You have been disappointed, haven’t you? Of course you have, again and
again. Does it hurt very much when things do not go as you have planned
and hoped? Does it seem as if you “just can’t stand it”? Some people can
bear disappointment; they seem to have learned the secret of taking off
the keen edge so that it does not hurt so much. Have you learned that
secret yet? I fancy I hear some one say, “Oh! I wish I knew the secret.”
There is more than one part to the secret. You may learn it if you will;
you may get where you can bear disappointment and keep sweet all the time.
Many people prepare themselves to be disappointed; they arrange things so
that they are certain to be disappointed. They set their heart so fully
upon the thing they wish to have or do, whatever it may be, that they make
no provision whatever, except to carry out their plans exactly as they
have devised them. They do not provide for any contingencies that may
arise. Their plans fill their whole horizon. They can see nothing else;
they can think of nothing else; they want it just that way and no other
way. Thus they prepare themselves to suffer keen disappointment should
anything happen different from what they expect. This is what puts the
sting in disappointment. Always make provision in your plans for whatever
may happen. Always make your promises to yourself with the proviso, “If
nothing prevents.” If you are going on a journey, say, “If it does not
rain, or if I am well, or if this or that does not prevent.” Keep the
thought in your mind that something may prevent, and do not get it too
much settled as a fact that you will do what you have planned. Take into
consideration that you are a servant, not the master; do not forget to put
in, “If the Lord wills.”
If disappointment comes, it may be necessary for us to repress our
feelings of dissatisfaction. If we begin pitying ourselves and saying,
“Oh, it is too bad! it is just too bad!” we shall only feel the more
keenly the hurt; and the more we cultivate the habit of self-pity, the
more power it exercises over us. Some people have so yielded to the power
of self-pity that whole days are darkened by little trifling
disappointments that they ought to throw off in a few minutes. Nine tenths
of the suffering that comes from disappointment has its root in self-pity.
You have better qualities in you; use them. When you are disappointed,
take hold of yourself and say, “Here, you can not afford to be miserable
all day because of this.” Repress those feelings of self-pity, lift up
your head, get your eyes on something else, begin making some new plans.
Your old plans are like a broken dish and you can not use them any longer.
All your fretting and brooding over them will not make them work out
right. Take a new start, smile whether you feel like it or not. You have
many other things to enjoy; do not let this one thing spoil them all.
Refuse to think of your unpleasant feelings; resolutely shut the door
against them. God will help you if you try.
Another thing to learn is to submit the will and desires to God. When our
plans fail, we must submit to circumstances, whether we want to or not. If
we rebel, that will not change the circumstances, but it will change our
feelings. The more we rebel, the more we shall suffer. The way to get rid
of the suffering is to get rid of the rebellion. We must submit;
therefore, why not do it gracefully? Many times we can not change
circumstances, no matter how much we dislike them. Resentment will not
hurt circumstances, but it will hurt us. We need to learn the lesson of
submission without rebellion—submission to circumstances and to God.
The Lord is our Master. It is right for him to order our lives as he sees
best. Sometimes it is he who changes our plans for his own purpose; and
when he does this, the outcome is always better than the thing of our own
choosing. If we rebel, we are rebelling against God, and right there lies
the danger. If we are so determined to have our own way that we do not
willingly submit to God’s way, he may have to let us suffer. But when we
submit and commit our ways to him, then we shall have the consolation and
comfort of his Holy Spirit. If we will just learn to change a single
letter in disappointment, and spell it with an “h” instead of a “d,” it
will help take the sting out. Try it once. This is what we have: His
appointment. Now, does not that make it quite different?