CHAPTER XL.

"She's beautiful; and therefore to be wooed:

She is a woman; therefore to be won."

--_Henry VI._

If Denner had had a suspicion that Esther's presence at Transome Court

was not agreeable to her mistress, it was impossible to entertain such a

suspicion with regard to the other members of the family. Between her

and little Harry there was an extraordinary fascination. This creature,

with the soft, broad, brown cheeks, low forehead, great black eyes,

tiny, well-defined nose, fierce, biting tricks toward every person and

thing he disliked, and insistence on entirely occupying those he liked,

was a human specimen such as Esther had never seen before, and she

seemed to be equally original in Harry's experience. At first sight her

light complexion and her blue gown, probably also her sunny smile and

her hands stretched out toward him, seemed to make a show for him as of

a new sort of bird: he threw himself backward against his "Gappa," as he

called old Mr. Transome, and stared at this new comer with the gravity

of a wild animal. But she had no sooner sat down on the sofa in the

library than he climbed up to her, and began to treat her as an

attractive object in natural history, snatched up her curls with his

brown fist, and, discovering that there was a little ear under them,

pinched it and blew into it, pulled at her coronet of plaits, and seemed

to discover with satisfaction that it did not grow at the summit of her

head, but could be dragged down and altogether undone. Then finding that

she laughed, tossed him back, kissed, and pretended to bite him--in

fact, was an animal that understood fun--he rushed off and made Dominic

bring a small menagerie of white mice, squirrels, and birds, with Moro,

the black spaniel, to make her acquaintance. Whomsoever Harry liked, it

followed that Mr. Transome must like: "Gappa," along with Nimrod the

retriever, was part of the menagerie, and perhaps endured more than all

the other live creatures in the way of being tumbled about. Seeing that

Esther bore having her hair pulled down quite merrily, and that she was

willing to be harnessed and beaten, the old man began to confide to her,

in his feeble, smiling, and rather jerking fashion, Harry's remarkable

feats: how he had one day, when Gappy was asleep, unpinned a whole

drawerful of beetles, to see if they would fly away; then, disgusted

with their stupidity, was about to throw them all on the ground and

stamp on them, when Dominic came in and rescued these valuable

specimens; also, how he had subtly watched Mrs. Transome at the cabinet

where she kept her medicines, and, when she had left it for a little

while without locking it, had gone to the drawers and scattered half the

contents on the floor. But what old Mr. Transome thought the most

wonderful proof of an almost preternatural cleverness was, that Harry

would hardly ever talk, but preferred making inarticulate noises, or

combining syllables after a method of his own.

"He can talk well enough if he likes," said Gappa, evidently thinking

that Harry, like the monkeys, had deep reasons for his reticence.

"You mind him," he added, nodding at Esther, and shaking with low-toned

laughter. "You'll hear: he knows the right names of things well enough,

but he likes to make his own. He'll give you one all to yourself before

long."

And when Harry seemed to have made up his mind distinctly that Esther's

name was "Boo," Mr. Transome nodded at her with triumphant satisfaction,

and then told her in a low whisper, looking round cautiously beforehand,

that Harry would never call Mrs. Transome "Gamma," but always "Bite."

"It's wonderful!" said he, laughing slyly.

The old man seemed so happy now in the new world created for him by

Dominic and Harry, that he would perhaps have made a holocaust of his

flies and beetles if it had been necessary in order to keep this living,

lively kindness about him. He no longer confined himself to the library,

but shuffled along from room to room, staying and looking on at what was

going forward whenever he did not find Mrs. Transome alone.

To Esther the sight of this feeble-minded, timid, paralytic man, who had

long abdicated all mastery over the things that were his, was something

piteous. Certainly this had never been part of the furniture she had

imagined for the delightful aristocratic dwelling in her Utopia; and the

sad irony of such a lot impressed her the more because in her father she

was accustomed to age accompanied with mental acumen and activity. Her

thoughts went back in conjecture over the past life of Mr. and Mrs.

Transome, a couple so strangely different from each other. She found it

impossible to arrange their existence in the seclusion of this fine park

and in this lofty large-roomed house, where it seemed quite ridiculous

to be anything so small as a human being, without finding it rather

dull. Mr. Transome had always had his beetles, but Mrs. Transome----? it

was not easy to conceive that the husband and wife had ever been very

fond of each other.

Esther felt at her ease with Mrs. Transome: she was gratified by the

consciousness--for on this point Esther was very quick--that Mrs.

Transome admired her, and looked at her with satisfied eyes. But when

they were together in the early days of her stay, the conversation

turned chiefly on what happened in Mrs. Transome's youth--what she wore

when she was presented at Court--who were the most distinguished and

beautiful women at that time--the terrible excitement of the French

Revolution--the emigrants she had known, and the history of various

titled members of the Lingon family. And Esther, from native delicacy,

did not lead to more recent topics of a personal kind. She was copiously

instructed that the Lingon family was better than that even of the elder

Transomes, and was privileged with an explanation of the various

quarterings, which proved that the Lingon blood had been continually

enriched. Poor Mrs. Transome, with her secret bitterness and dread,

still found a flavor in this sort of pride; none the less because

certain deeds of her own life had been in fatal inconsistency with it.

Besides, genealogies entered into her stock of ideas, and her talk on

such subjects was as necessary as the notes of the linnet or the

blackbird. She had no ultimate analysis of things that went beyond blood

and family--the Herons of Fenshore or the Badgers of Hillbury. She had

never seen behind the canvas with which her life was hung. In the dim

background there was the burning mount and the tables of the law; in the

foreground there was Lady Debarry privately gossipping about her, and

Lady Wyvern finally deciding not to send her invitations to dinner.

Unlike that Semiramis who made laws to suit her practical license, she

lived, poor soul, in the midst of desecrated sanctities, and of honors

that looked tarnished in the light of monotonous and weary suns.

Glimpses of the Lingon heraldry in their freshness were interesting to

Esther; but it occurred to her that when she had known about them a good

while they would cease to be succulent themes of converse or meditation,

and Mrs. Transome, having known them all along, might have felt a vacuum

in spite of them.

Nevertheless it was entertaining at present to be seated on soft

cushions with her netting before her, while Mrs. Transome went on with

her embroidery, and told in that easy phrase, and with that refined

high-bred tone and accent which she possessed in perfection, family

stories that to Esther were like so many novelettes; what diamonds were

in the Earl's family, own cousins to Mrs. Transome; how poor Lady Sara's

husband went off into jealous madness only a month after their marriage,

and dragged that sweet blue-eyed thing by the hair; and how the

brilliant Fanny, having married a country parson, became so niggardly

that she had gone about almost begging for fresh eggs from the farmers'

wives, though she had done very well with her six sons, as there was a

bishop and no end of interest in the family, and two of them got

appointments in India.

At present Mrs. Transome did not touch at all on her own time of

privation, or her troubles with her eldest son, or on anything that lay

very close to her heart. She conversed with Esther, and acted the part

of hostess, as she performed her toilet and went on with her embroidery:

these things were to be done whether one were happy or miserable. Even

the patriarch Job, if he had been a gentleman of the modern West, would

have avoided picturesque disorder and poetical laments; and the friends

who called on him, though not less disposed than Bildad the Shuhite to

hint that their unfortunate friend was in the wrong, would have sat on

chairs and held their hats in their hands. The harder problems of our

life have changed less than our manners; we wrestle with the old

sorrows, but more decorously. Esther's inexperience prevented her from

divining much about this fine gray-haired woman, whom she could not help

perceiving to stand apart from the family group, as if there were some

cause of isolation for her both within and without. To her young heart

there was a peculiar interest in Mrs. Transome. An elderly woman, whose

beauty, position, and graceful kindness toward herself, made deference

to her spontaneous, was a new figure in Esther's experience. Her quick

light movement was always ready to anticipate what Mrs. Transome wanted;

her bright apprehension and silvery speech were always ready to cap Mrs.

Transome's narratives or instructions even about doses and liniments,

with some lively commentary. She must have behaved charmingly; for one

day when she had tripped across the room to put the screen just in the

right place, Mrs. Transome said, taking her hand, "My dear, you make me

wish I had a daughter!"

That was pleasant; and so it was to be decked by Mrs. Transome's own

hands in a set of turquoise ornaments, which became her wonderfully,

worn with a white Cashmere dress, which was also insisted on. Esther

never reflected that there was a double intention in these pretty ways

toward her; with young generosity, she was rather preoccupied by the

desire to prove that she herself entertained no low triumph in the fact

that she had rights prejudicial to this family whose life she was

learning. And besides, through all Mrs. Transome's perfect manners,

there pierced some undefinable indications of a hidden anxiety much

deeper than anything she could feel about this affair of the estate--to

which she often alluded slightly as a reason for informing Esther of

something. It was impossible to mistake her for a happy woman; and young

speculation is always stirred by discontent for which there is no

obvious cause. When we are older, we take the uneasy eyes and the bitter

lips more as a matter of course.

But Harold Transome was more communicative about recent years than his

mother was. He thought it well that Esther should know how the fortune

of his family had been drained by law expenses, owing to suits

mistakenly urged by her family; he spoke of his mother's lonely life

and pinched circumstances, of her lack of comfort in her elder son, and

of the habit she had consequently acquired of looking at the gloomy side

of things. He hinted that she had been accustomed to dictate, and that,

as he had left her when he was a boy, she had perhaps indulged the dream

that he would come back a boy. She was still sore on the point of his

politics. These things could not be helped, but so far as he could, he

wished to make the rest of her life as cheerful as possible.

Esther listened eagerly, and took these things to heart. The claim to an

inheritance, the sudden discovery of a right to a fortune held by

others, was acquiring a very distinct and unexpected meaning for her.

Every day she was getting more clearly into her imagination what it

would be to abandon her own past, and what she would enter into in

exchange for it; what it would be to disturb a long possession, and how

difficult it was to fix a point at which the disturbance might begin, so

as to be contemplated without pain.

Harold Transome's thoughts turned on the same subject, but accompanied

by a different state of feeling and with more definite resolutions. He

saw a mode of reconciling all difficulties, which looked pleasanter to

him the longer he looked at Esther. When she had been hardly a week in

the house, he had made up his mind to marry her; and it had never

entered into that mind that the decision did not rest entirely with his

inclination. It was not that he thought slightly of Esther's demands; he

saw that she would require considerable attractions to please her, and

that there were difficulties to be overcome. She was clearly a girl who

must be wooed; but Harold did not despair of presenting the requisite

attractions, and the difficulties gave more interest to the wooing than

he could have believed. When he had said that he would not marry an

Englishwoman, he had always made a mental reservation in favor of

peculiar circumstances; and now the peculiar circumstances were come. To

be deeply in love was a catastrophe not likely to happen to him; but he

was readily amorous. No woman could make him miserable, but he was

sensitive to the presence of women, and was kind to them; not with

grimaces, like a man of mere gallantry, but beamingly, easily, like a

man of genuine good-nature. And each day he was near Esther, the

solution of all difficulties by marriage became a more pleasing

prospect; though he had to confess to himself that the difficulties did

not diminish on a nearer view, in spite of the flattering sense that

she brightened at his approach.

Harold was not one to fail in a purpose for want of assiduity. After an

hour or two devoted to business in the morning, he went to look for

Esther, and if he did not find her at play with Harry and old Mr.

Transome, or chatting with his mother, he went into the drawing-room,

where she was usually either seated with a book on her knee and "making

a bed for her cheek" with one little hand, while she looked out of the

window, or else standing in front of one of the full-length family

portraits with an air of rumination. Esther found it impossible to read

in these days; her life was a book which she seemed herself to be

constructing--trying to make character clear before her, and looking

into the ways of destiny.

The active Harold had almost always something definite to propose by way

of filling the time; if it were fine, she must walk out with him and see

the grounds; and when the snow melted and it was no longer slippery, she

must get on horseback and learn to ride. If they staid indoors, she must

learn to play at billiards, or she must go over the house and see the

pictures he had had hung anew, or the costumes he had brought from the

East; or come into his study and look at the map of the estate, and hear

what--if it had remained in his family--he had intended to do in every

corner of it in order to make the most of its capabilities.

About a certain time in the morning Esther had learned to expect him.

Let every wooer make himself strongly expected; he may succeed by dint

of being absent, but hardly in the first instance. One morning Harold

found her in the drawing-room, leaning against a console-table, and

looking at the full-length portrait of a certain Lady Betty Transome,

who had lived a century and a half before, and had the usual charm of

ladies in Sir Peter Lely's style.

"Don't move, pray," he said on entering; "you look as if you were

standing for your own portrait."

"I take that as an insinuation," said Esther, laughing, and moving

toward her seat on an ottoman near the fire, "for I notice almost all

the portraits are in a conscious, affected attitude. That fair Lady

Betty looks as if she had been drilled into that posture, and had not

will enough of her own ever to move again unless she had a little push

given to her."

"She brightens up that panel well with her long satin skirt," said

Harold, as he followed Esther, "but alive I dare say she would have been

less cheerful company."

"One would certainly think that she had just been unpacked from silver

paper. Ah, how chivalrous you are!" said Esther, as Harold, kneeling on

one knee, held her silken netting-stirrup for her to put her foot

through. She had often fancied pleasant scenes in which such homage was

rendered to her, and the homage was not disagreeable now it was really

come; but, strangely enough, a little darting sensation at that moment

was accompanied by the vivid remembrance of some one who had never paid

the least attention to her foot. There had been a slight blush, such as

often came and went rapidly, and she was silent a moment. Harold

naturally believed that it was he himself who was filling the field of

vision. He would have liked to place himself on the ottoman near Esther,

and behave very much more like a lover; but he took a chair opposite to

her at a circumspect distance. He dared not do otherwise. Along with

Esther's playful charm she conveyed an impression of personal pride and

high spirit which warned Harold's acuteness that in the delicacy of

their present position he might easily make a false move and offend her.

A woman was likely to be credulous about adoration, and to find no

difficulty in referring it to her intrinsic attractions; but Esther was

too dangerously quick and critical not to discern the least awkwardness

that looked like offering her marriage as a convenient compromise for

himself. Beforehand, he might have said that such characteristics as

hers were not loveable in a woman; but, as it was, he found that the

hope of pleasing her had a piquancy quite new to him.

"I wonder," said Esther, breaking the silence in her usual light silvery

tones--"I wonder whether the women who looked in that way ever felt any

troubles. I see there are two old ones up-stairs in the billiard-room

who have only got fat; the expression of their faces is just of the same

sort."

"A woman ought never to have any trouble. There should always be a man

to guard her from it. (Harold Transome was masculine and fallible; he

had incautiously sat down this morning to pay his addresses by talk

about nothing in particular; and, clever experienced man as he was, he

fell into nonsense.)

"But suppose the man himself got into trouble--you would wish her to

mind about that. Or suppose," added Esther, suddenly looking up merrily

at Harold, "the man himself was troublesome?"

"Oh, you must not strain probabilities in that way. The generality of

men are perfect. Take me, for example."

"You are a perfect judge of sauces," said Esther, who had her triumphs

in letting Harold know that she was capable of taking notes.

"That is perfection number one. Pray go on."

"Oh, the catalogue is too long--I should be tired before I got to your

magnificent ruby ring and your gloves always of the right color."

"If you would let me tell you your perfections, I should not be tired."

"That is not complimentary; it means that the list is short."

"No; it means that the list is pleasant to dwell upon."

"Pray don't begin," said Esther, with her pretty toss of the head; "it

would be dangerous to our good understanding. The person I liked best in

the world was one who did nothing but scold me and tell me of my

faults."

When Esther began to speak, she meant to do no more than make a remote

unintelligible allusion, feeling, it must be owned, a naughty will to

flirt and be saucy, and thwart Harold's attempts to be felicitous in

compliment. But she had no sooner uttered the words than they seemed to

her like a confession. A deep flush spread itself over her face and

neck, and the sense that she was blushing went on deepening her color.

Harold felt himself unpleasantly illuminated as to a possibility that

had never yet occurred to him. His surprise made an uncomfortable pause,

in which Esther had time to feel much vexation.

"You speak in the past tense," said Harold, at last; "yet I am rather

envious of that person. I shall never be able to win your regard in the

same way. Is it anyone at Treby? Because in that case I can enquire

about your faults."

"Oh, you know I have always lived among grave people," said Esther, more

able to recover herself now she was spoken to. "Before I came home to be

with my father I was nothing but a school-girl first, and then a teacher

in different stages of growth. People in those circumstances are not

usually flattered. But there are varieties in fault-finding. At our

Paris school the master I liked best was an old man who stormed at me

terribly when I read Racine, but yet showed that he was proud of me."

Esther was getting quite cool again. But Harold was not entirely

satisfied; if there was any obstacle in his way, he wished to know

exactly what it was.

"That must have been a wretched life for you at Treby," he said--"a

person of your accomplishments."

"I used to be dreadfully discontented," said Esther, much occupied with

mistakes she had made in her netting. "But I was becoming less so. I

have had time to get rather wise, you know; I am two-and-twenty."

"Yes," said Harold, rising and walking a few paces backward and forward,

"you are past your majority; you are empress of your own fortunes--and

more besides."

"Dear me," said Esther, letting her work fall, and leaning back against

the cushions; "I don't think I know very well what to do with my

empire."

"Well," said Harold, pausing in front of her, leaning one arm on the

mantelpiece, and speaking very gravely, "I hope that in any case, since

you appear to have no near relative who understands affairs, you will

confide in me, and trust me with all your intentions as if I had no

other personal concern in the matter than a regard for you. I hope you

believe me capable of acting as the guardian of your interest, even

where it turns out to be inevitably opposed to my own."

"I am sure you have given me reason to believe it," said Esther, with

seriousness, putting out her hand to Harold. She had not been left in

ignorance that he had had opportunities twice offered of stifling her

claims.

Harold raised the hand to his lips, but dared not retain it more than an

instant. Still the sweet reliance in Esther's manner made an

irresistible temptation to him. After standing still a moment or two,

while she bent over her work, he glided to the ottoman and seated

himself close by her, looking at her busy hands.

"I see you have made mistakes in your work," he said, bending still

nearer, for he saw that she was conscious, yet not angry.

"Nonsense! you know nothing about it," said Esther, laughing, and

crushing up the soft silk under her palms. "Those blunders have a design

in them."

She looked round, and saw a handsome face very near her. Harold was

looking, as he felt, thoroughly enamored of this bright woman, who was

not at all to his preconceived taste. Perhaps a touch of hypothetic

jealousy now helped to heighten the effect. But he mastered all

indiscretion, and only looked at her as he said--

"I am wondering whether you have any deep wishes and secrets that I

can't guess."

"Pray don't speak of my wishes," said Esther, quite overmastered by this

new and apparently involuntary manifestation in Harold; "I could not

possibly tell you one at this moment--I think I shall never find them

out again. Oh, yes," she said, abruptly, struggling to relieve herself

from the oppression of unintelligible feelings--"I do know one wish

distinctly. I want to go and see my father. He writes me word that all

is well with him, but still I want to see him."

"You shall be driven there when you like."

"May I go now--I mean as soon as it is convenient?" said Esther, rising.

"I will give the order immediately, if you wish it," said Harold,

understanding that the audience was broken up.

Felix Holt, the Radical · 第 40 / 51 章