_The Bramins._
After the learned had spent themselves on the Toys, the Bramins took
possession of them. Religion laid claim to their chit-chat, as a
subject that came within its jurisdiction, and its ministers pretended
that the hand of Brama manifested itself in that work.
There was held a general assembly of Pontiffs, and a resolution was
taken to employ the best pens to prove in form, that the thing was
supernatural, and that, till their works could be published, it should
be defended by way of theses in the schools, in private conversations,
in the direction of consciences, and in public harangues.
Now, altho' they unanimously agreed that the thing was supernatural;
yet as the people of Congo admitted two principles, and professed a
sort of Manicheism, they were divided in opinion, to which of these two
principles the chit-chat of the Toys ought to be attributed.
Those who had seldom or never been out of their cells, and had turned
over nothing but their books, ascribed the prodigy to Brama. "There is
none but he," said they, "that can interrupt the course of nature; and
time will shew, that in all this he has most profound views."
Those on the contrary, who frequented the toilets, and were oftner
surprized at bed-sides than in their closets, fearing lest some
indiscreet Toy or other might unveil their hypocrisy, laid their
prattle to the charge of Cadabra, a mischief-making deity, and a sworn
enemy to Brama and his servants. This latter system was exposed to
terrible objections, and had not so direct a tendency towards the
reformation of morals. Nay, its defenders did not impose on themselves
about it. But the business was, to screen themselves: and in order to
compass that, religion had not a single minister, who would not have
sacrificed the Pagodas and their Altars a hundred times over.
Mangogul and Mirzoza assisted regularly at the religious service of
Brama, and the whole empire was informed thereof by the news-papers.
On a certain day appointed for celebrating one of the principal
solemnities in the great Mosq, they were present. The Bramin, whose
turn it was to explain the law, mounted the rostrum, pour'd forth a
volley of affected phrases and fulsome compliments on the Sultan and
his favorite; and made an eloquent peroration on the manner of sitting
orthodoxly in company. He had already demonstrated the necessity
thereof by numberless authorities, when being instantaneously seized
with a fit of sacred enthusiasm, he spoke this declamation, which had
the greater effect, as it came in quite unexpected.
"What do I hear in all assemblies? a confused murmur, an unheard noise
strikes my ears. All things are turn'd topsy-turvy, and the faculty
of speech, which the goodness of Brama had hitherto appropriated
to the tongue, is now by an effect of his vengeance transported to
other organs. And what organs? You know, gentlemen. O ungrateful
people, was there a necessity for a new prodigy, to rouze ye from
your lethargy; and had not your crimes witnesses enough, but their
principal instruments must raise their voice? Doubtless their measure
is filled up; since the wrath of heaven has sought new chastisements.
In vain did you envelop yourself in darkness, in vain did you choose
mute accomplices: do you not hear them at present? They have given
depositions against ye from every quarter, and revealed your baseness
to the universe. O thou who governest by thy wisdom! O Brama! just are
thy judgments. Thy law condemns theft, perjury, lying and adultery:
it proscribes the blackness of calumny, the intrigues of ambition,
the fury of hatred, and the artifices of insincerity. Thy faithful
ministers have not ceased declaring these truths to thy children, and
threatening them with the chastisements, which thou in thy just anger
reservedst for prevaricators: but in vain; the fools have delivered
themselves up to the tide of their passions, they followed the torrent,
they have despised our admonitions, they have laughed at our threats,
they have regarded our anathema's as empty noise; their vices are
accumulated, strengthen'd, multiplied; the voice of their impiety has
ascended even to thy throne, and we have not been able to prevent the
tremendous scourge, with which thou hast smote them. After having long
implored thy mercy, let us now extoll thy justice. Overwhelmed by thy
strokes, doubtless they will return to thee, and acknowledge the hand
which is laid heavy on them. But O prodigy of hardheartedness! O excess
of blindness! They have imputed the effect of thy power to the blind
mechanism of nature. They have said in their hearts, Brama is not. All
the properties of matter are not known to us, and the new proof of its
existence is but a proof of the ignorance and credulity of those, who
object it to us. On this foundation they have raised systems, invented
hypotheses, tried experiments: but from the highth of his eternal
habitation, Brama has laugh'd at their vain projects. He has confounded
audacious knowledge, and the Toys have broke, as glass, the impotent
obstacles opposed to their loquacity. Wherefore let those vainglorious
worms confess the weakness of their reason, and the vanity of their
efforts. Let them cease to deny the existence of Brama, or to prescribe
limits to his power. Brama is, he is almighty, and he does not shew
himself to us more visibly in his dreadful scourges, than in his
ineffable favours.
"But who has drawn down these scourges on this wretched country? Is it
not thy injustice, greedy incredulous man? Thy gallantries and silly
amours, worldly immodest woman! Thy excesses and shameful debaucheries,
infamous man of pleasure! Thy hardheartedness for our monasteries,
miser! Thy injustice, corrupt magistrate! Thy usuries, insatiable
money-dealer! Thy effeminacy and irreligion, impious and sycophant
courtier.
"And you, on whom this scourge is particularly fallen, women and
maidens plunged into licentiousness; tho' we, renouncing the duties
of our calling, should keep profound silence with regard to your
irregularities, you carry about you a more importunate voice than ours:
it accompanies you, and will every where rebuke you for your impure
desires, your equivocal connections, your criminal conversations, such
excessive care to please, so many artifices to engage, so much address
to fix, and the impetuosity of your transports, and the fury of your
jealousy. Why then do you delay to shake off the yoke of Cadabra, and
return under the mild laws of Brama? But let us return to our subject.
Well then I was saying that worldlings sit down heretically, and that
for nine reasons; the first, &c."
This discourse made very different impressions. Mangogul and the
Sultana, who were the only persons that knew the secret of the ring,
were convinced that the Bramin had as happily hit off the tattle
of Toys by the assistance of religion, as Orcotomus by the light
of reason. The court ladies and petits-maitres declared the sermon
seditious, and the preacher a visionary. The rest of the audience
esteem'd him a prophet, shed tears, fell to prayers, and even
flagellations, and did not change their courses of life.
The noise of this sermon spread to the very coffee-houses. A
wit pronounced in a decisive tone, that the Bramin had but very
superficially handled the subject, and that his discourse was but a
cold insipid declamation: but in the opinion of the devout women and
the enlightened, it was the most solid piece of eloquence that had been
delivered in the temples these hundred years. And in mine, both the
wit and the devout women were in the right.