SEEING THE "SITUATIONS WANTED" SCENE
"What a lot of things they put in the papers!" Hilaire Belloc observes
somewhere in one of his essays. Indeed, it is so!
I fear, however, that one of the features "they" put in the papers does
not have anything like as popular a reading as it deserves to have.
Those of the governing class, personages who employ people, probably
consult fragments of this department of the newspaper now and then. But,
it may fairly be claimed, nobody reads, with the delicious pleasure and
the abundant profit he might read, that part of the paper fullest of all
of, so to say, meat and gravy.
The story it tells is probably the deepest grounding in life to be found
in print. There as it stands in today's paper Shakespeare (I fancy)
could not have written it, nor Balzac, nor Dickens, nor Arnold Bennett,
nor O. Henry, nor Sinclair Lewis. This newspaper feature is called
"Situations Wanted." It might just as accurately be called "The Human
Scene," or "The Heart of the World," or "The Cry of the Soul." Its tale
is of what all men are seeking (and have ever sought), each in his own
degree, and after his fashion--bread, a place in the sun, a level higher
than that of today.
Let us, briefly, survey this Page of Life.
The most conspicuous figure in the vast and motley throng is the Bold
and Confident Man. He that knows his superior worth and does not propose
to hide his light, he that has the spirit to attack the conqueror. His
method is to fling a large and arresting headline across his "ad." "I AM
THE MAN YOU WANT!" he begins. Or, "PAR-EXCELLENCE," he announces in big
type. Or, "Mr. Busy Manufacturer," he says in good sized "caps"; in
smaller letters asks: "Are you in need of _a competent manager_?" If Mr.
B. M. is in such need, it is squarely put up to him: he "will do well to
address X." To the employer who hesitates this vital opportunity is
lost. The ad says: "Write now--_Right Now!_" Undoubtedly this is the
horse to put your money on; the hero to marry your daughter to. He will
not want.
Our bold, aggressive friend frequently writes, barring a bit of
"bounce," an admirable, clean-cut account of himself. He has, he
declares, acted for some of the leading concerns in the country; he has
never yet failed to give satisfaction; every employer he ever had will
testify to his ability and character. He invites the closest
investigation of his record, and he is open for any engagement where
faithful work, absolute integrity and devotion to his employer's
interests will be productive of "a fair living salary." It is, indeed,
difficult to avoid the impression that this man "has the goods."
Akin to him in his method of a bill-board-like headline is another, of
whom one is not so sure. He does not so much command attention as seek
to beguile it. His particular "lay" is the Ingenious. Here is one
example of his style:
AN ADVERTISING ADVENTURER
offers 16 years' experience
(scarred by a few notable defeats and a thorough knowledge edge of
what NOT to do) to a manufacturer, for whom he will SAVE more than
his wages; a bad man, who does not drink, never was out of work, is
married and proud of it; age 32; would rather work than eat.
Address: Alert.
Then there is the Challenge Not to Be Denied. Here is a sample:
"_Accountant_.--Are you one of the progressive firms? If you are, you
want----" etc. Frequently one comes across the Facetious Advertiser. He
runs some such headline as this: "_Editor for Rent._" Or perhaps he
says: "'_Secretarial Services' For Sale._" In contrast to him is the
advertiser with the Tremulous Appeal. He may begin: "_Who Wants My
Services?_" And go on to say: "I am hard worker and steady, and willing
to go anywhere. Salary about $12 a week." Or perhaps he says:
"_Privilege_ of meeting man who can utilize my services." Or maybe it is
thus: "$15 per Week and an Opportunity." Such a very human ad as this is
likely to continue somewhat like this:
Can you use a young man of twenty-one--one of really serious
purpose? I have had enough business experience and training to know
that to be of help I must do well whatever I am given to do. Of
course I am looking for a future--but I know that it does not
matter so much what I do as how I do it. Therefore, I believe any
reputable business holds a future. I am from Kansas, in New York on
my own resources and so must have $15 per week to start. I have a
high school education, and have read a great deal, and have
attended Business School.
Next is the Poignant ad. The purest example of this which in my studies
I have discovered is headed: "_Who Will Talk With Me?_" A step beyond
this we come upon the Altogether Pitiful. I mean like the one I here
copy out:
WILL you please find or give office employment to an educated, with
physical defect, young man; just a chance to work two weeks without
salary desired?
Akin to the poignant situation-wanted advertisement is the Urgent:
"_Advertising Writer_, college man (Princeton), urgently needs
situation." Or: "_Proofreader_, educated young man, requires position
_immediately_." It is, such is the inference, defective philanthropy in
an employer to delay. A touching figure, too (because he does not
suspect that he is a touching figure), is the Cheery and Hopeful. We
have him here: "_Ambitious_ young American (28) desires position; will
try anything; moderate salary to start."
A wily fellow is the Ingratiating advertiser. Sometimes he is a "Spanish
young man" who offers to work altogether without salary as Spanish
correspondent in some export house "where he could practice English."
Occasionally he is a "copy writer" who, wishing a position with an
agency or mercantile firm, is "willing to demonstrate ability for two
weeks before drawing salary." Now and then a still more positive
character baits the hook with the offer of gratis services. In this
morning's paper a stenographer releases the seductive declaration that
"one trial will demonstrate my value to you."
A rôle played on the stage of the "Situations Wanted" page which I have
always much admired is that of the Highly Dignified. The Bold and
Confident Man, the Ingenious, the Tremulous, the Poignant, the Hopeful,
the Ingratiating--the voices of all these figures touch one with a sense
of the harsh clash of life, its trickiness, its vicissitudes, its pathos
and its tragedy. But "_A Gentleman_ of 50," who, "having a considerable
private income, desires dignified occupation; salary unimportant,"
revives the poetic idea that (at any rate, now and then) God's in His
heaven and all's right with the world. The highly dignified advertiser
certainly is a very enviable character. It must be very nice to be able
to say, as in this advertisement before us: "_Light Occupation of an
Important Nature_ is sought by middle-aged gentleman capable of assuming
control and conducting any normal business enterprise."
A very colorful feature of the "Situations Wanted" page is the
interesting qualifications frequently set forth. Glancing at the paper
in hand I find a young man of twenty-five who seeks a "permanent
position" with a publisher recommending himself as being "affable." Also
here is a "refined gentleman" who desires a "compatible" position and
lists among his accomplishments skill in the art of "tasty drawing." A
"keen discreet American" looking for a job with a "corporation" mentions
his "suave manners." A butler unemployed regards himself as "very nice."
A college graduate of twenty-eight who wants to "begin at the bottom"
asserts that he is a "fluent talker." A "young man with literary
ability" flings out the intimation that he "desires position where it
will be of some use." A dressmaker states that in her calling she is
"perfect." A clerk is "very smart at figures." A nurse puts forward her
asset as a "plain writer." You are pleased to discover that so many
people have a "pleasing personality." And that among stenographers there
are so many who may be described (they say) as an "attractive young
girl." Here is one who introduces herself as both "prepossessing" and
"brainy." A "woman of education" who seeks occupation at "anything
useful if there is friendliness" gives as her leading characteristic a
"sense of humor." Now and then the recommendations offered somewhat
mystify me, as in the advertisement of the lady, "age 29, fine
personality (widow of P. M. of F. and A. M.)." Then there is that great
company who have but one merit to display. They may be represented in
the "Female" column by the "_Respectable_ young woman" who "wishes day's
work." And in the "Male" column by the "_Sober_ man" who (simply)
"desires position." Sometimes here it is difficult to determine the
degree of sobriety maintained, as in the frequent advertisement of the
chauffeur who discreetly states that he is "temperate."
In case you should write down your idea of your own "appearance," what
would you say? I confess that such a problem would puzzle me. It does
not puzzle some. "Situation Wanted" ads record that there are numerous
young men of "exceptional appearance." Though occasionally we come upon
a young man of almost painful conscientiousness who feels that he should
not go further than to say that he is of "fair appearance."
The queer dissimilarity of human aspirations echoes through the
"Situations Wanted" page. Here is a "_Gentleman_, excellent education
and personality, linguist," who wants a position as a companion, or
"courier, &c." A "_Highly_ educated French lady would gladly take a
child for walks every day from 10 to 12." A "_Lady_, 27, of literary
bent desires position as companion around the world." It is remarkable,
the number of persons there are in the world of "literary" tendency.
Remarkable, too, how many people with an inclination to travel. Here is
a "_Cornell Graduate_" who has, apparently, no aversion whatever to
spending the winter in "a warm climate." There are "_Two_ young men,
partners," who "wish to join an expedition, any destination." But there
are home-keeping souls, too. A "_Cultured_ elderly man, neat," craves
"household duties." And so on.
What a rich variety of characters throng the populous scene of the
"Situations Wanted" page! Here, in today's paper, following the
advertisement of a "sculptor" comes that of a "former policeman." A
"_Physician_, practicing twenty years in Paris, speaking English,
French, Spanish, German, Italian, seeking situation," is cheek by jowl
with a "_Plumber_, good all round man." A young man who has "put 9 years
at sea as steward" nonchalantly asks "What have you?" A "_Former
College Professor_, 30, seeks field of occupation in advertising." And a
"_Cavalry_ man, excellent record, wishes position at anything." A
"_Cultured Visiting Governess_ of good family, social position, trains
ladies, English, grammar, literature, elegant correspondence, art of
conversation, current events, social etiquette." A remarkable
"gentleman" presents himself as "qualified to do most anything." And a
"Christian, age 38," wishes a position as "manager of a laundry."
A strategic device frequently employed by the humble is that of getting
someone whose position has weight to present them. For instance, "Rev.
Dr. Moffett recommends a colored man for janitor of a loft building."
And numerous are the gentlemen who, laying up their cars, are interested
in placing their chauffeurs elsewhere.
"_Boy_" is perhaps the word which dominates the page. Most boys,
apparently, are not particular in their choice of a calling. They are
"willing to do anything." Now and then one declares that he is a "good
fighter," or something like that. Here is one who demands a "position
where mental ability will be necessary." Here is another who is very
specific, thus: "15-1/2 years old, 5 feet 8-1/4 inches tall."
Sometimes one meets a very extraordinary character in these columns. The
other day no less a distinguished person than this put in an ad:
I am compelled, through severe strain, to discontinue my work
(involving the mental faculties) with which I have puzzled the
scientific world for several years, and which has netted me a
weekly income of over $200; I have no other source for a livelihood
and consequently appeal to the business world for an opportunity to
grow up in a new endeavor. WHY NOT MEET ME AND TALK IT OVER?
A genuinely touching ad, sensible and obviously quite sincere, in which
you hear the appealing voice of a fellow being in trouble, but an ad
which I fear is rather futile, is one like this:
Am 43 years old; defective hearing prevents continuation of
salesman's career; I want situation where this impairment does not
prevent satisfactory discharge of required duties.
A great, and a grave, lesson may be learned from the "Situations Wanted"
page. And that is to be found mainly in the section where the first word
of each advertisement is simply "MAN." Men there are in it of every age.
I mean in considering the plight of the world one should ponder that
great army whose business is "anything."