_Tenth trial of the Ring._
The Dogs.
Mangogul went immediately to Haria's house; and as he took pleasure
in soliloquy, he said within himself: "This woman never goes to bed
without her four dogs, and either Toys know nothing of those animals,
or her's will give me some account of them; for, thank God, 'tis well
known that she loves her dogs to admiration." At the end of this
monology he found himself in Haria's anti-chamber, and his olfactory
organ already informed him of madam having her usual company in bed
with her. These were a little shag-dog, a spaniel, and two pug-dogs.
The Sultan drew out his snuff-box, took two pinches of Spanish by way
of preservative, and approached Haria. She was asleep, but the pack,
who were upon the watch, hearing some noise, fell to barking, and woke
her. "Peace, my children," said she, but in so mild a tone, that she
could not be suspected of speaking to her daughters, "go to sleep, go
to sleep, and don't disturb my rest nor your own."
Haria was formerly young and pretty. She had had lovers of her own
rank, but they all disappear'd even sooner than her charms. By way
of comforting herself for this desertion, she gave into a whimsical
sort of pomp, and her footmen were the handsomest fellows in Banza.
She grew older and older, and years threw her into oeconomy: she
restrained herself to four dogs and two Bramins, and became a model of
edification. And surely the most envenom'd satyr could find no room to
carp at this management; and for above ten years Haria was in peaceful
possession of a high reputation of virtue, and of those animals. Nay,
her tenderness for the pug-dogs was so well known, that the Bramins
were no longer suspected of sharing it.
Haria renewed her intreaty to those beasts, and they had the
complaisance to obey. Then Mangogul applied his ring, and the
superannuated Toy set about relating the last of its adventures. It was
such a vast while since the first were atchieved, that it had almost
lost the very remembrance of them. "Withdraw, Pompey," it said with a
hoarse voice, "you fatigue me. I like Dido better; I find her more
gentle." Pompey, who was absolutely ignorant of the Toy's voice, went
on in his own way: but Haria awaking, continued. "Get away, then, you
little rogue, you hinder me from taking rest. That is well some times:
but too much is too much." Pompey withdrew. Dido took his place, and
Haria fell asleep.
Mangogul, who had suspended the energy of his ring, turn'd it on, and
the antiquated Toy, uttering a deep, sigh, fell to jabbering, and said:
"Alas! how I am grieved for the death of my large grey-hound; she was
the best little wife, the most caressing creature: she never ceased
giving amusement. She was so sensible, so genteel. Ye are but beasts
in comparison of her. That naughty master of mine killed her.----Poor
Zinzolina, I never think of her, without watering my plants. I
thought it would have been the death of my mistress. She neither eat
nor drank for two days, and narrowly escaped losing her senses. Judge
of her sorrow: her director, her friends, nay her very pug-dogs were
kept from me. Orders were issued to her women to refuse the door
of her appartment to my master, under the penalty of being turn'd
off.----'That monster has robb'd me of my dear Zinzolina,' cried she;
'let him not appear before me, I am resolved never to see him more.'"
Mangogul, curious of learning the circumstances of Zinzolina's death,
revived the electrical power of his ring by rubbing it on the skirt
of his doublet, pointed it at Haria, and the Toy resumed: "Haria,
Ramadec's widow, coiffed herself with Sindor. This youth was of good
birth, had no other fortune, but a certain merit which pleases the sex,
and was, after dogs, Haria's predominant taste. Sindor's indigence
conquered his repugnance to Haria's years and dogs. Twenty thousand
crowns a year blinded his eyes with regard to the wrinkles of his
mistress, and the inconveniency of the pug-dogs; and he married her.
"He was in hopes of getting the better of our beasts by his talents,
and complaisant behavior; and to bring them into disgrace from the very
commencement of his reign; but he was deceived. After the expiration of
some months, when he thought he had merited much by his services; he
took into his head to remonstrate to madam, that her dogs were not as
good company in bed for him as for her; that it was ridiculous to have
more than three; and that to admit more than one at a time, was turning
the nuptial bed into a kennel.
"'I advise you,' said Haria, in a furious tone, 'to attack me with such
speeches. Truly it well becomes a pitiful younger son from Gascony,
whom I have taken from a garret, which was not good enough for my dogs,
to give himself airs of nicety! To be sure, your sheets were perfumed,
my little squire, when you dwelt in furnish'd lodgings. Know this once
for all, that my dogs were long before you in possession of my bed, and
that you may choose either to quit it, or be content to share it with
them.'
"The declaration was peremptory, and our dogs remain'd masters of
their post. But one night, as we were all asleep, Sindor, in turning
unluckily kick'd Zinzolina. The hound, not used to such treatment,
bit the calf of his leg; and madam was immediately awaked by Sindor's
cries. 'What is the matter with you, Sir, one would think your throat
was cutting: you dream.' 'It is your dogs, madam, that devour me, and
your grey-hound has just torn off a piece of my leg.' 'Is that all?'
says Haria, turning from him. 'You make a vast noise for nothing.'
"Sindor, piqued at this discourse, jump'd out of bed, swearing that
he would never set his foot in it again, till the pack was banish'd
thence. He employ'd friends, in order to obtain the exile of the dogs:
but they all failed in that important negotiation. Haria's answer to
them was, that Sindor was a knight of the post, whom she had drawn
out of a cock-loft, which he shared with rats and mice; that it ill
became him to be so nice; that he slept the whole night long; that
she loved her dogs; that they amused her; that from her infancy she
had taken a liking to their caresses; and that she was resolved never
to deprive herself of them till death. 'Tell him besides,' continued
she, addressing the mediators, 'that if he does not humbly submit to
my will, he will repent it while he lives; that I will retract the
donation I have made him, and will add it to the sums which I have
bequeathed by my will, for the support of my dear children.'
"Between you and me," added the Toy, "Sindor must have been a great
fool, to hope that she would do for him, what could not be obtained
by twenty lovers, a director, a confessor, with a legion of Bramins,
who had all lost their Latin on that head. Mean while, as often as
Sindor met our animals, he was seized with such fits of passion, as he
could hardly conquer. One day the unfortunate Zinzolina fell in his
way. He took her by the neck, and threw her out of the window. The poor
creature was kill'd by the fall. Then it was, that a fine noise was
made. Haria, with inflamed countenance, and eyes bathed in tears----"
The Toy was going to repeat what it had already told; for Toys
willingly fall into repetitions: but Mangogul cut its words short.
Its silence was not of long duration: when the prince thought he had
put this doting Toy out of its road, he restored it the freedom of
speech; and the Tatler, bursting out into a loud laugh, resumed by
way of recollection: "But _à propos_, I forgot to tell you what pass'd
on Haria's wedding-night. I have seen a power of ridiculous things in
my life, but never one that came up to this. After a splendid supper,
the bride and bridegroom were conduced to their appartment. Every body
retired except madam's women who undress her: she is undress'd, put to
bed, and Sindor alone remains with her. Observing that the shag-dog,
the two pugs, and the grey-hound, more alert than himself, were taking
possession of his bride; 'permit me, madam,' he said, 'to remove these
rivals a little.' 'My dear, do what you can,' answered Haria: 'for my
part, I have not the courage to drive them away; these little animals
are so attached to me; and I have been so long without any other
company.' 'Perhaps,' replied Sindor, 'they will have the politeness
this night to surrender the fort to me, which I must take possession
of.' 'Try, sir,' said Haria.
"At first Sindor tried gentle means, and pray'd Zinzolina to retire
to a corner. But the untractable animal fell to growling: the allarm
spread among the rest of the troop; and the pug-dogs and shag-dog
bark'd as if their mistress's throat was cutting. Sindor, losing all
patience at this noise, tosses away one of the pugs, drives off the
other, and seizes Pompey by the paw. Pompey, the faithful Pompey,
abandoned by his allies, endeavour'd to repair this loss by the
advantages of the post. Fix'd on his mistress's thighs, with eyes
inflamed, hair standing an end, and open mouth, he grin'd, and shew'd
the enemy two rows of very sharp teeth. Sindor made several assaults
on him, and Pompey repell'd him as often, with bitten fingers and torn
ruffles. The action lasted above a quarter of an hour with an obstinacy
which gave diversion to none but Haria; when Sindor had recourse to a
stratagem against an enemy, whom he despaired conquering by force. He
provoked Pompey with the right hand. Pompey watching this motion, did
not observe that of the left, and was seized by the neck. He made most
vigorous efforts to disengage himself, but in vain. He was obliged
to quit the field of battle, and surrender up Haria. Sindor took
possession of her, but not without effusion of blood: in all likelihood
Haria had resolved that her wedding-night should be a bloody one: her
animals made a good defence, and disappointed not her expectations."
"There," says Mangogul, "is a Toy, that could write a Gazette better
than my secretary." And now well knowing what notions to form of lap
dogs, he return'd to the favorite.
"Prepare yourself," said he, as soon as he saw her, "to hear the most
extravagant things in the world. 'Tis much worse than the baboons of
Palabria. Could you believe, that Haria's four dogs were the rivals,
and the preferred rivals of her husband; and that the death of a
greyhound has raised a quarrel between that couple, never to be made
up."
"What do you say," replied the favorite, "of rivals and dogs. I am
quite in the dark. I know that Haria loves her dogs excessively; but
I know at the same time that Sindor is a hot-temper'd man, who perhaps
did not use all that complaisance, which women require, to whom a man
owes his fortune. But yet, whatever has been his conduct, I cannot
conceive that it has drawn rivals on him. Haria is so venerable, that
I could wish your highness would vouchsafe to explain yourself more
intelligibly."
"Listen," says Mangogul, "and agree that women have excessively
whimsical tastes, to say nothing worse;" then he related Haria's
history to her word for word, as the Toy had told it. Mirzoza could
not refrain from laughter at the first night's battle: but presently
resuming a serious air: "I can't tell," said she to Mangogul, "what
indignation seizes me. I shall have an aversion for these animals and
all those who keep any, and I shall declare to my women that I will
turn off the first, who shall be even suspected of having a lap-dog."
"Pray," replied the Sultan, "why will you extend your hatred so far?
You women are always upon extremes. These animals are good for hunting,
are necessary in the country, and have many other uses, without
reckoning that which Haria makes of them."
"In truth," said Mirzoza, "I begin to believe that your highness will
find it a difficult task to light on a virtuous woman."
"I told you so," answered Mangogul; "but let us not be over hasty:
you may one time or other upbraid me with being indebted to your want
of patience for a declaration, which I pretend to owe entirely to the
trials of my ring. I have some in my mind, which will astonish you.
All secrets are not yet unveiled; and I expect to draw more important
discoveries from those Toys, which remain to be consulted."
Mirzoza was in perpetual apprehensions for her own. Mangogul's
discourse threw her into such uneasiness, as she was not able to
conceal from him: but the Sultan, who had bound himself by an oath,
and in his heart had a regard for religion, used his best endeavours
to calm her mind, gave her some very tender kisses, and went to his
council, whither affairs of moment called him.