PERHAPS there was never a betrothal made under more favorable auspices
than Carlotta’s and mine. Perfect love and confidence towards each
other, and the most entire approval of all interested in our welfare!
When we met, father pressed my hand most cordially in token of his
sanction, and mother kissed me, saying, as she did so:
“My dear boy, it is a consummation I have devoutly prayed for. You have
won a prize, indeed, John; cherish it fondly.”
To which my reply was, of course, redundantly affirmative and
sempiternally votive.
As we were preparing to leave for Newport the day following I did not
see Miss Finnock again, and was very glad of it, as our interview could
not have been pleasant; and, in fact, I thought the rest of the party
treated me with sudden coldness and reserve when we met at the table.
The night preceding our departure there was a grand ball at the Union,
and though I had the honor of escorting Carlotta, her card was so full
of engagements that I could only stand off and admire her, as a throng
of her devotees surrounded her.
As blind as love is said to be, it is, nevertheless, very much affected
by what others think of its object; and, besides flattering our own
taste, it very much enhances our devotion to feel that others love what
we love. Leander would never have swum the Hellespont if no one else
had cared for Hero.
With all the fond pride of ownership I watched the crowd that flocked
to Carlotta’s side, when a set closed, begging the honor of a dance,
striving to catch a smile, and wearying her with ceaseless and
multitudinous attention; and, as I marked the disappointment on the
faces of a score, and the conscious triumph of him who led her out, I
thought that if they thus sought the pleasure of a moment with her, how
supremely blest was I to own her love, and hold her promise to be mine
for life.
I was selfish enough to want her all to myself, and brooked but poorly
the immense popularity that engaged her time and kept her from me.
At Newport it was the same thing. Her fame had preceded her, and many
of her Saratoga beaux followed her thither. Her appearance in the
ball room at the Ocean House was the signal for the desertion of other
belles, and our drives on the beach were series of stares, of envy from
the ladies and of admiration from the men. It was amusing to mark the
difference of expression on the faces of the occupants of a buggy or
landau as it rolled past us; the gentleman invariably gazing at her,
with a smile, as we approached, and turning his head to look back as we
passed; the lady looking straight ahead, with a half curl on her lip,
as if she would say, “Umph! she is not so beautiful after all.”
It was not till we left Newport, and were returning to dear old quiet
Carolina, that I began to realize that Carlotta was indeed my own.
Herrara parted with us in New York, taking the steamer for Havana, and
promising to bring his bride to see us the next winter.
After spending some days in the metropolis we started home, and then
I was happy to sit by Carlotta’s side in the train, whose very rattle
made our conversation private, and talk of our future! There is no
period so fraught with pleasure to lovers as that when, the first
extravagance of the proposal and acceptance over, they sober down
into conversation about their plans and prospects; when they talk of
the home they are going to have, and how it will be furnished; when
they tell of how they will live, and what they will have for dinner;
when they make little confidences of their foibles of disposition and
temper, that they may know how never to hurt each other’s feelings;
when they each draw pictures of their everyday life, that is to be,
and dwell like epicures at a feast on the details; she telling of
the nice cosy breakfast, with just two cups and saucers; of the fine
cigars she will light for him, as she kisses him goodbye till dinner;
of the pretty key basket she will carry on her arm, all the “long,
dreary morning,” till he comes back; of the afternoon nap, while she
fingers his hair; of the evening drive, of the slippers ready for him
after tea, of the “hateful newspaper” taken out of his hands that he
may talk with her! Bright little heart! is there no tear, no frown, no
headache in your picture? He telling of his compliments to her rolls
and coffee, of his invariable kiss at parting, of his constant thought
of her during the hours of business, of his haste to return, of his
often pretending to be sick that she may nurse him in her sweet way,
of the many thoughtful gifts he will bring her, of his helping to keep
house and stealing her sugar, of his leaning on the piano while she
sings his favorite songs, of her head upon his shoulder and his arm
around her waist, as they sit together under the moonlight in their
little porch, with all the necessary vines and flowers. When they both
are thinking, yet carefully avoid speaking, of another tender phase of
the picture—when something, not a chair, is rocking in their chamber,
and a rack at the fire is full of white cloths, when the gifts he
brings now are gutta percha and coral, and, instead of the moon the
lamp is kept burning all night.
When we got back to Wilmington I found a letter for me from Ben,
inviting me up to his wedding.
It was a characteristic epistle, and went on to tell me that as he “had
laid by his crap” and was “outer the grass” he had concluded to take
unto himself as an helpmeet, Miss Viny Dodge, though he frankly stated
that his “daddy” said he “hadn’t no more business with a wife than er
oyshter has for gluves.”
As the letter was dated two weeks back I knew that Miss Viny was
already Mrs. Bemby, so I sent my congratulations, and regrets that I
could not have been present, and a bridal gift for Mrs. B.
Our own arrangements were, that I was to return to Chapel Hill,
complete my senior year, and be married to Carlotta immediately after
my graduation; and then we were to go to Germany, that I might complete
my law course at Heidelberg.
When Ned and I met again in our old room at the University, we both had
so much to tell that we devoted several nights to the rehearsal of our
adventures. Ned had spent his vacation at the White Sulphur Springs,
and was, of course, well charged with news of himself. As each of us
was more anxious to talk than to listen, our conversation was a series
of mutual interruptions, and this difficulty of communication, perhaps,
aided us in our studies.
When we finally got to work in earnest we found our position as
Seniors very pleasant in every way. Our studies, though deeper and
more comprehensive, were not so tedious, and allowed us more time for
general reading. Ned was striving hard for the Valedictory, while I
looked forward with some hope to the same honor; our rivalry, however,
was always pleasant. With my studies and readings, and, above all, with
Carlotta’s sweet letters, I found time did not drag so heavily as I had
expected when I parted from her, and almost before I knew the summer
was gone the winter vacation came on. I went home and spent the time in
one bright dream of happiness. I was with Carlotta!
I returned to college again in January, full of ambitious visions.
Five more months and, with a brow burdened with honors, I would stand
upon the rostrum of the University, and while the crowded hall was
breathless with my eloquence, I would meet the light of Carlotta’s
eyes, and in their raptured gaze find my best applause. Then would come
our wedding, arranged with all the splendor wealth could command; then
a term of honor at Heidelberg; and then, with Fame’s temple before me,
I would climb until I stood upon its very dome. But across these bright
visions there drifted now the red cloud of war, and in its murky bosom
muttered our impending ruin.
I found the University, as I had left Wilmington, all ablaze with
excitement over the secession of South Carolina. The number of students
was much smaller than usual, and many of those who came returned
to their homes, as State after State left the Union. Our noble
Commonwealth, with her resinous nature, stuck tenaciously to the Union,
and when she tore herself loose at last, adhered as closely to the flag
of the Confederacy.
Letters poured in upon me from home. Father and mother urged me to
remain at college till the session closed, and get my diploma, as
it would be but a short delay, but I was impatient; I wanted to be
preparing for the fray, and Carlotta’s letter decided me. It was full
of the fire of her soul, and while it breathed the tenderest love for
me, it was fervid with patriotism.
“I know that study will be impossible amid the excitement of the
times,” she said, in conclusion, “and you will accomplish nothing by
remaining at the University till the close of the session. You know,
dear John, that I love you more than all else on earth, but if I did
not love my country, too, I would be unworthy of your love, and if you
were unwilling to defend her, you would be unworthy of mine. But I know
your noble heart, and trust its fervid zeal.
“Remember, dearest, my hand shall gird your armor on, and my prayers
shall shield your head.”