THE first of October found us all again in Wilmington. Father returned
from Havana the latter part of September, having completed all the
necessary arrangements in reference to Carlotta’s property. He found
the agent reliable, and having proved the death and identity of Mr.
Rurleston, he administered on the estate, and qualified as guardian for
Carlotta under the Spanish law.
Ned and I began the winter in hard study, as our last session in a
preparatory school. Frank, however, declared his intention of going to
Chapel Hill, the seat of the University of North Carolina, in January,
and joining the Freshman Class, half advanced, getting the advantage of
a year’s start by the half session.
Sure enough, in January he left for the Hill, and we soon received
letters from him telling of the wonderful charms of college life, and
of the rapid progress he was making in his studies.
The spring passed and Frank came home a Sophomore. Ned and I felt quite
tame before him, though his foppish ways and overbearing air only added
to the dislike I entertained for him.
Lulie, poor thing, was as proud of him as if he had been her son, and
whenever we met was continually quoting what Frank said, and telling
what Frank did. In the kindness of her dear little heart she ever tried
to consider my feelings, and it was the inadvertence of these remarks
in my presence that made them doubly painful.
Between Carlotta and myself there had sprung up a strong, confidential
friendship. She was so beautiful in person and character, so pure, so
trusting, that had it not have been for our daily intimacy, I could
have loved her even to the effacing of Lulie’s image. As it was, she
was only my best friend, and Lulie my hopeless idol.
A trip to Smithville closed our vacation, and we began to get ready
for college. All the arrangements were made, and the day before our
departure came round. Ned, who, of course, was to be my chum, had come
into town with his baggage, and was to stay all night with me, to be
ready for the early morning train. That night, after tea, he ran over
to Dr. Mayland’s to tell Lulie good-bye, and Carlotta and I took our
seat on the stoop. Neither of us spoke for some time, for I felt really
sad now that the time had come for parting.
“You will write to me while I am gone, Carlotta?” I said, at length. “I
will enjoy a letter from you more than from any one else I know.”
“Yes,” she said, smiling. “I will write if you will promise to reply
faithfully, and not to make fun of my letters.”
“That would be impossible, even if I were not too anxious to hear from
home and from you. I will miss your bright face and sunny smiles sadly
while I am away,” I continued, looking up at the stars slowly coming
out, “for no matter where I am, or whom I am with, I never feel so well
satisfied and happy as when I am with you.”
“It is I, indeed, who will miss you,” she said, with the least possible
sigh, “for you have been so kind and attentive, so considerate of all
my wishes, yet so unobtrusive in your attentions, that I can never get
another to fill your place.”
“You will not forget me, then?” I said, drawing a little nearer to her.
“Never!”
She looked so beautiful in the soft twilight, as she gazed at me
earnestly and said this “Never!” that I did more than I intended—I
took her hand and pressed it in mine, though I tried to do it in a
brotherly way. But there was a thrill in her touch, nevertheless. I
could see her face flush, even in the twilight, as she drew her hand
once or twice, as if she would take it away.
“Carlotta,” I said, still holding her hand, “I have told you how I once
loved Lulie——”
“And there she is now,” she said, quickly withdrawing her hand, then
putting it back in mine, as if it was nothing to be ashamed of.
Sure enough, Lulie, Frank and Ned crossed over from Dr. Mayland’s and
approached our stoop.
“John, I have come over to say good-bye, as you would not come to see
me,” said Lulie, seating herself at Carlotta’s feet.
“‘Twas because I thought you would, of course, be engaged for to-night,
not because I did not want to,” I replied, in a tone divided between a
sneer and a smile.
“You know I am always glad to see you, John,” she said, rising again to
her feet; “but we have not long to stay, Frank, and had better go now,
as he is so ungracious, even on the eve of parting.”
“Pardon me, Lulie,” I said, her words recalling me to a sense of
propriety. “Do not let us part in bad humor.”
“Certainly not,” she replied; “but,” changing the subject, “do you not
dread the ordeal of initiation? Frank says, though, he will not let the
fellows, as he calls them, trouble you much.”
“We are obliged to Frank for his kind intentions, but hope to be able
to take care of ourselves,” I replied, my ungracious feelings returning
reinforced.
“I’ve a great notion to let you fellows alone, and let our class have
its own way with you,” said Frank, tapping the railing with a little
gold headed switch he called a cane.
I had it on my tongue to tell him that I wished he would, but I
restrained myself, and only said that I hoped we could stand it.
Lulie gave me her hand most cordially, and bade us both farewell, and
she and Frank walked away—she looking up at him and talking to him as
if her life was his, and he walking on as if only a toy hung upon his
arm.
Father returned from down town, and, requesting my presence in the
library, I left Ned with Carlotta and went in the house. Father was
seated at his _escritoire_ and motioned me to a chair near him. “As you
leave very early in the morning,” he said, through his teeth, holding
between them one end of a tape he was tying around a bundle of papers
he had assorted, “I thought we had best arrange our money matters
to-night.”
He took a roll of bank bills from a drawer, and, counting out a goodly
heap, pushed it towards me, saying, “That will be enough for all your
expenses till late in the session. Whenever you find you need more,
write and I will remit. I do not want you to be extravagant, my son,
neither do I want you to be a niggard; I will, however, trust to your
own good sense to regulate your expenditure.”
I folded the money up, and, putting it in my purse, was about to leave,
when he closed the desk, and, jingling the keys into his pockets, said:
“Sit down a moment, John, I want to say a few words to you in
reference to your conduct while you are away. I am sure your mother
has instructed you thoroughly in your Christian duty, and, therefore,
I do not fear that I shall ever be mortified by a letter confessing
debauch and dissipation. I trust that your early training, with your
own sense of propriety, will deter you from anything so ruinous; but I
have a word or two of advice in regard to your deportment towards your
fellow students and to your instructors. I have been at college myself
and know something of what I say. You will, of course, be teased, or
‘devilled,’ as they term it, unmercifully. Every conceivable effort
will be made to mortify you, and to present you in most ridiculous
attitudes, and every one in the class above you will try his wits at
your expense. You will be made the victim of many a practical joke,
and will suffer frequent inconvenience from the temporary abstraction
of your books or the derangement of your furniture. Bear every thing
with quiet dignity, do not attempt to reply to anything that is said,
and, if possible, keep from showing in the slightest way that you are
teased. If their efforts are without success they will soon desist,
and you will be unmolested. It is a most contemptible and barbarous
practice, this striving to wound and crush the feelings of another,
simply because he is a stranger, as if that fact alone did not entitle
him to more consideration. I hope, John, that when you join this
privileged class of persecutors you will never indulge in anything so
unfeeling.
“To recommend care in the selection of your associates is a piece of
advice as important as it is trite. Associates will be forced upon
you by the location of your room, by your class and your boarding
house. Look well to a student’s moral and social status before you
take him as a companion. Do not feel flattered into any concessions
of your principles by an intimacy with a member of a higher class.
While a Fresh, you would feel quite honored by an invitation to the
room of a Senior, and you would find it very hard to refuse a drink
with him, lest you should appear squeamish in his eyes. But remember
that advancement is only a question of time and study, and possess
independence enough to refuse all solicitations to evil, however
flattering to your vanity they be. Ned, I am glad to learn, will room
with you, and he and your books will be society enough for you, if you
study as _you_ now think, and _I_ hope you will.
“In regard to your deportment towards your tutors I have a word to
say, and then I have done my rather tedious exhortation. Be polite and
dignified in their presence, be attentive in the lecture room, but
not ostentatiously so, making a pretence of continually gazing at the
professor, being the first to answer fly questions, or selecting a seat
very near his desk, as there is nothing more displeasing to him than
the endeavor of a student to make up for lack of merit by sycophantic
fawning. While it is well to establish a personal acquaintance and good
understanding with all those under whose instruction you are placed,
yet do not make a display of intimacy with them, as the reputation
of a ‘boot-lick’ is easily earned, and is exceedingly odious. The
most disagreeable temptation to which you will be exposed is to join
rebellion against college authority. You will be continually solicited
to aid in schemes to break the laws of the institution, to annoy
the professors, and to deface and misplace college property. Every
conceivable plan for the defeat of the very objects of the institution
will be set on foot, and you will be scoffed at and ridiculed if you
refuse to join. Will you have the moral courage to refuse in the face
of a jeering class? I hope so, my son. You will find it easy after the
first time or two, and you will be respected all the more for your
firmness. Write to your mother and myself often, and write freely.
Tell us of your trials and difficulties, and express all your feelings
without hesitation. But, lest my much advice may seem to evince a doubt
of your strength of character, I will cease. Let’s go to Carlotta and
Ned.”
He lowered the gas, and as we walked out of the library laid his arm on
my shoulder in a tender way, that I have never forgotten—for a caress
was a novelty from him.
That night, as Ned and I were about to go up to our rooms, I kissed
mother good night, and said to her:
“Have you no parting advice for me, mother? I believe everybody has had
some kind of valedictory for me.”
She drew me to her and said, smiling, as she parted my hair with one
hand:
“I have nothing special to say, John, even though you are going away
from me for the first time. I have endeavored from your infancy to
instruct you in your duty to your fellow man, as well as to God. It
now only remains with you to perform that duty. The one great thing I
have always striven to impress upon your mind is to act from principle.
Whatever you propose to do, consider carefully whether it be in itself
right—not whether the time or occasion renders it so. I have placed
your Bible in your trunk; read it without fail once every day, and, as
you have always done, seek counsel of Heaven; and if my poor prayers
will avail anything, you will ever be fortified with grace and courage
from on high.”
In my room, as I undressed, I could not help looking around at the
familiar articles of furniture, in order to remember exactly how the
room looked after I was gone. Everything had a farewell for me.
The very bureau seemed to sigh as I took my toilet articles from its
slab; and the chairs, with their worn rounds and knife-notched backs,
seemed to creak an humble good-bye; the rug that I had scorched so
often making squibs; the pitcher, whose lip I had broken by jerking
it against a table, when a cat with a fit, on whose head I was pouring
water, suddenly revived and sprang up under my hand; the book-case,
through whose glass doors peeped the familiar faces of Swiss Family
Robinson, Sandford and Merton, Tom Brown at Rugby, and the portentous
covers of Latin Grammar, Greek Reader, Cæsar, Virgil and Sallust; the
closet, with my gun and sporting furniture, and the bed, with its
flowered coverlid, all looked as if they would be sad after I was gone,
and as I went to sleep I felt prematurely homesick.