bell._) Bless me! that is
exceedingly like a coachman's ring.
_Enter, through Gothic window, MIZZLE, in cloak and bonnet, BOLT, and
COACHMAN._
COACH. Yes! yes! we shall settle it right enough, I'll warrant.
MIZ. (_Whispers to BOLT._) Here's a new row! I didn't want to come
here.
BOLT. (_Whispers._) Zounds! there's no avoiding it. Coachee swears he
wont stir without the blunt. You, it seems, are booked here for some
confounded person. We can't pay;--he says, "Walk in, and they'll pay
for you!" So here we are.
COACH. Five shillings the lady, and three and sixpence the
gentleman;--they are rather short; will you pay, my good girl?
BRIDG. Oh! certainly; eight and sixpence; here, Coachman. (_Gives him
money, and exit COACHMAN, C._)--A gentleman, too! It is a new fashion
for ladies to bring their gentlemen with them.
(_Exit, L.H._)
BOLT. Well, what do you think of this?
MIZ. Nothing at all; it's of a piece with the rest. They'll take us to
the station-house soon. We're in limbo here; admire the garden wall
from the window. My eye! what a barricado!
BOLT. Oh! we can't get out, so we must consider our present situation.
You evidently were book'd,--I was only a chance customer; they set
_you_ down here as a matter of course--_I_ might have gone on. Devilish
odd, by-the-by, you crawling into the very coach upon which I jump'd.
_Enter MRS. CHARGELY, R.H._
MRS. C. Oh! my dear, excuse me for keeping you waiting; but I know
young ladies love moonlight.
MIZ. Yes, ma'am, like second-pair lodgers, just before quarter-day.
MRS. C. (_Aside._) Elegant remark!--But this gentleman?
BOLT. Ah, true! (_crosses to C._) I dare say you did not expect me.
How d'ye do?--The fact is--I am this young gent--ahem!--lady's
brother--Yes!
MRS. C. Oh! did you leave all quite well at home?
MIZ. Quite! my mother is particularly well.
MRS. C. Why, my dear, your father has been a widower these--
BOLT. Bless you! he has married again since. One calls one's
mother-in-law "mother" you know.
MIZ. They both send their compliments, Mrs.----ahem!
MRS. C. Indeed! my dear young lady--your name, I believe, is--
BOLT. Precisely!
MRS. C. Harriet?
MIZ. You have hit it to a nicety. Don't you think, ma'am, we might
take a turn about the country?
BOLT. Yes! there is a most picturesque ruin of a pump--
MRS. C. To-morrow!--to-morrow!
_Enter BRIDGET, L._
MRS. C. Oh! Bridget, you must provide accommodations for the young
lady's brother!
BRIDG. (_Whispers._) Madam, you have forgotten a something--the letter
called Miss Harriet an only child.
MRS. C. (_Aside._) Indeed! an impostor! Oh, I see through all!--the
daring Mr. Cutaway has introduced himself.--So, sir, you are the young
lady's brother?
BOLT. Exactly!
MIZ. Did not we tell you so?--(_Aside._) What makes her so d--d
particular?
MRS. C. Now, sir, you know you are nothing of the kind! (_Crosses to
C._) Miss Harriet has no brother.
BOLT. Hey, ma'am?
MIZ. No brother!--(_Aside._) Here's a go!--You'll allow me to know my
own relations?--Oh--h--h!
MRS. C. Indeed! No! I have discovered all.
BOLT. The devil you have? Then we are bowled out. Madam, we throw
ourselves upon your mercy!
MIZ. Yes! don't say anything to old Cotton.
MRS. C. (_Aside._) Old Cotton! what a respectful name to call her
father!--I will not; I am inclined to be friendly. I have some
influence over him;--I'll prevail on him to pardon all.
BOLT. Will you though? Then give us your hand. (_Takes her hand._)
MIZ. (_Takes other hand._) Yes! you are a regular good 'un!
MRS. C. (_Aside._) A good one! Her language is not particularly
romantic.--Nay, more than that, I think I can persuade him to consent
to your union.
MIZ. The lady means a partnership.
MRS. C. A partnership?--to be sure--for life--marriage!
BOLT. I'll be blowed if we understand one another, now!
MRS. C. Yes! we do.--Fie, Miss Cotton; do you think I do not recognise
your clandestine lover, Mr. Cutaway?
MIZ. (_Aside._) Cotton! I old master's daughter?
BOLT. (_Aside._) Zounds! she knows nothing, after all.--Yes, ma'am,
you've hit it. My name is Cutaway.
MRS. C. Ha! ha! you confess. You see I was too sharp for you; I found
out you were Mr. Cutaway.
BOLT. To be sure you did! you are so sharp, ma'am. He! he! you found
out Mr. Cutaway--He! he! ha!
_Enter BRIDGET, L._
BRIDG. Please, ma'am, Mr. Cotton's foreman, Mr. Bolt, is here.
BOLT. He is not! No! no! my name is Cut--Cutaway!
MIZ. Mr. Bolt is not here! no, nor Mizzle either; this gentleman's
name is Cutaway--my name is Miss Harriet.
BRIDG. But Mr. Bolt is at the street door.
BOLT. (_Aside._) Now who the devil can this be?
MIZ. (_Whispers._) I say, Bolt, there a'n't two of you.
MRS. C. Desire Mr. Bolt to walk in.--Don't be frightened, my young
friends, though I guess the cause of your alarm.
MIZ. (_Aside._) I'm bless'd if you do.
_Enter CUTAWAY, L._
CUT. (_Aside._) All right so far!--the young lady here, and the old boy
not here.
MRS. C. Come forward, Mr. Bolt; come forward. Nobody here, except Mr.
Cutaway.
CUT. Mr. Cutaway here, Madam!
MRS. C. You start; I guess the cause of surprise;--yes, and Miss
Harriet.
(_MIZZLE hides his face by letting veil fall._)
CUT. (_Aside._) Hem, she has got a new cloak by the way.
MRS. C. But I have not introduced you. (_Crosses L. C._) Mr. Bolt, Mr.
Cutaway; Mr. Cutaway, Mr. Bolt. (_They both bow._)
CUT. (_Aside._) How queer it is to be introduced to one's self!--I'm
beside myself.
MIZ. (_Whispers._) I say, Bolt, how do you like yourself?
BOLT. Not at all! Curse me if there isn't another incident.
MIZ. A second _me_ will walk in next.
MRS. C. How embarrassed they seem--and I see through all: Miss Harriet
seems afraid of Mr. Bolt seeing her. How well I understand her
feelings.
_Enter BRIDGET, L._
BRIDG. Mr. Cotton, ma'am.
BOLT, MIZZLE, _and_ CUTAWAY. (_Together._) Who?
BRIDG. Mr. Cotton.
(_BOLT and CUTAWAY instantly run off through Gothic window, MIZZLE,
R. H._)
MRS. C. Gentlemen! young lady! what a dispersion! Why, at any rate,
Mr. Bolt should vanish--
_Enter COTTON, HARRIET, MISS BROWN, and MRS. STITCHLEY, L. H._
(_Exit BRIDGET, L._)
COT. Ah, Mrs. Chargely, how d'ye do?--I have brought some ladies with
me.
MRS. C. Happy to see any of your friends, Mr. Cotton; but one little
thing I must say to you, (_draws him apart_,) don't be too severe with
your daughter.
COT. No, no, madam; I don't intend it.
MRS. C. I have promised to be her friend.
COT. Promised, madam; may I ask to whom?
MRS. C. To herself, to be sure.
COT. What! have you seen her before?--Harriet, my dear!
HAR. Yes, papa.
MRS. C. This is not your daughter Harriet?
COT. Yes, but it is though; don't you see the strong likeness?
HAR. Yes, madam; I am Harriet Cotton.
MRS. C. I am petrified! thunderstruck! why, another daughter Harriet
came here just now, and is here still.--Bridget!
_Enter BRIDGET, R. with veil._
BRIDG. Please, ma'am, Miss Harriet has bolted herself in one of the
bed-rooms, and wont open the door. Her veil caught against the
banister, ma'am; here it is.
COT. Some impudent impostor, Mrs. Chargely.
MRS. C. And, I'll confess the truth--(_Aside._) How are my benevolent
designs frustrated--Mr. Cutaway was with her.
COT. Daring scoundrel!
HAR. The faithless wretch! brought a sham me.--Oh papa, papa! (_Sobs._)
COT. I told you what he would turn out.
MISS B. Mrs. Bridget, I think I heard you called.--Allow me to look at
the veil; observe, Mrs. Stitchley!
MRS. S. I do, my dear!
MISS B. The ironmould, and everything! Mrs. Chargely, this veil is
mine; there are thieves in the house!--Had the lady a silk cloak?
MRS. C. Yes.
MRS. S. And a bonnet and feather?
MRS. C. Yes.
MISS B. It is all discovered!--You know we were wronged, Mr. Cotton?
COT. (_Aside._) Yes, and I know I had to pay for it.
MISS B. But we will be righted.--Mrs. Chargely, don't let your house be
a nest of thieves--send for the officers.
MRS. C. I will.--Bridget! Bridget! Lock sham Miss Harriet's door
outside--send for the police!--What a horrid unromantic adventure.
(_Exit, R. H._)
MRS. S. You shall be righted.
MISS B. I will, indeed: I'll recover my cloak--the villainy shall be
uncloaked.
(_Exeunt MISS B. and MRS. S., L. H._)
COT. Come along, Harriet; we'll see the end of this. To a nice house I
seem to have brought you! A pleasant day, we have had,--a day
beautifully spent!
(_Exeunt, L. H._)