XLV.

Cynthia found Mrs. Durgin in the old farm-house kitchen at work getting

breakfast when she came up to the hotel in the morning. She was early,

but the elder woman had been earlier still, and her heavy face showed

more of their common night-long trouble than the girl's.

She demanded, at sight of her, "What's the matter with you and Jeff,

Cynthy?"

Cynthia was unrolling the cloud from her hair. She said, as she tied on

her apron: "You must get him to tell you, Mrs. Durgin."

"Then there is something?"

"Yes."

"Has Jeff been using you wrong?"

Cynthia stooped to open the oven door, and to turn the pan of biscuit she

found inside. She shut the door sharply to, and said, as she rose: "I

don't want to tell anything about it, and I sha'n't, Mrs. Durgin. He can

do it, if he wants to. Shall I make the coffee?"

"Yes; you seem to make it better than I do. Do you think I shouldn't

believe you was fair to him?"

"I wasn't thinking of that. But it's his secret. If he wants to keep it,

he can keep it, for all me."

"You ha'n't give each other up?"

"I don't know." Cynthia turned away with a trembling chin, and began to

beat the coffee up with an egg she had dropped into the pot. She put the

breakfast on the table when it was ready, but she would not sit down with

the rest. She said she did not want any breakfast, and she drank a cup of

coffee in the kitchen.

It fell to Jeff mainly to keep the talk going. He had been out at the

barn with Jombateeste since daybreak, looking after the cattle, and the

joy of the weather had got into his nerves and spirits. At first he had

lain awake after he went to bed, but he had fallen asleep about midnight,

and got a good night's rest. He looked fresh and strong and very

handsome. He talked resolutely to every one at the table, but Jombateeste

was always preoccupied with eating at his meals, and Frank Whitwell had

on a Sunday silence, which was perhaps deepened by a feeling that there

was something wrong between his sister and Jeff, and it would be rash to

commit himself to an open friendliness until he understood the case. His

father met Jeff's advances with philosophical blandness and evasion, and

Mrs. Durgin was provisionally dry and severe both with the Whitwells and

her son. After breakfast she went to the parlor, and Jeff set about a

tour of the hotel, inside and out. He looked carefully to the details of

its winter keeping. Then he came back and boldly joined his mother where

she sat before her stove, whose subdued heat she found pleasant in the

lingering cold of the early spring.

He tossed his hat on the table beside her, and sat down on the other side

of the stove. "Well, I must say the place has been well looked after. I

don't believe Jackson himself could have kept it in better shape. When

was the last you heard from him?"

"I hope," said his mother, gravely, "you've been lookin' after your end

at Boston, too."

"Well, not as well as you have here, mother," said Jeff, candidly. "Has

Cynthy told you?"

"I guess she expected you to tell me, if there was anything."

"There's a lot; but I guess I needn't go over it all. I've been playing

the devil."

"Jeff!"

"Yes, I have. I've been going with another girl down there, one the kind

you wanted me to make up to, and I went so far I--well, I made love to

her; and then I thought it over, and found out I didn't really care for

her, and I had to tell her so, and then I came up to tell Cynthy. That's

about the size of it. What do you think of it?"

"D' you tell Cynthy?"

"Yes, I told her."

"What 'd she say?"

"She said I'd better go back to the other girl." Jeff laughed hardily,

but his mother remained impassive.

"I guess she's right; I guess you had."

"That seems to be the general opinion. That's what Mr. Westover advised.

I seem to be the only one against it. I suppose you mean that I'm not fit

for Cynthy. I don't deny it. All I say is I want her, and I don't want

the other one. What are you going to do in a case like that?"

"The way I should look at it," said his mother, "is this: whatever you

are, Cynthy made you. You was a lazy, disobedient, worthless boy, and it

was her carin' for you from the first that put any spirit and any

principle into you. It was her that helped you at school when you was

little things together; and she helped you at the academy, and she's

helped you at college. I'll bet she could take a degree, or whatever it

is, at Harvard better than you could now; and if you ever do take a

degree, you've got her to thank for it."

"That's so," said Jeff. "And what's the reason you didn't want me to

marry her when I came in here last summer and told you I'd asked her to?"

"You know well enough what the reason was. It was part of the same thing

as my wantin' you to be a lawyer; but I might knowed that if you didn't

have Cynthy to go into court with you, and put the words into your mouth,

you wouldn't make a speech that would"--Mrs. Durgin paused for a fitting

figure--"save a flea from the gallows."

Jeff burst into a laugh. "Well, I guess that's so, mother. And now you

want me to throw away the only chance I've got of learning how to run

Lion's Head in the right way by breaking with Cynthy."

"Nobody wants you to run Lion's Head for a while yet," his mother

returned, scornfully. "Jackson is going to run Lion's Head. He'll be home

the end of June, and I'll run Lion's Head till he gets here. You talk,"

she went on, "as if it was in your hands to break with Cynthy, or throw

away the chance with her. The way I look at it, she's broke with you, and

you ha'n't got any chance with her. Oh, Jeff," she suddenly appealed to

him, "tell me all about it! What have you been up to? If I understood it

once, I know I can make her see it in the right light."

"The better you understand it, mother, the less you'll like it; and I

guess Cynthy sees it in the right light already. What did she say?"

"Nothing. She said she'd leave it to you."

"Well, that's like Cynthy. I'll tell you, then," said Jeff; and he told

his mother his whole affair with Bessie Lynde. He had to be very

elemental, and he was aware, as he had never been before, of the

difference between Bessie's world and his mother's world, in trying to

make Bessie's world conceivable to her.

He was patient in going over every obscure point, and illustrating from

the characters and condition of different summer folks the facts of

Bessie's entourage. It is doubtful, however, if he succeeded in conveying

to his mother a clear and just notion of the purely chic nature of the

girl. In the end she seemed to conceive of her simply as a hussy, and so

pronounced her, without limit or qualification, in spite of Jeff's

laughing attempt to palliate her behavior, and to inculpate himself. She

said she did not see what he had done that was so much out of the way.

That thing had led him on from the beginning; she had merely got her

come-uppings, when all was said. Mrs. Durgin believed Cynthia would look

at it as she did, if she could have it put before her rightly. Jeff shook

his head with persistent misgiving. His notion was that Cynthia saw the

affair only too clearly, and that there was no new light to be thrown on

it from her point of view. Mrs. Durgin would not allow this; she was sure

that she could bring Cynthia round; and she asked Jeff whether it was his

getting that fellow drunk that she seemed to blame him for the most. He

answered that he thought that was pretty bad, but he did not believe that

was the worst thing in Cynthia's eyes. He did not forbid his mother's

trying to do what she could with her, and he went away for a walk, and

left the house to the two women. Jombateeste was in the barn, which he

preferred to the house, and Frank Whitwell had gone to church over at the

Huddle. As Jeff passed Whitwell's cottage in setting out on his stroll he

saw the philosopher through the window, seated with his legs on the

table, his hat pushed back, and his spectacles fallen to the point of his

nose, reading, and moving his lips as he read.

The forenoon sun was soft, but the air was cool.

There was still plenty of snow on the upper slopes of the hills, and

there was a drift here and there in a corner of pasture wall in the

valley; but the springtime green was beginning to hover over the wet

places in the fields; the catkins silvered the golden tracery of the

willow branches by the brook; there was a buzz of bees about them, and

about the maples, blackened by the earlier flow of sap through the holes

in the bark made by the woodpeckers' bills. Now and then the tremolo of a

bluebird shook in the tender light and the keen air. At one point in the

road where the sun fell upon some young pines in a sheltered spot a

balsamic odor exhaled from them.

These gentle sights and sounds and odors blended in the influence which

Jeff's spirit felt more and more. He realized that he was a blot on the

loveliness of the morning. He had a longing to make atonement and to win

forgiveness. His heart was humbled toward Cynthia, and he went wondering

how his mother would make it out with her, and how, if she won him any

advantage, he should avail himself of it and regain the girl's trust; he

had no doubt of her love. He perceived that there was nothing for him

hereafter but the most perfect constancy of thought and deed, and he

desired nothing better.

At a turn of his road where it branched toward the Huddle a group of

young girls stood joking and laughing; before Jeff came up with them they

separated, and all but one continued on the way beyond the turning. She

came toward Jeff, who gayly recognized her as she drew near.

She blushed and bridled at his bow and at his beauty and splendor, and in

her embarrassment pertly said that she did not suppose he would have

remembered her. She was very young, but at fifteen a country girl is not

so young as her town sister at eighteen in the ways of the other sex.

Jeff answered that he should have known her anywhere, in spite of her

looking so much older than she did in the summer when she had come with

berries to the hotel. He said she must be feeling herself quite a young

lady now, in her long dresses, and he praised the dress which she had on.

He said it became her style; and he found such relief from his heavy

thoughts in these harmless pleasantries that he kept on with them. He had

involuntarily turned with her to walk back to her house on the way he had

come, and he asked her if he might not carry her catkins for her. She had

a sheaf of them in the hollow of her slender arm, which seemed to him

very pretty, and after a little struggle she yielded them to him. The

struggle gave him still greater relief from his self-reproach, and at her

gate he begged her to let him keep one switch of the pussywillows, and he

stood a moment wondering whether he might not ask her for something else.

She chose one from the bundle, and drew it lightly across his face before

she put it in his hand. "You may have this for Cynthy," she said, and she

ran laughingly up the pathway to her door.

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