_Third trial of the Ring._
The Private Supper.
Supper was served up, the company sate down at table, and at first
they diverted themselves at Monima's charge: all the women unanimously
agreed that her Toy had spoke first; and she must have sunk under this
confederacy, had not the Sultan taken her part. "I do not pretend,"
said he, "that Monima is less gallant than Zelmaida; but I believe her
Toy has more discretion. Besides, when the mouth and Toy of a woman
contradict each other, which to believe?" "Sir," replied a courtier,
"I know not what Toys will say hereafter; but hitherto they have
explain'd themselves on a subject, which is very familiar to them. As
long as they shall have the prudence to speak of nothing but what they
understand, I shall believe them as so many oracles." "Others," said
Mirzoza, "of greater authenticity might be consulted." "Pray, madam,"
replied Mangogul, "what interest can these have in disguising the
truth? Nothing but a chimæra of honour could be their motive: but a
Toy has none of these chimæras. That is not the place of prejudices."
"A chimera of honour," said Mirzoza, "prejudices! If your highness
had been exposed to the same inconveniences with us, you would become
sensible, that whatever touches virtue, is far from being chimærical."
All the ladies, encouraged by the Sultana's answer, insisted that it
was superfluous to put them to certain proofs; and Mangogul, that these
proofs were generally dangerous at least.
This conversation ushered in the champagne: it moved briskly round,
they plied it close, and it warmed the Toys. Then it was that Mangogul
had intended to resume his frolicks. He turn'd his ring on a very gay
sprightly young lady, who sate pretty near him, and directly opposite
to her husband: and immediately issued from under the table a plaintive
noise, a weak languishing voice, which said: "Oh, how I am harrassed! I
can bear it no longer, I am at death's door." "How, by the Pagoda Pongo
Sabiam," cried Husseim, "my wife's Toy speaks, and what can it say?"
"We are going to hear," answered the Sultan.----"Prince, you will
permit me not to be of the number of its auditors," replied Husseim;
"for if any thing ridiculous drop'd from it, do you think?"----"I think
you are a fool," said the Sultan, "to alarm yourself at the prattle of
a Toy: do we not know a good part of what it can say, and may we not
guess the rest? Sit down, then, and endeavour to divert yourself."
Husseim sat down, and his wife's Toy began to prate like a magpye.
"Shall I eternally have this huge Flandrian Valanto? I have seen some
who have made an end; but this man"----At these words Husseim arose in
a fury, snatch'd up a knife, sprang to the other side of the table;
and would have pierced his wife's breast, if his neighbours had not
prevented him. "Husseim," said the Sultan, "you make too much noise:
the company cannot hear. Might not one say, that your wife's Toy is
the only one that has not common sense? And what would become of these
ladies, if their husbands were of your humour? How! you are out of your
wits for a pitiful little adventure of one Valanto, who never made an
end. Return to your seat, behave like a man of honour; see that you
watch yourself, and not commit a second failure before a prince, who
admits you to his pleasures."
While Husseim, stifling his rage, was leaning on the back of a chair,
his eyes shut, and his hand on his forehead; the Sultan dexterously
levell'd his Ring, and the Toy went on. "Valanto's young page would
suit me pretty well: but I know not when he will begin. In the mean
time till the one begins, and the other makes an end, I practise
patience with the Bramin Egon. He is a frightful figure, I must own:
but his talent is to make an end and begin again. Oh, what a great man
a Bramin is!"
By the time the Toy had got as far as this exclamation, Husseim blush'd
to fret for a woman who was so unworthy, and fell a laughing with the
rest of the company; but he kept something in reserve for his spouse.
The entertainment being over, every one went home directly, except
Husseim, who conducted his wife into a house of veiled maidens, and
there shut her up. Mangogul being inform'd of her disgrace paid her a
visit. He found the whole community busy in comforting her, but still
more in trying to get the secret of her exile from her. "'Tis for a
mere trifle," said she, "that I am here. Being last night at supper
with the Sultan, the Champagne was whip'd about, the Tokay gallop'd,
people hardly knew what they said, when my Toy must needs fall to
prating. I do not remember on what subject it talk'd, but it made my
husband take dudgeon."
"To be sure, Madam, he is in the wrong," replied the nuns: "people
ought not to put themselves into such passions for trifles!----How!
your Toy has spoke. Pray does it speak still? How charm'd we should
be to hear it! It must certainly express itself with wit and a good
grace." They were gratified: for the Sultan turn'd his ring on the poor
recluse, and her Toy thank'd them for their civilities; protesting
to them at the same time, that how pleased soever it was with their
company, that of a Bramin would suit it better.
The Sultan embraced the opportunity, to learn some particulars of
the life of these virgins. His Ring interrogated the Toy of a young
recluse, whose name was Cleanthis; and the pretended virgin-Toy
confessed two gardeners, a Bramin, and three cavaliers; and related
how by the assistance of a purging draught and two bleedings, she had
escaped giving scandal. Zephirina owned, by the organ of her Toy, that
she was indebted to the errand-boy of the house, for the honourable
title of mother. But one thing that astonish'd the Sultan, was, that
tho' those sequester'd Toys expressed themselves in very indecent
terms; the virgins, to whom they belong'd, heard them without blushing:
which made him conjecture, that if they failed of the practical part in
those retreats, they had in return a large share of speculation.
In order to clear up this point, he turn'd his ring on a novice between
fifteen and sixteen years of age. "Flora," said her Toy, "has more
than once ogled a young officer thro' the grate. I am certain that she
had an inclination for him. Her little finger told me so." This was a
mortifying stroke for Flora. The ancient ladies condemned her to two
months silence and discipline; and ordered prayers, that the Toys of
the community might remain mute.