Whatever the disposition toward merriment at his cousin's expense
entertained by the Squire, it vanished instantly at the sight of the
Captain's doleful visage and emaciated figure.
"Very good in you to come to town to see me--very good in you, cousin;
and in you too, Mr. Dale. How very well you are both looking. I'm a sad
wreck. You might count every bone in my body."
"Hazeldean air and roast beef will soon set you up, my boy," said
the Squire kindly. "You were a great goose to leave them, and these
comfortable rooms of yours in the Albany."
"They _are_ comfortable, though not showy," said the Captain,
with tears in his eyes. "I had done my best to make them so. New
carpets--this very chair--(morocco!)--that Japan cat (holds toast and
muffins)--just when--(the tears here broke forth, and the Captain
fairly whimpered)--just when that ungrateful, bad-hearted man wrote me
word 'he was--was dying and lone in the world;' and--and--to think what
I've gone through for him!--and to treat me so. Cousin William, he has
grown as hale as yourself, and--and--"
"Cheer up, cheer up!" cried the compassionate Squire. "It is a very
hard case, I allow. But you see, as the old proverb says, ''tis
ill waiting for a dead man's shoes;' and in future--I don't mean
offense--but I think if you would calculate less on the livers of your
relations, it would be all the better for your own. Excuse me."
"Cousin William," replied the poor Captain, "I am sure I never
calculated; but still, if you had seen that deceitful man's
good-for-nothing face--as yellow as a guinea--and have gone through
all I've gone through, you would have felt cut to the heart as I do.
I can't bear ingratitude. I never could. But let it pass. Will that
gentleman take a chair?"
PARSON.--"Mr. Fairfield has kindly called with us, because he knows
something of this system of homoeopathy which you have adopted, and
may, perhaps, know the practitioner. What is the name of your doctor?"
CAPTAIN (looking at his watch).--"That reminds me, (swallowing a
globule.) A great relief these little pills--after the physic I've
taken to please that malignant man. He always tried his doctor's stuff
upon me. But there's another world, and a juster!"
With that pious conclusion, the Captain again began to weep.
"Touched," muttered the Squire, with his forefinger on his forehead.
"You seem to have a good tidy sort of nurse here, Cousin Barnabas. I
hope she's pleasant, and lively, and don't let you take on so."
"Hist! don't talk of her. All mercenary; every bit of her fawning.
Would you believe it? I give her ten shillings a week, besides all
that goes down of my pats of butter and rolls, and I overheard
the jade saying to the laundress that 'I could not last long; and
she'd--EXPECTATIONS!' Ah, Mr. Dale, when one thinks of the sinfulness
there is in this life! But I'll not think of it. No--I'll not. Let us
change the subject You were asking my doctor's name? It is--"
Here the woman 'with expectations' threw open the door, and suddenly
announced--"DR. MORGAN."